A week and a half ago, I was in a bookstore and I found this calendar that had pictures of penguins on it for every month. I carried it around with me, debating purchasing it. I knew I couldn't walk out of the bookstore with just the penguin calendar, because that's a bit weird, so I resolved to get it if I could find a book I wanted. I eventually did (some Flaubert novel in translation wow what a learned person I am) and purchased both of them.
I bought the penguin calendar with the idea of giving it to someone. I thought this would be pretty funny, as they'd have to deal with the fact that I just gave them a calendar with penguins on it for each month. If they don't accept it, they have to deal with the awkwardness of rejecting a gift, but if they do accept it, they have to live with a penguin calendar on their wall for a year.
So after I walk out of the bookstore, I start on my way and I see two peripheral friends, both pretty wasted. One of them is this introspective guy who is kind of endearingly awkward (let's call him Reginald) and the other is his metalhead friend. I say hi and then realize the opportunity I have here. I tell Reginald that I have a gift for him. At first he doesn't want to accept it, but I tell him "I bought it with the intention of giving it to you," so he takes it. It was one of the better moments of my life so far.
A week passes. I see him again. He tells me he's bought something for me, but says he's an idiot and forgot to bring it with him.
The next day, I see him again, and he brings out of his bag something surrounded in newspaper. He gives it to me. It is this.
In retaliation, yesterday I went to the thrift store looking for something useless and cheap to give him. I didn't see anything, and as I walk to the back of the store, I find Reginald looking at wooden and glass trinkets. This can only mean one thing. The useless-gift giving war has now begun.
Having found nothing in the thrift store, the question now arises - what do I get him now? What do you think I should get him now?
I bought the penguin calendar with the idea of giving it to someone. I thought this would be pretty funny, as they'd have to deal with the fact that I just gave them a calendar with penguins on it for each month. If they don't accept it, they have to deal with the awkwardness of rejecting a gift, but if they do accept it, they have to live with a penguin calendar on their wall for a year.
So after I walk out of the bookstore, I start on my way and I see two peripheral friends, both pretty wasted. One of them is this introspective guy who is kind of endearingly awkward (let's call him Reginald) and the other is his metalhead friend. I say hi and then realize the opportunity I have here. I tell Reginald that I have a gift for him. At first he doesn't want to accept it, but I tell him "I bought it with the intention of giving it to you," so he takes it. It was one of the better moments of my life so far.
A week passes. I see him again. He tells me he's bought something for me, but says he's an idiot and forgot to bring it with him.
The next day, I see him again, and he brings out of his bag something surrounded in newspaper. He gives it to me. It is this.

In retaliation, yesterday I went to the thrift store looking for something useless and cheap to give him. I didn't see anything, and as I walk to the back of the store, I find Reginald looking at wooden and glass trinkets. This can only mean one thing. The useless-gift giving war has now begun.
Having found nothing in the thrift store, the question now arises - what do I get him now? What do you think I should get him now?