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have you tried going to a bar dressed up in casual attire, smelling nice, and looking super clean and just buying a women who get ur gander a drink?

usually works for me
 
Here's a list of ice breakers to help!
  • Hey, you look pretty, can I buy you a drink?
  • Damn, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? haha, hi, I'm Karl.
  • Um, hey, so uuuh, don't want to be, like, awkward and all that, but uuuh, do you... you know... do you want to... like... maybe get a coffee? or something? i don't know.
  • Damn babe, are you a fish? Cuz you are quite the catch! haha, hi, I'm Karl.
  • Madam, you know you were going 80 in a 30 zone, right?
  • Chat, how do I ask this girl out? No chat, I'm not going to stick my face at her and shout AWOOGA, no chat, I'm not going to do that. Chat. CHAT, I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT.
  • Hey you, can you call an ambulance please? Long story, I'm an angel, I just fell from my cloud, my legs are broken, please send for help.
  • You have been awarded 1 posting point.
 
I feel as though "modern man" has become too divorced from the primal urges reddit tells me every woman has. Men need to go back to their animal roots. By borrowing from other species' courtship rituals and applying them to your own attempts at convincing the female persuasion into Men, it is possible that Men can separate himself from other Men and stand apart as a shining example of Men-hood. An sigma Men, if you will.

Let us look at the Satin Bower Bird
bowerbird.jpg

What is it? We just don;t know. What we do know is that Satin BowerBirds will collect interesting Blue items to decorate their little nest/stage with. Then they will dance and perform displays for the opposing gender in an attempt to persuade them to perform Adult Things like Marriage and Taxes.
One-man_band_street_performer_-_5.jpg
But oh dear.It appears as though this shining example of Men has already taken the Satin Bowerbird's idea, performing courtship displays in public (though his nest decoration is lacklustre). Additionally, as I sincerely doubt any poster on Smogoff forums is capable of lifting this many instruments, let alone playing them,I believe it may be time to look at other means as this avenue is heavily contested

Now, perhaps, we could look at one of nature's smaller casonovas. The Sea Slug
retro-distressed-sticker-of-a-cartoon-slug-vector-24163911.jpg

The Sea Slug performs The Deed in a very interesting way. The Sea Slug will stab its partner with a dart full of sex hormones, called a penile stylet , between the eyes. The Sea Slug's strategy seems useful, however, my lawyer has informed me in the past that being stabbed full of aphrodisiacs against your will might be a crime punishable by the law? Furthermore I do not believe this is an effective long-term solution as you will need a lot of Sea Slug Sex Hormones to pull this off

It is unfortunate that both the bird and the slug have proven inadequate animals to emulate. However, this next animal I personally believe may be a winner, and the key to unlocking infinite women all the time always:
il_600x600.4740481265_aa1l.jpg

A Giaffe will perform violence against male rivals in order to secure WOmen. This is all well and good, many Men animals do this in fact. Yet this is not the appeal of the griaffe's courtship. The Men Gairffe will taste and small the Women giafrre's urine in order to tell if she is ready for Adult Actions such as Marriage and Taxes

The plan, then, is simple. In order to procure attention from Women, you must ask them for a sample of their pee. As a certified Woman I can confirm that this simple strategy is very good. It also keeps you hydrated which is good for your physical health

Hope this helps :blobthumbsup:
 
Here's a list of ice breakers to help!
  • Hey, you look pretty, can I buy you a drink?
  • Damn, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? haha, hi, I'm Karl.
  • Um, hey, so uuuh, don't want to be, like, awkward and all that, but uuuh, do you... you know... do you want to... like... maybe get a coffee? or something? i don't know.
  • Damn babe, are you a fish? Cuz you are quite the catch! haha, hi, I'm Karl.
  • Madam, you know you were going 80 in a 30 zone, right?
  • Chat, how do I ask this girl out? No chat, I'm not going to stick my face at her and shout AWOOGA, no chat, I'm not going to do that. Chat. CHAT, I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT.
  • Hey you, can you call an ambulance please? Long story, I'm an angel, I just fell from my cloud, my legs are broken, please send for help.
  • You have been awarded 1 posting point.

Hi Karl, my name is Marx

1715888489421.png
 
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