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Nobody knows their names
- Thread starter Rugi
- Start date
back when i was in high school there used to be a lot of pigeons that would flock to the school ground all the time. among those pigeons was this one extremely recognisable light brown pigeon, who would repeatedly come back every day and slowly but surely i started to expect him to come back every day. i eventually gave him a name, pidgey. i'd get to school in the morning, see pidgey, smile, walk close to him and say "hi pidgey" and he'd just keep walking and bopping around, you know, like a pigeon.
two weeks pass and i keep up with my hi pidgey shtick, did he know i was talking to him? why did he keep coming back? one day i say to pidgey "hi pidgey, how are you" and i must have stepped a bit too close because he flew away, out of the school grounds. i felt so bad. the next day i got to school and he wasn't there. i still miss him. come back to me pidgey, come back to me.
two weeks pass and i keep up with my hi pidgey shtick, did he know i was talking to him? why did he keep coming back? one day i say to pidgey "hi pidgey, how are you" and i must have stepped a bit too close because he flew away, out of the school grounds. i felt so bad. the next day i got to school and he wasn't there. i still miss him. come back to me pidgey, come back to me.
the coo-tang clan
At the beginning of the pandemic i was taking the initiative to start running outside, a fairly normal endeavour.
However i noticed a singular bird watching me from the other sidewalk, i paid no attention and kept running.
The following day, a larger flock of birds was now standing on the other sidewalk, still staring at me.
By day 3 they had started slowly following me on foot, but still at a pace where i could outrun them.
By day 5 they had taken flight, following my every move.
I stopped going outside since then, they cannot open the front door for they do not have hands was my reasoning.
A few days later i started hearing music from my backyard, they had brought a boombox and were blasting the music at full sound.
I quickly reasearched the name of the song, the name of it made me crumble to my core.
It's been over a year, i have not left my house, and the music is getting louder by the day.
Send Help
However i noticed a singular bird watching me from the other sidewalk, i paid no attention and kept running.
The following day, a larger flock of birds was now standing on the other sidewalk, still staring at me.
By day 3 they had started slowly following me on foot, but still at a pace where i could outrun them.
By day 5 they had taken flight, following my every move.
I stopped going outside since then, they cannot open the front door for they do not have hands was my reasoning.
A few days later i started hearing music from my backyard, they had brought a boombox and were blasting the music at full sound.
I quickly reasearched the name of the song, the name of it made me crumble to my core.
It's been over a year, i have not left my house, and the music is getting louder by the day.
Send Help
pigeoff
Well, since you felt bold and decided to necro this thread I will post my pidgeon rant since my Anti-Pidgeon villain arc has completed:
I hate pigeons (the birds, not the user, actually you know what, fuck the user too any Pigeon lover is automatically on my shitlist). Pigeons are the fucking scum of the earth, they are evil within modern society that rots it to the point that it is never able to prosper correctly. Whenever someone mentions the word or the animals i get into a fit of irrational rage, but can you blame me, when we have to deal with such subhuman creatures? Creatures whose's mere existence is enabled by 1 functioning cell idiots who act as parasites to this tragic attempt at a society that keep feeding them because "they are a mood" and "my child loves them" and "my wife's girlfriend wants some privacy with her and I feel like they understand me". The long, extenuating hours i had to go through to clean their shit from my windows, my garage and my garden, under the blazing sun that rises on a saturday morning when i could have perfectly used that time to procrastinate further, is something i will never get back. And for what? Pigeons are blasfemous rats with wings, with the morality of a discord mod, the gluttony of a tapeworm, and the intelligence of a cardboard box. They are such lazy and pathethic animals that they will grab the most random spots ever, make the shitiest nests in existence and the call it a day. Sometimes whenever i hear the neighbour feed the pidgeons in my residencial area i start to hope that his daughter is product of the airbnb guys who come to his house, because I genuinely hope his genes don't make it to the next generation. And why are pigeons so fucking widespread? Why does the beautiful Torogoz native to my country have to be in peril of extinction when this bitch-ass useless species is doing just fine worldwide? I am so tired of them. Whenever i find one dead on the street, my day becomes significantly good, it makes me feel like the world is an actual good place. And let me tell you, i TRIED to solve the problem of pigeons shitting in my lawn peacefully, but the plastic owls, the zip-ties in my Windows that took me hours to place there? Nothing worked, these birds are so fucking stupid that they cannot understand the basic concepts of trying to live longer, just being there to be make my life miserable. Well I am entering my fucking limit, one day i will wake up and every pigeon owner will feel shivers in its spine, as one day i will eradicate their evil race until their is not a trace left, and they won't be missed. and if people miss them they can go perform guitar hero solos with arthritis. And if they jail me for animal rights abuse? That won't fix anything, the stupid birds are all dead and i would gladly admit i was not following orders. And if it fucks up the ecosystem then the whole planet can fuck off till ashes are all its left with. I will reincarnate as a cell, restart the whole evolutionary process, and make a new planet, twice as gay and certainly better since I will have prevented the species from ever being created by removing its ancestors from the gene pool.
I hate pigeons (the birds, not the user, actually you know what, fuck the user too any Pigeon lover is automatically on my shitlist). Pigeons are the fucking scum of the earth, they are evil within modern society that rots it to the point that it is never able to prosper correctly. Whenever someone mentions the word or the animals i get into a fit of irrational rage, but can you blame me, when we have to deal with such subhuman creatures? Creatures whose's mere existence is enabled by 1 functioning cell idiots who act as parasites to this tragic attempt at a society that keep feeding them because "they are a mood" and "my child loves them" and "my wife's girlfriend wants some privacy with her and I feel like they understand me". The long, extenuating hours i had to go through to clean their shit from my windows, my garage and my garden, under the blazing sun that rises on a saturday morning when i could have perfectly used that time to procrastinate further, is something i will never get back. And for what? Pigeons are blasfemous rats with wings, with the morality of a discord mod, the gluttony of a tapeworm, and the intelligence of a cardboard box. They are such lazy and pathethic animals that they will grab the most random spots ever, make the shitiest nests in existence and the call it a day. Sometimes whenever i hear the neighbour feed the pidgeons in my residencial area i start to hope that his daughter is product of the airbnb guys who come to his house, because I genuinely hope his genes don't make it to the next generation. And why are pigeons so fucking widespread? Why does the beautiful Torogoz native to my country have to be in peril of extinction when this bitch-ass useless species is doing just fine worldwide? I am so tired of them. Whenever i find one dead on the street, my day becomes significantly good, it makes me feel like the world is an actual good place. And let me tell you, i TRIED to solve the problem of pigeons shitting in my lawn peacefully, but the plastic owls, the zip-ties in my Windows that took me hours to place there? Nothing worked, these birds are so fucking stupid that they cannot understand the basic concepts of trying to live longer, just being there to be make my life miserable. Well I am entering my fucking limit, one day i will wake up and every pigeon owner will feel shivers in its spine, as one day i will eradicate their evil race until their is not a trace left, and they won't be missed. and if people miss them they can go perform guitar hero solos with arthritis. And if they jail me for animal rights abuse? That won't fix anything, the stupid birds are all dead and i would gladly admit i was not following orders. And if it fucks up the ecosystem then the whole planet can fuck off till ashes are all its left with. I will reincarnate as a cell, restart the whole evolutionary process, and make a new planet, twice as gay and certainly better since I will have prevented the species from ever being created by removing its ancestors from the gene pool.
