Unicycle Mafia - Game Over! Internet wins!

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Radio is acting up again...

Never fear everyone, I am perfectly safe. The yeti has stopped gnawing at my leg, and I feel that, instead of getting angry, I should be thanking him. This trip to southern Asia has reminded me:

I never wanted to be an inspector; I always wanted...

to be a lumberjack!
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evan has requested to be subbed out. I asked Lightwolf and Jimbo already but the former hasn't responded yet and the latter doesn't feel like it, so if you have interest in subbing, claim to me so I can unite you with your role PM.

EDIT: evan has been subbed out for Exarius.

EDIT 2: Cool, all PMs are in and non-controversial, so update coming up.
 
Cycle 4 is over.

The mob approaches Engineer Pikachu as fast as they can, but seems to be unable with the speed he moves. After a bit of chasing around, he jumps on a podium, puts on shades, grabs the microphone and yells out "YO MYSELF, I'm real happy for you, and I'mma let you finish, but Gmax is the best lynch target of ALL TIME!" The crowd suddenly realizes their mistake and turns around to the surprised Gmax, who starts running away from the podium. "OF ALL TIME!" says the former lynch target once more.

Gmax seems to be unable to run any longer, and the mob begins to surround him. Suddenly, he jumps into the air, making WRHOARHARAWRRUWHRRAWR sounds. His body shifts from a human form to...what is that even?

"Look at the doggie!" says one mouthy mob member, to which another replies "He's not a doggie! He's El Chupacabra!" Gmax makes a large jump over the crowd while screaming "I'm running!" to maybe make a getaway. Another man catches up to him and extends his hand, saying "I will help you!". Gmax looks sideways for a bit and slows down, asking "What can you do?", but then realizes his mistake as the mysterious man runs a dagger through his heart. "Ohww...dios mio..." says Gmax, as he falls to the ground.

Dear Gmax,
You are El Chupacabra. You are aligned with the Monsters Which May or May Not Exist.

WROAR RAWR RAWR RAAAAH. Look at the doggie! He's not a doggie, he's El Chupacabra! I'm running! I will help you!

What can you do? Once in the game, you may send a PM entitled "Cycle X - I will turn into Chupacabra, too!" Good idea! At the end of the current cycle, everyone's lynch votes will be edited to "OH MY GOD! CHUPACABRA FIGHT!" and there will be no lynch. This action has a higher priority than the lynch itself.

The Monsters Which May or May Not Exist may also decide on killing someone each Cycle, though you may not kill in both Cycle 1 and Cycle 2. If you are chosen to execute the kill, you will torture your target to death by forcing them to watch every single Twilight movie.

You win if the Monsters Which May or May Not Exist win.
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(click the picture)

The spectacle and its result up your spirits, but not for long, as when you turn on the news you receive word of the tragic ending of polelover44. He fell off a large building, aiming for a garbage truck, but missed and hit the streets instead.

Dear polelover44,
You are Shiro Emiya. You are aligned with the Things You Find on the Internet.

You are a guy from Fate/stay night. Goodhearted, honest, you like helping others and you despise the use of the Holy Grail. You are best known for one certain badly translated line.

Each Cycle, you may send a PM entitled "Cycle X - [user] died when he was killed" Your target must be dead. You will discover whether the Monsters or the Well-Armed Men killed this user.

You win if the Things You Find on the Internet win.
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(click the 101010101100 picture)

The next death shown on telly was even worse. Veedrock was found under another recent avalanche. His corpse looks like an icecube.

Dear Veedrock,
You are Kesuke Miyagi. You are aligned with the Things You Find on the Internet.

You are a master of all that is martial arts. You originally learned karate from your father, and chose to pass it on to several apprentices. There is no time for a training course now, though.

A karate master must at all times be aware of his surroundings and enemies. At the end of every Cycle, you will get to know how many people have targeted you, but you will not know their identity.

Right now, you have adopted a defensive stance. However, if throughout the game, you have been targeted two times, you will step up and use your expertise to defeat someone in a fight to the death. You will be notified when this occurs. You cannot gain more than two kills this way.

You win if the Things You Find on the Internet win.
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Rodriguez out. The final death is probably the most gruesome of all. RB Golbat's body was found in his home, shot with what seems to be some kind of advanced weapon. His door lock was intact, so he probably answered the door to his murderer.

Dear RB Golbat,
You are Mushu. You are aligned with the Things You Find on the Internet.

You were sent by the ancestors of the Fa family line to awaken the Great Stone Dragon, but you failed and broke the thing instead. To avoid the wrath of your superiors, you devoted yourself to protecting Mulan yourself. Since you don't see Mulan anywhere, you'll just protect other people instead while you're at it.

Each Cycle, you may send a PM entitled "Cycle X - Making a war hero out of [user]" You will accompany your target throughout the whole Cycle, spouting flames at whoever intends to kill him or her, scaring them off.

You win if the Things You Find on the Internet win.
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You await your instructions on who to gang up on next, but nothing seems to come. Where the hell has reyscarface gone now that you need him? billymills seems to have returned in one piece though.

It is now Cycle 5. It'll last until Saturday, 20:00 GMT+1, or whenever majority comes and actions are all sent in.
 
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