Background:
I met a girl in school, same grade. Very intelligent, very open minded (especially musically, where we both shared a love for death metal and liked virtually the entire musical spectrum), very athletic. She had a real boyish attitude where it counted so she was into sports and liberally explored darker portions of human thoughts (including perverse and gorey thoughts) so I could be entirely open and uncensored around her. We got along so well, there was a huge love between us.
But her mom got pissed off at me. She found me cursing in a text (wasn't even actual cursing, it was a FFFFFFFUUUUUUU as used in standard meme sense that parents can't understand) and while trying to explain myself to her and get her more open to the idea of me existing without ruining her daughter my Asperger's came out and I went into high society vocabulary mode so I could explain my thoughts with more clarity. She thought I was being fake and trying to trick her so she got pissed off and Ashley and I had to agree to discontinue all aspects of our friendship.
I really tried to play it off as not caring. At first I didn't think it bothered me, I didn't notice anything. But as time's went on it's occupied my thoughts more and lately any time my mind is idle I can't help but think about what a crushing blow it was. I've never found anyone who really understood me how she did. I've had a couple of friends that I could be open around and they didn't care but none who really understood it. For that matter, she's the only girl I've ever found that wasn't an annoying preppy cunt with an inability to do anything besides look pretty while listening to shitty music and dragging me through makeup stores.
I just really don't know what to do. It's getting me so down thinking about what a one of a kind person she was and how I've now lost her forever. She's the only person I feel that's ever loved me, nobody else even really came close. It seems like the more I consider things the bigger the hole becomes.
I'd be lying if I said I was distraught, crying, depressed, or any other severe emotion that may or may not be represented physically. But it really is kind of heavily wearing on me mentally.
Unfortunately my parents have no idea about the whole thing and keep asking when they'll see her again... I've told them nothing just because I've been fearing bringing it up and getting into a conversation and coming across as an emotionally scarred pussy. So I have no idea how to handle that either so I can get them to stop bringing it up.
I've got no idea what my question is, if there is one, but I dunno, I was hoping for some kind of advice of some sort. :\
I met a girl in school, same grade. Very intelligent, very open minded (especially musically, where we both shared a love for death metal and liked virtually the entire musical spectrum), very athletic. She had a real boyish attitude where it counted so she was into sports and liberally explored darker portions of human thoughts (including perverse and gorey thoughts) so I could be entirely open and uncensored around her. We got along so well, there was a huge love between us.
But her mom got pissed off at me. She found me cursing in a text (wasn't even actual cursing, it was a FFFFFFFUUUUUUU as used in standard meme sense that parents can't understand) and while trying to explain myself to her and get her more open to the idea of me existing without ruining her daughter my Asperger's came out and I went into high society vocabulary mode so I could explain my thoughts with more clarity. She thought I was being fake and trying to trick her so she got pissed off and Ashley and I had to agree to discontinue all aspects of our friendship.
I really tried to play it off as not caring. At first I didn't think it bothered me, I didn't notice anything. But as time's went on it's occupied my thoughts more and lately any time my mind is idle I can't help but think about what a crushing blow it was. I've never found anyone who really understood me how she did. I've had a couple of friends that I could be open around and they didn't care but none who really understood it. For that matter, she's the only girl I've ever found that wasn't an annoying preppy cunt with an inability to do anything besides look pretty while listening to shitty music and dragging me through makeup stores.
I just really don't know what to do. It's getting me so down thinking about what a one of a kind person she was and how I've now lost her forever. She's the only person I feel that's ever loved me, nobody else even really came close. It seems like the more I consider things the bigger the hole becomes.
I'd be lying if I said I was distraught, crying, depressed, or any other severe emotion that may or may not be represented physically. But it really is kind of heavily wearing on me mentally.
Unfortunately my parents have no idea about the whole thing and keep asking when they'll see her again... I've told them nothing just because I've been fearing bringing it up and getting into a conversation and coming across as an emotionally scarred pussy. So I have no idea how to handle that either so I can get them to stop bringing it up.
I've got no idea what my question is, if there is one, but I dunno, I was hoping for some kind of advice of some sort. :\
