Unicycle Mafia - Game Over! Internet wins!

Dear Lord Jesseus,
You are John McClane. You are aligned with the Well-Armed Men With Something To Protect.

You are a cop and a hero, having prevented several evil ploys by cunning villains such as Hans Gruber's grand robbery of Nakatomi Plaza, or Thomas Gabriel's firesale. Your specialties include kicking ass and throwing one-liners around.

Each Cycle, you may send a PM entitled "Cycle X - Showing [user1] what makes you that guy" You will beat your target in a fistfight then hold them at gunpoint, making any vote they make during the next Cycle count as zero. They will be notified of this.

The Well-Armed Men With Something To Protect may also decide on killing someone each Cycle, though you may not kill in both Cycle 1 and Cycle 2. If you are chosen to execute the kill, you will shoot your target with your own weapon, dress the body up as Santa Clause, write "Now I have a machine gun, ho! ho! ho!" on the suit, then send them down the elevator. After you have done this, your kill method will change to driving a car into a helicopter your target is in, causing a great explosion.

You win of the Well-Armed Men With Something To Protect win.

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Dear moot,
You are Gosalyn Mallard. You are aligned with the Things You Find on the Internet.

You are the adopted daughter of Drake Mallard, who at night takes up the role as the superhero Darkwing Duck, protecting St. Mallard against some of the most vicious villains in cartoon history. Fighting the Monsters and the Well-Armed men seems like it's up his alley. Now where could he be?

Your impatience and curiosity know no bounds. Once during each Cycle, you may send a PM entitled "Cycle X - Are we there yet?" The moment the host reads your PM, you will receive the amount of actions that have already been sent in (including yours). Obviously, this action has higher priority than the lynch.

You win if the Things You Find on the Internet win.

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Dear Fishin,
You are RB Golbat. You are aligned with the Things You Find on the Internet.

You are one of the most active Smogoners, helping out in nearly every aspect of Pokémon articles. Whether it be moderating, caching or battling, you're on top of it.

What less people know is that you are also a Wikipedia moderator. Through quality checking all these articles, you often learn fun facts. Every Cycle, you will be proofreading a Wikipedia page, and learn something about the game that you probably didn't know before!

You win if the Things You Find on the Internet win.

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Fishy said:

Let's send Aura_Guardian back to wherever he came from.

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