We've danced around this long enough. Birthday parties have been ruined. Marriages have been strained. At least one tiering council has been divided over this very issue and I think it's time we brought it here, into the light, where it belongs.
Are seals or sea lions the superior creature?
Sea lions have ear flaps. Tiny, visible, perfect little ear flaps that do absolutely nothing to make them better at hearing but make them look like they are vaguely listening to what you are saying, which is honestly more than I can say for my husband. They can also WALK. They rotate their flippers under their body like they own the place, which they do, because anywhere a sea lion goes becomes the sea lion's place within approximately four seconds. They are also VERY LOUD about this. They bark folks, they bark more than your neighbor's pug. A sea lion has never once been uncertain about its opinions and in that sense we are kindred spirits. They are also known for their appearances in old, slapstick cartoons. This gives them the public relations bump, the likes of which have never benefit the seal.
Seals, on the other hand, vibes-coded in a way that sea lions simply are not. Have you ever watched a seal in the water? It is pure, liquid joy. No bones. Just soul. It moves through the ocean like a thought, like a beautiful secret, like something that has transcended the need for knees. And on land? It does not pretend. It does not put on a show. It simply lies there, magnificent, in one location, being completely correct about everything. This is called dignity. Google it, bitch. Seals have the emotional range of your neighbor's pug, trapped inside of the body of a beanbag chair. While they might not have the ancient cartoons, they've got memes with giant anime eyes. That might be the tipping point for the lot of you.
Do sea lions get the leg up because they're louder and can dance? Or are seals better because if a child points to either one, they're going to call it a seal. Let me lay down some ground rules to ensure the civility of this thread, and Smogoff as a whole:
No fence-sitters. Pick a side. "I love both" is grounds for shunning and we will all judge you.
Cite your sources (vibes accepted as sources).
If you're wrong, you better commit to the bit, minds are not allowed to be changed.
No one is allowed to bring up walruses. WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT WALRUSES. This is strictly forbidden.
Are seals or sea lions the superior creature?
Sea lions have ear flaps. Tiny, visible, perfect little ear flaps that do absolutely nothing to make them better at hearing but make them look like they are vaguely listening to what you are saying, which is honestly more than I can say for my husband. They can also WALK. They rotate their flippers under their body like they own the place, which they do, because anywhere a sea lion goes becomes the sea lion's place within approximately four seconds. They are also VERY LOUD about this. They bark folks, they bark more than your neighbor's pug. A sea lion has never once been uncertain about its opinions and in that sense we are kindred spirits. They are also known for their appearances in old, slapstick cartoons. This gives them the public relations bump, the likes of which have never benefit the seal.
Seals, on the other hand, vibes-coded in a way that sea lions simply are not. Have you ever watched a seal in the water? It is pure, liquid joy. No bones. Just soul. It moves through the ocean like a thought, like a beautiful secret, like something that has transcended the need for knees. And on land? It does not pretend. It does not put on a show. It simply lies there, magnificent, in one location, being completely correct about everything. This is called dignity. Google it, bitch. Seals have the emotional range of your neighbor's pug, trapped inside of the body of a beanbag chair. While they might not have the ancient cartoons, they've got memes with giant anime eyes. That might be the tipping point for the lot of you.
Do sea lions get the leg up because they're louder and can dance? Or are seals better because if a child points to either one, they're going to call it a seal. Let me lay down some ground rules to ensure the civility of this thread, and Smogoff as a whole:
No fence-sitters. Pick a side. "I love both" is grounds for shunning and we will all judge you.
Cite your sources (vibes accepted as sources).
If you're wrong, you better commit to the bit, minds are not allowed to be changed.
No one is allowed to bring up walruses. WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT WALRUSES. This is strictly forbidden.
