Togedemaru [QC:0/2]

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SuperMetroBanana

SuperMetroBanana

[OVERVIEW]

* Lightning Rod Is The Main Reason Others use Togedemaru as It makes Electric Types Think Twice Before Attacking.
* Defences are poor. Makes It Hard to support Teammates.
* Typing gives it 11 resistances, 1 immunity and 3 weakness’ including its 4x weakness to Ground but can be worked around.


[SET]
name: Support
move 1:Fake Out
move 2:Zing Zap
move 3:Nuzzle
move 4:Spiky Shield
Item:Air balloon/Sitrus berry
Ability:Lightning Rod
nature:Jolly
Evs:(4 HP / 252 Atk / 252 Spe).

[SET COMMENTS]
Moves
========
* Fake out Is used to flinch the opponent before they can move.
* Zing Zap is its signature move and best physical move it has. It has STAB and there are no physical steel moves that can be used. What a shame.* Togedemaru is one of the few pokemon that get access to nuzzle a perfectly accurate Thunder Wave that does a little bit of damage. Use It to paralyse the Opponents Pokemon
* Spiky Shield is used to scout out opponents moves against you. Plus if others make contact it can damage the opponent back.


Set Details
========
* EVs allow it to deal max damage and max speed. But it still can be out sped by a lot of Pokemon.Keep that in mind. Hp just for extra points. If you are Running Sitrus Berry Go with These EVS (252 HP / 108 Def / 148 SpD).
* Jolly To Gain Maximum Speed Possible.
* Ability Lighting Rod gives another immunity and is used to support teammates that are weak to electric to be protected from their attacks.
* Air balloon is used to be immune to ground types until it is hit. but Sitrus Berry could be used to recover a little HP from half HP or less.


Usage Tips
========
* Use Fake out on the first turn you come into play as you cannot use it any other time unless you switch out.
* Use nuzzle to shut down lesser threats as it can help other teammates from taking damage.
* Use Zing Zap when you are sure you are not in any danger from the opponent.
* When there is a Ground Type user on the field Don’t Stay There’ get the hell out of there.


Team Options
========
* Mainly used as a shutdown pokemon.With Fake Out and Nuzzle.
* Use as a support to shut down other Pokemon so others can take care of them.
* Use Lightning Rod with Pokemon Like the following
Drizzle: Pokemon Like Pelipper and Politoed with drizzle reduce fire weakness,beats Grass-,Fire-,and Ground types. benefits From Lightning Rod.
Gyarados:Fake Out helps Gyarados set up Dragon Dance and also Benefits From Lightning Rod.
Tapu Bulu: Grassy Terrain Lessens Ground damage and Hits them Super Effectively
* Have a Grass Type to Take care of Ground Types That threaten Togedemaru But Togedemaru with Ground types is something I do not Recommend. Switch out Immediately.

[STRATEGY COMMENTS]
Other Options
=============
* Swagger can be used to give teammates extra power for a support role
* Poison jab can also be used for extra coverage and to take care of fairy types
* U-turn can be used to make a quick getaway from dangerous threats
* Wish can be an option but is unreliable thanks to Togedemaru's poor defences
* You Can Lose Spiky Shield with an Offensive Move to run Assault Vest.
* Can Also Run Focus Sash to survive an OHKO Hit From a Ground type. Or Any other Weakness This Pokemon Has

Checks and Counters
===================
** Alolan Marowak and Fire Types **: Mainly thanks to Lightning Rod Togedemaru cannot touch Marowak thanks to its Ghost typing and Lightning Rod.it can OHKO Togedemaru with a powerful Flare Blitz. Just as well as Every other fire type packing a Water type is a good Idea.

** Ground types **: With a 4x weakness to them, Ground types are going to be the one thing you never want to see.Without an Air Balloon Togedemaru is absolutely defenceless against Any Ground attack.You are forced to switch out to another pokemon. Pokemon like Garchomp, Mudsdale Or Krookodile Can OHKO Togedemaru With a Super Effective Earthquake.

** Fighting Types **: thanks to Togedemaru's Lackluster Defense Any physical Fighting attack will OHKO it. Pokemon Like Pheromosa, Buzzwole, Kommo-o and more can OHKO Togedemaru with A powerful Fighting Attack.
 
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Please I'm Open to any advice. And If someone has already taken it.(I checked) please let me know. Oh And If your confused I wrote this one before I actually Created this thread. Just to be sure
 
SuperMetroBanana said:
Please I'm Open to any advice.
Click to expand...

Users aren't supposed to comment on analyses that are in the WIP stage. Make sure all the points you wanted in the analysis are included, and then switch the thread's tag to Quality Control to recieve comments and checks.

I'll say this, since it's not a comment about the content: make sure you capitalize the names of Pokemon, abilities, moves, and types in every instance, as well as the first word of every sentence. For example:

* When agitated, Togedemaru's fur stands on end.
* The ability Lightning Rod can redirect Electric-type moves.
* The use of Fake Out will flinch the targetted foe.
* Grass-type partners are recommended to beat Ground-type foes.
 
Don't have the time for a full check right now, but here's some initial changes I'd like you to implement:

All
  • Include a space after every asterisk. You've omitted it in some sections.
Overview
  • The initial bullet points are unhelpful. Avoid restating base stats, as they're at the top of the SmogDex anyway.
    • For example, you could rephrase the third point by saying its poor defenses are unhelpful for a supporter.
  • State that Lightning Rod is a big reason to use Togedemaru, as it makes Electric-types think twice.
Set
  • Rename the set to "Support".
  • Move order should be Fake Out > Zing Zap > Nuzzle > Spiky Shield.
    • Fake Out should always goes first, offensive moves go before defensive, and Protect-like moves go last.
  • Remove Adamant.
  • The EVs should be formatted in Showdown-style (4 HP / 252 Atk / 252 Spe).
  • Make sure there's a space after every colon.
Moves
  • Remember to make the points here match the new order on the set.
Set Details
  • Say to use EVs such as 252 HP / 108 Def / 148 SpD with a Careful nature when using Sitrus Berry.
    • Mostly are general bulk, but reduce Tapu Lele's Psychic damage and prevent a KO from Arcanine's Burn Up
Team Options
  • Here you absolutely need to use examples when you bring up types of Pokemon that benefit Togedemaru.
  • Make sure you mention the following:
    • Pelipper - Rain reduces Fire weakness, beats Grass-, Fire-, and Ground-types, benefits from Lightning Rod.
    • Gyarados - Fake Out helps it set up Dragon Dance and, like Pelipper, is protected by Lightning Rod.
    • Tapu Bulu's Grassy Terrain reduces the damage of Ground-types, and it can hit them super effectively.
Other Options
  • Remove Sturdy.
  • Add Assault Vest and Focus Sash.
Checks and Counters
  • Again, you really need at least two or three examples in each header.
  • Merge the Alolan Marowak header into the Fire-types one.
 
* Swagger can be used to give teammates extra power for a support role
Click to expand...

Don't forget to mention that this only works if Tapu Fini is a teammate, as you'll end up confusing your Pokemon otherwise. Also, you forgot to put spaces after the colons. It should look like:

[SET]
name: Support
move 1: Fake Out
move 2: Zing Zap
move 3: Nuzzle
move 4: Spiky Shield
item: Air Balloon / Sitrus Berry
ability: Lightning Rod
nature: Jolly
evs: 4 HP / 252 Atk / 252 Spe
 
1/2 QC Reject

Sorry. I thought I'd give you a second chance after the Araquanid thread you posted, since you showed some interest in improving, but a poor implementation of a half-check is no good given the amount of changes I'd be asking you to make to this analysis. The amount of time I'd have to invest into going over changes multiple times isn't fair on the other writers.
 
Ok Then You pass it on to someone else if you want
I don't care anymore
EDIT:If you really wanna know why Im not that great is because im just a kid. I'm Not 30 years old. I just tell me what is wrong and maybe I woud think about it. I looked at other threads and I tried.
 
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