Ah you're a cult goer, eh? haha jk... or am I? lol
Just over a year ago, I was the happiest I've ever been (which isn't saying much, cuz I've had a depressing life). And then I lost everything in one fell swoop. I've been trying to pick up the pieces ever since. And so far, I've had just enough go right during the last year for me so that I could be pushed back down again with more failure.
But, all I can do is keep trying. I can't kill myself (cuz I'm not an idiot). So yeah.