Bad Taste: When CAP Flavor Goes Wrong

By Umbreon Dan and Fuzznip. Art by Plus.
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Tailwind is a move that is only given to Flying-type Pokemon and Suicune, so it doesn't necessarily make sense how a grounded Pokemon is capable of summoning gusts of wind. In fact, Fidgit is probably the opposite of Tailwind! However, there's one trait Fidgit has that would actually make sense for him to use Tailwind: his eight long, large hands.

There are two ways Fidgit can use this move. With Fidgit's long hands and Beyblade-like body, he could easily transform himself into some sort of helicopter or giant windmill to intensify the wind, thus increasing the Speed of his teammates. The other way takes a completely different route and stretches the implementation of Tailwind. Fidgit can use his several hands (he has just enough hands to carry his entire team, thank God) to actually lift his teammates along, which would increase their Speed. This fits the whole idea of Fidgit's concept as a general utility Pokemon.

Focus Punch

Don't worry, I know what you're thinking: "Why can't Fidgit use Focus Punch? He has EIGHT hands!!" To understand this one, you'll need to think outside the box; consider the meaning of the name "Fidgit". To fidget means to move about restlessly, nervously, or impatiently. Does this ring a bell now? How is a restless Pokemon supposed to focus? Betcha didn't think of that!

Fidgit has a very difficult time keeping his hands from flying all over the place and getting tangled up (I don't blame him), so he has trouble focusing. Fidgit remedies this issue by jabbing his hands through the ground and interlocking them so they can't go crazy, leaving one hand out so he has something with which to punch the enemy. After that's been done, Fidgit can finally focus a bit as he has nothing to distract him. Despite Fidgit doing this entire setup just to Focus Punch, he still hits like a pussy. I mean, all that punching ability goes to waste with that lame base 76 Attack stat.



"Let me get this straight... a Steel/Ghost Pokemon with no sign of wings and feathers happens to be able to use FeatherDance? You've got to be kidding me. FeatherDance is basically exclusive to Flying-types, which makes absolutely zero sense on Kitsunoh." You're probably just as confused as I am, but shockingly enough, there is a way, albeit an odd way, that Kitsunoh uses this move. "Lies!"

One of Kitsunoh's main and favorite kind of prey is the flesh of Delibird. As soon as Kitsunoh seeks Delibird, or if Delibird happens to obliviously enter Kitsunoh territory, Kitsunoh will forcibly steal their present bag and devour them in the pursuit. Moments later, all you can see is a Delibird corpse with his feathers still in place. Kitsunoh believe that Delibird feathers are sacred as they have a special power to weaken the opponent's assaults, and will store every single feather they can find in their masks to be used when threatened.


When's the last time you've seen a fox surfing over the ocean? Give me an honest answer. "Never." Yeah, I thought so, so how exactly does Kitsunoh manage to Surf? No Ghost-type has access to Surf, and almost every Steel-type doesn't learn it either. I'll give you a hint, though: do the doggy (foxxy?) paddle.

Since Kitsunoh steal the present bags of foe Delibird, they often receive many potentially useful objects. Kitsunoh will keep any item they believe they can use to help them in certain tasks and will store it behind their masks. One Kitsunoh actually found a surfboard in one of Delibird's presents, and ever since he figured out that he can actually surf on them, Kitsunoh have rigorously searched through Delibird bags to collect them. Believe it or not, every Kitsunoh has their own surfboard stored safely behind their mask and will pull it out when needed.


Sludge Bomb

Apparently, somebody complained about Arghonaut getting Sludge Bomb. Sludge Bomb is primarily given to Bug-, Poison-, and Grass-types, as they are pretty much the only type of Pokemon that make sense to have some sort of poisonous aspect about them. On the other hand, Arghonaut is a different story.

I've never had any beef with this one; it's common knowledge that pirates (Arghonaut is a pirate octopus if you somehow can't tell) always lived in dirty conditions, and I consider Arghonaut to be a scurvy Pokemon. On top of that, octopi are well-known for their ability to spray a form of ink at predators. It's easy to believe that Arghonaut's ink sac could be toxic. Am I right or am I right?


Shield Dust

Only Dustox and Venomoth—two Bug/Flying-type Pokemon who typically stir up dust—get Shield Dust, so why does Cyclohm (an Electric/Dragon-type) deserve the honor of holding such a unique ability? It doesn't seem like Cyclohm carries dust or something similar to that as far as I'm concerned, but hopefully this explanation will clear the clouds (what an awful pun).

Excuse me for sounding a bit nerdy, but clouds are actually made up of particulate matter. Seeing as Cyclohm is a cloud dragon, he would have this matter stuffed in his puffy cloud of greatness. It's safe to say that the matter can resemble dust, so in essence, Cyclohm has a shield (you know, his cloud surrounds him so he's protected) of dust. If you combine shield and dust, what do you get? Shield Dust!

Stun Spore

Like with the issue of Shield Dust, how does Cyclohm use Stun Spore? Stun Spore is pretty much only given to Grass-, Bug-, and Poison-types, as they are the closest kind of Pokemon to resemble nature. Sadly, Cyclohm doesn't carry these characteristics at all.

The deal with this is similar to the Shield Dust problem. With all of the particulate matter stuffed in Cyclohm's cloud, and because Cyclohm has electricity within him, it's probably easy for him to stun his opponents and spore them to induce paralysis. It's almost as if Cyclohm has electric dandruff and he just pelts his opponents to paralyze them.

Trick Room

How exactly does a thunderous dragon use Trick Room, which is pretty much only given to sneaky, tricky looking Pokemon (Ghost- and Psychic-types in other words)? It's actually pretty interesting how Cyclohm uses Trick Room when compared to his Trick Rooming counterparts.

The way this move is used is with these electromagnets that Cyclohm sets up behind both of the opponent's Pokemon. These special magnets heavily repel slow targets and attract fast targets. What this means is that if you have Snorlax on the field, the magnets behind him will increase its Speed immensely, while if your opponent had Aerodactyl, he will have an incredibly hard time moving fast to attack first. After the Trick Room time is up, the magnets drop to the floor and suddenly disappear until Cyclohm revives them with Trick Room.



<Plus-> colossoil gets da rebound
<Plus-> the best basketball player
<Plus-> ever
<Plus-> he's over 8 fucking feet
<Fuzznip> and he's dark


How can Colossoil, a huge land-based narwhal, use U-turn, a move normally reserved for quick-like Pokemon? That's like asking Jimbo to use Quick Attack. I mean, seriously, Colossoil is an enormous fat ass, so it's hard to picture him using a quick U-turn. If you think about it, however, there's a simple explanation to this one. (I'm not exploring how Jimbo actually uses Quick Attack by the way. Sorry for the inconvenience this may cause.)

In case you didn't know, whales are actually able to perform a backflip, and this is exactly how Colossoil would use U-turn. What he does is he goes underground at lightning-speed and basically digs the letter 'U', so as he is about to pop up from the surface, he nails the opponent with his drill and performs a stunning backflip to retreat to the trainer. Occasionally, Colossoil gather up together to practice their backflips. If you are lucky enough to see a pod of backflipping Colossoil, it's quite breathtaking. Oh, and, by the way, flipping whales kill people.



"Okay, so you're telling me that this scrawny shrimp, who doesn't look remotely Fire-type, is capable of scorching his opponents with huge balls of fire?" That's an excellent question! Even though it's hard to believe, this shrimp is fully capable of Overheating his enemies into oblivion. Allow me to explain this difficult-to-understand concept.

Ever heard of barbecue shrimp? Grilled shrimp? Popcorn shrimp? Fried shrimp? Do you see where I'm going with this? Krilowatt was simply born with the ability to fire off flaming balls of fury, as shrimps are always heated up to high levels. I wonder if Krilowatt are hunted by fishermen and exported around the globe so they can be eaten by us. I'm sure they taste good. If you're having Krilowatt for dinner, though, be careful not to—overheat them. Badum-tsh!


So you think Earthquake is just for the hefty Pokemon? Think again. He may look like a shrimp, but Krilowatt is 24 lbs of mussel. Well, muscle. Did you know that, generally speaking, creatures with exoskeletons can lift multiple times their weight? Why didn't we give Krilowatt Seismic Toss...?

Low Kick

The half-pint doesn't even hit two and a half feet. You were expecting Hi Jump Kick? Almost any kick Krilowatt makes could be considered low. Unless you're Diglett.

Elemental Punches

Wigglytuff has nubs of fury. Wooper has a DynamicTail. Krilowatt just likes to punch suckers. You would too if Dugtrio could stretch above you.


This has a very simple explanation. Krilowatt eats Delibird. How else do you propose it would enjoy a meal without removing the feathers first? Krilowatt is a pocket monster, not a pocket monster.

Poison Fang

Hidden in that tiny mouth are little teeth. Arthropods have a pretty nasty bite, and Krilowatt is no exception. The antennae, the barnacles, and the general shell dust usually turn you off long before you get to the mandibles. (Oh, and the Thunderbolts too.)

Sand Tomb

Sand, water, what's the difference? You go to the beach and sometimes you just want to chill out. Nobody wants a torrent coming their way, so you have to make do with what you have. It isn't really a far stretch to go from whirling water to whirling sand. Have you even seen the physics that apply to this world? Seriously. If water can retain a solid shape and defy gravity, sand should be easy.

Draco Meteor/Outrage/Dragon Claw

Before I begin, promise me you won't get a heart attack. I know what's going on in your mind; something along the lines of "How the hell does a shrimp use powerful, draconic attacks in battle?!" I agree that it's pretty odd how a petite, innocent shrimp can summon meteors from the sky or go on a rampage to obliterate his opponent. In fact, I find it pretty funny. There has to be some sort of explanation to this one because this is probably the most controversial flavor move in CAP! This is how he does it:

You know, you probably didn't know this, but Krilowatt is bullied a lot of the time by Pokemon bigger than he, especially by Dragon-types such as Salamence and Dragonite. Now, if you thought these Dragon moves are exclusive to Dragon-types, think again. Krilowatt, desperately trying to stop being bullied around for being pathetic and trying to play with the big boys, even taught himself how to use these obscenely strong Dragon-type moves. During certain points of the day, groups of Krilowatt hide behind trees and bushes to study the aforementioned Dragon-types and how they use their STAB attacks. Krilowatt are very smart, versatile creatures (look at his movepool, for heaven's sake), so they were able to get a good feel of the moves and mastered the techniques soon after. All Krilowatt needs to do now is learn how to use Dragon Dance!


String Shot

Now, come on, that's just gross.

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