egg ritual

MAMP

MAMP

MAMP!
is a Metagame Resource Contributor Alumnus
on the ground floor of my friend joe's apartment complex there is a big ceramic egg sculpture and whenever i go to visit him or whenever i leave i slap the egg and it makes a loud hollow sound. the other day someone was walking out as i came in and he saw me slap the egg and he was like "oh, you're the guy who slaps the egg!" like he was meeting a celebrity
 
whenever i work night shifts in the summer and get to see the moon at like 5 or 6 am i like to imagine it as a big egg that will one day crack open and feast on earth's lifeforms like an invasive parasitoid left here long ago by an unknown mother

while thinking this i crane my neck and stay focused on the egg and transmit my thoughts "OBEY THE MOON" over and over so i might be spared

egg ritual
 
I have a different kind of egg ritual: whenever I make hard boiled eggs I cook them for 11 minutes, and chill them for 5 minutes in ice water. I randomly chose those times years ago and have stuck to them since.

If I had a ceramic egg though I'd def slap it after I finished the hard boiled eggs though!

Oh one more thing, nothing beats the egg "ritual" I once did when I was about 2 years old! I crawled to the open fridge, got on a chair, started yelling "BALL! BALL!", and started throwing the eggs at my mom expecting her to catch them. Instead they exploded on her lmao. She says I still owe her a dozen eggs!
 
When I was a campus tour guide and we would pass through the library, there was a bust of one of the early professors and I would always rub his nose for good luck. Families would ask me if this was some kind of long-standing tradition and I wanted to say yes but really it was just something my friend David did once that I picked up on.

That dude’s nose is my egg
 
Years ago, before i got the V-cut abs and the muscles, basically right after my weight loss phase, i decided to start a new tradition/ritual of drinking a glass of 4 to 8 cracked eggs every morning. Raw.

It only lasted for about half a week because that shit tasted so bad. Like, Hollywood and movies glamorized drinking raw eggs but its so bad

tumblr_n2d6wtAaRF1qggr22o4_250.gif
 
Ninahaza said:
Years ago, before i got the V-cut abs and the muscles, basically right after my weight loss phase, i decided to start a new tradition/ritual of drinking a glass of 4 to 8 cracked eggs every morning. Raw.

It only lasted for about half a week because that shit tasted so bad. Like, Hollywood and movies glamorized drinking raw eggs but its so bad

View attachment 358272
Click to expand...

Ninahaza would you be able to post a photo of yourself from today w today's newspaper or w/e the 2021 equivalent of that is [not a joke]
 
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OBEY THE MOON
OBEY THE MOON
OBEY THE MOON
OBEY THE MOON
OBEY THE MOON
OBEY THE MOON
OBEY THE MOON
OBEY THE MOON
O̵B̵E̵Y̴ ̵T̶H̸E̸ ̷M̶O̵O̵N̴
Ȏ̵̻B̸̲̎E̸̯͊Ÿ̷̘́ ̵̜͐T̵̡͝Ȟ̴̠E̶̢̕ ̷̭͆Ṃ̶́Ö̸͔Ó̷͇N̷̳̓
Ȯ̴̙͝B̵̝͙̎͝Ȩ̴̕Y̴̺͓̔ ̶̣̔T̶͉́͠H̶̠̪̆Ę̴͙͘ ̷̛̮M̵̤͓̋̀O̶̟̔Ô̴̝͈N̶̥͉̐̓
O̸̺͂̀̉ͅB̶̧̠̮̈̆̚Ë̶̜̼͒̕ͅY̸̩̳̤̔ ̷̟̮͑̅T̴̩̭̩̍͂̈H̴̠̝͈̆͗E̵̞͛͋̕ ̶̧̹͋͝M̵̛̮̌̕O̶̠̓̑͘Ó̴͍N̶̥̈
O̸͚̠̞̫͑͒̅̉B̵̢̼̣̀̎͛͘͝E̶͔͓̓̔̈͆͝Y̷̛̪̯̍̎͘͝ ̸̭̮͕̩͔̘͆̿̀̚T̸͇̹͇̣̤̀Ḩ̴̤͐͝Ë̸͎͕ ̵̧͔̯͐̅̂͜M̶͉̟̈́̄̈́̓̔͘Ơ̸̛̼̝̜̓͗̍̀O̴̖̼̘͕̝̼̍̓̑̌̌Ń̵̖͝
Ò̷̠̳̺̕B̵̧̦͎̠̲̍̚E̷̻͈̮͙͍͍͊̋̓Y̵̦̟̥̑ ̵̗̳͇̈̌͐͜T̸͉͎̩̻͉͛̀Ȟ̶͈͌͠Ę̸̩͚̮̬̯́ ̶͓͉͓̯̊M̶̼̈́O̷̠̼͈͍̲͒̿̀͗͋͐Ō̸̜̗͝N̵̦̓̂͘
Õ̶̩̙͕̔̎̑̓̉̑͗Ḃ̵̠̹̖̟͐̒͑͊͂̐͝E̵̛̗͚͙̖͇̫̮͎͊̈́̀̋Y̴͚̅ ̷̢̗͕̯͚̭͆̅͛̆̋͝͠ͅṮ̷̡̮̌̀̈́͝H̴̢̱͍̹̏̀͛͂͗̀͒́Ẹ̸̘͉͎̜̩̍͐̔̉͘͝ ̴̱͈̀̀̚M̷̖̗̹̊̇͘O̷̲̩̙͕͔͙̬̔̎̂͘͝Ö̵͇̖͍̓N̴͉̺̻̘̏̓̊̒͜
Ȏ̴̜̥̲̥̽B̷̢̨̧̬̫̜̗̐́̋̎̊̆̽͛͋͜ͅÈ̸͈Y̵̨̰̝̱͕̽͐́͊̃̾͆̽ ̷͖̯͇͎͚̭̝͓͉͂́̇͛̓T̷͉̘͈͒H̷̨͎̫̪̿̏̄E̵͕̩̩̒̆͒͂ ̵͙̔̈́̿̕Ṃ̷̛̜̬̂̿͒͑̅͝O̴̲̹̫̣̓͌̈́̿͂̄͘͜͝Ó̵̭̟͍̳͕̑N̴̡̡̻͙͙͉̭̱̭̏̏̊͌̅̊̇͆̕
O̴̮̤̖̯̎͐̇̐̉̾̽̕͠B̵̡͍̖͛̆̔̔̕Ė̶̺͍̇̐̈̽̏̃́͘͘Y̸̨̜̬̖͉̬͔͖̩̳͆ ̴̖͌͛̓̔̿̈́̔̍̕T̷̡͓̝̺̦̰̞̼̒̈́̿͜H̸͇̟̲̟̻͓̯́̒̽̿͒̎̚͠E̷̢̨̧͚͚͎̯̣͑͊͂̔̓̈́͗̈́͆͝ ̷̠̭͍̝͇̻̹̄̈̀̆͊̏̇͠M̶̧̭̗̝̺͍̫̻̅͌́̇͑͆͐̽̈́O̸͙̠̥͒̅O̴̻͙̐̒̂̄̋́̍͘Ṅ̷̦̯͓̹̈́̀͛̄͋͊̅̾͜͝ͅ
O̴̰͉̺͍͈̾̈̈́̅̑̔͘͘͝B̶͙̳̳̦̼̼̽̆̅̑̓̆̈́͒̊͛Ĕ̶̙̪̭̬̠̞̰̤̪̊̓ͅY̵̙͕͔̫̭̞̘͆̋͌̇͗͛̀̈̑̏͛͜ ̴̛͎͗̀̀͜͝T̸̢̯̱̦͍̤̯̹̠̀̈́͊̀̑͒̑̔͋͠Ḣ̸̨̡̨̡̜̼̓̅E̷͕͐̍̾̏̓͝ ̴̨̠̯͍̗̞͔̳͇̞̻̒̀̋͆̄̒̍̌̚͝M̴̰̞̝̫̹̳͚̘̃͛̉̋̑͑͋̎ͅÕ̸̯̹͇̜̠̹͕̀́́̕͘͜Ơ̸̭̼̣̩̹̯̪͍̈́̿͛̓Ṋ̵̹͙̩̒̎̏̌̉
O̶͍̬̹̥̝̰̓͑͠B̶̛̠̤͎̗̻̟͖͚̭̼̦́̎͌̍̇̓̀̐̐̕ͅĖ̵͎̌̓̊Ÿ̴̧͔̟̼́̇̽ ̸͓̻̘̩̙̰̬̲̃̓̾͒͐̚͠T̸̙́̅H̴̡͈̤̲͕͔̝̻͎̦̉͘Ę̸̼̮̙̤͎̜͐̋ ̴̤͎̲͓̱͔̞̞̪͕̺͓̈́̓͑̔͝M̷̡̤͙͒͗͊͘Ǫ̷͓͉̰̼̹̠̠̖̪̽̈́̏͆̀̏̃̽̇͜͠Ö̴̧̟͖̜̜̤͚̘͙́̅͗̈́̆̚͝͝Ņ̴̰̳͙̣̦͇̩͒̓̈́̀̌̉
O̵̯̭͆͆́̏̾͆̇B̴̨͖̫͖̰̻̾̒̐́̈͗̀͌̏͜͝ͅĘ̴̞͕̹̟͈̥̬͓͉̩̬̏̅́̐̉̌͠ͅY̶̮͆̈́̏̎̒͘ ̷̰̮͂͝Ț̷̡̛͂̽̎͆̓̽͒͂H̸̤͇͙̘̮̯̙̬̳̖͕͆̓̒́̚Ȩ̷͔̠̰͙́̏͆̿̂̾͌ ̵̞̭̭̝̤̞̟̗̘̣́̌̈́M̴͇̩͕̗͖̹͉̦͖̣̯̭̽̽̆̔̄́̀̚ͅǑ̵̡͓̪̖̤̰̤͓͕̻̓̍̅̕͝ͅO̴̰͕̯̥͓̩̻̹̹̗̩͛̀͌̋̑̏͜N̶̡͚͔͖͎̱̐̋̀̏͠
Ơ̶̡̺̼̜̼̮̲͒B̵̧͕̖̺̰̝̭̥̻̒͗̾̀̈́̌̒͊̋̓̍Ȩ̷͖̬̬͕̙̫̪̹͍̣̓̀̋͐̓͑̎͌̓͜ͅͅŸ̸̡͎̣̟͕̥̜̫̫̈́̂͐̍͆͐͜ͅ ̶̡̡̝̫̗̳̆͂̔̈́̈́̽̈́̂̑̚T̴͎̞̜͔́͐͒͛̑̋͌̾͜ͅH̷̘͆̇͐̾̽̚͠ͅĘ̷̟̦̜͎̜̹̪̼̙̭͉̀͒̂̐̿́̍ ̷̢̧̛͐͝M̸̖̉̍̊͗̓̐̎͒ͅǪ̴͈̯̘̜͈̦̥̙͇͍̅͋̎̽́̋̆̊̍̅͜͜ͅO̸̳̞͕̲͎͕̜̼̲̠̻̦̮͒̂͊͑͗̓͜͝Ņ̶̡͚̹̙̭͈̼͐͐̆́̀͠ͅͅ
 
az said:
Ninahaza would you be able to post a photo of yourself from today w today's newspaper or w/e the 2021 equivalent of that is [not a joke]
Click to expand...
Sure, but i'll have to make a thread out of it, if you SSSSSSMMMMMMEEEELLLLLLLLLLLL

20210713_235202.jpg


LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. WHAT THE ROCK Ninahaza, is, cooking.

No but really, sure man. I'll just have to find a creative way to make a thread out of it.

In the meantime, below is one of the last, most up to date shirtless pictures i posted on this site.

20210713_235132.jpg


I was a little pudgy...er in that one compared to the shirtless pic i posted in your smogoff photo album. It aint fudgy being pudgy.
(+2 pics of me in this post already)
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Hey um, i noticed that a mod edited my last post, removing the phrase "Mr big muscle pussy slayer" from it. I am certainly no pussy slayer, and my muscles aren't big in comparison to my bodybuilder idols. Massive blokes.

I didn't ask for that title, it was merely bestowed upon me. I will drop it into a post every now and again, however, and i just want to make sure everything is ok.

Thanks.
- Ninahaza Mr Big Muscle Pussy Slayer
xoxo
 
Ninahaza said:
Hey um, i noticed that a mod edited my last post, removing the phrase "Mr big muscle pussy slayer" from it. I am certainly no pussy slayer, and my muscles aren't big in comparison to my bodybuilder idols. Massive blokes.

I didn't ask for that title, it was merely bestowed upon me. I will drop it into a post every now and again, however, and i just want to make sure everything is ok.

Thanks.
- Ninahaza Mr Big Muscle Pussy Slayer
xoxo
Click to expand...
i got misogy vibes so thank u for the clarification

i choose the way of peace every day, so i hope we can walk away from this as allies instead of rivals
 
an update: i have moved into the apartment complex with the egg in the lobby, and i no longer slap the egg when i leave or come back. the egg occupied a liminal space, the lobby of a friends apartment building, and slapping it was how i marked my passage through that space. it delineated a special place from the outside world. this apartment is no longer a special place: it’s just home. the lobby is just a part of where i live, and the egg has lost its wonder. in a way, it’s become more meaningful to me than before. but i miss the ritual.
 
^I recommend reading the above post for the first time at 2:45 AM while listening to the song “This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody)” by Talking Heads for the best experience

Could just be the time of night/the song but I’m feeling very wistful and nostalgic now. Like there’s a part of me deep down that hurts thinking about the past but knows that the passing of time will heal the wound, I just have to get to that point. The egg could represent something exciting and new that brings you joy every time you experience it, but the joy fades once you become close. Is this what couples who have lost “the spark” go through? Sure, the egg is closer than ever before but it doesn’t bring the same satisfaction that it once did. Idk why this is affecting me so much emotionally but it’s really making me think and reflect.

MAMP you have earned one posting point.

No one post the “may I offer you an egg in this trying time?” GIF by the way, MAMP has already given me enough egg with this post
 
now that you've stopped slapping it future tenants have been deprived of the chance the meet "the guy who slaps the egg!"

seldom do we think about how the passage of time seizes opportunities from others, just as it seizes opportunity from us
 
must you deprive the egg the delight of your slaps just because they no longer mark a special place in space & time for you?

is it not senseless LOSS to deprive yourself of this pleasure only because you can now indulge yourself and overflow with the sound of that ceramic SLAP whenever you want??

i bet the egg misses you MAMP. stop this fighting--follow your heart (and your hand)
 
Went to see Pete & Bas (76 year old UK Drill/Grime duo) on the weekend

Bas has fans get up on stage and down a 'Bas Bomb', which is a raw egg in a pint of Heineken.

The audience then votes for the winner.

This is the new egg ritual.
 
Raven said:
Went to see Pete & Bas (76 year old UK Drill/Grime duo) on the weekend

Bas has fans get up on stage and down a 'Bas Bomb', which is a raw egg in a pint of Heineken.

The audience then votes for the winner.

This is the new egg ritual.
Click to expand...

I’ve actually been listening to these guys by pure coincidence, just because the joke is still funny to me and the hits are actually quite good.

Is it actually legit from seeing them live? A lot of people don’t think it’s Bas’ real voice and they just use loud backing tracks to disguise it. I personally am 100% sure they have a writing team but I like to think it’s actually them rapping. Just curious.
 
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