The Worst Thing That Has Ever Happened To You

[Bleach]

I lurk this forum from time to time and I have seen many people share accounts of personal events which seem to be immensely challenging at times. Back when I was a senior in high school, I had a nervous breakdown and was diagnosed with both anxiety and depression. At this point in my life I was more or less forced to take perscritpion drugs for the first because I was having multiple daily panic attacks and bouts of severe depression. Gradually I worked my way off the anxiety medication and later the depression medication as well (withdrawal from both was a bitch). About 4 years have passed since that time in my life and while I still exhibit symptoms of both conditions, my life has improved dramatically and the symptoms are much less severe. When I was experiencing the depression for the first time I felt completely isolated and feared that I would give up or even become suicidal. I honestly have no idea how I was able to make it through that time in retrospect, but I am glad to still be here and able to share the story with others. Looking back I feel regret that something negative was able to influence me so profoundly for an extended period of time, yet I do feel stronger having come through all of it and getting back to "normal." With that in mind I have two questions for anyone willing to share...

1. What was the worst thing that ever happened to you/ hardest time in your life?
2. How did you get through it?

 

[MrIndigo]

As mentioned in another thread, my worst experience was after my girlfriend broke up with me, and then spent the next several months toying with me.

It gave me insomnia, and for much of my time I was too miserable to be awake so I started going to bed earlier, which made the insomnia worse. I used to want to go to sleep so badly, that I wished I would never wake up just so I didn't have to deal with the way I felt when I was awake. I stopped doing things I normally would, like playing MtG, going out to the movies or hanging out with friends, etc. Some of my friends were suggesting I was depressed, but I denied it, saying that depression is being miserable for no reason and that I was legitimately upset.

Eventually, my friend Morgan (Katie's new boyfriend) asked me if I knew how they classified clinical depression. He linked me to a copy of the criteria from the DSM4, and I was shocked at how well the symptoms described what I was doing at the time. A short time after that, I eventually went down to my local doctor and had a chat with him about it, mentioning that I didn't want to go onto antidepressants. Around the same time, Katie had cut off contact (after telling me that me being sad was making her feel guilty and I should be more considerate of her).

Just seeing the doctor once or twice to talk made a big difference (he's retired now, but he was an excellent doctor, and was very easy to talk to), but the one notable moment I remember before I made a rapid recovery was that a friend of mine I had always admired and respected was on an acid trip around her birthday, and she told me that I should take acid, because it helps you see the whole pattern of the universe, and I'd realise that all this Katie stuff didn't matter. She also said that she wished Future-Me could come and tell me how good things would get, because I'm a good person and good things will happen to me, even if they weren't Katie-shaped. Her words made a big impact on me.

I got lucky, as far as depression goes. I recovered almost spontaneously, just after talking to someone new about it. The whole experience matured me dramatically in a short space of time, so in a way, while being the worst thing to ever happen to me, it was also one of the best because it made me into the person I am today, and without it I would be decidedly less awesome and decidedly more naive.

EDIT: Depression being a recurring problem with most sufferers, it's also helped me recognise the warning signs of another anxiety bout, and so I can make some arrangements to deter it. Including keeping my sleep patterns regular. Despite living at home, my parents never actually found out that I had it, and still don't know to this day. (Although I think my mum might have had an inkling).

 

[tempeststorm34]

My worst experience was having severe OCD. In retrospect it doesn't seem like such a big deal. It was about a 1 1/2 years ago, and during that time I had trouble just doing day-to-day tasks. I had immense trouble doing my homework, because everything had to be done a certain way, and my handwriting had to be perfect. I also thought that I was going to go to hell, and that scared me. Very fortunately, though, my therapist helped me enough that I was functioning more or less normally in 2, maybe 3 months' time. My parents and my therapist praised me for being "strong" and "brave" to be able to defeat my OCD that quickly, but I never felt like I did much. It still gives me trouble sometimes, but I would say I just like things to be nice and germ-clean, not obsessive-compulsive.

 

[Steeler]

probably my parents divorcing when i was 8, because of the far-reaching effect it has had into my life. i'd be a different person today. probably for the better.

 

[bearsfan092]

This one happened recently. There was a kid I knew who had seizures and I baby sat him fairly often until about 6 months ago. He died two days ago. Really sucked. Only 12 years old at time of death and right after Christmas and everything.

 

[AJers]

As mentioned in another thread, my worst experience was after my girlfriend broke up with me, and then spent the next several months toying with me.

Haha, emotional warfare, that sucks! (completely off topic, but...)

Never assume an ex doesn't have power over you, they're the best emotional terrorists out there. I have a friend who will sleep with her boys closest friends behind his back and then throw it in his face during the break-up, or she will sleep with and/or hang out with his friends after the break-up (just to drive him crazy). It's amusing because she totally comes across as a complete sweetheart until you get to know her and her devious ways. I can't wait until she runs into a guy who is wise to her ploys from the start, I think it would be her first instance of "true" love, since up until then every guy usually plays right into her hand.

Although, to be fair to the guys, it's really rare that their friendship completely dies after running into her, even if it does go a little stale.

 

[Oddish On Fire]

Probably the worst things that have ever happened to me would be my parents divorce or the string of suicides in my family. For the first one, my dad hit most of us, so my mom divorced him and the whole thing really affected most of my early years, because my mom and dad were constantly battling over custody. I wanted to live at my dad's after he really became a better person, so a few times I ran away to his house, but each time the cops came. This, in turn, made living at my mom's pretty shitty because she was quite unhappy with me, and really was a crazy bitch. One time, she called the cops after I set a lamp on the floor because she said I threw it against the wall. (Wierd, because the lamp was fine.)

In '07 my Grandpa drowed himself after failing to kill himself by jumping off a dam. Then, in '08 around the same time my uncle shot himself. Both of these deaths were on my mom's side, so she took it quite hard, especially since her other brother killed himself by jumping off a building in his early twenties. So, with half of my mom's family dead, she had a hard time coping, and still is. It's not really the suicides that affects me, but more my mom's behavior since.

 

[Marionic]

So many nominiess...so many to choose from...*sigh*. I'll give one for real-life, and one internet one (though the internet one will be MUCH harder).

For the Real-Life One, it's a tie between me running away from home, and that one HUGE family fight I had recently...I think the family fight was much worse, since there was like blood everywhere. I was surprised it stopped, but I don't want to describe it in detail. It's too upsetting (at least to me).

Now for the Internet one...honestly, I could name dozens of hundreds of examples here. I can get suicide thoughts REALLY easily; so easily, infact, that even the smallest and most minor of such stuff can verge me on that situation. Reading news can make me wanna jump off a cliff; reading threads and comments and "constructive critism" can make me wanna crack my skull...oh my goodness. But I do know that one of the worst was Smogon related. It was an RMT, and I got heavily critizied for it. It wasn't the first team I created, but it was the first that I decided to put up for rating. I didn't put up previous teams to rate simply because I was too scared. Sure enough, I should never have posted that RMT in the first place. Just thinking about me makes my eyes almost watery, *sniff*, like right now.

 

[Eraddd]

Tie between shit happening in middle school and shit happening in high school. I think middle school would be worse because it did leave me traumatized and socially destroyed within me.

 

[MrIndigo]

Tie between shit happening in middle school and shit happening in high school. I think middle school would be worse because it did leave me traumatized and socially destroyed within me.

No details?

 

[-Broderick-]

I've had a pretty good life so far, and only have had one period of time that has been very hard for me.

So in 3rd grade, I was diagnosed with tourettes. That was hard, since before that, I didn't know what was wrong with me, and my parents and all my peers just kept telling me to shutup whenever I was having a bout of my symptoms (usually a facial tic, or a high pitched sort of squeak noise). It left me pretty socially scarred, and I still haven't recovered from that. Ever since, I've always been very insecure and self-consious.

Then in 6th grade, I transferred out of my public school and went to a private middle school where there were less kids, and was more academically challenging. Just what I needed, or so my parents thought. I hardly managed to pass the 6th grade there, and then about a month through the 7th grade, my tourettes got to a point where I had to drop out and do a homeschooling program for the next two years. I had a cheek biting tic which basically callused up skin inside my mouth, and was extrememly painful, but I couldn't do anything about it. I felt like everyone was staring at me, thought I was a freak... (which is where the insecurity from past years comes in to play) but after leaving, and talking to my friends that went there for the whole thing, nobody really thought I was strange. If anything, they took pity on me. (which consequently didn't make me feel any better) So during 7th and 8th grade doing the homeschool program, my tourettes basically vanished with the stress of school eliminated, but now that I've started public high school they've come back a bit. I guess it's been a pretty long period in my life.

 

[gaudetjaja]

Worst thing in my life would be the death of my mother like half a year ago. Especially the death itself was kinda traumatizing and there will always be that pesky little feeling of guilt, even though everyone's pretty sure it couldn't be helped, my mind thinks so too but my feeling sometimes doesn't. Anyway, she had a heart attack. I saw everything, so did my cousin from Spain who came over for vacation...

Now for the Internet one...honestly, I could name dozens of hundreds of examples here. I can get suicide thoughts REALLY easily; so easily, infact, that even the smallest and most minor of such stuff can verge me on that situation. Reading news can make me wanna jump off a cliff; reading threads and comments and "constructive critism" can make me wanna crack my skull...oh my goodness. But I do know that one of the worst was Smogon related. It was an RMT, and I got heavily critizied for it. It wasn't the first team I created, but it was the first that I decided to put up for rating. I didn't put up previous teams to rate simply because I was too scared. Sure enough, I should never have posted that RMT in the first place. Just thinking about me makes my eyes almost watery, *sniff*, like right now.

Yes, internet stuff can sometimes spoil my day. I keep trying to think 'it's just the internet' but that pesky little feeling just doesn't go away until I have a good night sleep and forget about it the day after... I think the best to do is to lay off internet for a while after something like that has happened (or at least avoid 'risky' stuff). How to avoid that feeling, I have not a clue.

It's comparable to the feeling when someone in real life says something that's really insulting or makes you feel really embarrassed, but you have no idea or opportunity how to retaliate.

 

[Marionic]

Worst thing in my life would be the death of my mother like half a year ago. Especially the death itself was kinda traumatizing and there will always be that pesky little feeling of guilt, even though everyone's pretty sure it couldn't be helped, my mind thinks so too but my feeling sometimes doesn't. Anyway, she had a heart attack. I saw everything, so did my cousin from Spain who came over for vacation...



Yes, internet stuff can sometimes spoil my day. I keep trying to think 'it's just the internet' but that pesky little feeling just doesn't go away until I have a good night sleep and forget about it the day after... I think the best to do is to lay off internet for a while after something like that has happened (or at least avoid 'risky' stuff). How to avoid that feeling, I have not a clue.

It's comparable to the feeling when someone in real life says something that's really insulting or makes you feel really embarrassed, but you have no idea or opportunity how to retaliate.

Unfortunatly, as you can see, a good night sleep won't do any good for me. And I can't let a day pass without going to the internet! Lack of it would drive me nuts!

 

[gaudetjaja]

Unfortunatly, as you can see, a good night sleep won't do any good for me. And I can't let a day pass without going to the internet! Lack of it would drive me nuts!

I don't want to appear to be playing the therapist here, but I do think you need some distraction then, and I want to suggest you take up another hobby, like a sport, an instrument... perhaps, learn another language or do some kind of course or something like that (I once tried to learn Japanese, now that didn't go too well but you can do better!).

Not sure if it's possible for you, but try to get into some kind of an exchange program. They really are awesome, and I am not a 'people's person' at all, but you do make friends in those.

You don't have to stop internetting, but you can both reduce the amount of time and attention you spend on it.

 

[Marionic]

I don't want to appear to be playing the therapist here, but I do think you need some distraction then, and I want to suggest you take up another hobby, like a sport, an instrument... perhaps, learn another language or do some kind of course or something like that (I once tried to learn Japanese, now that didn't go too well but you can do better!).

Not sure if it's possible for you, but try to get into some kind of an exchange program. They really are awesome, and I am not a 'people's person' at all, but you do make friends in those.

You don't have to stop interneting, but you can both reduce the amount of time and attention you spend on it.

I play the piano and violin, and my interest on them (especially violin) has dramatically decreased. And trying to learn another language that's not Spanish (learning that in school) or Korean (my heritage) would require internet access. Infact, most distractions would involve internet in anyway shape or form.
I almost guarranteed my spot in this People and Places summer thing (the country was Austrailia), but my father talked me out of it.

 

[Blightbringer]

finding the internet

 

[McGrrr]

I was lazy and complacent during my A-Levels, and deservedly underachieved. Consequently, I attended an average university instead of Cambridge. This has closed many doors to me, but I have no regrets. Suffice it to say that things have a way of working out.

 

[Thorns]

you are a poor knock off of galactic boss cyrus

well my life has been pretty damn good but also pretty damn short so the worst thing that ever happened to me was probably the string of deaths in my family for the first 9 years of my life. I was pretty young and naive so it didn't really affect me much but looking back on it now it sucks

 

[Destiny100]

I must say, my parents, friends and girlfriends weren't the cause of the worst moment of my life.
I brought it upon myself.
I lost a pokemon battle =( .

Okay, not really.
Three incidents that happened to me where I got seperated from my parents with/without my sister.

When I was 4, I got serepated from my dad in Eden Square in Newcastle. First time I was on my own, I was so scared and afraid someone was going to kidnap me. I cried and cried, but eventually a security guard found me and also found my dad.
Reason we got seperated was because I was eager to get to a toy store, I meant the Teddy bear store (yeah I'm manly I know) but my dad ended up going to the disney store which was at the time on the other side of the massive store. Yeah, it sucked ='(, I was terribly afraid.

The second time I got lost was when I was 7 or 8. I was in Metroland in Newcastle Upon Tyne. My mum just had my sister, and I wandered, lost again >.<. I shat myself again (not literally), you'd think I'd have learned by now but whey-hey. So that was another horrifying experience at what I thought was a reasonably early age.

Finally, the most recent incident was in Paris 2 years ago when I was 14. My family and moi were sight-seeing and generally having a good time.
Because I was the only person who could understand and speak french, I lead the way for most of our expeditions ^^.
But, one day, when we were getting the Paris Metro? Or underground tube, I was ahead and my parents got on a different metro. God, I wasn't prepared and we were seperated again. I was pretty sure my parents had enough common sense to stay where they were as they knew I could look after myself by now and could understand french.
So I set out to look for them, I had to go back on the return train, then find out what train my parents went on. Eventually after 2-3 hours I found them. But being alone in France was scary I must say. My french wasn't brilliant. I learned to say "Tu parle anglais"? which was all I needed most of the time O=).

But, yeah, I brought the worst experiences upon myself. But I'm also very fortunate I never had worse experiences as some people have posted here. My parents have been married 17 years and still happy. And I've always ended relationships with girlfriends on good terms. =D.

 

[gaudetjaja]

I play the piano and violin, and my interest on them (especially violin) has dramatically decreased.

I don't know how good you are, but joining something like a band or orchestra could help getting you more interested. By playing the trumpet more often I got myself more motivated; the more you play, the less you suck and the funner it becomes.

 

[Eraddd]

No details?

Lots of bullying, social outcast etc, the old stuff. Left me socially awkward (which is a bit better now). High school was just whole pile of shit with drama that I wish I never got myself into. Lots of petty little fights (that unfortunatley i was part of in one, which I now regret.)

 

[BigPDaMonsta]

the hardest thing I ever had to do was finally, after much time debating it while slowly dying, telling my family about my drug addictions and quitting the dangerous ones cold turkey at the same time...

 

[th3anarchist]

Not gunna go into much detail. I was four, stuck my finger in a moving blender, chopped part of my pinky, ring finger and middle finger off. Went to the hospital to get them re-attached. I cried through the entire procedure since they didnt knock me unconscious.

 

[Ivysaur]

I guess I'll have to say it was the divorce of my parents..

I was about 4 or 5 when it happened, so naturally I didn't notice them arguing or any of that because I was just happy and carefree at the time. I was living in New Brunswick when it happened, which is where I was born. One day my dad told me he was leaving and I wouldn't see him very often. I didn't really understand, being so young, so I guess it didn't sink in at the time. I sometimes wonder if my brother (Who was 6-7) ever noticed what was going on or knew what was happening, but I've never really talked to him about it. I figure it bothers him as much as it still bothers me anyways.

After I finished Kindergarten my family had to move all the way to Ontario because my mom found a better job to support us, since my dad was the more wealthy one.. and he wasn't around anymore. I had to leave my first ever friends to come to some small town and be even farther away from the rest of my relatives. Going to school was probably the worst part, because back then I was reaallly shy (I still kinda am) and I started the school year late because I had refused to go under the current conditions. I started sometime after christmas break IIRC.. My mom had remarried. I really don't like my step dad.. He's a huge deadbeat who doesn't work and smokes pot all day. Its pretty immature of me but a huge reason I don't like him is because he could never replace my real dad, as much as my mom wants that.

Anyways its been like 10 years and I'm still not really over it. Recently it's become a lot worse because I just got back from visiting my father in Florida, and seeing him reminded me how much I miss him. I don't even remember a time I had any family celebration with both my parents, because I was too young to remember. Its either with my mother or my father.. And his new family. I hate seeing my stepmom because I even now I blame her for breaking up my parents..

Well my mom just came in and saw me crying after writing all this so I guess I'll stop here.

 

[akuchi]

1. was raped
2. actually went to see the man that raped me just before NYE. he didnt remember me. he is still a junkie and was living in a council flat with all the lights off because there was a warrant out for his arrest and he is scared of prison. smoking smack in a small dark room with no food. my mate gave us a couple of minutes alone and I went and sat by him and looked him in the eyes, which is rare for me anyway being an autist cunt, and reminded him who I was and what he'd done. it was a very liberating feeling to be able to look at what was a very sad pathetic little man after having a nice chat with him about my life and uni (didnt remember me, so we were talking normally beforehand as though we'd just met) and say 'yeah, you raped me'. he got very upset and was begging me to leave. it was a very nice power reversal. i heard from the same friend that knew him that he was arrested a couple of days later. whilst I have maaaany problems now, i am at uni and vaguely sane and not a junkie, so I feel all nice and superior and havent been scared or PTSD-esque since.