I meant to make this post during the day, and even stayed up all night trying to piece it together. Was tired all day at work with two hours of sleep. And for what? I have no ideas what to do at all.
But I made up my mind to do something, and as a man that means that I need to see it through. The worst that could happen is that I lose the game, so why not at least try?
((INSERT YOURSELF INTO THE STORY HERE))
"Hey, today I wanted to do something interesting. I thought we might go onto smogon university and hang out a bit." You make a show of acting very confused and coy. "No, there isn't mafia outside of circus maximus. What, no, the 15 other people in my cult aren't going to be there. It's just going to be you and me. I just wanted to show you around parts of the site that maybe you hadn't noticed before." You squint your eyes angrily at me. "Fine, do you have to make me say it? I want you in my cult. And I think that if we spent some time together, you'd see that it's the right choice. Ok, fine, don't come with me, but I'm gonna spend all day on smogon while wearing sweatpants, flip-flops, and holding a big bag of cheetos for sustenance, so you might as well join me."
It wasn't the right time then, so we meet up later on irc. Seeing you in that chat room, it's at that point that I realized just how special it is to interact with someone who might be countries away.
We make our first stop in the Great Library. It's a bustling mecha where people can talk games, anime, etc., but it's just a starting point. Great Library is a place that I like a lot, but I'm not here for myself. But while looking at a thread about a twenty year old game with no competitive scene, you look down and see our names together, and it makes you a little uncomfortable. "Okay, where should we go first? If there's any part of the website you'd like to see, just ask me. What? Yes, I know you have internet access any other day, I'm just trying to make this day all about you. No, it's not like I don't have any plans or anything. Like, uh, we could go see that thread where people introduce themselves. Then it'll be like you're a new user all over again!" As you cringe and complain more, I think I'm starting to see the source of your discomfort. "Oh. Yeah, you did say you didn't want to hang out with me today. And why would you? I haven't made a good mafia game in years. I'm a corrupt mod that everyone hates. And I'm a big asshole who will probably be the next Stratos." As I turn away, you reach out and softly grab me by the hand. "But that's why today I'm gonna be the coolest friend I can be to you. Come on, let's go."
Somehow we never found that introductory thread, but we made good time elsewhere. I showed you CAP, the art forum, the SMOG, battling 101, even Orange Islands. Even though I have access, I decided it was best not to show you the Inside Scoop. All the drama would probably just fuel sentiments of village vs. mafia. You didn't hate every part of the website I brought you to at least. Some you were at least mildly disinterested in.
At one point we took a break from the site, to play some games of Pokemon on Pokemon Showdown. The OU tier is recommended best by the official smogon elite, but this metagame... "I don't know any of these Pokemon. What is a Landorus-Therian? Volcanion?" Hey, why are you giving me that look as if today has just been a big waste of your time? Fine, I'll quickly just pick a team of Pokemon that are always good. Like Arcanine and Dusknoir.
When you can forgive the RNG, Pokemon is actually kind of a nice game. It's all about the power of friendship, and Pokemon never die or anything. I look at you now, and I don't think you're cut out to play mafia. I'm not thinking that you aren't good at it or anything. But maybe it's not good for you. Right now mafia is just a bunch of salty veterans who can't let newbies try to lead without flinging insults. And no one feels good when the night period ends and they seem themselves flip. That's why, if for only this game, I'd like to show you an alternative. One where as many people, including you, can win as possible, without any conflict.
You're the best mafia player, it's true
But is this hobby good for you?
It steals your time,
Community's grime,
And they can't even see they're askew.
After a few rounds, we're not done yet. No, I didn't want it to come to this, but after examining it from all angles there's one place left on smogon that I know you'll like. That brings us to the twice-damned gates of firebot. The land of Trump supporters, a place where by order of TIK I am to be shot on sight. Even when I peek my head in and see BenTheDemon, I'm sure he's about to make a joke about Fate/Stay Night's literature status. But I'll risk it, for you. We spend nearly two hours there. You're transfixed by every thread. A debate over which shit user sucks more, started by said shit user. A title that is a pun without thread content. A place to be blatantly racist when being subtly racist in cong got called out. A surrogate for IS drama that gets someone banned. This place has it all. But eventually you notice just how uncomfortable I am here. "Huh? But you like this place, so that's why we're here. Hey, my only goal today was to go where you want to go, don't concern yourself over me. I just want what's best for you, like joining my cult with 16 members, 5 killers, an additional cult master cause we copied the role, and multiple other converters. We're not going to use those kills, after all, we stopped the anyone from dying on day 1, didn't we? But you've gotta see where the tide is turning and when to get on board. Don't be stupid, you have a much better chance of winning if you join us, no matter what your previous position."
At this point your response... is sent to me in PM.