After a long (long, long, long) wait, you return to the awards hall. As you take your seats with your friends, you hear excited murmuring from all around. Finally, the ASB Awards have been decided! When the muttering quiets down, you see the man in the cowboy hat on stage once again, and he begins to speak with very little delay. Curiously, the Snorlax is nowhere to be seen. Perhaps it’s napping somewhere.
“Welcome back everyone! The first ASB Awards has been a great success, and I hope you all enjoyed the discussion and voting process. The award races were generally quite competitive, interesting, and generated great discussion. Plus, they were fun! Now, what do you say we get started?”
The cowboy pulls out a large envelope that seems to hold the awards result. He clears his throat, glances up at him teleprompter, clears his throat again, and begins to speak.
“First up, we’ve got Best New Player! Let’s see who won this exciting award…”
Best New Player: ooraloo
“And the winner is ooraloo! This has been a fantastic year for new players in ASB, with both Exclaimer and jayy making strong cases to take home this award. It seemed that ASB’s resident mother was not to be denied, however, and with a resume including leadership of the Water gym and the responsibility of running the Starting ASB Program it’s hard to argue against her.”
“Now, let’s move on to Most Improved! You know, sometimes it amazes me this game has enough history to even have a most improved player.”
Most Improved: Mowtom
“Who?”
At this point, someone in the crowd yells out, “Starlord, man. Legendary outlaw?”
“Just kidding. Mowtom has risen from relative obscurity to become a force to be reckoned with, with a deep run in DYAE being a particular highlight. I don’t think anyone will be asking who this user is in the near future!”
“Next up, we’ve got Best Match. ASB is definitely a fun spectator sport, so let’s see what its community thought was the best clash of the year.”
Best Match: Birkal vs. YellowAdminSilver in LCT
“And the winner is the titanic clash between Birkal and YAS in LCT! This battle was surely one for the ages, and features some truly heroic performances by some truly unexpected Pokemon. Pity that this award wasn’t around during the first round of Best of the Best so Elevator Music vs. Stratos could win though.”
“Next up is Best Raider! This award should really be called Best Raiders, in all fairness. Raiding is a team activity, and no single user can really lay claim to being the best at raids.”
Best Raiders(s): dogfish44 and Maxim
“And Maxfish takes this award home! Some people thought Texfox deserved this award due to their inspirational (and slightly crazy) achievements this year, but arguing with Maxfish is surely a futile exercise. With the progress they’re currently making in Assault on Mount Coronet, they look to already be making a charge at the best raid team of 2017.”
“Coming next is Best TLR Player! TLRs are definitely a different sort of challenge from the rest of ASB, and they surely deserve their own award.”
Best TLR Player: zarator
“And ASB’s resident evil genius takes home this award! Zarator’s TLR runs are truly a sight to behold. He exhibits a degree of precise planning and preparation that is rarely seen in ASB, making him all but a lock for this award.”
“Now we’ve got Best Singles Player! This is definitely one of our most exciting awards; Singles is the premier battling format in ASB, so being crowned the best at it is quite an achievement.”
Best Singles Player: Birkal
“Was there ever any doubt? Birkal is simply a terrifying singles player when he’s on form and on time. His matchup control is impeccable and he writes some of the cleanest, most error-free orders in ASB. Caw.”
“Coming next is Best Doubles Player! Although not played quite as frequently as singles, doubles is still quite common in gyms, and featured prominently in this year’s Team Tournament II. Let’s see who was the best at it!”
Best Doubles Player: dogfish44
“Yep.”
“...do I really have to provide insightful commentary on this? Dogfish has dominated doubles for ASB’s entire lifespan, runs one of its most difficult gyms as doubles, and won the aforementioned Team Tournament II playing doubles. Makes sense?”
“As we near the end of our battling awards, let’s check out our Best Triples Player! Triples has always been a pretty rare format, but its inclusion in TT2 really gave it a chance to shine.”
Best Triples Player: Frosty
“ASB’s favorite snowman makes his first appearance, taking home the Best Triples Player award in style. Although he didn’t manage to take his team to victory in the Team Tournament, he looked very impressive during his team’s run. He also holds the distinction of having run the only triples gym in ASB history.”
“Last but not least, here comes the Best ASBer 2016 award! This award honors the ASBer who had the best year as a whole in 2016. Drumroll please…”
Best ASBer 2016: Birkal
“This guy again? I kid. Birkal had an incredibly impressive year, winning DYAE and making incredibly deep runs in everything else, while also running the most fun gym in ASB. Texas Cloverleaf also deserves mention for his impressive resume this year, including a win in LCT and plenty of other noteworthy accomplishments, but Birkal was not to be denied. Caw.”
“Now, let’s move on to the non-combat awards. First up, we’ve got Best Policy Contributor. Let’s see who helped shape ASB policy the most this year!”
Best Policy Contributor: Its_A_Random
“Hey guys, did you notice we implemented a new generation recently? I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t. IAR did most of it himself, and did it so well it barely made any noise.”
“Let’s move on to Best Ref! Refs are absolutely the lifeblood of ASB. No refs, no game. Let’s see who was the best!”
Best Ref: Toon
“Seems right to me. Toon refs more or less everything, and since he unanimously won this award he’s started reffing something like eight matches in the Gen VII tournament. I don’t think anyone is quite sure how he does it.”
“And now we’ve got Nicest User! Despite occasional flare-ups, it’s great to see that the ASB community is capable of putting aside its differences and choosing who we just freaking like the most.”
Nicest User: Toon
“And we chose Toon! This isn’t exactly surprising. Toon is always willing to ref a flash for you to help you raise that Pokemon you need for a tournament or gym, tags people to ask if they’re alright instead of calling DQ, and-most importantly-is always willing to be cuddled.”
“Next up we’ve got Biggest Rise in Fortunes! It’s always important to acknowledge the Pokemon that have made the most progress this year, even if they aren’t necessarily the best.”
Biggest Rise in Fortunes: Volkraken
“Volkraken is a fantastic candidate for this award, to be sure. Before this year, it was hardly known at all. Now, however, it’s well known as a popular threat that can fight evenly with almost any Pokemon, despite the nerf to Binding Band towards the end of this year.
“Now let’s take a look at Best John. Um...this award goes to the user who was the best...at johning? Let’s just get this over with, shall we…”
Best John: Stratos
“...you gotta be kidding me.”
Audible giggles are heard throughout the audience as this award is announced. You hear short snatches of conversation, and the overriding tone is more baffled than anything.
“...moving on. We’ve got a pair of Biggest Metagame Influence awards to give out. We’ll start with the User variant on this award; it’ll honor the user that most shaped the metagame of ASB this year.”
Biggest Metagame Influence (User): Frosty
“Frosty takes home his second award of the night, and what a deserved award it is. Remember how Volkraken won Biggest Rise in Fortunes? And the Binding Band nerf I mentioned earlier? Yeah, those were both entirely because of Frosty.”
“Now, let’s take a look at the Pokemon that had the biggest impact on ASB this year!”
Biggest Metagame Influence (Pokemon): Mega Gardevoir
“Seriously, who thought this thing was a good idea? It’s like a nuke, and also a tank, and it has Pixilate and Trace, and it’s the two best types in the game. This thing is ridiculous.”
“And I think that about wraps it up! Thank you all for coming to the awards ceremony for the 2016 ASB Awards, and have a good night! Please watch your step on the way out, and watch out for the wild Pokemon in the tall grass outside the awards building.”
You and your friends rise from your seats and begin to make your way out of the huge golden building. All around you you hear the buzz of excited conversation as everyone discusses their thoughts on the awards ceremony. The last thing you hear as you emerge from the building into the night is:
“Stratos? Really?”
“Welcome back everyone! The first ASB Awards has been a great success, and I hope you all enjoyed the discussion and voting process. The award races were generally quite competitive, interesting, and generated great discussion. Plus, they were fun! Now, what do you say we get started?”
The cowboy pulls out a large envelope that seems to hold the awards result. He clears his throat, glances up at him teleprompter, clears his throat again, and begins to speak.
“First up, we’ve got Best New Player! Let’s see who won this exciting award…”
Best New Player: ooraloo
“And the winner is ooraloo! This has been a fantastic year for new players in ASB, with both Exclaimer and jayy making strong cases to take home this award. It seemed that ASB’s resident mother was not to be denied, however, and with a resume including leadership of the Water gym and the responsibility of running the Starting ASB Program it’s hard to argue against her.”
“Now, let’s move on to Most Improved! You know, sometimes it amazes me this game has enough history to even have a most improved player.”
Most Improved: Mowtom
“Who?”
At this point, someone in the crowd yells out, “Starlord, man. Legendary outlaw?”
“Just kidding. Mowtom has risen from relative obscurity to become a force to be reckoned with, with a deep run in DYAE being a particular highlight. I don’t think anyone will be asking who this user is in the near future!”
“Next up, we’ve got Best Match. ASB is definitely a fun spectator sport, so let’s see what its community thought was the best clash of the year.”
Best Match: Birkal vs. YellowAdminSilver in LCT
“And the winner is the titanic clash between Birkal and YAS in LCT! This battle was surely one for the ages, and features some truly heroic performances by some truly unexpected Pokemon. Pity that this award wasn’t around during the first round of Best of the Best so Elevator Music vs. Stratos could win though.”
“Next up is Best Raider! This award should really be called Best Raiders, in all fairness. Raiding is a team activity, and no single user can really lay claim to being the best at raids.”
Best Raiders(s): dogfish44 and Maxim
“And Maxfish takes this award home! Some people thought Texfox deserved this award due to their inspirational (and slightly crazy) achievements this year, but arguing with Maxfish is surely a futile exercise. With the progress they’re currently making in Assault on Mount Coronet, they look to already be making a charge at the best raid team of 2017.”
“Coming next is Best TLR Player! TLRs are definitely a different sort of challenge from the rest of ASB, and they surely deserve their own award.”
Best TLR Player: zarator
“And ASB’s resident evil genius takes home this award! Zarator’s TLR runs are truly a sight to behold. He exhibits a degree of precise planning and preparation that is rarely seen in ASB, making him all but a lock for this award.”
“Now we’ve got Best Singles Player! This is definitely one of our most exciting awards; Singles is the premier battling format in ASB, so being crowned the best at it is quite an achievement.”
Best Singles Player: Birkal
“Was there ever any doubt? Birkal is simply a terrifying singles player when he’s on form and on time. His matchup control is impeccable and he writes some of the cleanest, most error-free orders in ASB. Caw.”
“Coming next is Best Doubles Player! Although not played quite as frequently as singles, doubles is still quite common in gyms, and featured prominently in this year’s Team Tournament II. Let’s see who was the best at it!”
Best Doubles Player: dogfish44
“Yep.”
“...do I really have to provide insightful commentary on this? Dogfish has dominated doubles for ASB’s entire lifespan, runs one of its most difficult gyms as doubles, and won the aforementioned Team Tournament II playing doubles. Makes sense?”
“As we near the end of our battling awards, let’s check out our Best Triples Player! Triples has always been a pretty rare format, but its inclusion in TT2 really gave it a chance to shine.”
Best Triples Player: Frosty
“ASB’s favorite snowman makes his first appearance, taking home the Best Triples Player award in style. Although he didn’t manage to take his team to victory in the Team Tournament, he looked very impressive during his team’s run. He also holds the distinction of having run the only triples gym in ASB history.”
“Last but not least, here comes the Best ASBer 2016 award! This award honors the ASBer who had the best year as a whole in 2016. Drumroll please…”
Best ASBer 2016: Birkal
“This guy again? I kid. Birkal had an incredibly impressive year, winning DYAE and making incredibly deep runs in everything else, while also running the most fun gym in ASB. Texas Cloverleaf also deserves mention for his impressive resume this year, including a win in LCT and plenty of other noteworthy accomplishments, but Birkal was not to be denied. Caw.”
“Now, let’s move on to the non-combat awards. First up, we’ve got Best Policy Contributor. Let’s see who helped shape ASB policy the most this year!”
Best Policy Contributor: Its_A_Random
“Hey guys, did you notice we implemented a new generation recently? I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t. IAR did most of it himself, and did it so well it barely made any noise.”
“Let’s move on to Best Ref! Refs are absolutely the lifeblood of ASB. No refs, no game. Let’s see who was the best!”
Best Ref: Toon
“Seems right to me. Toon refs more or less everything, and since he unanimously won this award he’s started reffing something like eight matches in the Gen VII tournament. I don’t think anyone is quite sure how he does it.”
“And now we’ve got Nicest User! Despite occasional flare-ups, it’s great to see that the ASB community is capable of putting aside its differences and choosing who we just freaking like the most.”
Nicest User: Toon
“And we chose Toon! This isn’t exactly surprising. Toon is always willing to ref a flash for you to help you raise that Pokemon you need for a tournament or gym, tags people to ask if they’re alright instead of calling DQ, and-most importantly-is always willing to be cuddled.”
“Next up we’ve got Biggest Rise in Fortunes! It’s always important to acknowledge the Pokemon that have made the most progress this year, even if they aren’t necessarily the best.”
Biggest Rise in Fortunes: Volkraken
“Volkraken is a fantastic candidate for this award, to be sure. Before this year, it was hardly known at all. Now, however, it’s well known as a popular threat that can fight evenly with almost any Pokemon, despite the nerf to Binding Band towards the end of this year.
“Now let’s take a look at Best John. Um...this award goes to the user who was the best...at johning? Let’s just get this over with, shall we…”
Best John: Stratos
“...you gotta be kidding me.”
Audible giggles are heard throughout the audience as this award is announced. You hear short snatches of conversation, and the overriding tone is more baffled than anything.
“...moving on. We’ve got a pair of Biggest Metagame Influence awards to give out. We’ll start with the User variant on this award; it’ll honor the user that most shaped the metagame of ASB this year.”
Biggest Metagame Influence (User): Frosty
“Frosty takes home his second award of the night, and what a deserved award it is. Remember how Volkraken won Biggest Rise in Fortunes? And the Binding Band nerf I mentioned earlier? Yeah, those were both entirely because of Frosty.”
“Now, let’s take a look at the Pokemon that had the biggest impact on ASB this year!”
Biggest Metagame Influence (Pokemon): Mega Gardevoir
“Seriously, who thought this thing was a good idea? It’s like a nuke, and also a tank, and it has Pixilate and Trace, and it’s the two best types in the game. This thing is ridiculous.”
“And I think that about wraps it up! Thank you all for coming to the awards ceremony for the 2016 ASB Awards, and have a good night! Please watch your step on the way out, and watch out for the wild Pokemon in the tall grass outside the awards building.”
You and your friends rise from your seats and begin to make your way out of the huge golden building. All around you you hear the buzz of excited conversation as everyone discusses their thoughts on the awards ceremony. The last thing you hear as you emerge from the building into the night is:
“Stratos? Really?”
