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I'm the individual formerly known as Pika Xreme, but you probably remember me best as a perpetually-angry (and nearly as horny) blend of untreated trauma and teenaged hormones.

Part of me is desperate to apologize to everyone here. Part of me wants to condemn all of you for taking over my childhood favorite subforums. All of me should have left a lot sooner than I did and never come back.

Here I am anyway. I never learn.

I returned here - as sparsely as I did - because I was at a crossroads in my life, and I wanted to see what it would be like to return. None of you had changed at all, and I had changed less than I would like.

I have only changed more since then. I wanted to return here for real, but I'm realizing I shouldn't bother.

I stood out because I was outwardly different from the rest of you. I cannot be convinced that I was meaningfully worse. I wouldn't go so far as to say that you deserved what I turned into, but most of you don't deserve yourselves.

Ultimately I was just one last dysfunctional asshat in a pile of them. I was just the one you felt comfortable laughing at, that's all.

I'd love to say that I hate you all, but in all honesty I mostly just pity you. Have fun being miserable, I guess - I know I didn't.

And for whatever it's worth - Depressed Bi, if by some miracle you're reading this... you weren't the worst person here either. You just happened to be my enemy, and while I'd hardly call what you did proportionate, that's just my perception. I absolutely did start it.

I just want the Pet Mods of my youth back.

That's probably too much to ask.

I'd love to hate this place and I hate loving it.