(joining the nu rmt bandwagon)
(thanks Google)
Introduction
(thanks Google)
Hey! This is a team that I've been using off and on for quite a while now. The main premise is to use good synergy to spread paralysis, set up hazards, and then break down a team using slower Pokemon like Life Orb Eelektross and Choice Band Sawk among other things. Paralysis really screws with most teams and is fantastic support for the main Pokemon behind this team, Eelektross. This team started out very offensive and has since become more defensive by abusing good cores, but the same idea behind this team as a whole has stayed. I guess you could say this team is a spike stacking team, but I generally don't really bother setting up more than one layer most of the time. Stealth Rock + 1 layer of Spikes is generally enough to OHKO or 2HKO the metagame.
I really like this team right now, so with 5th Gen coming to a close in a matter of weeks, I thought I might as well share it here. I can't say it has been perfected just yet, but I feel like it's been tweaked enough to function quite efficiently. I constantly make minor adjustments move sets or switch out Pokemon with the same basic role to test, so I'm completely open to suggestions.
Also, the team name is only a reference to my favorite song, which you can find here, if you haven't heard it before. I've been listening to it a lot lately for some reason, so I thought it was a fitting title. Better than Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends, I suppose.
Team

Golem @ Ground Gem
Trait: Sturdy
EVs: 188 HP / 252 Atk / 4 Def / 64 Spd
Adamant Nature
- Stealth Rock
- Earthquake
- Sucker Punch
- Rock Blast
I've played around with Stealth Rockers for this team, ranging from Golurk to Seismitoad, but I've always settled back on Golem. While Golurk and Seismitoad have good merits (Golurk has really good synergy with Audino, Seismitoad + Scolipede is fantastic), Golem has great ups with his rock typing, Sturdy, and Ground Gem Earthquake hits like a truck. Ground Gem Earthquake + Sucker Punch takes care of a lot of common leads, specifically Golurk, Seismitoad, and some more obscure stuff. Ground Gem Earthquake can also net easy advantages at times, easily making a game 6-5. It pretty much always kills or heavily damages a Golem switch in. Golem also makes a really good check to Jynx with Sucker Punch and Sturdy, which this team has trouble with sometimes. Golem excels as my Flying and Normal resist, which is really important with stuff like Bulk Up Braviary running around that has an easy time setting up on things like Musharna and Audino if it runs Substitute. It screws with VoltTurn teams too, which is a pretty nifty ability.
The EV's look a bit funky, but they work really well. 64 Speed outpaces other Golem and 16 Speed Piloswine by 3 points. 4 Defense and 188 HP reduces all chances of Leftovers Golurk from OHKO'ing after Stealth Rocks, which can break Sturdy.

Musharna @ Leftovers
Trait: Synchronize
EVs: 252 HP / 252 Def / 4 SDef
Bold Nature
- Baton Pass
- Moonlight
- Psychic
- Thunder Wave
Pivot Musharna is my first paralysis spreader and 1/3 of my defensive core. I find that I like the Pivot Musharna set more in general, since I don't really need the Heal Bell support and I'd prefer that Musharna takes a big hit than Eelektross or Sawk. Baton Pass also beats Skuntank, which is a pretty nifty feature. Thunder Wave is the crux of this set and really trips up some Pokemon that don't enjoy paralysis. Musharna takes physical hits like a boss and is one of two Pokemon that can take rampant Close Combats from Sawk or Primeape, which it really enjoys as a niche. I don't really have a lot to say about Musharna, unfortunately. It does its job quite well and synergizes effectively with the other members of my defensive core.

Audino @ Leftovers
Trait: Regenerator
EVs: 252 HP / 4 Atk / 252 SDef
Careful Nature
- Thunder Wave
- Wish
- Protect
- Double-Edge
Every team needs some glue; Audino happens to be just that for this team. It's really disappointing that Alomomola overshadows Audino most of the time since Audino is just really fantastic. I really like Normal-typing for specially defensive Pokemon, simply because most Fighting attacks are physical, which means that Audino doesn't really have a hard time taking most special hits. Audino keeps my team extremely healthy; Eelektross, Scolipede, and Sawk all appreciate the WishPassing abilities of Audino. He spreads paralysis like there's no tomorrow, especially against big threats like Jynx and Charizard. Regenerator keeps him healthy and ready to take hits. One of the things I just love about Audino is how well he synergizes with Musharna. This makes them an extremely effective paralysis duo, while the only thing they really fear is mixed Eelektross or something of the sort. Audino is just so incredibly bulky, the only thing that's really 2HKO'ing him is like Choice Specs Exeggute's Leaf Storm. Seriously, you should try out Audino.
The only problem I've ever had with Audino is a gigantic 4MSS. I'd love to run Heal Bell, Magic Coat, or even Healing Wish but I don't really have the space. I guess if I ran Magic Coat I wouldn't be Taunt fodder necessary, but I don't really see the point.

Scolipede @ Black Sludge
Trait: Swarm
EVs: 240 HP / 36 Atk / 52 Def / 180 Spd
Jolly Nature
- Spikes
- Aqua Tail
- Megahorn
- Rock Slide
The last part of my defensive core, Scolipede! I'm used to running offensive Scolipede, but I feel like bulky Scolipede just fits better into the play style of this team. Scolipede synergizes really well with Musharna and Audino. Bug/Poison is just a fantastic typing to have with Sawk running around and Scolipede takes Close Combats like a champ. I generally only set up 1 to 2 layers of Spikes before I mainly just attack with Scolipede and abuse his resistances. I never really find myself needing three layers, as this team forces switches well enough and Volt Switch damage for Eelektross racks up quickly in conjunction with Stealth Rocks and 1 to 2 layers. Scolipede is a really good check to non-scarfed variants of Jynx and Charizard, who can fuck with this team quite a bit if given the opportunity. Audino + Scolipede is also just so good; Audino lures out Fighting types and passes Wishes to Scolipede, keeping it healthy and giving it ample opportunity to set up Spikes. Wish also helps keep that Stealth Rocks weakness at bay, which is really a drag. I've honestly considered throwing Swords Dance on Scolipede, but I like being able to 2HKO Golurk and Musharna and OHKO'ing slower variants of Jynx and Charizard all at the same time.
The EV's are practically Smogon's just with a Speed creep tweak to outrun other Bulky Scolipedes by three points. 180 Speed outruns positive base 101's. 36 Attack nets the 2HKO on Golurk and Musharna with Aqua Tail and Megahorn, respectively. 240 HP is a leftovers number, while the rest was dumped into Defense.

Sawk @ Choice Band
Trait: Mold Breaker
EVs: 252 Atk / 4 HP / 252 Spd
Adamant Nature
- Close Combat
- Earthquake
- Ice Punch
- Stone Edge
The obligatory Choice Band Sawk. Sawk makes up part of my offensive core. Sawk is, without a doubt, the best physical wallbreaker in the tier. Close Combat hits like a truck and a half; Close Combat 2HKO's Alomomola and Tangela after Stealth Rocks, which is just insane. If you think I didn't have a lot to say about Musharna, I really won't have a lot to say about Sawk. Sawk is really the same Pokemon; send it out, spam Close Combat, switch out. Rinse and repeat. Earthquake, Ice Punch, and Stone Edge provide good coverage for Sawk. I lead a lot with Sawk, since he beats basically every Sturdy lead you can think of, and preventing Stealth Rock is always nice.

Eelektross @ Life Orb
Trait: Levitate
EVs: 132 HP / 252 SAtk / 124 Spd
Modest Nature
- Thunderbolt
- Flamethrower
- Giga Drain
- Volt Switch
I will always love that sprite. This is the Pokemon that started this team, and for good reason. Eelektross has established itself as my favorite Pokemon in the NU tier. I'm just such a fan of offensive electrics, especially ones as strong and bulky as Eelektross. To boot, Eelektross boasts a fantastic movepool, and shit like Giga Drain is just really cool and handy to have. Eelektross 2HKO's or OHKO's practically the whole metagame with hazard support, and he practically has field day when everything he's facing is paralyzed. While the Choice Specs set hits like a nuke, I hate stupid prediction games with Golurks and Seismitoads, among other things, so I'd rather run a Life Orb set since it's just so much more versatile. Levitate is a godsend for the eel, and I really enjoy switching into Banded Golurk's and Sawk's stuck into Earthquake. Not having any weaknesses is just an even bigger plus. Eelektross is just really a fantastic wallbreaker, and he excels so well at it. The only Pokemon he really has trouble with are specially defensive Normal-types like Lickilicky, so Sawk deals with them perfectly. Eelektross' health diminishes quite quickly, so he loves the Wish support from Audino. Gaining momentum with Volt Switch really helps a slower team like mine, as well, so I really like to spam it whenever I can. I tend to have the most success playing Eelektross conservatively early game and extremely aggressive midgame, since by midgame nothing really likes taking a Thunderbolt to the face.
The EV's are Smogon standard. 124 Speed EV's outpaces Alomomola by one point, with the rest dumped into HP for bulk.
End
I've really enjoyed using this team, and probably will continue to use it until Gen V is over. This team plays very defensively at first and then completely flips, so it's fun to catch some opponents off guard. Anyways, I know it's not perfect, so I'd love to get feedback on it. Maybe I'll try to peak with it. I don't know, I find laddering tedious and whatnot. Anyways, thanks for reading (even if you didn't read all of it, props if you did).
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