Do you like school, Smogon? For those of you who are in college or university, do you like it there? Why or why not?
How many dicks did people like Oglemi and Birkal have to suck to get onto the staff team? They're the sort of users who'd be better as greeters or bellhops than be on any administrative team, and it's easy to see why. Oglemi, for one, is an unfunny motherfucker who's somehow gotten it into his head that everybody loves him and his ~FABULOUS~ (btw im gay ;) ) posts, while in reality his "adoring fans" are just the badge-grubbing cocksuckers like him. "B-but teh gilded ladybug of d00m xD"? Fuck you and fuck your gilded ladybugs. He's one of the shittiest fucking posters I've seen on the internet, man, even fucking Shiruba and Mack the Knife are leagues above him in post quality. "Oh haha look at me doing the Smogon maymay faces 9.9 xDDDD btw i'm gay ;)"
It's okay to have shitty posters on a forum - it's inevitable, in fact. But if there's shitty staff it's entirely the administration's fault. New users always tend to emulate staff and if you have shitty staff you will have shitty users. Since ALL a new smogoner wants is badges, they will do exactly as the badged users do and if you badge subhuman (BAN ME PLEASE)s you are asking for subhuman (BAN ME PLEASE)s. Take a look at Birkal. Besides performing numerous sexual favours, Birkal ascended the Smogon ladder in record time by playing the "helpful, nice guy n_n" card. What the fuck does he do now except waste valuable kilobytes on the forum database? Birkal is also an astoundingly insincere motherfucker. I had the misfortune of talking to him once, and his sickly sweet manner of speech instantly reminded me of Ellsworth Toohey. Making sure my fly was zipped all the way, I told him that I had no badges to give and logged the fuck off IRC. The experience still makes me shudder.
It seems that the entire Smogon community is one big game of Badges: Gotta Have 'em All. The truth is nobody gives a flying fuck about contributions and corrections and sets and analyses. The only reason anyone ever contributes is because they want that extra inch on their e-penis they'll get by flaunting a fucking Christmas tree badge on their postbit. "Look at me, I contributed to the community!!" can just as easily translate as "I SUPPORT MORE TROOPS THEN U!!!!"
A forum seems to be the only place free of this nepotistic motherfucking malaise. Actually, I'm sure that's not true, but at least the mods of this forum have proved themselves to be good users before going on to be good mods. Everywhere else you just suck up to another mod in PS chat or #pokemon or some (BAN ME PLEASE)-ass splinter channel like #oglemis_bdsm_dungeon, and be "good at pokemon lol" and your Smogon path to success is set 4 u. It doesn't matter if you're a manchild or a furfag or a low-functioning autist. We have a disability quota on the Smogon staff list, don't we?
It's easy to tell which users shouldn't be promoted. Firstly, you have the flaming homosexuals with gif/non-gif avatar/signature combos (does this look like fucking bulbagarden to you?? (BAN ME PLEASE)s) and then you have the absolute downright auschwitz-tier jewniggerautists who bring their fucking unfunny inside jokes into a forum and shit up every thread with them. "XD OH YOU FURAIIIIIIIIII" or "JAJAJAJA TAURPS TAURPS SUPER TAURPS" anyone??????
The #pokemon crowd is cancer, no exceptions. God forbid (BAN ME PLEASE)s like Houndoomsday or Tehy or Darkaxis or fucking Rory get on the staff team. We already have anal-retentive 13 year olds (Molk) on the staff team, so the vacancy for that humourless archetype has clearly been filled. While we're at it we don't need more eternally-menstruating Glee-obsessed 16 year olds (Solace??), either. Seriously, are there any non-a-forum staff that are even remotely tolerable? I can only think of jumpluff and Deck Knight and billymills. At least the rest of them don't venture any closer to a forum but the ones who go "WOW, I'M SMOD!! THE WHOLE FORUMS IS UNDER MY DOMAIN!!" are the ones to watch out for because wherever they go they bring their shitposting cult with them.
I can already foresee the replies to this thread. There'll be the bunch of (BAN ME PLEASE)s who'll go "2/10 try harder xD", somebody will post a gif reaction (this isn't fucking 4chan?) and of course, there'll be the bunch who goes 'Wow King Buddha this wasn't as funny as I hoped it'd be!'. Your entertainment is not my concern, (BAN ME PLEASE)s.
tl;dr we need more Vaders, DMs and Glens and Hazeriders and Steelickses, not more humorless manchildren on the staff team.
How many dicks did people like Oglemi and Birkal have to suck to get onto the staff team? They're the sort of users who'd be better as greeters or bellhops than be on any administrative team, and it's easy to see why. Oglemi, for one, is an unfunny motherfucker who's somehow gotten it into his head that everybody loves him and his ~FABULOUS~ (btw im gay ;) ) posts, while in reality his "adoring fans" are just the badge-grubbing cocksuckers like him. "B-but teh gilded ladybug of d00m xD"? Fuck you and fuck your gilded ladybugs. He's one of the shittiest fucking posters I've seen on the internet, man, even fucking Shiruba and Mack the Knife are leagues above him in post quality. "Oh haha look at me doing the Smogon maymay faces 9.9 xDDDD btw i'm gay ;)"
It's okay to have shitty posters on a forum - it's inevitable, in fact. But if there's shitty staff it's entirely the administration's fault. New users always tend to emulate staff and if you have shitty staff you will have shitty users. Since ALL a new smogoner wants is badges, they will do exactly as the badged users do and if you badge subhuman (BAN ME PLEASE)s you are asking for subhuman (BAN ME PLEASE)s. Take a look at Birkal. Besides performing numerous sexual favours, Birkal ascended the Smogon ladder in record time by playing the "helpful, nice guy n_n" card. What the fuck does he do now except waste valuable kilobytes on the forum database? Birkal is also an astoundingly insincere motherfucker. I had the misfortune of talking to him once, and his sickly sweet manner of speech instantly reminded me of Ellsworth Toohey. Making sure my fly was zipped all the way, I told him that I had no badges to give and logged the fuck off IRC. The experience still makes me shudder.
It seems that the entire Smogon community is one big game of Badges: Gotta Have 'em All. The truth is nobody gives a flying fuck about contributions and corrections and sets and analyses. The only reason anyone ever contributes is because they want that extra inch on their e-penis they'll get by flaunting a fucking Christmas tree badge on their postbit. "Look at me, I contributed to the community!!" can just as easily translate as "I SUPPORT MORE TROOPS THEN U!!!!"
A forum seems to be the only place free of this nepotistic motherfucking malaise. Actually, I'm sure that's not true, but at least the mods of this forum have proved themselves to be good users before going on to be good mods. Everywhere else you just suck up to another mod in PS chat or #pokemon or some (BAN ME PLEASE)-ass splinter channel like #oglemis_bdsm_dungeon, and be "good at pokemon lol" and your Smogon path to success is set 4 u. It doesn't matter if you're a manchild or a furfag or a low-functioning autist. We have a disability quota on the Smogon staff list, don't we?
It's easy to tell which users shouldn't be promoted. Firstly, you have the flaming homosexuals with gif/non-gif avatar/signature combos (does this look like fucking bulbagarden to you?? (BAN ME PLEASE)s) and then you have the absolute downright auschwitz-tier jewniggerautists who bring their fucking unfunny inside jokes into a forum and shit up every thread with them. "XD OH YOU FURAIIIIIIIIII" or "JAJAJAJA TAURPS TAURPS SUPER TAURPS" anyone??????
The #pokemon crowd is cancer, no exceptions. God forbid (BAN ME PLEASE)s like Houndoomsday or Tehy or Darkaxis or fucking Rory get on the staff team. We already have anal-retentive 13 year olds (Molk) on the staff team, so the vacancy for that humourless archetype has clearly been filled. While we're at it we don't need more eternally-menstruating Glee-obsessed 16 year olds (Solace??), either. Seriously, are there any non-a-forum staff that are even remotely tolerable? I can only think of jumpluff and Deck Knight and billymills. At least the rest of them don't venture any closer to a forum but the ones who go "WOW, I'M SMOD!! THE WHOLE FORUMS IS UNDER MY DOMAIN!!" are the ones to watch out for because wherever they go they bring their shitposting cult with them.
I can already foresee the replies to this thread. There'll be the bunch of (BAN ME PLEASE)s who'll go "2/10 try harder xD", somebody will post a gif reaction (this isn't fucking 4chan?) and of course, there'll be the bunch who goes 'Wow King Buddha this wasn't as funny as I hoped it'd be!'. Your entertainment is not my concern, (BAN ME PLEASE)s.
tl;dr we need more Vaders, DMs and Glens and Hazeriders and Steelickses, not more humorless manchildren on the staff team.
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