scheduling with americans

[MAMP]

im sick of this shit. whenever i enter a pokemon battling tournament on this website i will inevitably be paired up immediately with some spoilt motherfucker from the east coast of the united states of america who has never needed to convert between timezones in their life and literally pisses their actual pants when i say my timezone is +10. this guy didn't even know that double digit timezones existed until just now and is so stunned by my tremendous gmt offset that they react in one of 3 ways:

1. no response for 4 days until they message me at 4 in the morning to ask if i can play now (i cannot)
2. freak out and say something like "oh man, we'll never be able to get this done" or "this is hurting my head" (it's actually very easy: evenings in america are mid-morning the next day for me)
3. try to convert the timezones themselves but do it wrong and show up for the match a day early (i have had activity called against me twice because of this)

as a result of this i have become an expert in calculating time differences. the other day i was talking with my mum about my aunt in panama and she said "i wonder what time it is over there" and i just told her instantly and she thought i was some sort of genius. sorry to tell you this mum but i've actually spent the last 6 years of my life scheduling pokemon matches with 14 year old new yorkers who learnt geography from a map that cuts asia in half so that america can be in the middle

oh and another thing, i hate it when these ratbags tell me their timezone like "im pst" or "im in chicago" i dont fucking know what that means. for the love of god please just give me a number, i should not have to pull out my fucking globe to work out when i can play a game of pokemon with you

 

[MAMP]

indians are nearly as bad btw. what the fuck kind of timezone is "+5.5" and why do these guys always try to get me to play at like 1am

 

[earl]

I try to give my timezone correctly (GMT-5 I'm p sure) but America's dumbfuck daylight savings system forces me to double check every time just in case I'm an hour off because America 200 years ago wanted farmers to go to bed earlier or some shit

 

[ceal]

East Coast Beast Coast, get fucked

 

[Sijih]

You realize this whole problem would be solved if we used Liberty Standard Time?

This is the one simple rule that governs Liberty Standard Time:

No matter where you are, no matter where the sun is in the sky, it's always one time:

 

[Rugi]

(Alaskan man who lives in a timezone with 3 people and whose toilet is a polar bear corpse)
"Australians with their god-awful timezone that only has 2 billion people within two hours of it hahaha fuckin desert Canadians git 'er done."

 

[Martin]

a map that cuts asia in half so that america can be in the middle

I agree. The European world map is far superior.

 

[Rugi]

I agree. The European world map is far superior.

 

[Ironmage]

View attachment 279534

Gotta love how Russia just straight up and left so that Scandinavia can be an island.

 

[chimp]

In all fairness Ive never seen a map with America in the center tbh and I live on the east coast

 

[Cynara]

As a ludicrous insomnaic, I appreciate our australian friends on Smogon as theyre the easiest chaps to schedule with, very accomodating. GMT+1 fwiw

 

[Chloe]

what rly gets to me, more than the americans, is when people out of popularly acronymed timezones say like oh I'm IST. like im supposed to know what the hell they're on about. ok indian standard time?? i've never heard it referred to this way, why call it frickin IST in a scheduling vm against an australian. i even once got told BST??? bangladesh standard time? why am i expected to know this shit.

 

[Euphonos]

#ScheduleLikeEuphonos!

That's what I did when scheduling with most Americans; I made the calendar such that it's GMT -4 to accommodate most of them. If you plan on doing this, MAMP, maybe I'd suggest you go GMT -2 (are there anyone from that timezone? haha) to make it 12 hours apart, then if you can manage to do 14 hours apart, you can go for the GMT -4 timezone. I can help with it if you're going for this... :)

 

[Deck Knight]

Was expecting roasting of Mercator Projection turning Greenland into a giant (will not happen until Trump purchases it.) Am very disappointed at the quality of topological gripes in this thread.

East Coast Beast Coast. Respect the American Farmer of the 1800s.

 

[BIG ASHLEY]

Respect the American Farmer of the 1800s.

deck knight likes the working class? based

 

[Colonel M]

Eastern is the only valid timezone.

Other timezones don't exist, except Nepal's because that fucking timezone slaps.

 

[Pidge]

you gotta spoon feed people and just give them a link to your local time
https://time.is/CT
'let's play when this clock says 4:00 PM'

 

[aurora]

as someone who has scheduled in both australian and european timezones i cannot tell you how much better it was to schedule in europe. much less waking up at 6 or 7am or staying awake until ridiculous times. GMT +10 is a living nightmare

 

[Dread Arceus]

this would all be solved if we just stayed on a single worldwide time and forced australians to be nocturnal (as god intended)

 

[shadowpea]

i've actually spent the last 6 years of my life scheduling pokemon matches with 14 year old new yorkers who learnt geography from a map that cuts asia in half so that america can be in the middle

Why does the entire world suffer from the exact same curse???

Chinese map:

China 2:

 

[greenandgrey77]

This one guy didn't know that half time zones like 2.5+ , 3.5+ existed. If you hate scheduling then use a VPN to be in the same country as your opponent

 

[Berks]

use a VPN to be in the same country as your opponent

it’s always 5 o’clock somewhere!

 

[faint]

have u considered just scheduling on the sunday before the deadline? it's not like tournament players play any other day of the week anyway.

 

[aesf]

2. freak out and say something like "oh man, we'll never be able to get this done" or "this is hurting my head"

oops