Despite the title being true, I've had some success with this team, it could be better and I'd like to see it morph into a better team. Without further adieu:
The Lead
Espeon@Choice Scarf
Modest/Sychronize
252 SpA/252 Spe/4 HP
-Psychic
-Signal Beam
-Baton Pass
-Trick
Comments: Everyone seems to expect Specspeon and nobody expects Scarf Espeon. It can survive a Scarf Moltres Fire Blast and 2HKO with Psychic, and 2HKOs pretty much every slow lead. It does, however, lose to Ambipom very hard as Fake Out wrecks me if I use Baton Pass and Pursuit does if I switch, so it's mind games.
Tricking away the scarf usually happens fairly quickly and it still leaves me with a very fast revenge killer of sorts. Baton Pass is also very useful for midgame scouting.
The Support
Claydol@Choice Scarf
Bold/Levitate
252 HP/158 Def/100 SpA
-Trick
-Stealth Rock
-Shadow Ball
-Rapid Spin
Comments: Claydol, the levitating spinner. Helps me out a lot with those spike teams. Double Trick devastates stall teams and Claydol rounds out the second half of the combo. Shadow Ball nails the Ghost types his Psychic typing and spinning capabilities attract like magnets and with 100 SpA EVs, he can 2HKO a non-defensive ghost. Rapid Spin and SR are givens as he is a support poke, and he also functions as a physical wall.
Back Again
Toxicroak@Life Orb
Modest/Dry Skin
252 SpA/252 Spe/4 HP
-Nasty Plot
-Vacuum Wave
-Sludge Bomb
-Dark Pulse
Comments: I've run Toxicroak on nearly every team that I use. I started with NP all the way back in the Shaymin days as catching it with a Sludge Bomb on a switch was priceless. I have since explored all the other sets (including my patented Taunt/Subpunch) and found this one to still be my favorite. Boosted Sludge Bomb kills anything it hits SE and a good portion of everything else. Dark Pulse hits Ghosts and Bulky Psychics like Uxie, and Vacuum Wave OHKOs the likes of Rain Boosted Kabutops and others when boosted. He can easily come in on Bulky Waters, especially because I enjoy tricking them a scarf, locking them in Surf and assuring me either a free boost or Sludge Bomb (I usually use Bomb first because it nails Moltres really hard). He can also clean up very well late game.
The Most Annoying PoS Ever
Clefable@Leftovers
Calm/Magic Guard
252 HP/252 SpD/4 Def
-Encore
-Thunder Wave
-Softboiled
-Seismic Toss
Comments: I used to use Toxic Orb, but I find in this meta, most Toxics are very easy to predict, so I swapped to Leftovers. Thunder Wave helps Toxicroak sweep later by slowing down faster threats, and T-wave + Encore means I can choose what I want to stick them in. This beats the hell out of Subroost Moltres, Subseed Sceptile, and a good portion of special sweepers. Clefable has won me games in the past (it's another hold-over from the Shaymin-era team) and it continues to do so, functioning as the second utility poke, para spreader, and Encorer all wrapped up into a little pink puffball.
The Monster
Rhyperior@Leftovers
Solid Rock/Adamant
252 Atk/252 Spe/4 HP
-Slubstitute
-Rock Polish
-Stone Edge
-Earthquake
Comments: Swapped out Venusaur for this monster. Tried him with a LO at first but I wasn't satisfied with his survivability. More often than not, he'll sub on a switch (thanks to Swellow), get a hit or RP off, usually get a kill or a crippling blow (let Toxicroak finish off Milotic after getting healed by Surf). Then come in and do it again later. The Normal/Flying resist really helps with Swellow and Scyther, although SR takes care of the latter pretty well too. The water weak I get from having Claydol and Rhyperior on the same team is mitigated by both Toxicroak and Clefable taking most Water attacks pretty well. He does leave me a bit weaker to RD, though.
Charlie
Arcanine@Life Orb
Adamant/Flash Fire
252 Atk/252 Spe/4 HP
-Flare Blitz
-Extremespeed
-Morning Sun
-Thunder Fang
Comments: Charlie is the name of my dog, and this dog is an essential member of my team as well. First 3 moves are obvious. Thunder Fang hits waters AND Moltres SE and hits harder than Hidden Power, I also use Para mostly so I don't want Toxic on there. Adamant for more power on Extremespeed, which is extremely needed to check Swellow after Espeon tricks her scarf. Morning Sun on all the free turns he gets, Flash Fire because I don't have a water type to take high powered Fire moves.
Synergies: As mentioned, Clefable's paralysis spread around can facilitate a Toxicroak sweep, as can double Trick by locking bulky waters in Surf. Both Clefable and Claydol are also immune to Spikes and SR, which the latter can spin away, ensuring Arcanine and Toxicroak can do their jobs. This team is all about throwing attacks on switches and wearing people down. Venusaur and Clefable both wear things down with Seed Bomb and Seismic Toss and Espeon always lands a few hits with Psychic all of which facilitate an Arcanine or Toxicroak late-game sweep.
Problems:
Spirit-fucking-tomb: Walls my entire team if it's physically defensive. Encore beats Crotomb 4 times (Pressure) but after that I'm dead unless I can get a Flash Fire Flare Blitz off or Venusaur can get some SDs in without getting WoW'd. I also have 2 Pursuit weaks so max atk tomb or CB tomb cause lots of problems as well. Was considering replacing Venusaur with a Sub Rhyperior just for that...did it and it helps a bit, but Spiritomb is still a huge pain.
Rain Dance: If I don't nail Zen Headbutt Ludicolo with Sludge Bomb on the switch, they run a max speed Uxie, or I predict poorly, I lose as Toxicroak is pretty much my only hope. Then again, most teams have it harder than I do.
More later, but that's the basic jist of it. I haven't done an RMT in a while so I just wanted to do one because I was bored...which ironically was also the impetus for me putting together this team.
The Lead
Espeon@Choice Scarf
Modest/Sychronize
252 SpA/252 Spe/4 HP
-Psychic
-Signal Beam
-Baton Pass
-Trick
Comments: Everyone seems to expect Specspeon and nobody expects Scarf Espeon. It can survive a Scarf Moltres Fire Blast and 2HKO with Psychic, and 2HKOs pretty much every slow lead. It does, however, lose to Ambipom very hard as Fake Out wrecks me if I use Baton Pass and Pursuit does if I switch, so it's mind games.
Tricking away the scarf usually happens fairly quickly and it still leaves me with a very fast revenge killer of sorts. Baton Pass is also very useful for midgame scouting.
The Support
Claydol@Choice Scarf
Bold/Levitate
252 HP/158 Def/100 SpA
-Trick
-Stealth Rock
-Shadow Ball
-Rapid Spin
Comments: Claydol, the levitating spinner. Helps me out a lot with those spike teams. Double Trick devastates stall teams and Claydol rounds out the second half of the combo. Shadow Ball nails the Ghost types his Psychic typing and spinning capabilities attract like magnets and with 100 SpA EVs, he can 2HKO a non-defensive ghost. Rapid Spin and SR are givens as he is a support poke, and he also functions as a physical wall.
Back Again
Toxicroak@Life Orb
Modest/Dry Skin
252 SpA/252 Spe/4 HP
-Nasty Plot
-Vacuum Wave
-Sludge Bomb
-Dark Pulse
Comments: I've run Toxicroak on nearly every team that I use. I started with NP all the way back in the Shaymin days as catching it with a Sludge Bomb on a switch was priceless. I have since explored all the other sets (including my patented Taunt/Subpunch) and found this one to still be my favorite. Boosted Sludge Bomb kills anything it hits SE and a good portion of everything else. Dark Pulse hits Ghosts and Bulky Psychics like Uxie, and Vacuum Wave OHKOs the likes of Rain Boosted Kabutops and others when boosted. He can easily come in on Bulky Waters, especially because I enjoy tricking them a scarf, locking them in Surf and assuring me either a free boost or Sludge Bomb (I usually use Bomb first because it nails Moltres really hard). He can also clean up very well late game.
The Most Annoying PoS Ever
Clefable@Leftovers
Calm/Magic Guard
252 HP/252 SpD/4 Def
-Encore
-Thunder Wave
-Softboiled
-Seismic Toss
Comments: I used to use Toxic Orb, but I find in this meta, most Toxics are very easy to predict, so I swapped to Leftovers. Thunder Wave helps Toxicroak sweep later by slowing down faster threats, and T-wave + Encore means I can choose what I want to stick them in. This beats the hell out of Subroost Moltres, Subseed Sceptile, and a good portion of special sweepers. Clefable has won me games in the past (it's another hold-over from the Shaymin-era team) and it continues to do so, functioning as the second utility poke, para spreader, and Encorer all wrapped up into a little pink puffball.
The Monster
Rhyperior@Leftovers
Solid Rock/Adamant
252 Atk/252 Spe/4 HP
-Slubstitute
-Rock Polish
-Stone Edge
-Earthquake
Comments: Swapped out Venusaur for this monster. Tried him with a LO at first but I wasn't satisfied with his survivability. More often than not, he'll sub on a switch (thanks to Swellow), get a hit or RP off, usually get a kill or a crippling blow (let Toxicroak finish off Milotic after getting healed by Surf). Then come in and do it again later. The Normal/Flying resist really helps with Swellow and Scyther, although SR takes care of the latter pretty well too. The water weak I get from having Claydol and Rhyperior on the same team is mitigated by both Toxicroak and Clefable taking most Water attacks pretty well. He does leave me a bit weaker to RD, though.
Charlie
Arcanine@Life Orb
Adamant/Flash Fire
252 Atk/252 Spe/4 HP
-Flare Blitz
-Extremespeed
-Morning Sun
-Thunder Fang
Comments: Charlie is the name of my dog, and this dog is an essential member of my team as well. First 3 moves are obvious. Thunder Fang hits waters AND Moltres SE and hits harder than Hidden Power, I also use Para mostly so I don't want Toxic on there. Adamant for more power on Extremespeed, which is extremely needed to check Swellow after Espeon tricks her scarf. Morning Sun on all the free turns he gets, Flash Fire because I don't have a water type to take high powered Fire moves.
Synergies: As mentioned, Clefable's paralysis spread around can facilitate a Toxicroak sweep, as can double Trick by locking bulky waters in Surf. Both Clefable and Claydol are also immune to Spikes and SR, which the latter can spin away, ensuring Arcanine and Toxicroak can do their jobs. This team is all about throwing attacks on switches and wearing people down. Venusaur and Clefable both wear things down with Seed Bomb and Seismic Toss and Espeon always lands a few hits with Psychic all of which facilitate an Arcanine or Toxicroak late-game sweep.
Problems:
Spirit-fucking-tomb: Walls my entire team if it's physically defensive. Encore beats Crotomb 4 times (Pressure) but after that I'm dead unless I can get a Flash Fire Flare Blitz off or Venusaur can get some SDs in without getting WoW'd. I also have 2 Pursuit weaks so max atk tomb or CB tomb cause lots of problems as well. Was considering replacing Venusaur with a Sub Rhyperior just for that...did it and it helps a bit, but Spiritomb is still a huge pain.
Rain Dance: If I don't nail Zen Headbutt Ludicolo with Sludge Bomb on the switch, they run a max speed Uxie, or I predict poorly, I lose as Toxicroak is pretty much my only hope. Then again, most teams have it harder than I do.
More later, but that's the basic jist of it. I haven't done an RMT in a while so I just wanted to do one because I was bored...which ironically was also the impetus for me putting together this team.