Where Are They Now? The Stars of Old Smogon

By Fatecrashers.
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Every so often, the average Smogon user will stumble upon the user profile of an old-timer who has an impressive set of badges but is no longer active on the site. The more curious among you may wonder where these former superstars of Smogon are today. Well wonder no longer, because this is the article that aims to dispel all rumors and provide an accurate update on the status of these past leaders and contributors.

The Stars


Crippled by a gambling addiction, this former UU moderator's massive debts finally caught up with him when, en route to a meet-up with fellow Smogoners, he was snatched off the sidewalk and whisked away to an underground purse sweatshop. To this day Caelum toils in chains in an undisclosed location in New Jersey, working off what he owes to the mob by sewing knockoff Guccis for 30 cents an hour.


After completing his degree in theoretical physics, this former Grammar-Prose team leader and super moderator began his scientific career at a government research facility in New Mexico. Unfortunately, Rising_Dusk and his research team soon inadvertently created a rift in the space-time continuum, which led to the facility being overrun with alien life forms from another dimension. Rising_Dusk was last seen being transported to the other dimension in order to confront their leader.


A mathematical genius who was responsible for many of the Pokemon-related formulas that are still in use to this day, X-Act would go on to present a series of popular maths-related documentaries for the BBC, including the widely successful Riemann Zeta Overdrive series, which received a BAFTA, an Emmy for Best Documentary, a Royal Television Society Award, and a Grierson Trust Award; the boxset is available for purchase at bbcshop.com for £24.99.


Sent to the International Space Station to study the effects of weightlessness on tiny screws, this former super moderator was left stranded when the budget cuts to NASA in the following year meant that the United States could not afford to fly him back. TAY is currently indentured to the Russian cosmonauts, and he performs daily happy ending massages in exchange for reconstituted turnip paste, his sole source of sustenance.


Known for being the founder of The Smog, this former moderator decided to take his uproarious brand of acerbic wit and insult comedy on the road. Initial successes in underground comedy clubs led to appearances on podcasts such as Comedy Bang Bang, and eventually guest spots on television programs such as The Soup and Real Time with Bill Maher. Tangerine will be performing at the Varsity Theatre in Minneapolis, MN on April 26th, the Gates Concert Hall in Denver, CO on April 27th, and the Lincoln Theatre in Washington DC on May 2nd.


This former Firebot moderator graduated with master's degrees in computer science and graphic and digital design from the University of Oxford. He now works at Treyarch, and actively contributed to the development of Call of Duty: Black Ops II. Every night he looks at himself in the mirror and weeps softly into a glass of cheap vodka.


Having retired as Smogon administrator and battle server host, Vineon joined the ranks of the Québécois freedom fighters. Vineon's unique talents in diplomacy and intelligence have led to the establishment of an important strategic alliance with President Vladimir Putin of Russia and the re-activation of Front de libération du Québec. They plan to announce their return with an attack on Montreal's Dominion Square on an as yet unknown date.


Unbeknownst to most of Smogon, this former social forums moderator is actually famous Indian Bhangra pop singer Daler Mehndi, who since 1995 has released numerous highly successful albums in India, but is mostly known around the world for his 1998 hit Tunak Tunak Tun, which has enjoyed a resurgence in recent years thanks to the video's popularity on Youtube. After Tunak Tunak Tun became an internet meme, Kumar all but vanished on Smogon, lest his newfound online fame lead to his unwanted exposure on this Pokemon forum.

Blue Kirby

Upon turning 21, this former Smogon administrator and programmer left for his walkabout in the vast outback of Northern Territory, in accordance with the traditional rite of passage that every Australian must strictly follow under penalty of death by Cassowary. He has not been seen since.


A former tournament director turned lawyer, Sonuis began working at a prestigious New York law firm when one day he found a sickly mutt lying outside the doors of his apartment complex. After taking the dog in and nursing it back to health, Sonuis soon found out that this canine had the uncanny ability to sniff out the truth. With the help of his new pet dog Chester, Sonuis has been able to restore justice in some truly baffling cases. Their story is now being developed as a pilot for NBC and is expected to air during the Fall 2014 season.

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