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Ok, now we are introduced to pokemon battles, wow this is never going to end, and hahahahahahahaha a garchomp vs a milotic, I can't possibly imagine who will win, because I am that stupid.

This is volkner's Milotic? According to serebii his full team should consist of dragonite, milotic and rhyperior, now I really can't tell who's ass will be kicked.

WHY THE F**** did the garchomp use flame thrower ON A MILOTIC? Answer? Anime.

"ash works with partner pikachu to master the art of the battle"... then they proceed to show him using pikachu AGAINST A DUSKNOIR. <_<

"traveling with many friends to hone his 'battling skills' " hahahahahahahahahahahaha battling skills! I nearly cried IRL when I read that.

*heard it.

Aww, look even buneary is shocked at that statement that ash has "battling skills", it's so priceless!

Ohh, now we have semi creepy, dramatic, mysterious music playing while Palkia and Dialga battle each other, in what I can only guess is the space time continuum vomit left over from when Arceus watched this movie himself.

And now we have weird spherical LSD representations of dialga and palkia because.... well, dramatic metaphor of the spheres of life or some bull shit like that? Ok, even I give up on trying to figure out what they're going for at this point.

Ok now we see Arceus from the center of a galaxy..This would normally be pretty cool and stuff..if Arceus was actually the size of a very large sun that could have a bright energy aura being seen from the center of a large galaxy WITH SMALLER ONES RIGHT BY IT.

Holy shit, the voice of Amos is the voice of Yugi when the Sacred Pyramid on his necklace glows.

And wait, we find out that some dumbass Actually tried to kill Arceus, does someone need to know the definition of a deity again? Oh no wait, that's the writers, my bad, deities can be killed with just large amounts of boulders.

Oh, ffs Arceus, large amounts of explosions? That's it?!?!? You could literally just make the entire area VANISH FROM EXISTENCE! But sure, go with explosions. *insert are you shitting me face here*

Ohhh, Arceus just woke up from it's slumber and is angry..and just sent out a gigantic energy pulse probably killing all the galaxies where the people that could have written this movie better lived...which would again be fine, IF THE INITIAL PULSE CAME FROM SOMETHING THAT WAS MULTIPLE LIGHT YEARS IN CIRCUMFERENCE, AND NOT A TEN FOOT TALL DEITY!

Wow, Arceus gets awfully high pitched when he's angry.

And his anger energy is powerfull enough to....light up an entire galaxy instantly. Does anyone know of a good brian surgion, because I'm going to need one after face desking this many times as my desk is made out of metal and it hurts, a LOT.

FFS it takes light thousands of years to travel from one end of the galaxy to another, this is BULL SHIT!

And now we have rainbow coffins spinning around the sun (which looks like what we have been taught looks like the sun, as opposed to what it SHOULD look like, a giant sphere of light so bright that our eyes cannot process any other color but white), and the sun appears to emit rainbow geometric shapes of rainbowness everywhere. LOGIC! :D

Now we have big red flames going into a giant rocky desert and having pillars out out of the ground, I WAS right, this is just a pokemon themed LSD trip.

And this is suddenly the title WTF AM I WATCHING?!?!?