Body Modification for the Purpose of Resolving Insecurity

[MikeDawg]

This thread is not about tattoos or piercings. It is about different modifications (plastic surgery, bleaching, etc.) that are only obtained to correct some flaw that we see on ourselves. We all have things that make us feel insecure. Maybe it's our weight, our nose, a scar, crooked teeth, freckles, skin color. Science makes it so almost all of these things can be 'corrected' if you have the money to do so. There are risks associated, of course, but we will discount those for the purposes of the thread, as it is simply about the mental part of modification. Many people do choose to pursue even surgery to change their appearance, and some people choose to pursue LOTS of surgery to completely revamp their appearance.

• Do you think that there is merit to correcting something, or do you feel like, in reality, it will never be enough to feel satisfied?
• Should we be focusing on correcting our physical image or our self perception?
• Is there a difference between having plastic surgery and having our teeth whitened and other modifications that aren't changing our inherent physicality?
• Have you ever gotten plastic surgery or modified yourself? How did you feel about doing it?

 

[Holiday]

Just to answer the four questions and some background.

I had too much of a chemical in my body that made me grow extra teeth (like a lot of extra teeth) to the point where I had about 45-50 in my mouth at once lol. My grill was completely fucked up.

1- There is merit in surgical repair. I hated my mouth and teeth, but after fixing everything I'm incredibly satisfied with them and with how I look.

2- If you're genuinely upset with how you look, change it. I know for like if you feel like you're fat there's like body acceptance and being comfortable with who you are and how much you weigh but if you're legit unhappy, you can get lipo.

3- Permanently whitening your teeth and getting a nose job are two different things, the latter being a much more drastic switch, but at the end of the day they stem from the root that you didn't like how something looked and wanted to improve it.

4- As previously stated, I got oral surgery. I'm incredibly happy with it and would recommend it and my surgeon to anyone.

 

[Shinryu]

Eh, just do whatever makes you happy in the end. Whether it be oddball hair colors or enough plastic surgery to look like the human Barbie.

 

[Sweep]

i was about to spamclean the OP because the thread title was :suspicious: to say the least, pretty sure a spambot made a thread with a very similar title the other day

imo having a trusted group of people (friends, family members, what have you) can help immeasurably when making the dramatic and expensive decision to "modify" yourself. these people need to be able to tell you when you're going too far or are making a hasty decision, while supporting you for legitimate alterations. "yes" men and women will not help you at all, and many people are too vain or paranoid about their appearance to make accurate judgment calls on whether they need modifications or not. there's definitely nothing wrong with removing a mole or attempting to repair an unsightly injury, though.

 

[jumpluff]

I completely support who wants cosmetic surgery, but I really don't like external pressure to undergo surgery to correct things that arent inherently harmful instead of pressure for other people to accept these traits, especially where those traits are visible manifestations of disability or ethnicity or congenital disease, etc. Nobody needs modifications because they're inherently ugly. Beauty standards are heavily skewed towards whiteness, abledness, etc. and it's fucked. But I don't blame anyone for not wanting to live with that or just having a preference for how they look or wanting to change the way people treat them

Because of my tumour pressuring my facial nerve one side of my upper lip is noticeably asymmetrical, I was asked constantly if I was in a car crash when it started to become obvious and taunted for it frequently. I had to have an ultrasound on it actually and that was one of the grossest things I've ever undergone. I'm really anxious about smiling, laughing, etc. and tend to cover my mouth. But I could've had surgery to correct it after I had surgery to correct the tumour and my neurosurgeon told me if I wanted it to go away I'd have to have cosmetic surgery. To be honest I never could afford it but I've come to terms with it; it's a defining aspect of my face now, it reflects what I've been through (my surgical scars and other changes are hidden by my hair) and I don't even remember looking any different. I've had enough surgery (and will have to have more) so I don't really want to have cosmetic surgery to fix my lip.

The trait I really hate the most is my nose. I grew up really despising it. My brother has the same feature (since we inherited it lol) and when he was fourteen he told me he wanted rhinoplasty. Then we realised our noses are actually one of the most visible signs of our race and we felt ashamed of it and had been conditioned to think of it as ugly so I'm trying to be less self-conscious about my nose now. My brother was bullied a lot for his nose and extremely curly hair (also a normative trait for boys with our racial heritage), except because we're light-skinned and 'pass' for white in some environments, people mocked him for being Jewish instead (he's not and antisemitism isn't any better). Afaik now he's gone through pretty much the same process of trying to love himself more, although he still doesn't like it when you point out how curly his hair is.

On the other hand I dye my hair red all the time and will probably do it again soon because I don't want to risk damaging my hair by bleaching it and I can't go lighter (so I can't do anything cool like dye my hair pink/purple, my hair is a pretty dark brown). But I can go dark red and I really like red hair so.

 

[Cresselia~~]

I don't mind anything to do with hair. It will usually grow back. I can mess with it how ever I like.

 

[VuvuzelaBzz]

• Do you think that there is merit to correcting something, or do you feel like, in reality, it will never be enough to feel satisfied?

There's definitely merit to correcting things about one's appearance that cause feelings of insecurity, however there are cases in which there might be an underlying psychological issue responsible for those feelings. In those cases, said correction most likely won't have a satisfactory result and may lead to a string of further "corrections", none of which are likely to solve the underlying problem and may actually make it worse. Basically, one should think long and hard about what it is that's actually causing whatever feelings of insecurity etc. are leading them to consider modifying their body, simply to make sure that they're not trying to fix a broken watch with a band-aid.

• Should we be focusing on correcting our physical image or our self perception?

I don't really think these are mutually exclusive, but you're presenting them as such, so I'll go with the latter. Basically, learning to accept oneself, warts and all, is more beneficial on a personal growth level than simply having said warts removed. That's not to say that if you can fix the problem you shouldn't(especially if it has a negative impact on your health and/or social life), only that learning to be as comfortable as possible in your own skin while the problem is still present will benefit you more in life than being an insecure mess until the moment it's solved.

• Is there a difference between having plastic surgery and having our teeth whitened and other modifications that aren't changing our inherent physicality?

There's no real difference in principle, only in scale and risk of failure.

• Have you ever gotten plastic surgery or modified yourself? How did you feel about doing it?

Nope.

 

[internet]

The argument for braces appears to be "do it or you'll look kinda unusual during a very specific situation" and that's never really done it for me. Instead I've decided to rock my slightly crooked teeth proudly as a Symbol Of my laziness Defiance From Social Norms!

 

[Fatecrashers]

no the true purpose of braces is to discourage teenagers from oral sex

 

[Holiday]

no the true purpose of braces is to discourage teenagers from oral sex

If this ain't the damn truest thing I've ever seen anyone post on smogon I don't know what is.

 

[whistle]

I'm "naturally" tall and very skinny, and while I wasn't super insecure about it, one day I decided it would be nice to look more like normal dudes. so I started working out and eating more food. I probably look a little better, I feel better (partially due to lifestyle, partially due to image), all around nice things. I think the method that someone chooses doesn't really matter. I mean, maybe you think of someone who had excessive plastic surgery and looks like an american girl doll. but there are also people who go to the gym twice a day (non-athletes/non-weightlifters) because of underlying psychological issues, or really big dudes who think they are tiny because of unrealistic expectations/body image problems. so yes, in general, people (especially those who are a little off) shouldn't do drastic things.

 

[Adamant Zoroark]

This is probably something you know if you read my thread on circumcision, but the only thing I've hated about my body is the fact that I'm circumcised. I have buckteeth and I'm more focused on my lack of a foreskin than a space in between my teeth.

I mean, honestly, I've just always preferred the aesthetics of intact genitals because to me, the circumcised penis looks scarred and the head looks all dried up, so honestly I'm kind of in a situation where I had a cosmetic surgery performed on me without my consent, which ended up also going against my preferences regarding aesthetics. My feelings about it only got worse when I started researching the foreskin's functions, so that only made me feel even more like something was stolen from me. That sealed the deal. I was going to do something about it, no matter how extreme the measure was.

So, to answer question 4, yes, I am currently undergoing a body modification. I'm currently taking measures to restore my foreskin - well, sort of a foreskin. The idea behind this is that it works on the principle of tissue expansion - that is, if you stretch the skin, it encourages cell division, so I'm simply applying a method like this to stretch skin over the head of my penis. This will give me back the foreskin's protective functions, as well as bringing my body in line with my own aesthetic preferences, but any sensation in the foreskin that I would have had I can't get back. Honestly, to answer how I feel about it, it gives me hope. It makes me stop feeling like I'm trapped with a body part I hate the appearance of (and that I consider defective) when I never even had a say in whether or not I wanted it modified, so it resolves my insecurities over my penis and makes me feel whole again. I've still got a long ways to go (hey, stretching out 15 square inches of skin takes a while) but it gives me hope.

To answer the other questions:

1 - My response to this thread probably answers how I feel about body modification. If you don't like your appearance, do something about it. Sitting around and groaning about it isn't gonna help.

2 - There are probably scenarios in which correcting your physical image is preferable over correcting your self perception and vice-versa. I'm not gonna lie, my feelings about having had my foreskin chopped off are far from usual, but to be frank, I spent the entire fall quarter at my college going to therapy sessions every week and they didn't help at all, so I kind of don't have much of a choice but to correct my appearance to something I can accept rather than futilely trying to live with an appearance I can't accept. However, there are also cases where negative body image can be caused by society setting impossible standards (models, bodybuilders, etc.) so if you're trying to reach a standard that's impossible to reach without like steroids or something, then you just need to sit down and think about how you perceive yourself.

3 - In principle? No. The difference here is degree. As already stated by others here, there's a big difference between getting your teeth whitened and getting a nose job, but the differences there are in degree.

That just about settles my response to the OP

 

[MikeDawg]

This is probably something you know if you read my thread on circumcision, but the only thing I've hated about my body is the fact that I'm circumcised. I have buckteeth and I'm more focused on my lack of a foreskin than a space in between my teeth.

I mean, honestly, I've just always preferred the aesthetics of intact genitals because to me, the circumcised penis looks scarred and the head looks all dried up, so honestly I'm kind of in a situation where I had a cosmetic surgery performed on me without my consent, which ended up also going against my preferences regarding aesthetics. My feelings about it only got worse when I started researching the foreskin's functions, so that only made me feel even more like something was stolen from me. That sealed the deal. I was going to do something about it, no matter how extreme the measure was.

So, to answer question 4, yes, I am currently undergoing a body modification. I'm currently taking measures to restore my foreskin - well, sort of a foreskin. The idea behind this is that it works on the principle of tissue expansion - that is, if you stretch the skin, it encourages cell division, so I'm simply applying a method like this to stretch skin over the head of my penis. This will give me back the foreskin's protective functions, as well as bringing my body in line with my own aesthetic preferences, but any sensation in the foreskin that I would have had I can't get back. Honestly, to answer how I feel about it, it gives me hope. It makes me stop feeling like I'm trapped with a body part I hate the appearance of (and that I consider defective) when I never even had a say in whether or not I wanted it modified, so it resolves my insecurities over my penis and makes me feel whole again. I've still got a long ways to go (hey, stretching out 15 square inches of skin takes a while) but it gives me hope.

To answer the other questions:

1 - My response to this thread probably answers how I feel about body modification. If you don't like your appearance, do something about it. Sitting around and groaning about it isn't gonna help.

2 - There are probably scenarios in which correcting your physical image is preferable over correcting your self perception and vice-versa. I'm not gonna lie, my feelings about having had my foreskin chopped off are far from usual, but to be frank, I spent the entire fall quarter at my college going to therapy sessions every week and they didn't help at all, so I kind of don't have much of a choice but to correct my appearance to something I can accept rather than futilely trying to live with an appearance I can't accept. However, there are also cases where negative body image can be caused by society setting impossible standards (models, bodybuilders, etc.) so if you're trying to reach a standard that's impossible to reach without like steroids or something, then you just need to sit down and think about how you perceive yourself.

3 - In principle? No. The difference here is degree. As already stated by others here, there's a big difference between getting your teeth whitened and getting a nose job, but the differences there are in degree.

That just about settles my response to the OP

If it helps, reception to cut penises is generally better. Also, much of the clamor about how being uncircumsized provides better sensations is heresay, which makes sense, because how would they know which is better if they didn't experience both? In fact, people who were circumsized in adulthood have been generally very pleased with it. Most commonly: easier to clean, feels BETTER during sex, feels better for the other person.

It's definitely a warranted insecurity for circumsized people (especially given the talk from uncut people about how much better (they assume) it is), but a bit of research will assure you that it isn't a big deal. :)

More "reasonable" qualms can stem from obvious scarring, discoloration, blemishes, etc., but uncircumsized people can have even worse (foreskin too long, complications, odor, cleanliness, etc.).

 

[Adamant Zoroark]

If it helps, reception to cut penises is generally better. Also, much of the clamor about how being uncircumsized provides better sensations is heresay, which makes sense, because how would they know which is better if they didn't experience both? In fact, people who were circumsized in adulthood have been generally very pleased with it. Most commonly: easier to clean, feels BETTER during sex, feels better for the other person.

It's definitely a warranted insecurity for circumsized people (especially given the talk from uncut people about how much better (they assume) it is), but a bit of research will assure you that it isn't a big deal. :)

More "reasonable" qualms can stem from obvious scarring, discoloration, blemishes, etc., but uncircumsized people can have even worse (foreskin too long, complications, odor, cleanliness, etc.).

Well, what I do know is that after about a year of restoring (not very consistently, swimming class in winter quarter made that hard) I do feel more sensitive. That could be placebo but we'll probably never know for sure. I've heard mixed reactions from people who've been with both cut and uncut; some say uncut is better (including one of my female friends,) some say cut is better so it's kind of a situation where I just stop giving a fuck about what other people think because it's just not something universally agreed on.

Then again, sensitivity and whatnot aren't even my main reasons for doing this; if it does help there, then that's cool, but it's mostly because I was circumcised as an infant, not an adult, and so I never had a say in it (and it doesn't help that I don't like what it looks like.) It's like I feel like someone else imposed their cosmetic preferences on me and I'm the one who has to deal with not liking the result.

 

[MaestroDeSWAG]

I have no idea how I stumbled on this, but I for one do not neccessarily feel altering ones appearance is a bad thing, but that's not always the case. I have an asymmetrical jaw line (one side is long than the other), and intend to get surgery to adjust it at some point. I look at it and, while I wouldn't say it makes me insecure(In fact, people actually compliment my jaw structure quite often), I don't like it. (that's actually not quite true; I like the shape, just not the offness. I don't want to change my overall appearance, really, just correct a flaw) So, I'm planning to change it once i have reached a point that it is 90% safe to assume that I won't grow more and ruin the entire thing.

On the other hand, there is this girl in my school, she's actually really pretty, naturally, that wears so much make up that she, quite literally, looks more like a wax mannequin than a person. I have trouble understanding this. Her close friends have told her how pretty she is w/o make up, but for some reason she continues to try to be something she isn't. This is a circumstance that I feel is vastly excessive. I'd say the same concerning breast augmentation and stuff like that. It is unnecessary, and anyone who feels you need you need that to be more attractive isn't worth your time.

If the pressure to do that is coming from your own insecurities, I don't know how to help, however it is really an internal problem that you'll have to resolve yourself, most likely w/ some form of professional guidance.

 

[Adamant Zoroark]

On the other hand, there is this girl in my school, she's actually really pretty, naturally, that wears so much make up that she, quite literally, looks more like a wax mannequin than a person. I have trouble understanding this. Her close friends have told her how pretty she is w/o make up, but for some reason she continues to try to be something she isn't. This is a circumstance that I feel is vastly excessive. I'd say the same concerning breast augmentation and stuff like that. It is unnecessary, and anyone who feels you need you need that to be more attractive isn't worth your time.

I think you've met a mannequin-kin.

... Manne-kin.

Okay, otherkin jokes aside, uhh.... I don't even know. I mean, I've seen unnatural amounts of makeup, but if the image I'm getting from this is accurate, this takes the cake. I'm amending my answer to question 1 - this is way too drastic. I'll never understand why anyone would wear that much makeup.

I'm not sure about the point on breast augmentation though - I feel like if someone themselves prefers larger breasts but are dissatisfied with their size, then I wouldn't have a problem with it. However, if it's due to external pressure to have their breasts enlarged, then they should just tell those people to fuck off.

 

[MaestroDeSWAG]

I think you've met a mannequin-kin.

... Manne-kin.

Okay, otherkin jokes aside, uhh.... I don't even know. I mean, I've seen unnatural amounts of makeup, but if the image I'm getting from this is accurate, this takes the cake. I'm amending my answer to question 1 - this is way too drastic. I'll never understand why anyone would wear that much makeup.

I'm not sure about the point on breast augmentation though - I feel like if someone themselves prefers larger breasts but are dissatisfied with their size, then I wouldn't have a problem with it. However, if it's due to external pressure to have their breasts enlarged, then they should just tell those people to fuck off.

I don't have a problem with it- I just think that your size shouldn't make you feel insecure, however I can understand it. What I really have a problem w/ is when it's from external pressure.

 

[Mattapod]

i agree in that if its a psychological issue it should be identified and treated as such, and that mods are not the answer. heres my 2 examples

1 i have a big ass nose and always have. im italian so i have that greco-roman profile which is not so common in usa. i was made fun of about it all the time growing up. ive been called ridiculous names, my all time favorite was elephant face (pretty clever for a 4th grader) and pretty much all thru middle school and high school wanted a nose job. i felt ugly and that girls would never like me with a nose like this. one day, i accepted myself for who i am. i also grew up to be pretty good looking (how modest of me) haha. na but in all seriousness i get complimented pretty regularly and now that im an adult women actually like my nose. heres the kicker.. ive been kickboxin since 18, im 26 now and my nose is thrashed. its beem broken four times and my septum is badly deviated to the point where i can barely breathe out of the right nostril, and i REFUSE to get a nose job to fix it because i love myself the way i am and dont want my nose to change.

2. my ex had pretty serious boob size issues, she said she felt inadequate since middle school. we once got in a horrible fight bc she asked if i think she needed a boob job. i told her it was her body and her decision and id love her regardless. she didnt take that for an answer and demanded a yes or no, so i told her no bc i love you the way u are. then she flipped and said i was an unsupportive asshole bc if she came home with a boob job, in her mind that made her less attractive to me. total nonsense. it was so bad to the point she didnt want me to watch a football game bc katy perry was performing the halftime show and that she was intimidated by her boobs and jealous. she also said we can never go to the beach or anywhere theres girls in bikinis bc she will feel ugly. if she ends up getting the surgery, i know it wont make her happy and there will just be something else she wants to change. luckily we are no longer together, but that was an eye opener for me.

bottom line, love yourself

 

[MaestroDeSWAG]

i agree in that if its a psychological issue it should be identified and treated as such, and that mods are not the answer. heres my 2 examples

1 i have a big ass nose and always have. im italian so i have that greco-roman profile which is not so common in usa. i was made fun of about it all the time growing up. ive been called ridiculous names, my all time favorite was elephant face (pretty clever for a 4th grader) and pretty much all thru middle school and high school wanted a nose job. i felt ugly and that girls would never like me with a nose like this. one day, i accepted myself for who i am. i also grew up to be pretty good looking (how modest of me) haha. na but in all seriousness i get complimented pretty regularly and now that im an adult women actually like my nose. heres the kicker.. ive been kickboxin since 18, im 26 now and my nose is thrashed. its beem broken four times and my septum is badly deviated to the point where i can barely breathe out of the right nostril, and i REFUSE to get a nose job to fix it because i love myself the way i am and dont want my nose to change.

2. my ex had pretty serious boob size issues, she said she felt inadequate since middle school. we once got in a horrible fight bc she asked if i think she needed a boob job. i told her it was her body and her decision and id love her regardless. she didnt take that for an answer and demanded a yes or no, so i told her no bc i love you the way u are. then she flipped and said i was an unsupportive asshole bc if she came home with a boob job, in her mind that made her less attractive to me. total nonsense. it was so bad to the point she didnt want me to watch a football game bc katy perry was performing the halftime show and that she was intimidated by her boobs and jealous. she also said we can never go to the beach or anywhere theres girls in bikinis bc she will feel ugly. if she ends up getting the surgery, i know it wont make her happy and there will just be something else she wants to change. luckily we are no longer together, but that was an eye opener for me.

bottom line, love yourself

My friend Joey is Italian, and he always had the same problem. His most common nickname was "Jewey"

 

[Mattapod]

My friend Joey is Italian, and he always had the same problem. His most common nickname was "Jewey"

haha yea ppl ask if im jewish all the time

 

[Jordanious]

Some people think they're born ugly I guess but tbh I think the main problem is just a lack of communication about there insecurity

 

[Trax]

Unless it's something major or something with a physical effect (like dodgy teeth or something that messes with eyesight), surely one has to think the problem is as much if not more in the mind than anything else.