How to lighten up?

[Vidd]

This may seem like a strange question but I thought I'd appeal to the collective wealth of social knowledge that makes up Smogon (._.).

I've been accused of acting too formal and even acting "too old" but in reality, that's just the person I am. As much of a social trainwreck it makes me sound, I just don't know how sound otherwise.
I don't know what I could gain from this thread but who knows anyway. :O

 

[Janenmori]

To lighten up in the form of optimism, you just need to accept the harsh cold that is reality. To lighten up and not be so serious, well.....just tell the other people to back the fuck off and that is your personality. If you are solemn and serious person, then they need to back the fuck up and take a look at their own lives and lighten up themselves. Fucking hypocrites.

 

[orangekows]

If that's your personality, then there's no way you can really change that. If you get easily offended by jokes directed at you or 'offensive' jokes in general, then I guess you could work on that by laughing it off. Other than that, don't try to change the way you act. Being yourself is one of the most important things you can do, and if you try too hard to be another person, then people are definitely gonna notice.

 

[Toothache]

Something I find that helps a lot - whenever you make a mistake, laugh at yourself. If you get into that habit, you won't take problems too seriously, and let them get under your skin, you can dispel them with laughter instead. Also makes the world a much more amusing place, I find :-)

 

[Vidd]

Something I find that helps a lot - whenever you make a mistake, laugh at yourself. If you get into that habit, you won't take problems too seriously, and let them get under your skin, you can dispel them with laughter instead. Also makes the world a much more amusing place, I find :-)

You see I meant stuff like this.

I don't want to change the way I act, it's just the way I express myself is too formal, I think.

 

[nardd]

It could just be the words you choose and your syntax. Try not to think so much about what you say beforehand, just start speaking your mind (when appropriate) and you should in turn talk more casually/with more slang/more lenience on grammar. Sometimes I think about what I'm about to say and it comes out way too rehearsed and in complex sentences.

The good thing is that you are capable of being serious/formal. Maybe you should work at funerals or something.

Jokes help too, throw those in if you are comfortable with it

 

[husk]

Try to only think about the future, even in the short term. What's happened has happened. If you aren't having a good time or aren't going to have a good time in the near future then you're doing something wrong.

Ignoring my terrible paraphrasing abilities, seriously think about that. I was told this by someone and I didn't quite get it the first time (ugh 6th grade), but in retrospect it has really helped me out. By future they mean the definition: "anything after the present". This really helps with acting/taking (things) too seriously and too hard(ly?).

 

[Vidd]

I think I've improved a bit since I've made different friends. It has sort of shaken it up a little. husk and nardd, I think you're both right.

I think this concern exists due to the break-up I've just had. Not that it was the basis of it or anything but I could see being so uptight becoming a problem in the future (especially considering university coming up in September).

 

[nardd]

It's definitely a healthy concern, especially if it hinders your friend-making skills. If you have a few friends at uni then that will help, but if you don't know anyone else there then yeah lightening up will help. Just don't try too hard like orangekows said

 

[Elbow Cancer]

Some people act a little more formal or serious at a younger age (and when I say this, I'm not talking down to you based on what I assume your age is, which I'd guess at 17-19). It's not going to be a valued asset until you meet just the right group, or until that part of your personality allows you to shine in the right place.

As an example, I had to deal with this myself in high school, and a lot of people I related to felt like I kept them out just beyond arm's reach. Quite a lot of the friends I had were older than me. But in the right place and time, it has an advantage - my prom date was 21.

Adjust how you act if it helps, but don't go changing who you are. Adapt and accept yourself, and know that even if you're not in that stage now, there will be a time where knowing how to be formal or serious (often a sign of being mature, anyway), will pay off.

 

[Vidd]

Having the ability to act formal has its place certainly and I've put it to use a number of times (especially with jobs) but of course, it is not always ideal.

I'm not trying to change myself and I've realised since posting this thread that at home and away from school I'm not as reserved. It's just a matter of letting this show through.