An Article Submission

[Edacosis]

Hello, Smog editors,

I'd like to present my article idea to you. It focuses on one man's anecdotes pertaining to "Pokemon he hates to encounter in the midst of doing yard work."

I guess that it sounds odd in this introductory context, so I'll offer more details. The humor would be heavily reliant on the way in which the narrator talks about his unusual experiences with various Pokemon. For instance, the narrator could be talking about his annoyance with Pineco as he rakes his yard, and would say something like this:

"So, I'm minding my own business, raking leaves and whatnot (who likes a cluttered yard?), and I accidentally start to slap around this Pineco with my rake. Let me tell you, this thing gets angry, and it gets angry quickly. It turns to me, momentarily gives me that iconic "ruthless bagworm" look and promptly explodes, sending teal debris in more directions than I can count. Now, I like a good explosion now and again; I mean, I'm a huge Michael Bay fan. But when there's bagworm shrapnel lodged in my left quadriceps? That's not going to work for me."

Each entry would focus on a particular "annoying" feature of Pokemon (most likely a notable move it learns) that would somehow impede the progress of yard work. The narrator would then explain a specific instance, rife with detail, of an unlucky Pokemon encounter in his backyard.

I don't exactly know how receptive the editors of The Smog are to articles that sort of drift off into fictional territory. After looking through past issues, though, I can see that there are articles like "A Pokemon Parable" (Issue 15) that mix together Pokemon and fictional elements.

Ultimately, though, the article would be Pokemon-centric, and I guess that the whole "yard work" theme may be relevant to the season of fall.

I'm open to modifying the format a bit if the idea I presented isn't exactly what you're looking for.

Thanks for reading.

 

[Bummer]

I've been mulling over this topic. While it is true that this would be in the same vein as the article you referred to, it is not something we would have approved of today (#15 was a long time ago). For the most part, we need to be more strict with pitches for Entertainment articles since they're highly subjective and because many people apply for that category. You appear to be a good writer, but I don't think your chosen topic has enough solid ground to stand on. We've had themed articles before that have been written from the perspective of a narrator, but instead of an overview of all the potential gardening hazards in the world of Pokemon, this appears more to be a diary of yard encounters. Which, to be honest, is a setting that doesn't strike me as something many would find interesting or entertaining. So while we may have let through fictional stories / narrations before, we're now more strict about it and generally focus more on articles with a clear topic or theme.

So while I am on the fence about it, I'll take the safer route and not approve this pitch. I will leave this thread open for other staff members to object, or if you want to revise your application. With that said, I thank you for wanting to write for The Smog, and I hope you'll come up with other ideas in the future!

 

[Edacosis]

Thanks for your feedback. I do agree with you that one person's fictional accounts of Pokemon-based "gardening hazards" might not intrigue the reader base; it is centered around something awfully mundane. I went ahead and tried to pitch it anyway because I was finding the concept funny.

Anyway, I'd like to try something else, if you'd indulge me. I'd like to think the following concept has more footing to stand on than my previous pitch.

It would center around the idea of "keys to maximizing productivity" with the aid of one's Pokemon. My initial thoughts are that it would read slightly like an instruction manual of sorts. At its core, though, it would be a commentary on the strange nature of certain items (maybe other things, too) in Pokemon games.

For instance, parts of it would sound something like this:

"Your Pokemon, though dutiful, may grow tired upon carrying out its assigned task. Don't worry, this is probably normal. Simply pull out your Mart-brand Awakening™, give it a forceful shake, and spray it directly onto your snoozing pal, preferably in the eyes. Within seconds, your Pokemon will forget about its various biological needs and resume its unfinished business. Warning: Awakening™ may cause disease."

The idea of a "spray-based" awakening was amusing to me. Also, mail in Pokemon:

"Mailing things? A drag, to say the least. A productive trainer has no business wasting time at the post office, whose shameless promotion of frivolities like "stamps" is enough to cause an ulcer. In reality, using your Pokemon would probably suffice. It doesn't matter what species you're using, either; some would opt for the traditional route of Pidgey, but there's nothing stopping you from trying to balance your envelope atop a Voltorb. Watch the hilarity ensue as your spherical buddy drops your letter numerous times, after which it self-destructs in frustration. That's one for the scrapbook!"

I think this is a bit more coherent than my last idea. I'm not entirely sure, though.

 

[Bummer]

I think this is a bit more coherent than my last idea.

I think I agree. Gonna leave this thread open for others to leave their opinion, but I'd be fine with that topic. Here's some general advice we give all new writers:

1) Get your stuff done on time. If there's ever a situation that comes up, talk with The Smog Staff, and we'll make accommodations. The key here is communication; we need to hear from you if something is up that will prevent you from meeting the deadline. Try to get your stuff done in two weeks if possible, in order to give the GP/HTML/art team time to get everything done.

2) Don't leak any of our stuff until the release happens. This includes art and any other information. If you ever want feedback on your work or have questions, you can join us in #thesmog on IRC (if you don't have IRC, you can PM me or another staffer on the forums and I'll give you a link).

Thank you for your application! If you need any help, please don't hesitate to ask The Smog Staff.

I'll see to it that a supermod grants you access to the workshop in the meantime. Welcome aboard!