User 43539
Banned deucer.
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andrea
/me cresselias
Okay, I understand that it's really hard to make new friends. I'm in the same situation at college. And it pretty much sucks at first. Heck, I'm in my second semester and I still only have three people that I actually talk to on a regular basis.
But lemme just say that you are in eigth grade- thinks get all twisted around when you get into high school. Cliques and friends change like crazy. You will fit in. Don't be so negative! Branch out, join a club or a sport or maybe even the band or choir. When you meet peolple with the same interests, you already have at least one thing you can talk about. Being in a smaller group will make people more interested in talking to you. They'll wanna know why you decided to join and what not.
But lemme just say that you are in eigth grade- thinks get all twisted around when you get into high school. Cliques and friends change like crazy. You will fit in. Don't be so negative! Branch out, join a club or a sport or maybe even the band or choir. When you meet peolple with the same interests, you already have at least one thing you can talk about. Being in a smaller group will make people more interested in talking to you. They'll wanna know why you decided to join and what not.
as above
you can't make anybody like you, and maybe the reason they don't has something to do with your own expectations
read through your own op; if you don't find yourself coming across as up yourself then i don't think you have much hope
on the other hand, getting knocked down a notch or two in this sort of way at that age is probably exactly what you need right now
this isn't a crisis, learn to deal with it
you can't make anybody like you, and maybe the reason they don't has something to do with your own expectations
read through your own op; if you don't find yourself coming across as up yourself then i don't think you have much hope
on the other hand, getting knocked down a notch or two in this sort of way at that age is probably exactly what you need right now
this isn't a crisis, learn to deal with it
I switched schools in 7th grade (essentially the same thing >_>) and I had no friends probably for a good half a semester. Then football (soccer) tryouts happened and I made friends with this cool guy Nick (now one of my best friends) and Jared (also one of my best friends). Find something you like, find people that like the same things, like the people and you're friends. :)
Also what current cookie said above. not a crisis, you can deal with it.
Also what current cookie said above. not a crisis, you can deal with it.
It'll probably be a while before you do find a group of good friends to be around again, but you really should just keep at it. And, ofcourse, the whole 'don't change for other people' thing applies somewhat, but don't be affraid to try something new. Speak with 'different' people or take part in something you've been interested in but might not have tried before. This is basically a clean slate, and perhaps trying to replicate what you had before is impossible.
From what you've said about yourself at your old school, you don't sound like a social reject, so friends should come eventually.
From what you've said about yourself at your old school, you don't sound like a social reject, so friends should come eventually.
Yeah it sucks for a while man, but you are letting it suck. I moved in 8th grade too during the middle of the year and I hated my new city but only because I was away from my buds. Once I got to know people and had friends it was so much better. Just hang in there, wait till high school where everyone will be in the same boat and everything will be a lot better.
You obviously won't have any really close friends at first. Instead, just try to build a good foundation of friendships and relationships which you can then build upon. Maybe you'll hit it off with someone, or perhaps you'll be able to meet someone else through them with whom you'll mesh well with. None of that can happen unless you try, though! Just be yourself!
Further agreeing with the above, but I'd like to add something-- It's not just you. Eighth is generally a really tough year to get through.
Just be yourself, you'll make friends eventually. While you'll probably never have people "fighting over you" again, you'll meet someone. Or multiple someones. And there's going to be a lot of new people next year, so don't freak out.
Good luck.
Just be yourself, you'll make friends eventually. While you'll probably never have people "fighting over you" again, you'll meet someone. Or multiple someones. And there's going to be a lot of new people next year, so don't freak out.
Good luck.
Join the tennis team next year! 8D It keeps you so busy you don't have time for friends even lol.
yeah, to repeat everybody else, get used to this; you're not always going to have a dedicated circle of friends to fall back on, and eighth grade is the perfect time to adjust to that. If you want to make friends, you have to be friendly; seems simple because it is. Don't go out of your way to draw attention to yourself, but let other people naturally adapt to you over time; they will. You can't just rely on the support of all your own friends--facebook's ok, but don't let it be your only social outlet. The trick with getting people to like you, btw, is to be self-confident and communicative but also not a dick. And when we say "be yourself" we don't mean sit around and draw/write by yourself (aka "expressing yourself") or go home and play video games all day--we mean don't just blindly assimilate in order to gain some level of comfort. You have to be confident even when you're not; trust me, I--and probably most of the people here, if not all of them--have been in the same position as you before. Just hang in there. Don't do anything stupid, don't become a recluse, and it'll all work out. Act boldly and unseen forces will come to your aid...
It only sucks if you let it.
It only sucks if you let it.
At the risk of sounding cliché; just be yourself. If people don't like you for who you are, then why would you want to be their friend? Branch out; talk to people instead of waiting them to talk to you. Besides, the year is over half-way done and then you're on to high school. And trust me, it's a lot less cliquey and ridiculous and by then most people have matured a little.
Keep your head up. School is just preparing you for real life. When you're out in the real world, not everyone is going to want to be your bestest friend.
Keep your head up. School is just preparing you for real life. When you're out in the real world, not everyone is going to want to be your bestest friend.
Looks like you've forgotten how to make friends. You were such good friends with your old ones that you didn't really have to remember how to make new ones.
Be yourself and hang out with a few people casually. Build your network from there and eventually things will fall into place. If you can join a sport or activity, it makes everything so much easier.
Be yourself and hang out with a few people casually. Build your network from there and eventually things will fall into place. If you can join a sport or activity, it makes everything so much easier.
Same thing happened to me, kind of. Except people didn't fight over who got to hang out with me, as you point out was the case with you. I never recovered from it. I've been at the very bottom of the social ladder ever since. You better hope that doesn't happen to you.
It's probably just the new kid syndrome. I moved every 6 months when I was younger so I went through it a lot. It's kind of scary trying to put yourself out there when you don't know anyone, and you feel like a total outsider. It's easy to just assume that everyone is unfriendly because you feel left out, but really, you can't stereotype people. Sure there are going to be a lot of assholes, but you can't let that stop you.
Your best bet is to just find something that you enjoy doing and try to relate to your peers through that. For me it was going to local punk shows. When I first got into high school, I didn't know anyone, but when I started going to shows every weekend I ended up with so many friends that I can't even name all of them. Of course, you might not find yourself a best friend, but it's a start. If you're not into the music scene there are plenty of other things you could do. Try out for a sports team, join a debate club, if you're interest in card games like YuGiOh, MTG, or Pokemon, you could start playing weekly at a nearby venue and see if you can meet people from your school there. Or better yet, explore the school and see if you can find people playing in the hallways. I went to 4-5 different high schools growing up and I ALWAYS found a spot where people gathered to play Magic at lunch.
Also, watch out for the whole peer pressure/bad influence thing. In my example of going to shows I met a lot of cool people that I could relate to but I also started getting into a lot of trouble...So even if you don't go into the same kind of environment that I did where drugs and alcohol are really prominent, just remember to be yourself, don't succumb to pressure just to fit in. Honestly, people will respect you way more if you don't try to act the part. I learned that the hard way when I started smoking cigarettes because I felt awkward being the only non smoker, and I had one guy full on tell me to my face that he thought I was the coolest guy there because I was the only one who didn't smoke, and that he lost his respect for me.
So yeah...hope that helps :)
Your best bet is to just find something that you enjoy doing and try to relate to your peers through that. For me it was going to local punk shows. When I first got into high school, I didn't know anyone, but when I started going to shows every weekend I ended up with so many friends that I can't even name all of them. Of course, you might not find yourself a best friend, but it's a start. If you're not into the music scene there are plenty of other things you could do. Try out for a sports team, join a debate club, if you're interest in card games like YuGiOh, MTG, or Pokemon, you could start playing weekly at a nearby venue and see if you can meet people from your school there. Or better yet, explore the school and see if you can find people playing in the hallways. I went to 4-5 different high schools growing up and I ALWAYS found a spot where people gathered to play Magic at lunch.
Also, watch out for the whole peer pressure/bad influence thing. In my example of going to shows I met a lot of cool people that I could relate to but I also started getting into a lot of trouble...So even if you don't go into the same kind of environment that I did where drugs and alcohol are really prominent, just remember to be yourself, don't succumb to pressure just to fit in. Honestly, people will respect you way more if you don't try to act the part. I learned that the hard way when I started smoking cigarettes because I felt awkward being the only non smoker, and I had one guy full on tell me to my face that he thought I was the coolest guy there because I was the only one who didn't smoke, and that he lost his respect for me.
So yeah...hope that helps :)
Find your place. If you're a jock, try out for a team. Dunno if you can this late in the year, but maybe next year. If you're a computer nerd, try and find the nerds, and etc. If you have a special talent, such as a musical talent, exploit that. It's not that hard. I'm sure you can find a few new best friends in high school this year or next year. You're only in 8th grade, it's not that huge. It's not like moving in your junior or senior year.
I'm 17 and I've been in 19 different schools since the 1st grade and lived in 14 houses, 11 counties, 6 states, and 3 countries. I know what this is like. It sucks but you have to understand that you would do the same thing in their position. You would be friendly with the new kid, see what he had to offer, and then make a final decision. A month and you're complaining? It takes people years to get used to other people. Because I wasn't really connected to any place (even now I live 5 miles from school), I have had a chance to advance myself as a person much more than other people. I may be strange to some people, but I am always respected. That means more than a clique of friends. Respect stays. Cliques changes from day to day. Earn the respect of your new classmates, join their friend circles, and do your homework. I cannot stress doing homework enough. Doing homework makes you look responsible and gives you something to talk about when you don't know a person. Small talk from this can lead to long-term relationships, many of them more fulfilling then your run-of-the-mill "I'm good enough to be your friend" relationships. You have to actively make yourself interesting enough to talk to (homework) or find something interesting about someone else (so much harder) or else you won't get the attention you want.
Joining sports and clubs is a great way to meet people. I usually stop any hobby for a month when I move to a new house just so I can get to know the neighborhood.
You have to understand that your old friends will go away with time. Many people don't know what happened to their high school and college friends. Running home to Facebook is a poor option. However, if you're going to do this, then friend your new classmates. Look at their posts and figure out what they like to do.
You have to be more active, less desperate, and more understanding of what your classmates are dealing with. Once you understand that, you'll have made several good friends already.
Joining sports and clubs is a great way to meet people. I usually stop any hobby for a month when I move to a new house just so I can get to know the neighborhood.
You have to understand that your old friends will go away with time. Many people don't know what happened to their high school and college friends. Running home to Facebook is a poor option. However, if you're going to do this, then friend your new classmates. Look at their posts and figure out what they like to do.
You have to be more active, less desperate, and more understanding of what your classmates are dealing with. Once you understand that, you'll have made several good friends already.
Have you thought to look for smogonites in your area?
Otherwise yeah, go with joining a club of people with similar interests. Or else just talk to as many people as possible.
Otherwise yeah, go with joining a club of people with similar interests. Or else just talk to as many people as possible.
8th Grade was a long time ago for me but I do remember that when i went to high school I got completely new friends anyway then again in my junior year and again in my senior year. Now the people I still talk to are a mix of people from all the years and some others I have met since the then. The key to making friends is not caring if you do or not. Like what you like and the people looking for the same thing will just be there. If you build it they will come and all the jazz.
Hi borracho,
That's a good piece of advice. I had the same problem when I was an 8th Grader, I had to shift to a new place, it took me some time to adjust there and make myself feel comfortable. We used to have projects and this was the time that I had to work with three of them. It went so well that we are best friends and still hangout together.
So stick in there and it will not be long before you will have some good friends there, but the thing that you should keep in mind is that you remain as you are and act normally 
.
That's a good piece of advice. I had the same problem when I was an 8th Grader, I had to shift to a new place, it took me some time to adjust there and make myself feel comfortable. We used to have projects and this was the time that I had to work with three of them. It went so well that we are best friends and still hangout together.
So stick in there and it will not be long before you will have some good friends there, but the thing that you should keep in mind is that you remain as you are and act normally .- Status