MoP's Musings v.2

By Aeroblacktyl.
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We're in a Pokemon battle, and we both send out Haxorus. To my dismay, they both show "Haxorus breaks the mold!" In another battle, I see a Nidoking. I hit it 18 times, and I am never poisoned; it Ice Beams me 32 times and gets not a single freeze (it has Leppa Berry). And I come to realize what I miss most in this Poke-world: rivalries.

You can take a long look at Tournament Listings here, but what you'll fail to see are the truly great tournaments. In the good old days, we had these multi-forum RBY IBT tournaments. Or these huge SNEAK tournaments that determined the best. We had to jump through hoops and Poke-arenas and Porygons to be declared the best player. We didn't have friends laying down so you can get a free win, because in these tournaments, it's every man for himself. And they were all great because of the bitterness and the e-hatred and anonymous Internet bullying between all these different and diverse message boards. But nowadays, we're all friends with everyone. Even the French are being respected, as long as there aren't any tournaments that involve the words “War” in it, because they're definitely getting subbed out in that (as IRL history has taught us).

It's cool that you're cool with everyone, but it's boring. After Smogon was formed, and the honeymoon was over, we were on top with no one to question it. Not until Pokerealm came along. Well one thing led to another and now that community is no longer here. Many will say that we totally destroyed that threat, but the rest of us know that Pokerealm was the real winner. They bestowed husk and gene upon us. We all know Pokemon will get stale and then you'll look for any little spark to get going again. If you heard that your prodigal arch-nemesis (the one that you tried to 6-0 but then your sweep backfired and eventually led to your demise) was joining a tournament, you couldn't help but get riled up. You would go to such lengths to own them that you would break the harshest rules and make 7 alts, just so if one of them gets defeated, you'd still be alive and ready to play. But nowadays, people say "gg" and actually mean it. I want to see more "qq", not "gg." People are too afraid to talk big and then fail to back it up, and I can't figure out why they keep forgetting the #1 rule of the Internet: jumpluff is really a dude. But a close #2 that people keep forgetting is that you can act however the fuck you want. There are no repercussions.

The next time you see the douche that beat you in R4 of the Official Smogon Tournament #8 due to Jirachi flinching your paralyzed Choice Magnezone to death (but really what the fuck were you thinking with Choice Magnezone), you better talk so much shit that you're going to get the activity win because he's actually scared you're going to do something crazy like link your mom to goatse with your signature on it. But now who do we have to even have a little battle against? We could try to engage the Pokemon Online community, but they'll win because our server will break, even though Jimbo's fat ass is gone. We could try to engage with the Spanish, but they always break the #1 rule of Pokemon battling: behind jumpluff's girly avatar is a penis, with a close second being: no English, no play.

I guess we could always pick on TU but Eternal is now Smogon's #1 bitch...

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