Tips on how to give out a better vibe?

[Bologo]

Ok, so school is starting soon and there's just one thing that I don't want to bring back this year, and it's the vibe I give out. I'm sure it probably makes a lot of people feel uncomfortable and I don't really know what to do about it.

I consider myself to be a nice guy most of the time, but there are some times where I know that's probably annoying people and yeah. I'm not good at being assholes to people, and I really don't know how to make a good balance of being nice and being rough.

I'm going to get right to the point, as I'm sure there are some people who want to ask this as well...

What are some tips on one making themselves more approachable?

What are some good things to do around people to give off a vibe that will make people feel comfortable around you a lot?

Last but not least, as other people are allowed to ask questions in this topic too, what are some good ways of making a balance between being ultra-nice or being too rough?

Yeah, so those are my questions about vibes and such. Heh, I don't post in this section that much, but this is something I really needed to ask about. Thanks if you do happen to answer any of those questions.

Also, like I said, don't be hesitant to ask any of your own questions about this stuff either as I'm sure the way to improving is just little things. Knowing what those thing are however is surprisingly hard sometimes though.

 

[Vyacheslav]

Continue being nice, it helps.

But being funny can't hurt.

 

[nardd]

I'd say confidence is a key factor in giving off an approachable vibe. Smiling helps too, but not too much. Being funny can't hurt, but don't overdo it.

 

[gorm]

being nice honestly wont make a lasting impression on alot of people. If someone has a great personality (easy to approach, good conversationalist etc.), whether or not they are "really nice" won't really stick with someone as much as how much fun they are to hang out with. The problem with considering niceness as a key factor in "vibe" is that you are setting yourself up to be a pushover.

ladies, in particular, will not be impressed.

I mean the way i make friends is that I have a bunch of quirks and stuff. things like taking people super serious when i know that they're being sarcastic. or like totally hitting on dudes even though i am super straight. stupid shit like that

another thing is you realize that you're basically asking how to manufacture a new personality for you. becoming "more approachable" is alot tougher than it sounds and that's why a good deal of people are happy to keep to themselves.

the thing that helps m most is self confidence. that's not really a secret or anything, because with confidence, you either have it or you don't. the only way i can think of develloping self confidence is getting a job and really excelling at it. the change of your regular environment to that of some job can also really help you because its a chance to "experiment" with new social habits.

 

[Black Leather Jacket]

Continue being nice, it helps.

But being funny can't hurt.

When Im funny people tend to hate me, There is always a victim in my humor.

 

[chimpact]

That's cause all you do is make black jokes. And they aren't even funny.

Edit: Closing in on 500

 

[Hipmonlee]

Smile.

Also greet people.

But mostly smile.

Have a nice day.

 

[Cruiselax]

How do you hold a conversation? :/ I know people always say "duh...oh...try to prolong you answers" but its easier said than done.

 

[Altmer]

I mean the way i make friends is that I have a bunch of quirks and stuff. things like taking people super serious when i know that they're being sarcastic. or like totally hitting on dudes even though i am super straight. stupid shit like that

heh you know gormenghast I actually do take things seriously even when I know it's sarcasm, sometimes I do it on purpose, but it tends to be funnier when I do it out of ignorance.

Talk, just talk. Sometimes shut up when you talk too much.

 

[Stallion]

I pay people out, but in a friendly sorta way, so I dont look like im soft. At the same time, if someone really needs my help, then I become really nice. The key to success is exactly what you said: a balance between nice and mean.
And hitting on guys as a joke works....sometimes :P

 

[Torquol]

Dude, I agree with Gormenghast, you're trying to find a new personality. If you're a nice guy, which I'm judging from the thread, then stick with that. Kid at my school tried to go from nice to being more agressive, and no one takes him seriously. Stick with nice, and be confident. Confidence is key.

 

[McGrrr]

Smile, greet people (as Hip suggested), don't fold your arms, look up, make eye contact when talking to people, stand up straight, be polite, dress in a presentable manner etc. Try to deduce moods from body language and ask appropriate questions. When breaking the ice, ensure you start with a topic the other person is interested in.

If you are not very good at making small talk as you go, prepare some anecdotes in the back of your mind that you can call upon. Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself, but be careful not to make yourself look too much of an idiot. It is usually best not to lie.

Don't make someone the butt of your jokes unless you are familiar with them. Don't laugh at jokes at other people's expense if they are present, unless they are laughing too. Most of all, DON'T TRY TOO HARD. It is all common sense...

Gormenghast: of course, not everyone is blessed with confidence, intelligence, wit, charm or as you call it, "quirks". Your post was basically unhelpful to this person.

Edit: if all else fails, be yourself... and if that doesn't work, blame society, the media and your parents, then become an emokid.

 

[Dan Dan]

I always found that having great hair is the key to approachability. Keep it clean and nicely shaped and you're onto a winner!

 

[DM]

How do you hold a conversation? :/ I know people always say "duh...oh...try to prolong you answers" but its easier said than done.

Ask questions about the other person. Then listen. Then ask more questions.

This is the Golden Rule for talking to girls.

 

[Surgo]

Kid at my school tried to go from nice to being more agressive, and no one takes him seriously.

If you make it more of a "coming out of a shell" sort of thing, people will most certainly take you seriously. I did this when I was in high school.

 

[Warthog]

If you make it more of a "coming out of a shell" sort of thing, people will most certainly take you seriously. I did this when I was in high school.

exactly.

I was sorta like this but I ended up crawling back into my shell when school was about to end. I suggest just being yourself and expressing how you feel. Meaning you ought to voice your opinion and stand up for yourself.

 

[monkfish]

I think most people on here will have experienced social awkwardness because lets face it this is a pokemon website, but it is not too hard to overcome

The way I get myself to talk to people in an amiable way is done in two steps.

- The first thing I do is try to keep myself always thinking about something relevant. I've found that smoking weed helps me do this much better I AM NOT RECOMMENDING IT TO YOU I AM JUST SAYING THAT IT HELPED ME

- The second thing is when I'm thinking about things alone, I repeat them to myself inside my head in my voice as if I was talking to someone, or having a conversation with myself. It sounds creepy but seriously, the key step to being cool with other people is being cool with yourself.

Just don't go talking out loud to yourself. Not a good habit to get into.

 

[Toby]

Just relax, and think about things before you say. Probably you find yourslef saying stuff you regret after, if your like me, and just make some joke out of it later and be done.

If your Shy, be shy, if your confident, be confident, play your strengths.

Socialble@ Salac Berry
Adamant/Modest
252 Conversational, 200 nice, 52 Discretion, 4 Modesty
-Endure
-Reversal
-Helping Hand
-

Ok, Brain freeze, but you get the metaphor! Or I hope you do.

I just find I be myself, and at first people get scared by my over-confidence, exotic vocabulary and many run. But after a while, once they become used to the zealous handling I have on the shaft of language and dialect, its all cool.

Just dont shout "Pokemon FTW" out loud. I was lucky when I did it, my mates who play it just laughed, the people who didnt found it hilarious, its all good. ;)

 

[toy]

I dont know about Tobys pokemon comparison but.

Always be confident in what you do.

Dont be an asshole, sometimes it could be funny but it never impresses people.

Be out going and funny, when you talk to a girl Like DM said keep asking questions, if she turns one on you you turn it back, they love it.

Always try to be positive, that alone gives off a good vibe, not overly positive but never droop around and act sad, even if you are people are a bit stand offish is you give off that aura.

 

[Kier]

I don't know about a "vibe" but it really helps if you complement people. Nothing too over the top, you know, just something nice. People appreciate complements more than they let on, but a good one can make someone's entire day (I know it sounds gay, but it's true).

Asking questions about someone is good way to start a conversation; everyone likes to talk about themselves. It also helps if you use a person's name when you're talking to them -- it makes the conversation more personal.

It seems to me like you want to make a new image for yourself, and that's always hard. Uh, don't try to act like someone you're not, whatever you do. It gets fucking tiring after a while.

 

[dishwasher]

just be doommullet

 

[Bleach]

1. Tell her she is unique in some way
2. Listen and ask her questions
3. Act interested
4. Laugh and smile
5. Make eyes contact
6. Have a guitar handy to serenade her
7. Write her an epic poem and read it with emotion
8. Draw her an amazing picture
9. Take her to Portillo's
10. Find out what music she likes and sing her a song

(Note) This only works for me and is subject to radical change

 

[keloggsequent]

yeah if i did all of that, I'd probably get slapped

 

[toy]

But you have a lovely singing voice =]

 

[jpchato]

the easiest thing you can do is stand up tall and straight

the second easiest thing you can do is smile

smiling is more effective than the former, though