I feel as though "modern man" has become too divorced from the primal urges reddit tells me every woman has. Men need to go back to their animal roots. By borrowing from other species' courtship rituals and applying them to your own attempts at convincing the female persuasion into Men, it is possible that Men can separate himself from other Men and stand apart as a shining example of Men-hood. An sigma Men, if you will.
Let us look at the Satin Bower Bird
What is it? We just don;t know. What we
do know is that Satin BowerBirds will collect interesting Blue items to decorate their little nest/stage with. Then they will dance and perform displays for the opposing gender in an attempt to persuade them to perform Adult Things like Marriage and Taxes.
But oh dear.It appears as though this shining example of Men has already taken the Satin Bowerbird's idea, performing courtship displays in public (though his nest decoration is lacklustre). Additionally, as I sincerely doubt any poster on Smogoff forums is capable of lifting this many instruments, let alone playing them,I believe it may be time to look at other means as this avenue is heavily contested
Now, perhaps, we could look at one of nature's smaller casonovas. The Sea Slug
The Sea Slug performs The Deed in a very interesting way. The Sea Slug will stab its partner with a dart full of sex hormones, called a penile stylet , between the eyes. The Sea Slug's strategy seems useful, however, my lawyer has informed me in the past that being stabbed full of aphrodisiacs against your will might be a crime punishable by the law? Furthermore I do not believe this is an effective long-term solution as you will need a lot of Sea Slug Sex Hormones to pull this off
It is unfortunate that both the bird and the slug have proven inadequate animals to emulate. However, this next animal I personally believe may be a winner, and the key to unlocking infinite women all the time always:
A Giaffe will perform violence against male rivals in order to secure WOmen. This is all well and good, many Men animals do this in fact. Yet this is not the appeal of the griaffe's courtship. The Men Gairffe will taste and small the Women giafrre's urine in order to tell if she is ready for Adult Actions such as Marriage and Taxes
The plan, then, is simple. In order to procure attention from Women, you must ask them for a sample of their pee. As a certified Woman I can confirm that this simple strategy is very good. It also keeps you hydrated which is good for your physical health
Hope this helps
