Dear Solace***, owner of Smogon Community,
I am leaving you a message because it appears as though I've caused you distress during my match for the Smogon Premier League, occurring on the Saturday of Week 6 at approximately 2:00 p.m. GMT -6. The truth is that I honestly tried as hard as I possibly could to give you the win (as your happiness is the only thing I need to feel as though I've won; as such, I wanted to make you happy by winning – my reasoning seems somewhat complicated, but love makes men do complicated things, no?). However, Pokemon got in the way, as it always seems to. All of my attempts to lose the battle – and thereby bring happiness to you – were made in vain when my Jirachi flinched Breloom to death.
I apologize a thousandfold for the sadness I may have caused you; it was unacceptable of me and, if I may say so, very uncharacteristic. I should have done better. What I did was disappointing for me, and in the words of Bloo, it was downright shameful. I hope you can take some time out of your busy day and forgive me for my misdeeds, as I certainly didn't mean to upset you in any way. Thank you for taking the time to read this – the fact that you did shows the altruism that you stand for. As Queen of Smogon, I obviously expected no less from the greatest user to ever graduate from this University.
Regards,
harsha2014, your humble subordinate
p.s. Happy two-day late Valentine's Day, I hope the masses of the male Smogon population did not swoon over Queen Solace for too long. Again, apologies for not wishing you earlier, I've made another mistake that was surely noticed under the watchful Queen's eyes.