Groundium Z Onix (QC 0/1) (GP 0/1)

[Deleted User [433215]]

Onix @ Groundium Z
Ability: Weak Armor
Level: 5
EVs: 76 HP / 236 Atk / 196 Spe
Jolly / Adamant Nature
- Stealth Rock
- Protect / Curse
- Earthquake
- Rock Blast

Onix makes a good defensive Stealth Rock setter in LC thanks to its ability to check Flying-types that also has good offensive utility with its nearly unresisted STAB backed by high Base Power on its moves. Groundium Z with Earthquake allows Onix to lure and potentially KO Pokemon expecting the more common Eviolite set like Eviolite Frillish and Snubull. This set also has the ability to eliminate common entry hazard removers like Vullaby, which allows Onix to keep Stealth Rock up consistently and in turn, support its teammates well. Due to the utility this set brings in luring and disposing of bulky threats, Pokemon that take advantage of these threats being lured make for great partners. Gastly and Eviolite Mienfoo like the fact Onix can keep Stealth Rock up well and potentially eliminate their checks like Vullaby and Snubull, the latter with Groundium Z, which makes them very difficult to handle defensively. Potential Choice Scarf users like Snivy and Gastly enjoy this support as well and have a good matchup against more offensive teams.

 

[Deleted User [433215]]

This is ready to be QCd

 

[Coconut]

offensive Stealth Rock setter in LC thanks to its nearly unresisted STAB backed by high Base Power on its moves.

Onix is mainly used as a defensive option to handle Flying Types. This set is unique because it catches people off-guard by being more offensive.

expecting the more common Berry Juice and Eviolite sets like Ferroseed, Mienfoo, and Staryu if Onix is running Curse.

The Berry Juice set isn't as common anymore but I suppose it can stay. Regardless this is poorly worded. Staryu generally beats Onix unless it gets the Speed Boost, the +1 attack is nice, but doesn't really benefit too much, as EQ + ZEQ kills anyway.

This set also has the ability to eliminate common entry hazard removers like the aforementioned Staryu and Vullaby

Staryu wins this matchup 100% of the time if you set rocks as it comes in.

Pokemon like Abra and Vullaby

Vullaby is the main thing that Onix removes.
Abra has the potential to beat Vullaby regardless of the situation, due to it's ability to run Focus Sash Counter or LO DGleam. There's a reason I suggested Gastly; who has a significantly harder time removing Vullaby, as it has to run Thunderbolt coverage which it often cannot afford.
Vullaby on the other hand does not really benefit as much as you are praising it up to be, as Onix is the main inhibitor of this set working. It'd be like saying Mienfoo checks Mienfoo. Like sure it does, but their Mienfoo could also check your Mienfoo.

Stealth Rock up well and potentially lure and eliminate checks like Munchlax and Spritzee with Groundium Z for them

These are terrible examples. Munchlax is not a very common threat, and even it if was, it still does the job of Pursuit trapping Abra and Gastly.
Spritzee, on the other hand, while meta relevant, runs Protect, so it is drastically more difficult to beat one of it's Wish/Tect sets if the ZEQ gets weakened.

Choice Scarf users like Mienshao and Pawniard also enjoy this support and have a good matchup against more offensive teams.

Mienfoo. And the scarf set probably benefits the least from Onix, as it is the best equipped to handle birds. Scarf Pawniard also isn't a great partner because it stacks Fighting weaknesses.

Let me know when you make these changes and I will come back and re-read!

 

[Deleted User [433215]]

Onix is mainly used as a defensive option to handle Flying Types. This set is unique because it catches people off-guard by being more offensive.

The Berry Juice set isn't as common anymore but I suppose it can stay. Regardless this is poorly worded. Staryu generally beats Onix unless it gets the Speed Boost, the +1 attack is nice, but doesn't really benefit too much, as EQ + ZEQ kills anyway.

Staryu wins this matchup 100% of the time if you set rocks as it comes in.

Vullaby is the main thing that Onix removes.
Abra has the potential to beat Vullaby regardless of the situation, due to it's ability to run Focus Sash Counter or LO DGleam. There's a reason I suggested Gastly; who has a significantly harder time removing Vullaby, as it has to run Thunderbolt coverage which it often cannot afford.
Vullaby on the other hand does not really benefit as much as you are praising it up to be, as Onix is the main inhibitor of this set working. It'd be like saying Mienfoo checks Mienfoo. Like sure it does, but their Mienfoo could also check your Mienfoo.

These are terrible examples. Munchlax is not a very common threat, and even it if was, it still does the job of Pursuit trapping Abra and Gastly.
Spritzee, on the other hand, while meta relevant, runs Protect, so it is drastically more difficult to beat one of it's Wish/Tect sets if the ZEQ gets weakened.

Mienfoo. And the scarf set probably benefits the least from Onix, as it is the best equipped to handle birds. Scarf Pawniard also isn't a great partner because it stacks Fighting weaknesses.

Let me know when you make these changes and I will come back and re-read!

Implemented all of this.

 

[Coconut]

Jolly Nature

Changed my mind, I want Adamant to be slashed on this set. It kills 23 HP Mienfoo.

defensive Stealth Rock setter in LC thanks to its nearly unresisted STAB

You're leading up it's excellent defenses with it's offensive options.

Groundium Z with Earthquake allows Onix to lure and potentially KO Pokemon expecting the more common Eviolite set like Ferroseed and Mienfoo.

Onix EQ + Tect Rage does 20 damage to ferroseed, not enough for a kill.
It only beats Mienfoo if Weak Armor was activated and you EQ/Protect beforehand. You also need adamant, which means you're 16 speed which means you lose to basically every foo unboosted.

and Clamperl like the fact Onix

Clamperl needs more support than Onix can provide. It generally likes a Memento user, the best one being Diglett, which overlaps type coverage wise with Onix heavily, and there's no reason to run Zmove Onix with Diglett on the team.

Vullaby and Ferroseed with Groundium Z

One of these mons is immune to Groundium Z, the other survives 2 attacks from Onix.

Choice Scarf users like Snivy

I mean this is a better example of a mon that benefits, but the way it's worded makes it seem like Snivy only runs Scarf, or that only the scarf set benefits, which isn't true, because Onix excels at removing Poison type abusers as well.

Let me know when you make these changes!

 

[Deleted User [433215]]

Changed my mind, I want Adamant to be slashed on this set. It kills 23 HP Mienfoo.

You're leading up it's excellent defenses with it's offensive options.

Onix EQ + Tect Rage does 20 damage to ferroseed, not enough for a kill.
It only beats Mienfoo if Weak Armor was activated and you EQ/Protect beforehand. You also need adamant, which means you're 16 speed which means you lose to basically every foo unboosted.

Clamperl needs more support than Onix can provide. It generally likes a Memento user, the best one being Diglett, which overlaps type coverage wise with Onix heavily, and there's no reason to run Zmove Onix with Diglett on the team.

One of these mons is immune to Groundium Z, the other survives 2 attacks from Onix.

I mean this is a better example of a mon that benefits, but the way it's worded makes it seem like Snivy only runs Scarf, or that only the scarf set benefits, which isn't true, because Onix excels at removing Poison type abusers as well.

Let me know when you make these changes!

Implemented

 

[Deleted User [433215]]

Coconut whenever you’re free, can you please check this?

 

[Coconut]

I'm going to have to QC deny this for several reasons:

The writer lacks basic information on the Pokemon in general. It's clear from your writing that you clearly don't understand what the mon is supposed to do. Despite the fact that I've tried to help give guidance as to what you should be writing about, you constantly have missed the mark on what the set does. Furthermore, the examples you are giving show you do not play the game at enough of a level where you can provide examples for someone who is new to the metagame; it also actually makes me question if you play Little Cup at all.

I should not have to constantly make revisions and essentially write the piece for you; it should be assigned to a writer who will treat the piece with the proper respect, research, and integrity of which it deserves.

My suggestion to you would be the same I suggested when you PM'd me about the set when it was first assigned. Get out there and play the actual metagame. Learn what things do, learn what sets are common and how things work. Writing projects like this requires an extreme amount of knowledge and understanding of the concepts and structures of a metagame and the Pokemon's place in the metagame and right now I just don't see that.