Does anybody else really want kids?

Do you want kids

  • Total voters
    191
VKCA

VKCA

(Virtual Circus Kareoky Act)
(I was debating putting this in cong but it's basically just a poll that doesn't belong anywhere, so better firebot, feel free to move/delete)(I know how much the moderators value the input of the smogon posters, so I figured I'd give you permission to move/delete this thread in case you were unsure <3)

Anyways, question in the title... Obviously my friends are mostly my age and all like "yo fuck having kids dog that shit's expensive" but even given a theoretical financial security (like winning the lottery or something) all of them are still like "naw son I want to party/kids suck"
So yeah, I seem to be alone in my age group of really wanting to be a parent, and smogon is full of folk in my age group (although with the advent of new gen I imagine there's an influx of younger folk since that's what happened at the beginning of fifth gen iirc) so I figured I'd ask here. I can't afford them, but like, raising young just sounds so rad. I've felt this way for quite a while, it's sort of inspired by my cousin who had his kid five years ago (his wife is mega preggers right now so I'm sure another one'll be bustin out soon), and she's super rad(his daughter)(although his wife is rad too). He lives across the country so I've only seen her like five times, but damn kids are so fucking nice! My cousin/his wife are awesome human beings so it's really not a surprise that their kid is well behaved/not a raging douchebag, but damn I just really want to be paternal. I don't even care if it's my kid, I'm fine with adopting/marrying some girl who got knocked up by a sleezbag who bailed on her (I live in a crummy neighborhood, sooo many single mothers)


I don't know how to end this post, answer the poll!
 
VKCA said:
Anyways, question in the title... Obviously my friends are mostly my age and all like "yo fuck having kids dog that shit's expensive" but even given a theoretical financial security (like winning the lottery or something) all of them are still like "naw son I want to party/kids suck"
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I think it's normal that students and young people in general think that way... I mean our society is telling us all the time that the only important thing is to have fun, and well, that's what everybody thinks about. Why would you even think about having kids if you don't even want a 'stable' relationship?

It's also true that the birth rate has decreased a lot over the last ~20 years, so it's obvious that due to both economical and cultural reasons the number of people that want to have a kid has lowered but I just think that when people grow older and start looking for things that aren't 'party all day long' they also change their minds about having a kid or not.
 
I've just turned 37, my wife is about to turn 36 and we have no kids. We've been through a lot of ups and downs on that front, because we both like kids. But kids that you can hand back to your friends and family at the end of the day and then go home are very different to kids that you have to look after 24/7 for a fair old chunk of your life. So we never got to the point where we decided that we wanted them enough, and now I don't think we ever will. That makes me equal parts sad and relieved, frankly. No, tell a lie -- it makes me mostly relieved and a little bit sad.
 
DestinyUnknown said:
I think it's normal that students and young people in general think that way... I mean our society is telling us all the time that the only important thing is to have fun, and well, that's what everybody thinks about. Why would you even think about having kids if you don't even want a 'stable' relationship?

It's also true that the birth rate has decreased a lot over the last ~20 years, so it's obvious that due to both economical and cultural reasons the number of people that want to have a kid has lowered but I just think that when people grow older and start looking for things that aren't 'party all day long' they also change their minds about having a kid or not.
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yeah idk, I just envy my grand parents I guess. Both my pa/maternal gps had kids at 20, but I mean obviously both my parent's childhood homes were gigantic and like,, $30000, not half a million like they would be now days.... + both my grandfathers graduating from highschool and getting twenty five grand (in the fifties) a year with no prior training...

not so feasible in our current economic environment. I mean, I'm in the process of blowing 80k on schooling, in the hopes that once I graduate I'll be able to find a job that pays me something over 40k, then maybe I can find a bitch and knock'er up
fuckme
 
Kids are indeed great, but given how I for the most part only see the bright side of it (ie not having to wake up in the middle of the night to calm them etc), I certainly wonder how I would be when I had all of the responsibility associated with raising a child. They're cute and can be a great source of joy, but also requires a lot of patience and endurance out of you. But if I'm one day faced with the question of having one, I suppose I'd lean towards yes. This particular SMBC strip certainly nails one of my reasons.
 
Bummer said:
Kids are indeed great, but given how I for the most part only see the bright side of it (ie not having to wake up in the middle of the night to calm them etc), I certainly wonder how I would be when I had all of the responsibility associated with raising a child. They're cute and can be a great source of joy, but also requires a lot of patience and endurance out of you. But if I'm one day faced with the question of having one, I suppose I'd lean towards yes. This particular SMBC strip certainly nails one of my reasons.
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guess the poll should be "...by the time your twenty" or "...right now" or something, I guess most want them eventually.

also yeah, it's super easy to romanticize the whole idea when you're not the one actually raising them, I mean, fuck, my mom jumped in front of a train when i was one and a half because I never let her sleep (+ bipolar/manic and postpartum). rose tinted glasses and all that

edit just read that smbc, I assumed I had already read it before posting; had not; super cute
 
Jeez, dude. That's a lot to take.

The sleep I can cope with. The responsibility for not fucking up somebody else's whole life is another matter. The way we raise small children sets their whole pattern of future emotional states. That's a lot to take on board.
 
kabbes said:
The responsibility for not fucking up somebody else's whole life is another matter. The way we raise small children sets their whole pattern of future emotional states. That's a lot to take on board.
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yeah, that jon stewart quote, ~ "raising children is the only oportunity you have to ruin someone's life from the beginning"
edit, this article assures me that the quote is “Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.”


I'm very self assured, so that's not something I'd be super worried about, I'd probably want to home school my kids (again, in a perfect world where I've got +10mill) to assure their education

more edit, even more unrelated
cat151.jpg
 
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I really don't want any kids, but everyone I say that to tells me that I'll change my mind when I get older so...maybe I will? I dunno, really.

My main concern with raising a child is that I'd well...fail. I agree with what kabbes is saying. Raising a child seems like a lot of work and you don't exactly get any practice tries. So many kids grow up to be punks, even ones that were good in their younger years, and I have zero experience raising a child so why should I believe that I'd be able to do any better? Outside influences are definitely a factor in that, but it seems hard to prevent your kids from being negatively influenced by them without keeping them too sheltered.
 
kabbes said:
You should be worried about it. If you aren't worried about it, you aren't ready to do it.
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What if my paranoia about fucking up my children fucks up my children?

if this thread screams anything, it's naivety, obviously, not having children is mega screwing my perspective on raising children. I can see mattj post in the photo thread with "me and my family went rafting today/hiking in the woods today/fishing today/etc" and be like, damn, I want to do that.
but practicality isn't quite what this thread is about, it's more just wondering if I'm alone in wanting kids at the age of 20

I'm a virgin for christ's sake, I wouldn't worry about me ruining any lives for a bit yet
 
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WHOA FUZZNIP IS HERE!~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! nigga when did you come back???
 
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Hulavuta said:
I really don't want any kids, but everyone I say that to tells me that I'll change my mind when I get older so...maybe I will? I dunno, really.

My main concern with raising a child is that I'd well...fail. I agree with what kabbes is saying. Raising a child seems like a lot of work and you don't exactly get any practice tries. So many kids grow up to be punks, even ones that were good in their younger years, and I have zero experience raising a child so why should I believe that I'd be able to do any better? Outside influences are definitely a factor in that, but it seems hard to prevent your kids from being negatively influenced by them without keeping them too sheltered.
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Do me one favour. Don't believe the well-wishers who insist that you will change your mind. My wife has never really wanted them, but always believed that she should want them, and that social pressure has caused her far more mental anguish than her actual wants.

There is nothing wrong with not wanting kids. There is nothing wrong with wanting kids either, but there is nothing wrong with being willing to leave it to those who do actually want to do it.
 
kabbes said:
Do me one favour. Don't believe the well-wishers who insist that you will change your mind. My wife has never really wanted them, but always believed that she should want them, and that social pressure has caused her far more mental anguish than her actual wants.

There is nothing wrong with not wanting kids. There is nothing wrong with wanting kids either, but there is nothing wrong with being willing to leave it to those who do actually want to do it.
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yeah we're certainly not lacking for children in this world
 
Yeah I'm sort of in kabbes' position, I'm 38 (as of today, woo), been together with my boyfriend for nearly 20 years and we've opted to never have kids. Obviously being in a homogaysexual relationship makes the whole spawning thing a little more complex, but it's something I just can't see myself doing. I get INCREDIBLY worn out taking care of 2 of my cousins 3 kids when they stay overnight to allow their parents to have one night off having to take care of them, they're a fucking huge handful and despite seemingly being "raised right", they're still shitlords (though generally they're less awful when apart). Taking care of these kids and others has only solidified my position of not wanting any of my own (I also don't really like kids in general) and it's basically done the same for my boyfriend who loves kids.

Kind of wish I didn't still have idiots telling me that I'll change my mind. I'm pretty much middle aged by now. Don't even want to imagine what straight women who don't want to spawn have to deal with by comparison.
 
I always imagined myself the type of dad that's shown in this picture:

I-Will-Find-You-And-I-Will-Kill-You-Liam-Neeson-In-Taken.gif


Seriously though I want kids so I can be overprotective about them and stuff. I already know I will love them to death.
 
I'd like two, either a little boy and girl or just two girls. I couldn't imagine raising two little Faint Jr's.
 
girl/boy imba, pls nerf god (for real tho if I adopt, that's plan a, I was a sibling to a sister and I think we both turned out spectacularely)

kabbes said:
Happy birthday, dude. December kids are the best :)
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In my last year of highschool my calc teacher had something to say about this; that was both true in that particular class, and that I've found to be true in many facets, not just school. December/fall babies are very polarized between girls and boys. The girls are super hard workers (emily ng and faiha farez were the two best students in my year, both girls, both dec babies)(my sister just graduated from the second best uni in the country, she's a christmas baby) dec/fall boys are slacker as fuck, (read: me just barely got into the 'worst' engin program in the country ("worse" is a relative term, if you're not going to uoft or mcgill end they're (canadian universities) basically all the same), karl wang (my school's treasurer, super smart kid, such a loaft))
so yeah, fem dec babies are rad, boys suck
 
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I'm a December boy. I went to Cambridge university to do maths and now have a job at the top of a multi-billion dollar company. What would your calc teacher say about that?
 
I turn 20 in two days, the idea has crossed my mind a few times basically as a "lol what if?" sort of thing and I pat myself on the back thinking of all the amazing things in the world I could show a child. That's really as far as I get because, well, I'm fucking 20. I can barely handle the responsibilities of college (don't look down on me I'm sure a lot of you fuckers are looking at this post instead of studying for finals) so what will make me think I can handle a child that screams, shits, and vomits every few hours?
 
Hopefully not. Though my opinion could change in the future, I'm thinking no - for a few reasons.

1) Agreeing with the above, I don't think I can really handle the idea of [probably] screwing up someone's life or way of thinking. Though I've no particular religion to indoctrinate someone into, I'm sure that some other constrictive way of thinking could potentially leak onto them. I can tend to joke too much; teasing people and hurting them without even realizing it. I try not to associate with people that much for exactly this reason; I tend to mess up really badly, and then I make them feel bad - having some kid to constantly do that to would suck. I'd like to think that I try to be kind and generous, though.

2) It's a roadblock that I don't want. While I'm not particularly ambitious, I want the option to be great, as I'm quite in love with having options, and having a kid to constantly weigh you down both emotionally, physically, and monetarily would suck eggs and greatly limit those options. Christopher Walken partially attributes his success as a great performer due to his childlessness, and the lack of obligation that goes along with it, and it makes sense that not constantly shelling out time and cash for someone would mean that you get to contribute to society in a way that's more to your liking. Parenthood is extremely stressful and takes a long time to be "done" - it might never end, either. What if your kid's a cellar dweller? I don't know if I could work up the guts to tell them to get a job, I'm too soft-hearted. Maybe.

3) Kids are assholes. Seriously. I am one. First off, they constantly scream and cry during the night, and then I have to feed them constantly and probably have to miss work. Uncool. They also crap themselves constantly and they puke on you and spit out the food that you bought them, and it's not like you really want the carrot paste. Then they're always getting into everything and slobbering on your collection of Pokemon games and breaking the china set that you got from your mother on your wedding day, shortly before she passed away. You can't even really scold them or punish them in any way because they're too stupid little to understand. [protip - teach the kid sign language. they can understand more than you think, they simply can't articulate it, and with signing, they can tell you what they want more accurately instead of screaming for an hour while you exhaust every possible answer]
Then, they get older and more craftily get into your stuff, and scream at you when you won't buy them that new toy, or when they have to go to bed, or when they have to take a bath, or when they can't play their video games because they're constantly beating up that one kid at daycare. Lots of screaming. Lots of crying. No bueno.
Fast forward and they just hate you in general. You don't understand me, you're so old-fashioned, you're so mean, why can't I wear revealing outfits then go to a club with beer and brownies, you don't let me borrow your car, etc. They're exceptionally stupid and do stupid things and when you try to protect them, they yell at you, and if you don't protect them, they end up raped or dead or maimed or in huge debt or just blaming you.
After that, they might reconcile with you [assuming it's not too late], but just as many won't, especially as kids get more and more entitled.

4) My prospect does not appear to want them, either. Self-explanatory.

5) Too many people in the world. Seriously. There are so many people out there starving and dying from hunger and malnutrition every day, and we use our likely shitty genes to make more fat first-world kids, especially when so many kids are in foster homes these days? Not to mention that we are seriously running out of energy sources, and the CO2 emissions are through the roof. The last thing I want to do is add to the problem. Seeing those kids with ribs and hipbones sticking out of them like they belong in a museum, or kids rotting in a foster home because nobody wants them [I've met some people from foster homes, they're no bueno, though it's anecdotal evidence, true]. I'd feel terrible making more kids when there's one in a foster home somewhere that just wants a good family more than anything. As for not appreciating you and wanting to find their "real" parents [imo the real parents are the ones that raised you, but I digress], well, like I said, teenagers hate you regardless. It just takes a different form in this case.
 
Im not really sure yet but I'm leaning slightly on the having kids side. Im only 21 and in college so having kids is not one of my short term goals. Still have plenty of time to think about it but it is definitely a huge decision when the time comes.
 
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