Animal Battle Royale

TheSnoom

TheSnoom

Around 1.2 million animals enter, only one leaves.
If every animal on earth engaged in a massive battle to the death, who would win? I guess we can separate them into more categories so it’s fair.
Land animals (includes birds)
Sea animals
And insects because they are outclassed by literally any land mammal.

My votes for the winner of each of the brackets are:
Either a hippo or a saltwater crocodile
Colossal Squid
Japanese Giant Hornet

My reasons for these choices are that a crocodile is absolutely vicious and easily outclass any other animal in terms of bore strength. However they are frequently killed by hippos so depends if the hippo dies first.
The colossal squid is an even match for a sperm whale, probably the deadliest whale by far, plus it’s just huge so easily beats sharks and stuff.
The Japanese Giant Hornet is easy, it is agile enough to put speed many big threats mainly tarantulas and beetles, and is big enough so that the things it can’t catch easily can’t hurt it very much.
I would like to hear your opinions on this dumb irrelevant topic.
 
Well, the biggest factor is the terrain. Is there food? Water? How is the “arena” situated? For example, crocodiles are woefully unprepared when not in the water, with the element of surprise on their side.

Regardless, I’d say the winner is going to be a more survivalist animal. Something like the tardigrade or the cockroach. While everyone else is killing each other, these guys are gonna just wait it all out.
 
OofTheQuagsire said:
Well, the biggest factor is the terrain. Is there food? Water? How is the “arena” situated? For example, crocodiles are woefully unprepared when not in the water, with the element of surprise on their side.

Regardless, I’d say the winner is going to be a more survivalist animal. Something like the tardigrade or the cockroach. While everyone else is killing each other, these guys are gonna just wait it all out.
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Sorry that I was unclear
We are disregarding an animals hunger and there will at least be a semi-large pond with a river for land animals that need it.
I see your point with the tardigrade, but contrary to popular belief, they suck at surviving anything but nuclear explosions. They are easily hunted by snails.... so I think they are out for the count if we even included microorganisms.
Cockroaches are a good pick but they lose in a 1v1. They have little to no defense mechanism besides being able to survive decapitation and a nuclear apocalypse. However there is a species of cockroach that might stand a little bit of a chance
The Megolablotta Longpennis
I’m not kidding that is the name of the large living cockroaches species. The name is very comedic, I know. But it’s just big and can kind of fly. So that might have a slight chance, but against something like a scorpion it doesn’t stand a chance.
 
Are we saying that it's one of each? Cause that just doesn't sound right for certain bugs, mainly the hive bugs so like ants, bees, etc.
 
I would probably go for a Hippo or a Nile Corcodile. Depends on size of the croco tho.
I think the marine mamals will be off on their own battle royal. Can't really have sperm whale on land lol
 
ThatOneSpork said:
Are we saying that it's one of each? Cause that just doesn't sound right for certain bugs, mainly the hive bugs so like ants, bees, etc.
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Yeah one of each. If it were an entire large anthill or large hive of killer bees or something, they would not only win the bug battle royale but probably the land animal battle royale as well. I know it’s not fair for them but it would be unfair for everyone else.
Chy3_14 said:
I would probably go for a Hippo or a Nile Corcodile. Depends on size of the croco tho.
I think the marine mamals will be off on their own battle royal. Can't really have sperm whale on land lol
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Yeah that’s what I said in the original post, sorry if I was unclear.
also after thinking a bit more I think either a blue whale or sperm whale would win the sea animal battle royale.
 
If we are allowing microorganisms my vote is the aquatic hydra due to it's longevity and ability regrow completely when cut.

Disallowing microorganisms we've known for years the ultimate winner is Mr Rogers in a bloodstained sweater.
 
Okay, then here are my bets. Assuming they all will actually try to fight, my bet for the water animal is the...
Blue Whale, as it is the largest of the water animals and only has one real predator, the Orca. However, they very rarely kill Blue Whales and always do it in packs. And while you may assume that it couldn't do anything to whatever attacks it, it is able to produce a maximum force of 60 Kilo Newtons, 13,489 Pounds of force. It only takes 364 pounds of force to crush a watermelon. So, crazily enough, a Blue Whale could crush a watermelon. Anyways, while not enough force to kill everything in the ocean, it is definitely enough to injure a lot of them.

Now, for land animal, I would like to nominate the...
Elephant, as it can really just step on anything small and stab anything big. It can also step on flat things, so like snakes and crocodiles. Honestly, the only thing I can see an Elephant struggling to kill is something like a Hippo, but I think an Elephant would win with the access to tusks. Other than Hippos, maybe a Polar Bear? In the end though, unless the Elephant gets hard targeted I think it would win.

Last and most definitely least, the bug king would be...
The Praying Mantis, as it can apparently kill Murder Hornets. It also would be great at just kinda camping and killing anything that gets too close. And with them getting up to... 6 inches long (holy shit) it can also kill other threats like spiders, but depending on how they meet, it could go either way. If a Praying Mantis can get the stealth attack on the spider it wins. Otherwise it just kinda loses. Though just thinking about how it would play out, I'd vote for the Mantis because it's religious and looks cooler.
 
ThatOneSpork said:
Now, for land animal, I would like to nominate the...
Elephant, as it can really just step on anything small and stab anything big. It can also step on flat things, so like snakes and crocodiles. Honestly, the only thing I can see an Elephant struggling to kill is something like a Hippo, but I think an Elephant would win with the access to tusks. Other than Hippos, maybe a Polar Bear? In the end though, unless the Elephant gets hard targeted I think it would win
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I see your elephant and I raise you one white rhino.
Rhinos are buff, fast, have really rough skin, and are very aggressive. Not even a lion can easily kill one.
And unfortunately I think it would be targeted as it’s pretty big. If it wasn’t I think it would probably win, but there’s a chance something like a snake gets a sneaky bite in and it dies.
 
TheSnoom said:
I see your elephant and I raise you one white rhino.
Rhinos are buff, fast, have really rough skin, and are very aggressive. Not even a lion can easily kill one.
And unfortunately I think it would be targeted as it’s pretty big. If it wasn’t I think it would probably win, but there’s a chance something like a snake gets a sneaky bite in and it dies.
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Sadly Rhinos are kinda dumb. The only thing they can really do is charge at things
 
Additional question: who’s winning the dinosaur battle royale??? My bet is on either the Ankylosaurus or the Allosaurus.

Edit: how did I forget about sauropods, those all have a great chance at it since they can’t be pack hunted.
 
ThatOneSpork said:
Okay, then here are my bets. Assuming they all will actually try to fight, my bet for the water animal is the...
Blue Whale, as it is the largest of the water animals and only has one real predator, the Orca. However, they very rarely kill Blue Whales and always do it in packs. And while you may assume that it couldn't do anything to whatever attacks it, it is able to produce a maximum force of 60 Kilo Newtons, 13,489 Pounds of force. It only takes 364 pounds of force to crush a watermelon. So, crazily enough, a Blue Whale could crush a watermelon. Anyways, while not enough force to kill everything in the ocean, it is definitely enough to injure a lot of them.
Click to expand...
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