Serious What should we do about bullying?

[Moneyminty]

What im getting from you guys responses is pretty much, "lets baby the vitcims and cast aspersions on the bullies" Man. Weak emotional and physical people get bullied. I know many puny people who bully big people and many unintelligent people who bully smarter individuals. YOU are the reason for being or not being bullied! There are many ways to represent yourself and also ways out of getting bullied. I hate people who sit back and cry in pitty. If you dont have the will to stand up for yourself, stay getting bullied then. Only a very few cases are in need of outside intervention to the situation.
Cold world, no snuggie tho - J.Cole

 

[BKC]

the amount of tough guys on this forum really gets my testosterone flowing

 

[GatoDelFuego]

I don't understand why people say "stop complaining about bullies, just MAN UP like I did, bullying MADE MY LIFE BETTER." I was bullied as a child and all until high school and it sucked. Nothing else. I wasn't ever physically bullied, but I was teased and tormented for many, many years. You know what? It didn't improve my life ONE BIT. I just learned to ignore what people said, but being bullied certainly didn't convince me to toughen up and take a stand for myself. Sure, I've become less susceptible to bullying now as a result of my age I'm sure, but that's not because I WAS bullied. That's because I just wanted to become a mature person. Who cares if bullying encouraged you to stand up for yourself? The world isn't comprised of just you.

I'm not trying to say that, although my post comes off a little weird.
I do firmly hate most bullies and what they do, it can be very cruel sometimes.
But people making bullying nonexistant wouldn't be ideal either. Have you seen young kids today? Some run around doing whatever they want because nobody stops them. Some weaker kids also need partial bullies; without a reason to become stronger or to stand up for themself, some can't handle the challenges they face in the future(nothing too mean but just a little). By learning how to deal with problems early in life, you can be better prepared for your future.
But yes, I agree now, poor choice of wording there. .___.
I meant to post that to the effect of, if you remove bullies completely you are just not allowing your kids to learn how to fully survive, prosper and be successful when facing challenges in life, which could set some up for failure in the future in that they will be faced with issues and not have learned how to solve problems. If parents remove bullies from school, they'll still see them when they grow up and leave home. Basically, find a happy medium between bullying and over protection.

I've thought about this and I still just can't agree with it. As I said above, bullying is BAD. It's not good in small amounts, it's bad. Bad, bad, bad. People learning to stand up for themselves does NOT need to be just from being bullied, and if we want to teach self-confidence, we should do it without "allowing" kids to torment each other. If kids "run around doing whatever" then we should fix that with authority and teaching people what's right, not encourage kids to establish dominance over one another. I don't think there should be a balance between bullying and overprotection at all, I think it should be a balance between moral teachings and overprotection. Bullying is bad and it should not have a place in our world.

I know this isn't very fitting with the thread of fixing bullying, but we can't eliminate it as long as some people still think it's a good thing.


Edit Moneyminty you are not edgy or cool for saying that only weak people are bullied. I don't know if you fit the example I described above about bullying toughening you or something, but you need to drop this "strong and weak" mentality.

 

[Moneyminty]

Im not a tough guy, was once bullied actually being a kid who was advanced a grade ahead. Learned how to stand up for myself tho.
I look at bullying like Martin Luther King Jr. did. If you want something to change, dont just sit around and blame everyone else. YOU have to change, and stand up for yourself.
Life is too short ask Gary Coleman - J. Cole

 

[WaterBomb]

I wasn't ever physically bullied, but I was teased and tormented for many, many years. You know what? It didn't improve my life ONE BIT.

Perhaps it did improve your life, just not in ways you can quantify? I'm willing to bet there are parts of you, conscious or subconscious, that have directly benefited from your past bullying. I know it's often hard to see improvements and positives through severe pain and suffering, but trust me they are there whether you acknowledge them or not :)

 

[GatoDelFuego]

Perhaps it did improve your life, just not in ways you can quantify? I'm willing to bet there are parts of you, conscious or subconscious, that have directly benefited from your past bullying. I know it's often hard to see improvements and positives through severe pain and suffering, but trust me they are there whether you acknowledge them or not :)

I'm sure there's hidden upsides to everything, but I think any positive thing I got from being bullied could have definitely come from somewhere else. I don't mean that for me personally that it didn't come from bullying or something, but that the "benefits" from being bullied could be gotten in other ways. I would certainly not wish what I went through on anyone else even if it improved them somehow.

Moneyminty Do you think we should just tell 10 year olds "stop blaming other people, you are bullied because you are weak. You are weak". Telling a child they are weak is...guess what? Bullying...

 

[Moneyminty]

I'm sure there's hidden upsides to everything, but I think any positive thing I got from being bullied could have definitely come from somewhere else. I don't mean that for me personally that it didn't come from bullying or something, but that the "benefits" from being bullied could be gotten in other ways. I would certainly not wish what I went through on anyone else even if it improved them somehow.

Moneyminty Do you think we should just tell 10 year olds "stop blaming other people, you are bullied because you are weak. You are weak". Telling a child they are weak is...guess what? Bullying...

Depends on what type of bullying. If physical, maybe get outside help or ask a parent to be removed of the situation. If emotionally, def remove from the situation. Or fight back. Those are actions to take. Not just complaining online about being bullied, but actually doing something to change the situation.
Check mate.

 

[Othesemo]

What im getting from you guys responses is pretty much, "lets baby the vitcims and cast aspersions on the bullies" Man. Weak emotional and physical people get bullied. I know many puny people who bully big people and many unintelligent people who bully smarter individuals. YOU are the reason for being or not being bullied! There are many ways to represent yourself and also ways out of getting bullied. I hate people who sit back and cry in pitty. If you dont have the will to stand up for yourself, stay getting bullied then. Only a very few cases are in need of outside intervention to the situation.
Cold world, no snuggie tho - J.Cole

And with all that posturing aside, are you really gonna sit back and watch some kid get the shit beaten out of him?

It's not 'Bullying, the cultural rite of passage,' it's 'Bullying, the sadistic asshole who likes making other people suffer.' It's not some glorious affair that we'll remember fondly as grandparents, or some sort of societal proving grounds- it's one individual fucker and one poor kid he's making miserable to amuse himself. If I as an adult am harassed or assaulted by a peer, I can rely on legal recourse that could potentially haunt my aggressor for the remainder of his adult life. Why shouldn't a ten year old be able to go about his day with the same confidence in his own well being?

 

[Moneyminty]

And with all that posturing aside, are you really gonna sit back and watch some kid get the shit beaten out of him?

It's not 'Bullying, the cultural rite of passage,' it's 'Bullying, the sadistic asshole who likes making other people suffer.' It's not some glorious affair that we'll remember fondly as grandparents, or some sort of societal proving grounds- it's one individual fucker and one poor kid he's making miserable to amuse himself. If I as an adult am harassed or assaulted by a peer, I can rely on legal recourse that could potentially haunt my aggressor for the remainder of his adult life. Why shouldn't a ten year old be able to go about his day with the same confidence in his own well being?

Welp, as a 10 yr old yr old 6th grader, I got my ass kicked alot. Specially since I was put in a class full of 13 yr old let back kids. I fought back, when I won, more people came after. I tried to talk, didnt work. I moved away from the situation. I never played victim or even blame the bullies because in LIFE, someones gonna get bullied. Theres no "pefect little world" like everyone on here wants. Like I said before, you control the outcome of your situation. Besides, it makes you a more understanding person and stronger in the end.

Smart kids that smoke weed, honor roll - Drake

 

[scene]

you could maybe consider stopping putting that collection of cringe-worthy quotes at the end of all your posts man, good lord

 

[The Shellder Smuggler]

I used to be bullied, then two years ago I got into martial arts, whopped the asshole that bothered me's ass....no one tries to fuck with me now :]

 

[Cresselia~~]

I used to be bullied, then two years ago I got into martial arts, whopped the asshole that bothered me's ass....no one tries to fuck with me now :]

That wouldn't work in the girl's school I went to.
Especially how going physical is totally stupid from an Asian point of view.
The moment someone gets physical, her social status just drops straight.

Like how in Pokemon, fighting types are weak against psychics?
Basically, in Japan and Hong Kong, the vast majority prefers intelligence over physical stuff.

 

[The Shellder Smuggler]

That wouldn't work in the girl's school I went to.

You took me wrong. It's not about beating someone up (The only reason I did so was self defense) it's about toughening yourself up, and getting your self esteem high.

 

[Cresselia~~]

You took me wrong. It's not about beating someone up (The only reason I did so was self defense) it's about toughening yourself up, and getting your self esteem high.

Oh! I totally missed that.
Thanks for the clarification.

 

[Deaga]

Honestly bullies are needed. Or kids grow up spoiled and rotten. While extreme bullies are unnecessary, some form of it is needed to teach kids to stand up for themselves.
I mean, if you remove bullies, might as well remove every other challenge a kid might face because you're just setting them up for failure.

EDIT:And yeah, that came out really wrong, explanation below.

I know you already kind of retconned this in a later post, but seriously, fuck you for posting this shit. Really.

I'm nearly 23 years old and only as of NOW I'm starting to get over the damage that being bullied through my whole childhood did. Seriously, it's not fucking cool to be fucking scared of every single person you meet because every single person you met as a kid used to bully you. That scars you for many years to come and I honestly have no idea of how that could be "good". You're not supposed to remove challenges from a person's life... It's about teaching the bullies how to NOT be assholes. Because, you know, nobody likes assholes.

I also have no fucking idea what people mean when they say you "should fight back" or "stand up for yourself". How the hell was I supposed to fight back against about 20 kids, ie, the whole classroom? Really, just how? I get the whole "don't let it get to you" advice, seeing how it actually is true (that was the first step towards getting out of this mess), but can you really expect some 9-year old to have that kind of maturity? People should point the bullied kid towards that direction, but they should also deal with the bullies. And really actually deal with them, seeing how the whole "trying to talk them out of it" bullshit only leads to more hardcore bullying.

 

[Othesemo]

Welp, as a 10 yr old yr old 6th grader, I got my ass kicked alot. Specially since I was put in a class full of 13 yr old let back kids. I fought back, when I won, more people came after. I tried to talk, didnt work. I moved away from the situation. I never played victim or even blame the bullies because in LIFE, someones gonna get bullied. Theres no "pefect little world" like everyone on here wants. Like I said before, you control the outcome of your situation. Besides, it makes you a more understanding person and stronger in the end.

I find that slightly difficult to believe.

"Hey man, I know you're kicking my head right now, but I don't blame you. It's not your fault."

Just doesn't sound like something somebody'd say, y'know?

I mean, in LIFE, someone's gonna get raped, murdered, mugged, kidnapped, and otherwise violated, and honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if someone felt they were stronger after the fact (victims of murder being the obvious exception). Practically speaking, though, I see no reason why we as the members of society should be particularly pleased by the fact. In fact, I see very strong incentive to collectively minimize the prevalence of the traits which inspire such undesirable actions. It's not a philosophical claim, or some sort of moralistic plea for your 'perfect little world.' It's the very simple observation that I prefer spending time with as few assholes as possible, and would like those who exhibit assholish behavior to instructed not to as quickly and expediently as possible.

 

[Rotosect]

I think first and foremost people need to stop seeing bullying as "generic evil" and need to understand what it really is: a way for estabilishing dominance, a basic instinct all social species -humans included- have programmed in their DNA.
Bullying has always existed and will exist until the end of time, there is no way to avoid it.
Does that mean bullying should be ignored or encouraged? No, but we'd be kidding ourself if we think it can be eradicated - it can only be contained, which is what society should aim for.
How do we do this? By educating people since a young age, stop rewarding laziness/weakness and stop the "no victim blaming" bullshit many bully victims keep advocating to justify their own weakness.
I know it sounds harsh but we have to accept that those low on the "bullying scale" can't be saved if they don't want to save themselves.

 

[Celever]

Jesus Moneyminty should start running some of those internet ads.

"I used to be bullied, but then I toughened the fuck up! Click here to learn my bully-beating secret!"

...yeah

To those people who say "oh just beat the crap out of them" you clearly were not bullied. The second you get physical with a bully, even if they bully you, you get all kinds of punishment like detentions and suspensions. And there's no "tell an adult, they'll solve it!". Not in my case (which was more specific, I digress) where all schools that I could physically go to had some kind of social needs kid who was aggressive by nature, but because this was medical the teachers had no ability to actually act on it. It was basically going into court for a murder and the guy proves that he's insane. It's less of a sentence. Following that thought process, they could bully however much they wanted and you couldn't do anything about it because they couldn't be punishable on more than a detention except for vandalism. Why the fuck is vandalism the worst offense? If you're interested, there was a gang of bullies in my school and one night they came out and they egged the school, broke in half the school signs and keyed every car in the car park there. It turns out that the CCTV was only inside the school, there were no cameras outside, so the police couldn't react on it. They got suspended from the school either way, but still.

Following this line of thought, "beating the crap out of them" gets you in more trouble than them, and "telling a big helpful adult!" does shit all. And also, to all of those people who say "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and that shit, that works on one-off events like what Othesemo listed above, but not if something like that happens every day. I mean, one of his examples was getting mugged, yet one of the iconic phrases of a bully is him beating someone up and saying "gimme your lunch money!" I was on free school meals, so that never happened to me personally, but I'm pretty sure that does count as mugging...

 

[EyeDentist]

I think it's up to the authority figures to control this, not the children. No child is going to defend the victims. Have you guys ever read the Crucible? This play would summarize my feelings on how bullying works.

Bullying is a serious problem, and it can have a major effect on people. Clearly. However, this isn't something we should ask the victims to deal with. One thing is for sure, bullying is omnipresent. That means that victims will be, too. To keep the victims from taking it out on others, teachers and principals need to start caring more, and, well, I don't know how to get them to do that.

[EDIT]: Also, stop being so hostile, people. We all have different opinions.

 

[Moneyminty]

Jesus Moneyminty should start running some of those internet ads.

"I used to be bullied, but then I toughened the fuck up! Click here to learn my bully-beating secret!"

...yeah

To those people who say "oh just beat the crap out of them" you clearly were not bullied. The second you get physical with a bully, even if they bully you, you get all kinds of punishment like detentions and suspensions. And there's no "tell an adult, they'll solve it!". Not in my case (which was more specific, I digress) where all schools that I could physically go to had some kind of social needs kid who was aggressive by nature, but because this was medical the teachers had no ability to actually act on it. It was basically going into court for a murder and the guy proves that he's insane. It's less of a sentence. Following that thought process, they could bully however much they wanted and you couldn't do anything about it because they couldn't be punishable on more than a detention except for vandalism. Why the fuck is vandalism the worst offense? If you're interested, there was a gang of bullies in my school and one night they came out and they egged the school, broke in half the school signs and keyed every car in the car park there. It turns out that the CCTV was only inside the school, there were no cameras outside, so the police couldn't react on it. They got suspended from the school either way, but still.

Following this line of thought, "beating the crap out of them" gets you in more trouble than them, and "telling a big helpful adult!" does shit all. And also, to all of those people who say "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and that shit, that works on one-off events like what Othesemo listed above, but not if something like that happens every day. I mean, one of his examples was getting mugged, yet one of the iconic phrases of a bully is him beating someone up and saying "gimme your lunch money!" I was on free school meals, so that never happened to me personally, but I'm pretty sure that does count as mugging...

Did you even read my post? seems like you didnt. Im gonna like your post anyway tho

 

[Moneyminty]

I find that slightly difficult to believe.

"Hey man, I know you're kicking my head right now, but I don't blame you. It's not your fault."

Just doesn't sound like something somebody'd say, y'know?

I mean, in LIFE, someone's gonna get raped, murdered, mugged, kidnapped, and otherwise violated, and honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if someone felt they were stronger after the fact (victims of murder being the obvious exception). Practically speaking, though, I see no reason why we as the members of society should be particularly pleased by the fact. In fact, I see very strong incentive to collectively minimize the prevalence of the traits which inspire such undesirable actions. It's not a philosophical claim, or some sort of moralistic plea for your 'perfect little world.' It's the very simple observation that I prefer spending time with as few assholes as possible, and would like those who exhibit assholish behavior to instructed not to as quickly and expediently as possible.

I said I dont blame them for bullying meaning, they were kids also. Im not gonna hold a life grudge. Some of you read out of context . smh

 

[Prof_Clayton]

I know you already kind of retconned this in a later post, but seriously, fuck you for posting this shit. Really.

I'm nearly 23 years old and only as of NOW I'm starting to get over the damage that being bullied through my whole childhood did. Seriously, it's not fucking cool to be fucking scared of every single person you meet because every single person you met as a kid used to bully you. That scars you for many years to come and I honestly have no idea of how that could be "good". You're not supposed to remove challenges from a person's life... It's about teaching the bullies how to NOT be assholes. Because, you know, nobody likes assholes.

I also have no fucking idea what people mean when they say you "should fight back" or "stand up for yourself". How the hell was I supposed to fight back against about 20 kids, ie, the whole classroom? Really, just how? I get the whole "don't let it get to you" advice, seeing how it actually is true (that was the first step towards getting out of this mess), but can you really expect some 9-year old to have that kind of maturity? People should point the bullied kid towards that direction, but they should also deal with the bullies. And really actually deal with them, seeing how the whole "trying to talk them out of it" bullshit only leads to more hardcore bullying.

I'm sorry, I really didn't mean it that way. I think the confusion is caused by how I define bullying. >__> Not saying all or even really most bullying is helpful, as in maybe like 5% of teasing and things are fine imo. I didn't post in the prespective of how bullying is good, rather how completely removing bullying is going too far. Friendly teasing and joking is also a form of bullying. Freinds lightly bully each other daily, and people move on. If you completely remove every single aspect of bullying, then that wouldn't be right. I'm all for removing harmful bullying, hurtful bullying and anything that is bad for kids. That is not right. But this thread was about how to combat bullying, and in general, I feel that friends teasing each other is not bad. Friends joke around. Removing this, would just cause kids to eventually retaliate too much. I was arguing not that I support bullying, but that I don't support the comlete removal of every form of it. I hope you understand what I mean. My posts are directed at those supporting complete removal of bullying and teasing (a part of bullying to me) and not at those who dislike bullying. Removal of harsh bullying is one thing, but I believe that by removing any and all forms of teasing can partially set kids up for failure as they just won't be able to take a joke...and this is a rising cause of death now, over protected kids killing themselves or just getting generally depressed over what is really just friends joking around. If they had experienced this as a kid, and not being over protected, they would have learned it was just a joke, not someone attacking them.
Again, I hope everyone understands how I'm against harsh or decent bullying, but te removal of every last thing would not be good for society. Still, I worded that original statement terribly and can see why people dislike that post, and I apologize for not thinking of what I was typing.

 

[Dododoggy]

Iv'e been bullied most of my whole school life and to be honest, it sucks. There is no way to "get rid of bullying" because no matter where you go there will always be bullies,teasing, and idiots. However, one thing I find effective against bullying is if you see someone getting bullied (In person/Online) to step in and help. Iv'e done it many times and iv'e made a lot of friends that way. The biggest mistake you can make though is getting a teacher. In some cases such as if someone is repeatedly telling you to "kill urself" then it can be smart to go to the school. But, if someone says "Nice glasses four eyes" it's best to punch them like you're Sharkeisha then set fire to their unconscious body ignore them and to not give them a reaction (Which is what bullies look for).

 

[Celever]

Oh yeah, because this is a bullying thread, I wanted to bring this to attention:

Hide

This song isn't supposed to be about bullying, but it actually fits the bill very well. For example, it says "I find it hard to trust not only me but everyone around me" which if you've been truly bullied usually becomes the case. "I can not cry, because I know that's weakness in your eyes" is the sort of issues that many bully victims face. Sometimes you need to cry, but if you do it and a bully notices... well that's their reaction. "Because of you I am afraid" is just obvious and "and now I cry in the middle of the night" and "I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty" are just very extreme cases of bullying where you become depressed and start toying with the idea of suicide. This obviously sounds cheesy, but this song can really help sometimes if you are being bullied so just for anyone here who is more high school age you might want to give it a shot.

 

[The Shellder Smuggler]

Reading this thread brings so many emotions to my eyes ;-;