Doubles Tornadus [QC:2/2] [GP:1/1]

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Reece

Reece

[OVERVIEW]

Tornadus is a niche support Pokemon on rain teams, and Zygarde. Its Flying typing is crucial to beat rain threats such as Rillaboom, Amoonguss, and Tsareena, landing STAB Hurricane with rain-boosted accuracy while resisting their Grass-type attacks. All this support helps teammates like Urshifu-R, Nihilego, and Heatran, which force out the Steel- and Rock-types that Tornadus fears. Urshifu-R under Tailwind, in particular, can also force out Dragon Dance-boosted Kyurem-B, one of Tornadus's biggest checks. Tornadus, however, faces fierce competition from fellow Flying-type Tailwind user Zapdos. Zapdos is bulkier, letting it provide Tailwind for the entire game, and has comparable offensive pressure, better threatening the likes of Volcanion and Tapu Fini with Thunder. Tornadus also relies on rain for its offensive pressure, as both its common attacks depend on rain.

[SET]
name: Tailwind Support
move 1: Hurricane
move 2: Weather Ball
move 3: Tailwind
move 4: Protect
item: Life Orb
ability: Prankster
nature: Timid
evs: 4 HP / 252 SpA / 252 Spe

[SET COMMENTS]

* Hurricane is Tornadus's strongest STAB attack and hits prominent Grass- and Fighting-types like Urshifu-R, Amoonguss, and Rillaboom for super effective damage. It becomes more reliable and threatening under rain because of its perfect accuracy.

* Weather Ball damages Pokemon that resist Hurricane like Nihilego, Diancie, and Heatran in rain.

* Tailwind gives powerhouse teammates such as Urshifu-R and Zygarde immediate speed control with Prankster.

* Protect allows Tornadus to hinder Fake Out attempts and stall out Trick Room turns if needed.

* Life Orb noticeably helps Tornadus blast the likes of Rillaboom, Urshifu-R, and Diancie.

[STRATEGY COMMENTS]
Other Options
=============

Tornadus can use Taunt over Protect to block opposing Tailwind or Trick Room to secure the speed control advantage. Sharp Beak can be used over Life Orb for more longevity while still boosting Hurricane.

[CREDITS]
- Written by: [[Reece, 540482]]
- Quality checked by: [[dnagerbdager, 531334], [Memoric, 215000]]
- Grammar checked by: [[Finland, 517429]]
 
Last edited:
check moment


[OVERVIEW]
  • Give some examples of staples that Tornadus threatens
  • You call Tornadus the "supreme" choice on rain when it really isn't. In fact this is an issue throughout the Overview: You oversell it a lot. Its a Prankster Tailwind user and attacker on rain. Prankster Tailwind is basically the only reason you'd run it on rain, as Zapdos has better bulk, typing, and offensive pressure due to a STAB Thunder. You want to emphasize this throughout the overview. It isn't bad, just outclassed and extremely so. (Zapdos doesn't even run a pivoting move ftr)
  • Prankster Tailwind is good because it offsets opposing Tailwind (for Swift Swimmers) and provides instant speed control for the non-swift swimmers, such as Urshifu-R
  • Tornadus doesn't necessarily threaten Fini too much+rain runs grasses anyways so i'd just cut that example. Grasses are fine
  • Metagross still checks it decently well, Steel Roller is a guaranteed OHKO after LO Recoil. You don't need to include types in this scenario, you can just say "checks such as....." and list the pokemon.
  • You can probs split the line about Weather Ball and Hurricane in two, rn its a bit too cluttered.
  • You reallllllly want to emphasize the advantages I explained earlier zapdos has over tornadus here.
  • You can just say Tornadus is reliant on rain for its offensive pressure, instead of the rain setters being alive.
[SET COMMENTS]
  • You can probably condense both lines into one+remove the specific part about rain setters and just say rain.
  • Weather Ball line is p messy atm. I would do something line mentioning what it hits and then specifying under rain. You will also never be using Weather Ball unless its under rain.
  • For the tailwind line, it helps them outspeed the entirety of the meta, not the majority.
  • You need separate lines for EVs and item, but mention Life Orb's recoil.
[OTHER OPTIONS]
  • Only reasonable one here is Taunt tbh, You decimate Incineroar with Weather Ball and Focus Blast bounces off of Kyube. Nasty Plot isn't good enough to be a sweeper.
  • For Taunt, mention how it prevents opposing Tailwind as well as Trick Room.
Implement and tag when done.
 
q

[OVERVIEW]
  • Explicitly mention how Tornadus is primarily seen on rain teams so you don't leave readers guessing.
  • I don't think you need to specify "non-swift swimmers" because that makes this line kinda too wordy. You could compress it by just saying it provides speed control for its teammates and then mention specifics.
  • I'd cut down the line on how torn beats threats to rain by just saying how it beats Pokemon rain teams would normally struggle with.
  • I wouldn't say Weather Ball "surprises would be checks" because Tornadus basically always has Weather Ball. Just say how Weather Ball under rain beats Pokemon who resist flying.
  • Like I said last time, split the sections about Weather Ball and Hurricane, the sentence really drags on at the moment.
  • The line "as a replacement that has more bulk and offers great offensive pressure that Tornadus does but with an accurate Thunder which makes it easier to nail threats to Rain such as Volcanion and Tapu Fini" is EXTREMELY wordy. You just want to say how Zapdos has better typing, bulk, and offensive pressure thanks to Thunder as simply as possible.
[SET COMMENTS]
  • Again: remove the part about rain setters and just say rain, its unnecessary.
  • Same thing as in the Overview, remove the part about surprising flying resists.
  • You want to say how Tailwind helps your examples outspeed the entirety of the meta instead of just throwing it in there.
  • Cut the part about Tornadus being frail in the EVs line and move the part about LO recoil to the line with Life Orb (not word per word ofc).
[OTHER OPTIONS]
  • Mention the downsides of using Taunt (it means you won't be using any of its other moves)
Remember to make everything coherent: You want to get your point across while making sense throughout.
 
finally getting back to this

[OVERVIEW]
  • Mention what Hurricane hits.
[SET]
  • Say specifically how Hurricane becomes more threatening under rain (perfect accuracy)
  • Same for Weather Ball, you want to say why rain is important for it.
overall the content is fine. Probably needs a 2nd opinion and the wording needs work though

qc 1/2
 
check

Set
  • Explicitly specify that Weather Ball hits common Flying resists in particular
  • You don't have to say that Tailwind is its greatest niche, this should already be specified in the OV so all you really have to say in this section is what the move does. This part is also sorta unnecessarily wordy, could rewrite it a bit.
  • You don't have to mention that LO wears Torn down, it's not really important for offensive mons since they usually get traded quickly enough anyway. You can combine the spread point and LO point since they are essentially about the same thing: maximizing Torn's offensive capabilities.
OO
  • "As a result of this you would lose a slot that you usually cannot afford." is already implied (since it's in OO and should be "not as good", essentially) so you don't have to include this.
This section will need some rewriting. While most of the information here is solid and accurate, the problem that I see here is that they aren't really Overview material or they aren't used to adequately build up to a particular portrayal of Tornadus. An example of points that aren't really Overview material are the parts where you go over Hurricane and Weather Ball; you don't actually go over anything that isn't covered in the following Set Details section. Another example of a point here that isn't really adequate is the first one as it's really vague: you don't really go properly go over why it "stands out" as a good support Pokemon, and saying "convert great offensive pressure against Rillaboom and Incineroar" isn't sufficient because you don't really say how. Getting the first sentence right is important as this is the first sentence the readers will go over; ideally, in one sentence you've painted a great overall picture of Tornadus as a Pokemon, with the following sentences just building on this.

I want you to rework the first sentence to focus on the very specific things that Tornadus brings to the meta as a niche support pick. You've already touched some of it in the second-to-the-last sentence in the current writeup: "Tornadus stands out for having immediate speed control." Focus on this, in conjunction with how it's specifically Rain teams that want it because it's a Flying-type, for reasons that I don't have to elaborate on. The Hurricane point is still usable, too; however, when noting moves in the Overview, as a general tip you have to make sure that you describe the moves in a more pragmatic light. In the case of bringing up Hurricane, something you can do is build on the idea of Torn as a Flying-type, which in the context of Rain is important for resisting Grass, and then mention that Hurricane then specifically hits common Rain checks Rillaboom and Amoong. Writing the Overview in general is a lot about describing the Pokemon beyond stats and whatever its moves hit; its a lot about describing the Pokemon in practice. Keep in this mind when you're rewriting this, and feel free to take inspiration from other Overviews while doing so for other points you can use (Whimsicott's is a good one, it's thematically similar with Torn).

Also, lastly, to adress a particular point you made: don't say that Torn is useful for checking Tapu Fini and perhaps even Volcanion because it's not good enough at that job, it's really a situation check at best as it can easily get taken out due to how frail it is
tag me somewhere when this is implemented
 
sorry for the delay, didnt realize this was checkable

Overview
  • First sentence is great. You don't have to mention that it loses out to Whimsicott though, honestly too specific and it's not that good of a mon anyway. Just say that it's good in rain because of Prankster Tailwind AND the fact that it's a Flying-type (this is the reason why, in practice, it's used over Whimsicott)
  • Rewrite your 4th sentence as appropriate to follow this, the 2nd and 3rd sentences went too specific about Teammates when you haven't even fully built up Tornadus as a Pokemon yet. When you mention that Hurricane beats Grasses, mention also that Torn resists them. When you mention Tailwind, just mention Ursh and Zyg, and then use your 2nd and 3rd sentences.
  • You oversell Weather Ball a lot. It's in actuality not even good enough to be mentioned in this Overview. Remove all the parts about it.

Set Details
  • Tailwind gives powerhouse teammates such as Urshifu-R and Zygarde... - add the bolded part, Tailwind is not just for them specifically but for any "powerhouse" a guy could have on their team
  • In the part about LO, name better examples that Torn can blast. Preferably stuff that Torn hits with Hurricane.
OO
  • Add Sharp Beak.
Tag me when you do this.
 
Add/Fix Remove Comment
[OVERVIEW]

Tornadus is a niche support Pokemon on rain teams, ("stands out" and "niche support" conflict with each other. you can pick one of them, like I did, or split the difference and say for example "is a solid support Pokemon on rain teams") granting Tailwind with Prankster for teammates like (would prefer a non-urshifu example bc you mention it two other times) and Zygarde. Its Flying typing is crucial to beat rain threats such as Rillaboom, Amoonguss, and Tsareena, landing STAB Hurricane with rain-boosted accuracy while resisting their Grass-type attacks. All this support helps teammates like Urshifu-R, Nihilego, and Heatran, which force out the Steel- and Rock-types that Tornadus fears. Urshifu-R under Tailwind, in particular, can also force out Dragon Dance-boosted Kyurem-B, one of Tornadus's biggest checks. Tornadus, however, faces fierce competition from fellow Flying-type Tailwind user Zapdos. Zapdos is bulkier, letting it provide Tailwind for the entire game, and has comparable offensive pressure, better threatening the likes of Volcanion and Tapu Fini with Thunder. Tornadus also relies on rain for its offensive pressure, as both its common attacks depend on rain.

[SET]
name: Tailwind Support
move 1: Hurricane
move 2: Weather Ball
move 3: Tailwind
move 4: Protect
item: Life Orb
ability: Prankster
nature: Timid
evs: 4 HP / 252 SpA / 252 Spe

[SET COMMENTS] (removed brackets around asterisks)

* Hurricane is Tornadus' greatest STAB attack that Tornadus's strongest STAB attack and hits prominent Grass- and Fighting-types like Urshifu-R, Amoonguss, and Rillaboom for super effective damage. This It becomes more reliable and threatening under rain because of its perfect accuracy.

* Weather Ball is a reliable attack under Rain which hits Hurricane resists like Nihilego, Diancie, and Heatran, while being under the influence of Rain being active. nails Pokemon that resist Hurricane like Nihilego, Diancie, and Heatran in rain.

* Tailwind gives powerhouse teammates such as Urshifu-R and Zygarde immediate speed control as it allows them to outspeed the entirety of the meta by doubling their Speed stat. with Prankster.

* Protect allows Tornadus to hinder Fake Out attempts and stall out Trick Room turns if needed.

* The given EV spread maximises Tornadus' offensive pressure in conjunction with Life Orb, maximises the damage output Tornadus has under rain, being able to noticeably Life Orb noticeably helps Tornadus blast the likes of Rillaboom, Urshifu-R, and Diancie. (removed extra line breaks under)

[STRATEGY COMMENTS]
Other Options
=============

Tornadus can use Taunt over Protect in order to prevent opposing Tailwind and Trick Room from being active to ensure speed control of its side of the field. to block opposing Tailwind or Trick Room to secure the speed control advantage. Sharp Beak can be used over Life Orb to maintain Tornadus's longevity, while still boosting its Hurricane damage. for more longevity while still boosting Hurricane. (removed extra line breaks under)

[CREDITS]
- Written by: [[Reece, 540482]]
- Quality checked by: [[dnagerbdager, 531334], [Memoric, 215000]] (fixed spacing in this row)
- Grammar checked by: [[Finland, 517429]]
margaret.gif
1/1 approved; however, please be mindful of redundant information, wordiness, simple mistakes like "for teammates Urshifu-R or Zygarde", and capitalization, as this would likely have been sent back for proofreading if it were longer.
 
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