I have to get to GOLDENROD for myEnemy ???????
Join Date: Jul 2010
Alright everyone, this is going to be the base post for my hard difficulty Blue Scramble Challange! This post will be linked to in my compendium and signature, and will be where all my updates are posted. Keep an eye out as I intend on updating regularly!
Screentime the Pidgey/Pidgeotto/Pidgeot
Jimera, take Screentime the Pidgey. As the name implies, its still pissed that Ash's Pidgeotto didn't get enough screen time. It must evolve into Pidgeotto during your first trip through Viridian Forest, i.e., once you go on, you can't come out until Ash evolves. As a Pidgeotto, the fun begins.
-Solo every Trainer-owned Pikachu/Raichu, Caterpie line, Mankey line, and the Krabby you see (including Lt. Surge's), as they all stole its fucking screen time.
-Solo your rival's starter whenever possible
-It must have one status move at all times
-It can only evolve after learning Mirror Move at lvl 49
-It must have one TM move whever possible
-Solo Misty, because the bastard Pikachu stole that rightful honor from him.
Shout the Nidoran-M/Nidorino/Nidoking
Reserving for Jimera. One MVP coming up (I love giving easy challanges after really hard challanges).
EDIT: Jimera, take Shout the Nidoran-M. Shout just loves the song "You make me wanna shout", and such wants to spread it around the world, so every time he KOs a pokemon, you get to sing (or think) "You make me wanna _____" (you can pick pretty much any word there). Now, with that done, he also loves POWER, and such must learn Horn Drill and 1 TM move. Solo Koga, and your rival once. Also, he can evolve after you catch 2 team members, and again as soon as you get the Moon Stone. Finally, always keep 1 status move, and use it at least once during each solo. Enjoy! (if you REALLY hate the singing/thinking one, I'll change it.)
EDIT 2: Oh, I almost forgot. That TM move, it must be RNGed/ under 60 BP. Take your pick. Also, if you want to, Shout must always be in your party with one of your other scramblemons. (Not sure which Iíll do yet, will decide when the time comes)
EDIT 3: Sorry for all the edits, but I just realized that KS and waterwarrior and I all have confilicting challanges. KS and water both have you solo the rival's starter (KS one other too), and me the entire team once. To solve this problem(somewhat), choose any other gym leader to solo instead, or just do it before you evolve either of the others (if you can.) No matter what, enjoy!(Might solo Rival very first time I encounter him, but failing that thereís always Erika)
Bud the Bulbasaur/Ivysaur/Venusaur
From The Reptile:
Jimera0, take Bud the Bulbasaur
Bud doesn't like anything that is unnatural, thus Bud can only learn Poison-, Grass-, and Normal-type attacks. Bud can also only learn 1 TM move, and no HM moves. Also, Bud loves to inflict indirect damage, thus it must learn a move that does indirect damage ASAP, and must always have exactly 1 attack that does indirect damage. He must also have at least 1 other non attacking move on him at all times. Bud must evolve 5 levels after the level it would normally level up, as Bud likes to take his time and wants to live young as long as possible. (in example, instead of evolving to Ivysaur at level 16, it would evolve at level 21. Press B to stop evolution when it tries to evolve)
TongueTied the Zubat/Golbat
From Its A Random:
Jimera0 gets a Zubat. As a Zubat, not much happens, but you do need to evolve it at the earliest possible moment...Before you enter the Rock Tunnel...When you get your Golbat, you realise something is incredibly wrong with it, for unlike any other Golbat, this one has...A tongue! How can a harmless Zubat become something so horrible...
Growing a tongue, of course, has some massive implications. It's hindered it so much that it cannot use Leech Life, Bite, & Mega Drain, as the tongue makes it impossible for it to even get its fangs close to the prey. Next having the tongue makes it very angry Pokemon & forces it to be brutal all the time, so it cannot use any non-attacking moves, & you may not use items while it is on the field (Doesn't stop you from switching it out first...), & because you want hard, its tongue wants it to kill shady characters, forcing it to solo Blaine. Lastly, because of its Tongue, it must be at least the third highest leveled member on your team at all times.
Name it TongueTied.
Have fun. (omitting the last part b/c thatís level based and when I said no level restrictions that is exactly what I meant.)
Chapter 1: Monochromatic Dreams
Well hey there everyone! I decided that it was time I delved into the realms of nostalgia and played the game where it all started! (Well one of the two... in North America anyway). Thatís right, Iím playing Blue version (On my decade and a half old Gameboy Pocket too!). For extra lulz, I asked for challanges that are a little harder than usual and it seems people delivered. This isnít going to be an insanely difficult challange, but it will still be my hardest yet. Without further ado, letís begin shall we?
*watches nostalgic opening cinematic*
Yes, a Jigglypuff vs. a Gengar. What an epically fair fight...
*Selects New Game*
Hello there Professor Oak! Damn, your sprite looks grouchy. You forget your coffee this morning?
Well anyway, my name is Jimera, the same as always old man. You seem to forget every time I meet you...
And you still canít remember the name of your own grandson... *sigh*. This time Iíll be nice and give him his real name instead of calling him Derp. Your grandsonís name is Blue you old nitwad. B-L-U-E. Itís not that goddamn hard to remember!
*Familiar shrinking feeling*
And boom! Just like that Iím in the most pixelated house known to mankind. Damn, does the screen ever blur when you move... this is going to take some time for my eyes to get used to. No backlighting either :S. And the Pocket is so freakiní tiny! Well I had better get used to it... thereís only what, 70 hours of gameplay ahead?
Lol thereís an SNES in here. Guess that just shows this gameís age...
Oh a Potion in my PC you say? Well I donít mind if I do *swipes it*
*Mom goes on about how TV told her all boys leave home someday*
Well I guess that line was just a holdover from the old days then... Gamefreak values nostalgia more than common sense. Good to know Iím in good hands.
Holy shit, was there endless swathes of tall grass just outside of Pallet Town in LeafGreen too? Damn, itís kind of intimidating... Those bizarre cylindrical fence pillars must be holding back a lot of wild Pokemon.
Well I know what to do here now then... Into the tall grass, so I can startle a wild Pokemon Professor!
ďItís unsafe! Wild Pokemon live in tall grass!Ē
Ah the classics.
You all know the drill. He takes me to his lab and I pick Bud the Bulbasaur up, ready to go kick some ass! And the first ass I kick is Blueís in a fierce war of scratches, growls and tackles. Enthralling.
Well, time to play delivery boy and bring Oak his Parcel. No, I havenít made it to Viridian yet. I donít have to. I just played LeafGreen and this is the first video game I ever owned. You can bet I know this shit by now.
Pidgey have black, unfeeling eyes in this game.
*Scarred for life*
Oh and Gust is normal type. Freaky, I know.
*A couple Rattata and Pidgey later*
*Bud learned Leech Seed!*
Epic! Thereís one requirement filled already!
*Collects a free Potion before booking it into Viridian*
Alright, Iím just going to go straight to the Pokemart after healing. Weíll do the exploring when I get back here with a Pokedex.
Oh the nostalgia! The Pokemon Centers of old, with the healing on the left side of the building instead of in the center. So many memories...
*Quick trip later*
Blah blah, hereís your package, blah blah take the Pokedex and do my work for me, blah blah free at last! Letís grab a Town Map from Blueís sister and then get the hell out of here! Itís time to catch Screentime! But first I need some Pokeballs... to the Pokemart I go then!
*Buys a few Antidote and some Pokeballs*
Alright, might as well take a look around town while Iím here...
No, I donít give a damn about the caterpillar Pokemon, no I donít give a shit about the information at the Pokemon school I already know, nickname guy is here and I donít give a shit, the gym is locked and... Oh no. The Pokemon catching tutorial D:
Wait. Itís OPTIONAL? HOLY SHIT AND THEY CHANGED THAT IN SUBSEQUENT INSTALLMENTS WHY? Iím speechless. I can only worship this old man for not being a total asshole like every other catching tutor in the Pokemon series ever.
WELL enough of that. I have two team members to catch! Screentime and Shout are both in the immediate area, so I guess I had better get to catching the two of them now shouldnít I?
*Screentime is easily caught in around 20 seconds*
Well that was easy! Now for Shout... with only a 5% encounter rate, this is likely to take a while. Well not to worry, I can catch more shit for my Pokedex (Iíll need entries so I can get items!) while Iím looking for him. I just have to be careful not to go too far and activate the rival battle...
*a Rattata and a Nidoran-F are caught and Sand-Attack is gained by Screentime. Still no Nidoran-M*
Well itís a damn good thing I need to grind anyway, because this would be excruciating otherwise...
*A little while later*
OH YES! ITíS A NI-Spearow. Itís a Spearow. Well I guess Iíll catch it for the dex... damn that is one wicked looking beak.
Oh thank lord, I thought for sure that Iíd crit it. Welcome to the team Shout! Now I got to grind you up so you can solo my Rival and get your shit out of the way early. Thatís right, itís grindiní time!
(not that I havenít been grinding already).
*after a bunch more grinding everyone is at level 10 and Shout learns Horn Attack*
Alright, good stuff. Horn Attack just flat out wastes shit at this point in the game. Now I think itís time for the first solo of the game, donít you? Here I come Blue... I hope youíre ready (well actually no, I hope youíre unprepared and weak as shit).
Alright, so hereís the plan. I go up to him, and Shout is all like ďI got this, leave this bitch to meĒ and then he stabs everything up the anus with Horn Attack. Sometimes the simplest strategies are the best ones.
So anyway, Blue informs me, in his slightly insulting way, that I canít go to the Pokemon league yet because I donít have any badges. Then he asks if my Pokemon are stronger now and battles me. Yah know, this guy really isnít as big a douchebag as I remember him being.
*He leads with Pidgey, and I lead with Shout*
ANAL RAPEAGE TIME!
*Horn Attack KOs pretty quickly despite Sand Attack messing with his accuracy*
You make me wanna RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEE
Anyway, switching out to undo the accuracy loss then switching him back in. Canít afford to miss in a battle like this.
*Charmander comes out, switch goes as planned*
*It is 2HKOíd thanks to a Critical Hit*
You make me wanna raónot talk about rape. O=)
So victory is had, Blue blames it on luck (cmon man, the crit hax meant nothing!) and tells me to stop ďdawdlingĒ and go kill shit. Sounds good, Iíll go get right on that.
Except that I need to evolve Screentime while heís in Viridian Forest and I canít leave until he evolves. Unfortunately, the level at which he evolves is level freaking 18. So I had better grind up pretty close to level 18 before I go in there lest I be unable to meet the requirement. Welp, this is going to be fun. At least I can catch a Caterpie on route 2 while Iím at it...
*Gets Screentime up to level 16, gets the other two up to level 13 since I expect it to take all the trainers in the forest to level up Screentime again.*
There. Bud got Vine Whip and Screentime got Quick Attack, both of which will be quite useful I think.
*This took hours*
Alright before I go into the forest I need to save to ensure that, if by some stroke of ill fate, I fail at evolving the already grossly overleveled Screentime, I donít have to restart after hours of progress. Itís time to fight some trainers that arenít story important now! Woooo!
Someone helpfully painted arrows pointing onto the forest floor at the entrance. Yeah thanks, big help.
*Proceeds to demolish everything with Screentime, the most overleveled Pokemon Iíve used since my starter the first time I played this game*
*after defeating him*
Bug Catcher: No! Caterpie canít cut it!
*Checks, Caterpie cannot learn Cut*
Both literally and figuratively.
*Gets through all the Bug Catchers with Screentime, who doesnít even go up one level*
More grinding I suppose
*Catches a Metapod, Pikachu, and accidentally faints the 1% Kakuna and 5% Weedle by the time Screentime evolves*
Well there we go (goddamn the Pidgeotto sprite is fat)! Now Screentime is about as overpowered as anything Iíve ever used (and as obese). Definitely going to be levelling the others before I use him again though, thatís for sure (I just hope he doesnít have a heart attack in the meantime).
Well anyway, thatís Viridian Forest! Next up, Pewter City! Letís take a look around town shall we?
*in the Pokemon Centre*
Ah itís the classic singing and dancing Jigglypuff! (Represented by a Clefairy sprite. Yup.)
*Guy in garden*
Guy: Iím spraying Repel to keep wild Pokemon out of my garden!
.... And yet you have no problem with me walking in here and trampling all over it. Guess Iím cool with that.
*Goes one step too close to Route 3*
Annoying guy: HEY THERE GO TO THE GYM NOW NOW NOW NOW OR I WILL TRAP YOU HERE FOREVER HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
.... Fuck you. So much.
*Talks to the wrong guy*
Other Annoying Guy: OH HEY HAVE YOU CHECKED THE MUSEUM???????????
Me: uhhhh.... maybe?
OAG: COME LOOK AT IT NOW NOW NOW I JERK OFF TO THE THOUGHT OF THE MUSEUM EVERY DAY ISNíT IT AWESOME.
Me: Please... just... stay away from me. Iíll go in just... stay away.
Oh thatís right! The most epic sprites in the game are here; the fossil Pokemon skeletons! Seriously, theyíre more detailed than most of the living Pokemon... and better proportioned.
OId guy in space section: July 20, 1969! The 1st lunar landing! I bought a color TV to watch it!Ē
Wait what? Moon landing? In Pokemon? But but but this is an alternate universe right? With Pokemon and shit? And yet the moon landings happened on the same day? What?
*reads plaque on Space Shuttle Exhibit*
Sign: Space Shuttle Columbia
BUT DIDNíT THAT ONE BLOW UP?????? HUH? WHAT? ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGG!!!!
*after recovering from cranial eruption*
AHEM anyway... done here, so I guess now I can move onto Brockís Gym. Bud should be able to cruise through the place in about 20 seconds.
First off the ďLightyearsĒ kid. I donít need to say anything else. You all know who Iím talking about.
*Shout OHKOs his Diglet*
You make me wanna dance!
*Shout eventually takes out his Sandshrew*
You make me wanna eat underpaaaaants
.... shut up it just popped into my head.
Anyway, Shout got to level 14 from that and learned Poison Sting, so now he has STAB! A STAB that is weaker than his Tackle, but STAB nonetheless.
Alright, now itís time for the big boss. Who will be easier than the Bug Catchers in Viridian Forest. Letís go Brock, Iíll show you why itís a bad idea to have an entire team 4x weak to the same two types!
*Bud pops out and faces off against his Geodude*
Oh shit, i had forgot how fricken weird Geodude looked in gen 1. It looks like it has some sort of 50s hairdo and is dancing to disco. And those eyes.
THOSE EYES! KILL IT BUD KILL IT!
Whew, just his much less demonic looking Onix left. Time to end this!
*Vine Whip makes giant rock snakes seem less threatening than kittens. Kittens without legs*
WELP that was easy. A far cry from my fight with Brock on Leaf Green (in case you forgot, I kind of lost my first attempt against him. Yeaaaaah).
So he hands me my prizes, the Boulderbadge and TM 34... Bide. Shit. I was hoping Iíd be able to avoid having to use that until later in the game. Oh well...
So that just about wraps up this chapter! Join me next time for spelunking, hiking and swimming! Ok, maybe Iíll just be battling over a swimming pool but goddamit, it counts! Anyway, until next time, audios!
END OF CHAPTER SUMMARY:
Location: Pewter City
Retries: 0 (Retries instead of blackouts so Iím forced to be more honest eh heh...)
Bud the Bulbasaur
Bud is doing just as well as youíd expect a starter to do early on in a challange. Between his natural bulk and Leech Seed he has easily powered his way through all his opponents. His grass type STAB was also invaluable against Brock, who fell to him easily. Now as for the future, I have a few ideas. His restrictions limit him a little bit, but not so much that Iím worried. There was a strategy Iíve used with the Bulbasaur line in the past that worked quite well and falls within the restrictions, so Iíll probably use that. Of course there is the fact that Leech Seed is half as powerful in generation 1 as it is in other generations... oh well. Weíll see what I end up doing with it later.
Screentime the Pidgeotto
Thanks to all the grinding I had to do in order to get him to evolve into Pidgeotto inside Viridian Forest, Screentime is as overpowered as heck right now. However I expect that to change before too long for a few reasons. One is that it doesnít actually get any Flying-type moves until level 31 (Wing Attack) so I get no additional coverage from him now. Secondly, I canít evolve him again until level forty-fucking-nine. Thirdly, I fully expect his requirement of fighting Lt. Surgeís Pikachu and Raichu to be hell incarnate. I can only hope I am wrong.
Shout the Nidoran-M
Shout has been a boss so far, easily dispatching my rival for his solo requirement and otherwise destroying shit left and right with Horn Attack. Seeing as I have Horn Attack, donít expect Poison Sting to get used any time soon (weaker and poison stall doesnít really work for offensively distributed stats). As for his future, well, letís just say Iím looking forward to it. OH and Iíve decided to RNG his TM since thereís a better chance of landing on a move better than 60BP than there is of him landing on a useless move. Also, Rage doesnít count because itís bugged to hell and back. So here goes! *RNGs a number between 1 and 30.* Alright then... 23 that corresponds to... Double Team. Well, could have been worse!
Chapter 2: Shit Does Not Go As Planned
Alright, Iím back! Iíve just finished hiding the body and Iím ready to progress!
Wait I didnít have to kill the Route 3 blocker to progress? Oh... well no one is going to complain right?
So anyway, Route 3, here I come! Time to blow my way through a dozen or so trainers that seem to congregate there for no reason.
Bug Catcher: ďHey I met you in Viridian Forest!Ē
Ah yes, the Bug Catcher that can be in two places at once. That or he stalks me, since heís never not in one of those spots when you go to them... Either way, itís pretty damned disturbing.
Youngster: ďHey I like shorts! Theyíre comfy and easy to wear!Ē
As opposed to pants, which are hard to wear. *eyeroll* And comfy all year Ďround instead of just in summer. Just admit it kid, you have a fetish.
Oh and he has an Ekans that uses Wrap. Fuck. For those of you that donít know, in Gen 1 Wrap and other partial trapping moves actually completely immobilized you for their duration. Yes itís horrible. Yes itís unfair. And yes itíll probably get me killed at some point.
Youngster: ďHey, youíre not wearing shorts!Ē
O.o Sorry, didnít know it was a rule for the freaky short fetish fanclub thatís Route 3. Or does that mark me of a member of a rival gang or something? Is that why youíre attacking me?
Youngster: ďLost! Lost! Lost!Ē
Ok scratch those theories. This is a cult. Definitely a cult.
*Suddenly, Shout is evolving!*
And I can let him since I already have 2 Pokemon other than him! SWEET! You are now teh pwnage.
*Suddenly Bud is evolving!*
Curse you and your wanting to be young longer. I have to wait until level 21 for you...
Lass: ďEek! Did you touch me?Ē
No, and even if I did itís not like I have the plague. Or are you implying that I touched you inappropriately?
*Proceeds to have a very long and annoying fight with her sleep abusing Jigglypuff*
Thank lord for Leech Seed...
Oh a Pokemon Center! How convenient! Letís see what there is to see here.
According to this newspaper, Team Rocket is attacking Cerulean citizens. Flat out attacking them themselves too, not just stealing their shit. Is it just me or is Team Rocket a lot more sinister than I remembered?
Oh, and thereís a ďManĒ here looking to sell me a super special awesome Pokemon for only 500 Pokedollars! Why, I will take that, and name it Random after the random ass guy who sold it to me. Welcome to the team Random the Magikarp! Donít worry, youíll be a big boy someday soon...
Heh... his party sprite looks like a legless Kirby. I wanna poke it. *poke*
Anyway, Iím going to grind him up a few levels while Iím here, see if I canít get him on par with the rest of the team. Sure I wonít be using him for a while, but the sooner he evolves the better.
*While grinding catches a Jigglypuff despite being sung to sleep CONSTANTLY*
Well that was annoying. Also, Random is taking a long to time to level up... Looks there are more hours of grinding ahead! Yay?
And itís looking like I need more Pokeballs. I guess Iíll go back to Pewter and buy a few supplies
*Has exactly 1 Pokedollar left when done shopping*
Well. Not going to be buying much more with that.
Anyway going to grind inside Viridian Forest for a bit, see if I can get Weedle and Kakuna.
*against a Kakuna gets super effective message after using Poison Sting*
I learned two things after checking Bulbapedia. 1: Poison is super effective against Bug in Gen I. 2: The secondary type causes a bug where it says itís super effective instead of normally effective like it actually is. It does that for any attack where itís super effective against the first type but the second resists it. Fail Gamefreak is fail.
Also, I need more goddamn Pokeballs but I donít have any money. Who wouldíve thought that a Weedle and a Kakuna would require 6 Pokeballs between them? I guess Iíll have to backtrack and buy some after I get some money in Mt. Moon from the trainers there.
Speaking of which, Iím moving my training to Mt. Moon. Iím not going all the way through it just yet, but Iíll get experience faster in there. Oh, also, TongueTied is in there!
Wait I just found TM12 in here. Thatís... Water Gun? Water Gun was a TM? Well whatever, Iíll take it.
*Encounters and catches a Zubat*
Welcome to the team TongueTied! I expect you to be almost completely useless throughout the whole game! Arenít you excited now?
Sign: ďBeware! Zubat is a blood sucker!Ē
Oh, thatís a lovely detail to share in a kidís game. And they arenít kidding either, in gen 1 Bug is super effective against Poison for some reason (and vice versa) so both Shout and Bud are weak to their Leech Life attack. And I thought it wasnít possible for Zubat to get any more annoying...
*As I head out of Mt. Moon to buy some Pokeballs*
A Clefairy? I ran into a Clefairy, for real? AND I DONíT HAVE ANY POKEBALLS?
*suddenly, the batteries die*
... Well itís a good thing I saved just before that happened. And that was after only 7 hours of gameplay. Shit, I canít afford to use this many AAA batteries... I donít think I even HAVE that many AAA batteries! Hang on... yeah thatíll work. I have a solution!
*Pulls out N64, Pokemon Stadium, and an N64 Transfer Pack*
HUZZAH! No more need for batteries! Of course now itís got a little bit of color and that kind of messes with the nostalgia... ah well. The cool thing is that now I actually get to use this feature of Stadium for something useful! And the border is frigginí sweet and the screen is so much bigger and way less hard on my eyes... alright this is cool.
Aaand the floor in Mt. Moon is green now. Iím not even going to try and reason why that is and just accept it.
*Catches a Geodude, out of Pokeballs again*
This is going to become a theme isnít it?
Oh noes, itís a Team Rocket Grunt! Whatever shall I do?
Hang on a second, is that a WHIP?
Shit, they didnít fuck around in Gen I
*kicks his sorry ass anyway*
*encounters a Super Nerd*
Why the hell are you kneeling? Good god, you look like something that just crawled out of a sewer...
Anyway, I forgot that thereís no Steel type in Gen I and therefore thought his Magnemite would be hell to take down because I had nothing to hit it with. Not the case of course, since itís pure Electric-type in Gen I. Itís amazing how much of a difference one type can make.
*Against a Lass*
Holy shit what the hell-fuck is wrong with Bellsprouts face? I mean just look at it and tell me that isnít horribly deformed.
Yeah you canít can you. Because that looks like the result of several generations of inbreeding and one count of bestiality right there that does.
Alright, thatís enough actual exploring in here for now... I just need to get some EXP for Random and ToungeTied now.
*Catches a Paras while training, ToungTied learns Bite and becomes a little less useless*
This is taking hours, just so you know. Whatís taking you around 3 seconds to read took me 3 or 4 hours to play through :D.
.... Bite looks like Strength from the later games. Thereís absolutely nothing that says ďbiteĒ about it; it looks like 3 punch stars in succession. Thatís... disappointing. Cmon, I know youíre not working with much here but would it kill you to add a couple fangs Gamefreak?
Well thatís all the training for now I think. Random is going to stay in front and keep getting EXP, and Tongue Tied will be doing most of the fighting since heís only level 15 whereas everyone else is level 18. Iím pretty sure Iím overleveled but whatever, letís keep going. Through Mt. Moon we go!
*runs into a Clefairy and manages to catch it with his last Pokeball*
HELL YEAH! I thought for sure Iíd end up running out and then Iíd have to come back later or something. This is so much better because it means I never, ever have to come back here after I get through it.
Oh I found TM01 Mega Punch! Thereís a good chance of that coming in handy eventually, but for the time being Iíll just hold onto it.
*Team Rocket grunt tells me to hand over any fossils I find*
So thatís why youíre here eh? Well youíre sure doing a good job of that now arenít you.
*that was sarcasm in case youíre dense*
Oh wow, the Hikers in this game look shirtless on the world map but in battle are wearing bulky as all fuck vests. Nice continuity there Gamefreak.
Random learned Tackle so now heís technically able to fight! Of course he still wonít be doing much of that until after he evolves, what with him being a Magikarp and all.
Team Rocket Grunt: ďKids shouldnít mess around in adult business!Ē
*Sends out the infamous lv 16 Raticate with Hyper fang*
Well fuck. For once a Rocket Grunt has the means to back up his words.
*It knocks out Screentime*
....... at least I got it down to the red first
*Full restore. No Iím just fucking with you, TongueTied finishes it off*
Well that was nasty. Itís a damn good thing I was overleveled or that fucker could have run through my whole damn team.
Oh I found a Moon Stone! And after looking at the other moves that Nidorino gets by levelling up... yeah better to just evolve him now. Fury Attack and Focus Energy (which doesnít work in Gen I) arenít really worth it and Double Kick isnít learned until level freaking 50 and Iím not waiting that long. So yeah, time to evolve again already Shout! (Damn this is such a Disc One Nuke [look it up on TV tropes people])
Team Rocket Grunt near the end: ďYou made me mad! Team Rocket will blacklist you!Ē
... Is that supposed to be a threat? Really, that reads more like a compliment to me.
Ah, and hereís the super nerd whoís desperate to keep his fossils, yet doesnít put them in his bag (he does it with one later so thereís no reason why he couldnítíve done that before you got there). Some smarts youíve got there bub.
Whoa holy shit. Koffingís face is like, upside-down. The skull and crossbones are on his freakiní forehead.
Seriously this fucked up!
So, now that Iíve beat you youíre telling me not to get greedy and only take one. After you just tried to claim both. Hypocrite much?
*got the Helix Fossil!*
Yay, awesome, now letís get the hell-fuck out of here.
*steps into the glaring daylight outside*
GLORIUS! I AM FREEEEE! Never, ever am I going back in there! Ever. Hell cave of annoyance. I spent way, way too frickiní long in that place training TongueTied the Weak and Random the Useless. I canít wait until theyíre both a bit stronger...
Oh I found TM04 Whirlwind. Useless *chucks it into the bag in preparation for shoving it into the PC for eternity*
*crosses the invisible boundary between Cerulean City and Route 4, suddenly the main colour changes from green to blue*
Holy shit, I guess they took the ďCeruleanĒ part of ďCerulean CityĒ seriously for the color versions.
City Sign: ďCerulean City: A Mysterious, Blue Aura Surrounds ItĒ
Yeah I noticed O.o you guys might want to get that checked out.
Anyway, letís see what else is in town...
Oh thatís right, I remember from LeafGreen; the entire town is brainwashed by Bill so that they talk about him incessantly. It seems to be centered at the Pokemon Center... I wonder if theyíre in on it.
I remember most of this stuff from Leaf Green... overpriced bikes, crime in town, idiot girl trying to get her Slowbro to use a move it canít learn, the guy who wants to trade Poliwhirl for Jinx, the hidden Rare Candy behind the house of a guy who natters on about badges, the rival battle at Nugget Bridge which Iím not triggering just yet, etc. All the jokes there are to be made here have already been made, so Iíll just leave it at that.
Now, my first order of business is to replenish my Pokeball supply. Thankfully I got a fair bit of money going through Mt. Moon so thatís no problem.
*Goes to Route 4 and immediately catches a Sandshrew*
Heh, well Random does know Tackle, letís try and kill this Spearow with him just for fun.
*He defeats the Spearow with half his health to spare*
O.O I... I can train him normally. Well, thatís good to know! I guess Iíll level him up to 18 too... soon heíll evolve and then shit can get really going!
*Later, everyone is now level 18*
Alright, time to fight Blue! Since Random hasnít evolved yet thereís no need for me to solo anything with him, meaning the only requirement for this battle is giving Screentime some screen time against his starter. I think this should go pretty easily.
Iím struggling along Blue? Really? Just for that, Iím going to kick your ass to hell and back.
*He sends out his Pidgeotto, I send out TongueTied*
Yeah, I shoulda put someone else in the lead spot. TongueTied does NOT have this. Hmmm I havenít used Shout since I evolved him, letís see how he does *trollface*
*Stunningly it actually manages to get Shout down past half health*
You make me wanna choke on my own words! Damn that fucker was strong. I guess they were the same level...
*He sends out his Abra, I send out Random*
The only battle against him Random can actually do. Seeing as Abra has no attacks other than teleport
. I mean really. Thatís just sad.
*Several sloppy tackles later it goes down*
Getting beat by a Magikarp. That CANNOT feel good. Alright, Rattata next... hmmm I wonder if Random stands a chance?
*One Hyper Fang shows clearly he does not*
OK nevermind, change of plans. Bud, clean this up.
*One Vine Whip finishes it off, Charmander is next*
Alright Screentime, hereís your chance! Show this salamander whoís really hot right now!
*Quick Attack 2HKOs thanks to a Crit, Screentime gets out untouched*
Thatís the way to show Ďem! Nice work Screentime, I guess we can call that a match then!
Oh no Blue is obsessed with Bill now too! Heís fallen under his control! Leave now while you still can Blue! Leave now!
*He does so, but for reasons unbeknownst to me*
Wait, why did I let him get away? I couldíve let Bill have him then I wouldnít be bothered by him anymore... oh well, too late now.
Alright, now for Nugget Bridge! More experience for me!
Hmmm I have a theory about Nugget Bridge. These people on here, they seem to have no connection to each other yet here they are doing a contest for Team Rocket. But why? Well the answer is as simple as looking at whatís nearby... BILL! Team Rocket is using Billís evil technology to brainwash these trainers into serving them! I mean, the way they all repeat ďI have no regretsĒ like automatons... itís not natural! This HAS to be the only explanation!
That or it could be lazy writing and programming. Either one.
Oh hey the last one has a Mankey! At least I THINK that mutated tentacle monster is a Mankey.
Seriously, I didnít know it was possible to fuck up a sprite that bad.
Anyway, Screentimeís revenge time :D
And hereís the disguised Rocket Grunt. Why donít they all wear disguises instead of announcing themselves via terrible uniforms? Ah well, best not to question these sorts of things, not when it makes them easier to stop. Anyway, thanks for the Nugget but thereís no way Iím going to join you, even if it means I have to fight you. Actually, especially if it means I get to fight you. I like beating the crap out of you little shits.
Jr. Trainer in tall grass: ďI saw your feat (sic) from the tall grass!Ē
Wooooow nice proofreading there Gamefreak! I think they used spell-check then didnít double check the corrections.
Ooo TM45 Thunderwave. I wonder if any of my current team can learn it. Itíd be useful for catching Pokemon...
*entire team is unable to learn it*
... Fuck you.
Alright so Bellsprout has been caught so I can move on! Letís fight this Hiker and his Ma-
Holy shit why is that tail so long? Itís like a tiny stub usually but that thing is long enough to strangle someone with. And that face is so derpy... not as bad as the Mankey one, but seriously Gamefreak, what were you on?
Oh, and then he sends out a Geodude. Suddenly that Machop sprite doesnít look so bad.
Youngster: ďLocal trainers come here to practiceĒ
Ahhhh, so thatís why thereís such a huge concentration of trainers here. I remember wondering that during Leaf Green... it all makes sense now.
*Suddenly, Random is evolving!*
OH THE BRILLIANCE! Just... please donít kill me. Kill everyone else, just not me. Thanks. Oh and I have to teach you this useless TM now. Please donít kill me because of it.
Oh, I just realized that Screentime is supposed to have a TM of his own... I guess I can teach it Whirlwind once I get back to the Pokemon center (yes I did shove it directly into the PC as soon as I could).
And speaking of TMs, TM19 Seismic Toss is here. Only Shout is able to learn it though and I see no need to teach it to him just yet. Iíll hold onto it for now...
Hmmm Bud wants to learn Poison Powder. I wish I could, but Leech Seed is better and his restrictions mean I canít have both (though stacking the two would be useful). Unfortunately, Iím going to have to pass this one up.
Well here we are, the home of the mad one himself! I will now enter his dark lair and inexplicably help him, probably because of his mind control. And then he gives me a boat ticket because why not, heís too busy being evil to attend. And then from then on, his mark is left on me forever, for now Someoneís PC is eternally renamed Billís PC. God help us all.
Well anyway, now I have no reason not to go fight Misty. Screentime, time to get the recognition you deserve! Letís show that bitch whoís boss!
First though, you need to learn your TM as per requirement...
*Teaches Whirlwind to Screentime*
And then a couple lackeys to destroy
*Screentime gladly does so*
Alright, now itís time for the big girl. Letís rumble Misty! Misty, who appears to have black hair... (da fuk?)
*She leads with Staryu, while Screentime stares it down*
Alright Screentime, time to show it what youíre made of! Quick Attack until it canít stand up anymore!
*Misty uses an X Defend on her Staryu... after Iíve already knocked it down into the Red*
*Screentime finishes it off*
Alright, now for the big one, Starmie... I think a half jillion Sand-Attacks are in order!
*She uses X-Defend on it right away, though it has Harden so the reasoning behind that move is fuzzy*
Alright, 3 sand attacks should be enough. Quick Attack like nuts now!
*it uses Bubblebeam, which misses but also makes me realize that if it does hit Iím going to get KOíd*
Yah know, potions are looking mighty good right now.
*Two Tackles and a Bubblebeam hit, forcing me to keep using potions*
Suddenly this doesnít look so certain...
*A Bubblebeam connects when Screentime is at half health, KOing him*
..... FUCK. I donít have any revives either!
.... Goddamn this! I donít know what to do here... there arenít any X-Items to buy yet... goddamn it! I guess Iíll just try again and use more Sand-Attacks this time.
*Staryu is eliminated in much the same way as before*
Alright, now for Starmie... Sand-Attack until it canít see the floor in front of it!
*It still connects with Bubble Beam after 5 Sand-Attacks, Screentime faints*
FUCK! Ok, after that, just to see how it would go, I sent out Shout who took out Starmie without even getting touched despite it taking like 7 turns, so Iím thinking I just got unlucky. AGAIN!
*Staryu gets two damn crits in a row on Screentime so heís already at half health by the time Starmie comes out*
Well this doesnít bode well.
*Through the use of several potions and some luck, Screentime manages to get Starmie to -6 accuracy*
Alright, now Quick Attack time. Just gotta hope for some luck...
*Bubblebeam somehow connects and crits, OHKOing Screentime from nearly full health*
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- Ok, this bullshit can only go on for so long! AGAIN DAMNIT!
*Staryu goes down leaving Screentime at 2/3 health*
Alright, here we go again....
*Bubblebeam hits and crits again, KO*
BULLSHIT! WHY DOES IT ALWAYS CRIT?
*Attempt #5 starts with Staryu bringing Screentime to 45/65HP*
This had better freaking work this time...
*Bubblebeam hits twice in a row despite 3 Sand Attacks, KOs despite a Potion getting used*
FUCKING BULLSHIT HAX RAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGG
*Goes Super Saiyan, doesnít help*
*Attempt #6, Starmie comes out with Screentime at 55/65*
Cmon, this is just getting ridiculous...
*it takes every last Potion I have to get it to -6 Accuracy*
Ok if it hits now I am going to be pissed like you wouldnít believe.
*A Water Gun and a Tackle connect, but miraculously leave Screentime with 9HP. It is one Quick Attack away from fainting *
If Misty has a Potion I am going to cry.
*She doesnít, but Quick Attack misses.*
............. You have got to be fucking kidding me.
*Thankfully Water Gun misses too*
Oh thank you RNG gods, thank you!
*Quick Attack finally finishes it off*
HOLY SHIT YES! AND IT ONLY COST ME 9 MOTHERFUCKING POTIONS AND TOOK 6 ATTEMPTS!
*Breaks down sobbing*
*Manages to drown Misty with no one looking stashes the body in a corner, steals her Cascadebadge and TM11 Bubblebeam*
Shhhhhhh... no one needs to know.
Oh ok so I didnít really drown her. I just wish I could... that bitchís Starmie is so fucktacularly overpowered. Well anyway, next time we leave Cerulean and go onboard the S.S. Anne! Until next time... audios!
END OF CHAPTER SUMMARY:
Location: Pewter City
Retries: 5 (Seriously, fuck that Starmie)
Bud the Bulbasaur
Nothing much has changed for Bud, as heís still doing pretty well overall and nothing about him has really changed. He evolves in one more level though, so thatís cool at least. Also, I learned that in Gen I it doesnít get Sleep Powder until level 55 as a Venusaur, so my planned strategy of Leech Seed + Sleep isnít going to be usable until the very end. Oh well, Iíll figure out something else to use in the meantime. Until then, Iím stuck with Growl...
Screentime the Pidgeotto
Guess whoís overleveled again? Well fighting your way through an entire gym by yourself can do that. Of course, his performance against Misty was... less than stellar, but really, Starmie is such an overpowered freak at this point in the game that any Pokemon you can get without a type advantage is kind of screwed. Overall, Screentime is doing OK but not really standing out (though he didnít get used a whole lot due to being overleveled much of the chapter). Iím starting to dread the fight against Lt. Surgeís Pokemon yet to come... and also not being to evolve him. Well, I have a plan for Surge and Iíll just have to suck it up and use a Pidgeotto for way longer than I should have to I suppose. Not much I can do about that one.
Shout the Nidoking
And suddenly BOOM there was a beast. Well, so youíd think but Iíve actually been pretty surprised at how average Shout is doing considering heís a frigginí third stage Pokemon. Well, most of that is likely due to his attacks at the moment, which donít get STAB and have no super-effective coverage. After I get a few TMs that should change. I would teach him Bubblebeam, except that I need that for TheRainbow later on. Thatís OK though, there will be plenty of TMs for him to use later, and I fully expect to see some domination out of this guy.
Random the Gyarados
Honestly, at the moment I donít have much to say about Random since I havenít used him since he evolved yet. Iím glad it didnít take too long to get that done (well, in your guysí time... this chapter encompasses something like 8 hours of gameplay) though, since I expect heíll be quite useful despite his crippling required moveset. There is good news on that front though. It turns out that Gyaradosí Special stat was 100 in Generation I, meaning Surf will actually be more powerful than Strength would have been. And while Bide and Leer might be next to useless, Surf combined with any of a number of Normal Type moves he can learn will give him perfect neutral coverage, thanks to the fact that in Gen 1 Normal is only resisted by Rock. Even with only two good moves I expect him to do some serious damage, so the future is looking bright for this one.
TongueTied the Zubat
Yeah I called him ďTongueTied the WeakĒ earlier on and quite frankly itís an apt description. He has lower defences than even Random had before he evolved and his attack power isnít outstanding either. Once he got Bite he got a easier to use at least, but before then he was just terrible. Iím dreading his evolution, because then he becomes COMPLETELY useless until he either reaches level 32 and learns Wing attack or reaches Lavender town and gets Swift via TM. And I do mean COMPLETELY useless, as in he canít use ANY of his attacks. As such, Iím going to nerf the challange a little bit by making it so he doesnít HAVE to evolve until he either gets Wing Attack or Swift, just so Iím not stuck with completely dead weight for 10 levels. Even after that though, I still expect him to be worthless. The only real reason to use Golbat is for its annoying potential, and the challange deprives me of that option since he needs to be pure attacking. I think I was right when I pinned him as being an LVP when I first accepted him...
Chapter 3: Procrastination
Alright, Iíve stocked back up on potions and Pokeballs, so now itís time to leave Cerulean city via a giant hole in the wall of some guyís house. Unconventional yes, but it works.
Wow the police here are useless; the culprit is directly behind the house, through the enormous hole he left in the wall. If they canít handle that level of criminal competence, then they have some serious competence issues of their own.
Anyway, the grunt gets his ass kicked and gives me TM 28 Dig which the guy who was robbed says I can keep (sweet! I guess doing good does pay sometimes!) since heís just going to use Diglett who use it naturally anyway.
Hmmm I wonder...
*no Shout cannot learn Dig, nor can anyone else on the team*
..... Fuck you. I take back what I said about good paying off.
Anyway, here on Route 5 I can add the final member of the team to my roster! Itís time to catch TheRainbow!
*Catches first Meowth that appears*
Awesome, welcome to the team TheRainbow! I have a TM for you right here!
*Teaches TheRainbow Bubblebeam*
Now to catch you up to the others...
*Grinding on Route 4*
Well Bubblebeam is actually kind of useful, which is cool. Iím thinking though that TheRainbow is going to end up a lot like Big Banks did on Sapphire. Except with worse defences. Yeaaaah....
*He learns Bite and PayDay as he levels up to 20*
Alright there we go, TheRainbow is ready to stretch across the sky! Time to head down to Vermillion City now and get a move on with this adventure!
Holy crap, I found a Full Restore in the Underground Path, this early in the game. Thatíll come in mighty handy at some point Iím sure.
Here on Route 6 we encounter the whispering young couple who get pissed when I ďlisten in on themĒ despite doing nothing of the sort. Seriously, you guys are like 10, what the hell are you whispering about thatís so private?
*Defeats the rest of the trainers on the Route, TongueTied learns Confuse Ray*
Well I wonít be able to use that forever, but it is miles better than goddamn Supersonic at least.
And here we are, Vermillion! And suddenly everything is orange!
*TheRainbow faints from Poison*
First stop is the Pokemon Center!
Guy in the Pokemon Center: ďMy Pokemon was poisoned! It fainted while we were walking!Ē
Heh, funny you should mention that...
Alright, time to look around town.
*Picks up a free Old Rod Iíll never use*
Yeah Iíve already had a Magikarp, thanks.
City Sign: ďVermilion City: The Port of Exquisite SunsetsĒ
Eternal sunsets too, judging by the constant orange hue everything has...
*trades Spearow for Farfetchíd in the name Pokedex data collection. Apparently the name of its owner is ďTrainerĒ. Nice.*
Next up the fan club... why does every fan club leader in every game babble on forever? At least I get the insanely valuable bike voucher for my trouble. Seriously, this guy just hands out shit worth more money than you can physically carry to random strangers. Guess you have to be rich out your ass to be able to sit around babbling all day...
*After quick trip to collect my bike, I head out to route 11 for some training*
I just want to ride my bicycle, I just want to ride my biiiiike. I just want to ride my bicycle, just want to ride my biiiiike!
*Background chorus ďBicycle, bicycle!Ē*
AHEM. Anyway. Route 11, GO!
*first trainer I fight, after being defeated*
Youngster: ďI did my best! I have no regrets!Ē
OH MY GOD ITíS SPREADING!
Wait what? Whatís this?
*Bud is evolving*
And this time I can let you! You were doing just fine before, but Iím not complaining, thatís for certain!
Gamefreak did this wierd thing on this route where there are two gamblers, one thatís never lost and one thatís never won (at what they never specify, but you can assume they mean Pokemon battles). I donít know why I had to mention that, I just did. Itís weird yah know? Yah Iíll shut up now...
Random Engineer: ďSpread the word to save energy!Ē
... well that was a random place to put an Aesop. Seriously, I think someone at Gamefreak was like ďoh shit, we need to say something about conservation, just throw it in somewhereĒ.
*Catches a Drowzee, finishes off the rest of the trainers*
Oh hey, one of Oakís Aides is inside the way station on this route! The Itemfinder? Sweet, yeah Iíll take that!
*Need 3 more Pokemon for it*
... Fuck you. Well I donít really need it when I have Bulbapedia anyway...
Anyway, thatís all for here, time for the S.S. Anne. More battles and experience! This is always one of my favourite parts of the game for some reason. I donít really know why, maybe I just liked the episode that took place on it. Where it sank. Wait, suddenly that doesnít sound so innocent.
Oh, and also remember how it was all the battling that sank the ship in that episode? Apparently they donít give a shit about that here, since over half the people on the ship want to fight. Yup, that sounds perfectly safe.
*TongueTied is evol-*
OH NO YOU DONíT
Oh one thing I just realized. Apparently in Generation I there was no cabin for you to heal yourself, so to heal you had to backtrack all the way to Vermillion. Fun, I know.
Wait, Bud wants to learn Poison Powder again? I guess since I delayed evolving him... well the answer is still the same. Damage + healing > just damage.
Oh I just found TM08 Body Slam! Now this is a good move. The question though is... who learns it? Thereís only one in the game so... TheRainbow eventually gets Slash which it benefits more from thanks to the high crit rate, but not until level 52. Shout could use the extra power, but he gets Thrash soon. Random would like it too. Bud could use the Paralysis support but really doesnít need it the most. Hmmm I think Random. Itís a bit of a crapshoot honestly, but there are other good normal type moves available to find/buy for the others.
There seems to be a disproportionate number of French stereotypes among the crew on this ship... a waiter that starts every sentence with ďLeĒ two snooty French chefs... really, itís kind of offensive.
Hey whatís this? TM 44 Rest? Well well well, it looks like TheRainbow just got another type added to his repertoire! Not that something as frail as him is ever going to use it...
*not much talking, lots of battling*
Oh, and Global Police too, on the trail of Team Rocket. He isnít doing a very good job, needless to say. For all the work I do for you guys you ought to make me an honorary member. Or at least start paying me.
Ah, thereís that Thrash I mentioned earlier for Shout. Yeah, I think thatís more useful than Tackle, so youíre learning it.
Oh, and some guy shows me a Snorlax picture for no reason whatsoever. Uhhhh thanks?
*Gentleman has a lv 23 Pikachu*
.... Fuck. Ok, go kill it Screentime!
*Braces for utter failure, but through some miracle it actually goes alright*
*After hearing two guys talk about HMs in the same cabin*
Ok, seriously is this ship a veiled tutorial for HMs or something? So far Iíve been told about Strength, Surf, and Cut (Cut multiple times). Itís starting to get weird. I bet I hear about Fly and Flash before Iím through here.
*End Edit note: Actually no, strangely enough*
Alright, time for another battle with Blue. Iíve decided that his ďFirst and Second non-starter PokemonĒ means his Pidgeotto and Kadabra, since his Rattacate stops appearing after this fight (yeah yeah, you kill it, youíve all seen the image by now). So thatís what Random is going to be soloing, while Screentime gets his starter. Now then, without further ado, letís get started.
*Random faces off against his insanely fat Pidgeotto*
Damn are all Pidgeotto fat as all hell? Anyway, Body Slam should finish this off quickly.
*It crits for an OHKO*
Nice. Raticate is up next, and Bud needs to level up to catch up with the others so he gets the honour of killing it. Literally killing it.
*Vine Whip 3HKOs*
Yup that is one dead rat (Whaaaaaaaaat?). Now his Kadabra is coming out, ready to be devoured by Random. Here comes another OHKO!
Charmeleon next! Alright Screentime, do what you always do; Quick Attack until the foe falls down and doesnít get back up!
Yeah that was easy. It should be noted he was severely outleveled though, as he always seems to be for me at this part. After taking out the entire SS Anne my Pokemon tend to have a few levels on him.
And thereís the Captain spewing his guts into a garbage can. Lovely. Apparently, itís nothing a vaguely homoerotic backrub canít solve! So anyway, got my HM 01 Cut and now Iím on my merry way. Of course, I do have one itty bitty problem. You see, Bud is the only member of my part thatís able to learn Cut and heís not allowed to have HMs, so yes, Iím going to need an HM slave on a generation 1 game. Ah well, Iíll live.
And there the SS Anne goes! Very, very slowly. Well, guess now itís time to backtrack and cut all the stuff I couldnít before, which means making a perilous trip through Diglettís Cave. And I DO mean perilous; there are level 30 Dugtrio in there nothing on my team has a chance outrunning. At least Arena Trap isnít a thing in Gen I.
*on the way through a Diglett is caught*
Alright, made it through with only one Dugtrio encounter, but that Dugtrio elected to use nothing but Growl thankfully. Shame I accidentally knocked it out instead of catching it...
Anyway, back on Route 2 now! Lets see what there is to be obtain- fuck I forgot to teach a Pokemon Cut.
*Back through Diglettís cave I go*
*Throws Cut on a Bellsprout, heads back to Route 2*
Alright NOW weíll see whatís here. HM 05 Flash and a couple relatively useless items it would seem! Alrighty, I guess Iíll just go and check out the other couple places I can use Cut then.
Letís see... Old Amber, TM 42 Dream Eater and... no wait, thatís it. Well thatís just slightly disappointing, considering the time it took me to do all this. Well now that Iím done wasting my time here, I guess Iíll move on to the next thing on my list.
Thatís right, itís time to explore Rock Tunnel and head for Lavender Town! Huh? Lt. Surge? Oh yeah, that little jerkwad. Well you remember when I said I had a plan for him in Screentimeís comments last chapter? Well that plan is to just completely ignore him until Screentime is a higher level, because you donít actually need to beat him to progress in the story at all until you get to the league. Itís a weird gym like that. The HM it allows you to use is Fly, which I donít need in order to move on, so Iím just going to come back and beat him when Screentime is horrifically overleveled :D. Isnít cheating fun?
So onto Route 9 we go! More trainer battles to be had! Yay! Of course, this route is ridiculously annoying to navigate thanks to an unnecessarily large number of one way ledges. Joy.
*finds TM30 Teleport (which is useless)*
Bug Catcher: ďI have to collect more than bugs to get stronger...Ē
HOLY SHIT ONE OF THEM ACTUALLY GETS IT. I shouldnít have to say anything to express how huge this is.
But just in case you forgot, thereís a more typical member of the class on the route:
Bug Catcher: ďIf you donít like bug Pokemon, you bug me!ĒHH
Notice the contrast?
And why is it that EVERY DAMN HIKER ON THIS ROUTE laughs like a maniac? There were ones in Mt. Moon that didnít do that, so why here? Was there an industrial leak of nitrous oxide somewhere nearby? If so, why the hell does everyone else on the route seem unaffected? Or are they just part of a cult? Itís a cult again isnít it. Itís always a cult.
And now Screentime faints to his first Pikachu, owned by a lass and 4 levels lower than him because it got two critical hits in a row and fully paralyzed him with Thunderwave. Sometimes... I swear...
Anyway, made it to the Pokemon center right in front of Rock Tunnel with the half dozen unexplained cuttable trees outside it (seriously, why?). Just gotta throw Flash on something and Iím ready to head on through.
*And Jimera said, ďLET THERE BE LIGHT!Ē and so there was. (with a teensy bit of help from a Drowzee)*
Perfect! If only darkness worked in Gen 1 the same way it did in Gen III, then I could just use a map and bring everyone in instead of stuffing poor Random in the PC. Oh well...
The Pokemaniacís ARENíT COSPLAYING IN THIS ONE! Suddenly Rock Tunnel feels a lot safer. Though, one does talk about it. Freak.
*Catches a Machop, Onix and Random learns Dragon Rage (temporarily of course... it IS better than Splash*
Hikerís Geodude: *DemonicTrollface*
Oh no you donít
*Self-destruct, TheRainbow faints*
...... fuck you.
Goddamn my team is taking a beating going through here... not much further now...
No, you cannot have my Pokedex, Iím not doing anything to you in the dark, and why wonít you all just leave me alone already dammit D:
*TongueTied is evolving!*
Well I suppose I can let you evolve now, since Swift is available as soon as I get to Lavender Town.
*TongueTied evolved into Golbat!*
Oh. My. God. Suddenly all those restrictions make sense. Also; nightmares. That is all.
And now Route 10 too... more trainers. If my team wasnít so beat up, thatíd be a good thing.
*A few battles later, suddenly everything turns purple and the scariest Pokemon song ever starts playing*
Suddenly I feel the urge to kill myself... o.o
*just kidding :D OR AM I?*
Anyway, time to explore this town!
Guy in Pokecenter: ďCubones wear skulls, right? People will pay a lot for one!Ē
... I donít want to live on this planet anymore.
Little girl: ďDo you believe in ghosts?Ē
Little girl: ďHahahaha, I guess not. That white hand on your shoulder, itís not realĒ
*Jimera has fainted!*
*wakes up 5 hours later, never speaks of incident again*
Thereís a couple people around talking about how Team Rocket killed a Cuboneís mother, and then thereís this one guy who says he thinks all the ghosts in the tower are Pokemon they killed. Shit, thatís a lot of murders... Team Rocket really doesnít fuck around in this generation.
Well anyway, before I do anything else, I have a TM to pick up...
Girl who gives TM: ďMy Pokemonís ashes are stored in the Pokemon Tower. Here, take this TM, I donít need it anymoreĒ
... ok thatís just tragic. Seriously Gamefreak, this is just messed up. This game is for kids! D:
Well I donít really feel like using it now, but lord knows TongueTied needs it...
*TongueTied learned Swift and can now actually attack again!*
Alright I guess Iíll explore Pokemon Tower as far as I can for the experience.
Damn, how do 8 bit music and graphics manage to be so much creepier than the GBAís? Not mention the sheer morbidity of the conversations held in here.
ďI came to p[ray for my Clefairy. Sniff! I canít stop crying...Ē
ďMy Growlithe... Why did you die?Ē
Seriously, Iím starting wonder if kids really did commit suicide, not because of the music (though Iím sure that didnít help) but because of all the sad shit here. This is just depressing.
Oh, Blue... hello. Yea, why donít we fight in this place of respect and mourning just because you feel like it. Bastard.
*Random vs. Pidgeotto*
Yeah this isnít going to last long.
*Body Slam 2HKOs*
Exeggcute next eh? Well Shout should be able to manage this.
Holy shit why is that one egg like 30 feet tall?
*Hypnosis puts Shout to Sleep*
....... damn it.
*Takes a number of weak Barrages before finally waking up*
*Put to sleep again after missing out on the KO*
Oh for the love of...
*wakes up immediately though*
Oh thank lord.
You make me wanna scramble (some eggs)! Alright, Gyarados is up next... who to take it on... Bud, you have a shot. Seed it!
*Bite does more damage than hoped, but still not that much*
Well I had better get on offense then. Vine Whip!
*Vine whip barely nicks it, Gyarados uses Leer*
.... well darn. Tackle then?
*about the same, more leering*
Wait a second, it doesnít learn Leer for another 10 levels! BLUE IS A CHEATER! Anyway, I had better switch out before I take a hit with -2 Defense.
*Screentime takes over, immediately hit with Leer*
Cheating bastard... Quick Attack!
*Quick attack finally brings it into KO range, but Bite does over a third health to Screentime*
Well fudge. Finish it anyway.... damn thing weakened Screentime too much for my liking. He still needs to take on his Charmeleon.
*KO, Kadabra is next*
RANDOM! This one is yours!
*Body Slam OHKOs yet again*
Lolfail. Anyway, now for that Charmeleon... Screentime, itís showtime! Quick attack until it stops moving, as usual!
*Quick attack crits but Ember Burns*
Oh bullshit. Whereís that Full Restore...
*One Full Restore later, Screentime is ready to keep shit rolling. Charmeleon hilariously uses Rage*
And here everyone, we have an imminent fail. Allow me to demonstrate by causing Charmeleon to miss using Sand-attack.
*After a couple tries it works and Charmeloen misses*
Now, Rage is uncontrollable in Gen I, like Outrage or Thrash. Thing is, it lasts until the battle ends or the user faints. Once you miss with it though, your accuracy rolls over to hilariously low numbers and then you canít hit with it at all. So, you are stuck using what has essentially become Splash. Yeah, this is why I did not want anything to do with Rage. And yes, of course I am now going to annoy Blue using Whirlwind (since this is his last Pokemon, itíll always fail) and make him miss a half dozen times before I finish him. Wouldnít you?
*Charmeleon flails around uselessly for 10 turns while Screentime and I laugh at his plight*
I so did not need to use that Full Restore. Alright, put it out of its misery now Screentime.
*Screentime slowly whittles away at its HP until it faints*
Damn, forgot that even though I cured the burn that my attack would still be halved thanks to another of Gen Iís bugs.. Well thanks to Rage, that doesnít matter anyway!
Blue: ďWhat!? You stinker! I took it easy on you too!Ē
Iíll say. Using Rage against something with Sand-Attack is tantamount to suicide.
Wait a second, I just realized that most of my Pokemon only have Normal type attacks and what attacks they have that arenít normal type are 4x resisted by Ghastly and Haunter for the most part. I think Iím going to reconsider my decision to plow through here early... Letís do the northern half of Route 12 instead. Also it will be nice to get away from this infernal music...
My word do fishermen have messed up looking faces. Itís like Geodude bred with a Picasso painting.
Maybe they get like that because the Supersonic using Goldeen and Tentacool they carry drive them crazy? I know theyíre driving ME crazy!
Holy shit, this oneís Goldeen is lv 27. Most of my Pokemon are level 26! Well I guess itís a good thing Iím doing some training now if thatís what Iím up against.
Oh, and TongueTied is actually doing pretty good with Swift. He really appreciates the extra bulk and power his evolution gave him, even if it did deprive him of most of his moves. They kinda sucked anyway though so itís not a huge loss. Also Golbat looks a lot less horrifying from behind
Glad I donít have to look at that... thing you could call a tongue anymore.
Ah, here we are at the Snorlax now. Time to head somewhere else now... Route 8 seems like a good place to head to next. Iíll catch Vulpix there after I wipe out the trainers too (Iíll need to bring out that Bellsprout to Cut again you see).
Lass: ďWhatís a cute, round and fluffy Pokemon?Ē
You use Jigglypuff and/or Clefairy f donít you.
*yup, Clefairy. And it is ALL she talks about.*
Gambler: ďGambling and Pokemon are like eating peanuts! Just canít stop!Ē
That... that is an interesting combination of addictions.
Oh and hereís the line of girls (+ one lucky Super Nerd) waiting to get into Saffron. Iíd make jokes about this, but I completely wore that out in my Leaf Green Scramble.
Lass: ďMeowth is so cute! Meow, meow, meow.Ē
*all Meowth in team*
Obsessed much? But yes, the sprite is cute.
Really damn cute.
*Catches another cute Pokemon, Vulpix*
Alright, now to head through the Underground Tunnel to Celadon!
*Gets a Nugget and an Elixer down there, emerges on Route 7*
Ah, Route 7, the most pointless route in Pokemon history. Itís about 15 tiles long, featuring one patch of grass, no trainers, and no items. Seriously, why does this exist?
Anyway, now itís time for Celadon City! Or it would be if I wasnít a procrastinating asshole, because Iím going to end the chapter right here before it gets any longer. Funny how skipping a gym can do shit like cause an overly long chapter with no easily defined endpoint, eh?
END OF CHAPTER SUMMARY:
Location: Pewter City
Retries: 5 (the reason why my Badge count hasnít gone up... Iím hoping to avoid a repeat.)
Bud the Ivysaur
Bud evolved! Woohoo! I barely even noticed it really. He hasnít changed in effectiveness at all. Leech Seed, despite its smaller effect in generation I, is proving quite useful, though heís really starting to fall behind the curve in attack power. I am anxiously awaiting the addition of Razor Leaf to his repertoire, since then heíll have a much more powerful STAB option to use. Iíll probably replace Tackle with a more useful attack next chapter too, if I can find one. I really am not looking forward to using him in the next few chapters after this though, as Iím not allowed to evolve him until level 37. Thatís going to be a bit painful. Iím just glad that it doesnít evolve at level 36 like Charmeleon does...
Screentime the Pidgeotto
Hey heís not overleveled this time! In fact, heís actually woefully underpowered! Mostly this is due to his weak movepool which tops out at 60BP with STAB. Not exactly a powerhouse, especially combined with his mediocre attack. This wouldnít be so bad if he actually had some bulk, but heís second only to TheRainbow in terms of weakest defences, and beating out a Meowth in that category isnít exactly impressive. Sand-Attack does have some limited utility though. Whirlwind, on the other hand has been completely useless. Ah well, maybe itíll save my life sometime in the future. Or maybe Iíll ditch it as soon as I can. Guess which one is more likely? Still, it did allow me to toy with Blueís Charmeleon, and THAT was pretty damn awesome.
Shout the Nidoking
Shout has shown a lot of improvement now, especially since getting hold of Thrash. Thrash finally gives him some much needed power. Itís extra nice that Thrash can actually last for like 5 turns in generation 1 and doesnít prevent switching after the opponent faints. Itís really damn frustrating that he canít learn Dig though, since he really does need a decent STAB attack. Heíll have to wait until I get Earthquake from Silph Co. for that though... well at least you donít get it from Giovanni in Gen I, unlike in Leaf Green. Now that would be REALLY frustrating. Well, even without a decent STAB heís doing pretty well. Heís not my best Pokemon, but heís far from my worst.
Random the Gyarados
And suddenly, a BEAST! And this time Iím not kidding; Random kicks some serious ass. Boasting the highest Attack on the team by far, as well as the best defences, AND the strongest moves... right now, heís a no-brainer for MVP. Body Slam OHKOs most opponents, and even those it doesnít OHKO are frequently crippled by its side effect of paralysation. Bite lets me finish off weakened opponents, whereas Dragon Rage can 2HKO pretty much anything right now and is useful whenever I fight a Rock type. Bide, of course, sees no use and I donít really miss the move slot at the moment. In fact, when I get Leer (probably next chapter) he probably wonít miss Bite either. Really, all he needs at the moment is Body Slam, Dragon Rage, and his innate awesomeness to dominate all. He was well worth the effort taken to evolve him, and he might well end up my MVP despite his restricted movepool. Heís living proof of the fact that when you get perfect coverage in two moves, you really donít need the other two moves anyway.
TongueTied the Golbat
Leech Life (unusable)
Confuse Ray (unusable)
And suddenly, a horror! And in more ways than one too. Before he evolved he was frail as hell, unreliable and not particularly strong. That being said, he wasnít absolutely terrible... just not up to scratch with the rest of my team. Bite did help him out a lot, so he wasnít THAT horrible to use. But then he evolved, grew the most horrific tongue ever seen, and became completely and utterly useless. For about 20 minutes, because I quickly found Swift and now heís back in business with some actual bulk, even if his attack power isnít much better than before. So where does he stand now? Honestly, I canít really say. Swift does get the job done, but itís hard to compare him fairly to the other teammates when Iíve only had him in this form for a couple routes. Still, as bad as having one non-STAB move is, I still think heís in a better position than poor Screentime. Looks like this horribly mutated bat is going to be getting some slack, at least until Screentime evolves much, much later on.
TheRainbow the Meowth
I knew TheRainbow was going to be a bit of an adventure for me, seeing as I had never used a Meowth before. So far the experience has proven to be a positive one. Though TheRainbow takes hits about as well as wet tissue paper, heís fast and strong enough that it usually doesnít matter that much. Bubblebeam has definitely had some use so far, which is especially pronounced against Rock and Ground types that would give him trouble otherwise. The extra cash from Payday is cool too. Rest, on the other hand, has never been used due to how crippling sleep is in Generation 1, and the aforementioned wet-tissue paper defences. Itís also looking like I couldnítíve gotten a better Pokemon for a mixed set; Persian and Meowth both have only 5 more Base attack than Special, meaning they can use the coverage gained from Bubblebeam (and later Thunderbolt) to their full advantage. There is one catch though: In order to evolve into Persian, TheRainbow needs to learn Thunderbolt... which is only obtainable from Lt. Surge, and as you mightíve noticed Iíve been procrastinating on that fight. The end result is that you can expect a good old double feature next update, since Iím going to want that damn TM Surge is hiding from me. Stay tuned!
Chapter 4: ZOMBIES!
Well hello there everybody! After a short bit of delay due to my participation in the Scramble Awards, Iím finally ready to explore Celadon City! Letís get to it then, shall we?
AHHHH!!! MY EYES! Everything is this weird blue-green shade thatís so bright it BURNS! Iím missing the monochrome images of the Gameboy Pocket now...
Rocket Grunts are hanging around... damn murderers are going to get a taste of their own medicine! Or I would, but Iím limited to just fainting their Pokemon in this game. Laaaame!
Old man: ďPoke Flute awakens Pokemon with a sound that only they can hear!Ē
Wait what? But whenever you play the flute you always hear it! This... this must mean that your character is REALLY A POKEMON! *Dun dun dun*! Or it could mean that the old man is full of shit. Either one.
Oh, wonderful, itís Gamefreakís ingame HQ. Gamefreak employees are like fanfic writers... they just canít resist having self-inserts. Oh, and also shameless fourth wall breaking. And this:
ďI wrote the story! Isnít Erika cute? I like Misty a lot too! Oh, and Sabrina, I like her!Ē
Creepy. As. Fuck.
Anyway, Iím just here to pick up my free Eevee. And by ďfreeĒ I mean stolen. Seriously, itís just sitting on the table and you can just take it. But considering how you tend to steal shit from everywhere anyway (cmon, you think all those TMs on the SS Anne werenít owned by anyone?) it isnít really that special.
Oh and the guy you take it from also breaks the fourth wall constantly. Classy.
And of course, thereís also the department store to check out. Letís see what I can find here...
Oh ho! TMs ahoy! Letís see, what I want to buy... Hmmm Shout NEEDS TM07 Horn Drill and TM 32 Double Team so thatís a given *taught over Leer and Poison Sting*, he can also use Submission for the coverage *taught over Horn Attack*. Take Down is a full upgrade for Tonguetied, Screentime, and Bud. Reflect and Double Team are the only other useful ones members of my team can learn but they all interfere with restrictions or just arenít needed so I guess thatís it. Well this should be a big boost to the team!
Guy behind counter: ďOh hi there, I just finished Pokemon! You can use this now that Iím done!Ē
*hands me TM18 Counter*
.... You broke the fourth wall too. WHY DOES EVERYONE IN THIS TOWN BREAK THE FOURTH WALL? Youíre ruining my immersion!
The next floor has evolutionary stones Iíll never need, and the next floor has Protein and the like, as well as the much desired X-Items! Thanks to limited inventory space, Iím going to leave those and buy them on an ďas neededĒ basis though.
Top floor, Lemonade and random TMs from a thirsty little girl!
*TM 13 Ice beam, TM 48 Rock Slide and TM 49 Tri Attack obtained*
Now letís see who can use these awesome TMs...
*Random and Shout can use Ice Beam, Shout can use Rock Slide and no one can learn Tri Attack*
Dangit, Shout and Random are kind of out of space thanks to their restrictions so I canít even use these TMs right now. Well I might give Ice Beam to Shout when it comes time to fight the Elite Four, but for now these TMs are relegated to the PC...
In the south of town I relieved a man of his Coin Case (and I do mean relieved; he was quitting his gambling addiction!) and encountered this brilliant Team Rocket member:
ďDonít touch the poster at the Game Corner! Thereís no secret switch behind it!Ē
Such incredible (lack of) intelligence is so rarely seen in the real world.
Young Woman in hotel: ďIím on vacation with my brother and boy friend. Celadon is such a pretty city!Ē
Yeah yeah, sure is... wait, ďbrother and boy friendĒ? That... seems a little awkward...
Her boyfriend: ďWhy did she bring her brother?Ē
The world will never know.
Alright, now for the game corner! I wonít be doing any slots here, at least not at the moment, since the only move I could conceivably want from here would be Hyper Beam, and I really donít *need* that yet. So I might as well move onto the main event. Team Rocket, youíre going to end up blasting off again!
Before we storm the hideout though, letís talk to the gamblers and see what they have to say.
Gambler: ďKeep this quiet. Itís rumoured that this place is run by Team Rocket.Ē
Wait what? I thought everyone knew that. I mean theyíre kind of walking all over the city in uniform. Itís not exactly subtle.
Woah, the gym advice guy is here! I had forgotten about that! I guess that wasnít a new thing for Leaf Green. Props to Gamefreak for getting in on the lampshade hanging early.
And at the back that rocket grunt is staring right at the poster on the wall. Could you be any more obvious?
ďIím guarding this poster! Go away, or else!Ē
... I guess so.
*one quick battle and a button press later*
And there the stairs are. Seriously, whatís the point of carefully hiding a secret button to an incredibly well hidden staircase, only to post an insanely visible guard in front of it? Doesnít that defeat the purpose of hiding it in the first place? Then again, maybe whoever is in charge knew that the grunts were all mentally defective, and knew someone would blab about it so a guard was necessary. But then why hide the staircase in the first place? Oh whatever, letís just go end this idiocy.
Grunt: ďWho are you? How did you get in here?Ē
...... well it really wasnít that hard you know.
Oh and the music here is awesome. Just listen to it while you read this. Youíll thank yourself later.
This has to be one of the best pieces 8-bit music has to offer.
Oh ho, the infamous spinning tiles, in all their original glory! When I first played this game these things screwed me over so much... oh how Iíve grown.
Grunt: ďBoss says you can see ghosts with the Silph Scope!Ē
Well thanks for sharing the plot relevant information with me for no particular reason. Seriously, for mass murdering, thieving and cheating fuckwads, you lot sure are helpful sometimes.
And I wonít quote him word for word, but after you beat him proceeds to tell you more useful information about the layout of the base. Seriously, do they WANT me to dismantle their organization or something?
Damn, the tiles move you a lot slower in Gen I than they do in the later generations. This could take a while...
Disembodied voice of exposition: ďNo more room for items!Ē
FUCK! Have I mentioned how much I hate limited bag space before? Because I totally fucking hate it. Iím in the middle of the damn maze and now I need to backtrack to the Pokemon Center so I can actually pick up all the stuff down here... goddamn this shit.
*After storing and selling some stuff*
And the item I couldnít pick up is TM 07! Horn Dri- wait didnít I just buy this? I call BULLSHIT!
Ok, thereís the lift but of course I canít use it yet, so onwards to the rest of the facility.
Rocket Grunt: ďWhy did you come here?Ē
Well I would just say because I like watching you little worms squirm, but he does raise a good point. Why the hell DOES your character decide to infiltrate a base of murdering thugs on his own anyway? Itís never really explained other than ďhey, you can do this! Why donít you do it?Ē And you donít even learn about the Silph Scope until youíre already inside. I mean, there are police in this game (you see Ďem in Celadon and hear about the Global Police on the S.S. Anne) so why donít you go to them or something? Ah whatever, I donít even really give a shit. Itís Gen I Pokemon; the plot is so hardly existent to begin with that plot holes are hardly noticeable anyway.
*TheRainbow is evolving*
*TheRainbow stopped evolving because he isnít colourful enough yet!*
And it turns out that the staircase at the end of the spinner maze is just a dead end, with a couple grunts and a Hyper Potion. Why? I donít know. I guess Gamefreak just likes to fuck with me.
Rocket Grunt: ďGo ahead and go! But, you need the Lift Key to run the elevator!Ē
Well thanks for the help! Why are these guys so bad again? Oh right, murdering Pokemon. Seriously, there is one hell of a dichotomy here.
And more spinner mazes. Joy.
Aha, TM 10 Double Edge! I might end up giving this to Random or someone else later on... itíll get some use on someone Iím sure.
And TM 02 is on the next floor. Itís Razor Wind, though why anyone would want to use a charge up, base 80 normal type attack is beyond me.
Team Rocket Grunt: ďOh no! I dropped the Lift Key!Ē
Ah the classics...
Alright, Iím going to open the path to the elevator from the first floor.
*Door magically opens after the grunt is defeated*
I just donít question this crap anymore.
Alright, time to visit the big boss himself. Say your prayers bastard, because this time Iím not bothering taking you in. You canít escape when youíre a mutilated corpse!
Oh but he has a couple of guards outside his door, which have slightly more powerful Pokemon than the other grunts. Not powerful enough though.
*two trashed grunts later, the door magically opens*
Not questioning it. Here I come Giovanni... I hope youíre ready! TO DIE! BWAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!
*Giovanni sends out an Onix, I lead with TheRainbow*
Oh noes, a normal type against a rock type? Whatever shall I do?
*Bubblebeam to oblivion*
And a Rhyhorn too? Oh I is so scared.
*THE BUBBLES! THEY BURN!*
Ah Khangaskhan next. This is one that TheRainbow really canít handle. Thankfully though, Shout just learned a little surprise for you. Now, bow to the king!
*SUBMISSION! Both of us crit, but both of us survive*
BUT IíM FASTER WAHAHAHA!
*Kangaskhan is forced to kneel in a pool of its own shame piss*
Yeah cut the villain speech and prepare to meet your doom... via bubbles!
*Suddenly lights go out, Silph Scope is on the ground and Giovanni is gone*
BOB SAGET, NOT AGAIN!
.... well I guess I might as well head to the Pokemon Tower now. Or actually... hmmm I think I want to do a couple things first.
First, thereís something on Route 16 that I think my dear Screentime will like very much.
*Claims HM 02 from the hermit living with her Fearow*
Alright, goodbye useless Gust, hello Flying type STAB! But hey, I canít use it outside of battle yet! Well I got a solution for that...
Thatís right, Iím going to take on Surge now! I figure a 5 level advantage over his main Pokemon is enough, and STAB Take Down should give Screentime enough power to do what needs to be done.
*one long trip back to Vermillion later*
Alright, Iím finally here. Now to take out the lackeys... with Random. Because Iím boss like that. Well except for the Pikachu, because Screentime called dibs on those.
*Many OHKOs later*
Alright, now letís see... Switches. This is such an annoying puzzle...
*Completes it in one go*
Wow, I got lucky that time. Usually I miss the second switch like 5 times in a row before I finally get it. Seriously, this is the most asinine puzzle in the entire series. Luck based missions are just annoying.
Alright, so itís time to get down to business!
Lt. Surge: ďHey kid, what do you think youíre doing here?Ē
Coming to kick your sorry ass. With a Pidgeotto. Because I can (and also, requirements).
*Screentime faces off against his... Voltorb?*
Wait what? Since when did he lead with a Voltorb? Well Screentime doesnít have to deal with this, so Iíll send out Shout to keep Screentime in good condition.
*Shout OHKOs the Voltorb after taking only 5 damage on the switch in*
Alright, NOW his Pikachu is coming out. Screentime, hereís your chance for revenge! Take it Down!
*Easy OHKO, itís level 18 afterall*
Ok, so time for the real challenge now... Raichu. Sure I outlevel it by 5 levels but itís got STAB Thundershock, which Iím weak to. This could be rough. Well, letís hope for an OHKO and use Take Down!
*it moves first, brings Screentime to 1HP with a critical thundershock. Screentime then proceeds to KO itself with recoil, leaving Raichu in the red*
OH COME ON! If it hadnít critted I couldíve finished it off with Quick Attack! Ah well, this time I have revives so I donít have to reset... Shout, you hold in there while I heal up Screentime.
*A revive and a Super Potion later Screentime is ready to get back in the fight. Raichu also gets an unnecessary X Speed used on it*
Alright, letís just hope that he doesnít get OHKOíd or something on the switch...
*Tundershock takes out around a third of Screentimeís health on the switch*
Alright thatís good then. Even if it goes for Quick Attack I should be ok. So, Quick Attack Screentime!
*Raichu goes down!*
VICTORY! Though a bit of hax did kind of sort of cause Screentime to faint. Oh, and now heís overleveled. Again. I mean compared to the rest of my team mind you; he was overleveled compared to Surge since the start. I canít imagine how horrible this would have been had I attempted this last chapter...
So, the Thunderbadge and TM- oh nevermind my backpack is full again. -.-
*one annoying trip the Pokemon center later*
Alright NOW I got TM 24 Thunderbolt, which Surge recommends teaching to an electric Pokemon. Just to fuck with him, I teach it to TheRainbow instead, right in front of his face. I DEFY YOU!
So now when TheRainbow levels up again he can evolve! Booyah! Also, Fly! This backtracking was worth it I think. Time to go to Lavender Town! Screentime letís fly!
Alright now, letís see... who do I have who can actually attack Ghost-types? Screentime can use his newly acquired Fly, TheRainbow has a couple moves, and Random has Dragon Rage. Bud can attack but would do pathetic damage, while Shout and TongueTied are completely helpless. Something tells me I could be better prepared for this.
Unfortunately though, I canít actually be better prepared, so Iím going in anyway. I think thereís going to be some level discrepancies by the time I get through this godforsaken place.
Alright, so first letís catch us an Ėoh lord is that a Ghastly?
Itís hardly got any form at all! I know itís supposed to be made of gas and all, but damn did they take that to an extreme with this. Itís just a bunch of gas with eyes and fangs that look like they could be used as daggers. Jeeze, as if this place wasnít scary enough already. Remind me how I didnít shit my pants when playing this as a kid again?
*several battles later*
*TheRainbow is evolving!*
And for real this time!
*TheRainbow evolved into Persian*
And now the critical hits should start rolling in. Oh yes!
*Encounters a Haunter*
Seriously, how did I get trough shit like this?
Channeler: ďYou... shall... join... us...Ē
Channeler: ďGive... me... your... soul...Ē
Oh right, thatís how. Hilarity.
Channeler: ďGive... me... blood...Ē
*Cubone is caught*
Alright, thatís all the wild Pokemon here. I wonder if Iíll be able to get the item from the next Aide yet...
Thank lord they have that purified zone here (which is just a bunch of white squares on the ground btw) because otherwise this tower would be a massive pain in the ass. Ghastly are annoying enough as it is with their parafusion hijinks.
Ah, Marowak mother time. I still find it wierd that you have to fight it... in order calm it down. It doesnít make a lot of sense... unless ďcalmĒ is code for ďknocked out coldĒ.
Alright, Rocket bashing time! Again! Damn bastards. They just love causing trouble for no good reason, but a graveyard? Thatís just tasteless!
Rocket Grunt: ďWhat do you want? Why are you here?Ē
.... again, good question. What impetuous does the story have for directing you here again?
Rocket Grunt: ďThis old guy came and complained about us harming useless Pokemon! Weíre talking it over as adults!Ē
There is just so much wrong with this statement that I have no words to describe it. I swear, Team Rocket is evil just for the sake of being evil.
Well anyway, dealt with them easily and now Mr. Fuji is rescued! Though he claims that he came here of his own free will. I, honestly, am suspicious of this claim due to the implied torture in the last quote. But hey, itís all cool because he takes me straight to his house and hands me the ever useful Poke Flute, replacing my Awakenings forever.
Heh, you know what I just realized? You could totally skip Erika for a while just like Lt. Surge since you donít need Strength until you get to the Seafoam Islands. Iím not going to though, because Iím expecting her to be pretty damn easy... especially since this time thereís no soloing requirements.
One annoying thing about this is that I need Cut to get into the gym and navigate inside it, so I have to store a Pokemon to make room for my cutting Bellsprout. Looks like TheRainbow is sitting this one out.
Iím going to refrain from commenting on the creepy old man, since making jokes there is too easy. Seriously. EVERYONE HAS MADE THAT JOKE. Including me!
Well first things first; LACKEYS! Thereís a surprisingly large number of them in here. I mean Pewter had 1, Celadon 2, Vermillion 3, and then BAM Celadon has 7. Címon Erika, you ruined the pattern!
*First Lass nearly wipes out the 6 levels higher Bud*
ARRRRG WRAP IS SO BROKEN! First, Stun Spore so Iím slower. Then, Wrap, continuously, leaving me completely unable to move. FOR DOZENS OF TURNS. I had to switch out to TongueTied, who immediately had the same done to him. FINALLY though he got a Swift off when Wrap missed and finished it. Good god I hope the rest of the fights turn out better.
*Bud learned Razor Leaf*
Oh thank lord, a STAB move with more than 10 PP and half-ways decent BP. Bud is going to benefit from this greatly.
Oh my word.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR FACE WOMAN? Thatís not beautiful, thatís frigginí DEFORMED!
Jr. Trainer: ďArenít you the peeping tom?Ē
WHAT? Oh hell no, you did NOT just confuse me with the creepy old guy outside.
*smashes into oblivion*
*a few more battles later*
Alright, thatís everyone. Now itís time for Erika herself! Screentime, looks like youíre going to be getting the spotlight once again!
Erika: ďHello. Lovely weather isn't it? It's so pleasant. ...Oh dear... I must have dozed off. Welcome. My name is Erika. I am the Leader of Celadon Gym. I teach the art of flower arranging. My Pokťmon are of the grass-type. Oh, I'm sorry, I had no idea that you wished to challenge me.Ē
... Youíre high arenít you?
Yup, high as a kite.
*I lead with Screentime, she leads with Victreebel*
Letís Fly! Fly away to victory!
*Fly does over 2/3 to Victreebel, and Poisonpowder misses on the turn Screentime is on the ground*
Oh yes. One more time!
*Down it goes*
Yeah this is shaping up to be the easiest gym since Brock. Alright, two more to go! The blue spaghetti ball is next.
*Fly critical hits and Tangela is OHKOíd*
Just like the collection of limp noodles you are! Next up is Vileplume. This should be easy.
Oh god. Itís staring into my soul. MAKE IT STOP SCREENTIME MAKE IT STOP!
OH THANK LORD
Well after that Screentime wanted to learn Wing Attack, but I said no since I need to keep a status move and Take Down and Quick attack have more utility (raw power and raw speed). So yeah, Erika hands me the Rainbowbadge and TM 21 Mega Drain (which will not get used, thanks to TongueTiedís restrictions).
And well I guess thatís it for this chapter! Next chapter, I got two paths to choose from. Which will I take? Find out next time! (Though if you read my Leaf Green Scramble you pretty much already know). Until then, audios!
END OF CHAPTER SUMMARY:
Location: Pewter City
Retries: 5 (Maybe Iíll be able to keep it from getting higher)
Bud the Ivysaur
Bud is really kind of where he was last chapter. Heís still doing alright but not spectacularly well. His bulk isnít remarkable anymore, though Take Down really helped him in the offensive power category. He also got Razor Leaf, though it hasnít seen much use yet. I do expect it to be very, very useful in the future though. His prospects for next chapter are pretty dismal though, seeing as he canít evolve until level 37. Heíll almost certainly fall behind the curve during that time, but after that I expect things to pick up a lot.
Screentime the Pidgeotto
Man, Screentime saw a LOT of action this chapter. He faired predictably poorly during his fight with Lt. Surge, but a lot of that was hax. He absolutely slaughetered Erika though, demonstrating just how useful having a STAB flying attack is going to be from now on. In fact, Screentime has shot up in usefulness a lot recently thanks to the addition of Fly and Take Down. He actually has some attack power now! Of course this increase in usefulness is likely to be relatively short lived. Being stuck as a Pidgeotto until level 49 is not going to help his cause.
Shout the Nidoking
Shout saw almost a complete change in his moveset this chapter, with Thrash being the only move remaining from last chapter. However this honestly hasnít changed his use much; Thrash around until everything is dead. The only real change is the now he isnít useless against Rock types thanks to Submission, and also I do get a bit of a bonus against normal types. Horn Drill and Double Team would sync well together youíd think, but Horn Drill is pretty much useless on him evasion boost or not. In generation 1 its accuracy is based on your speed compared to your opponents, and while Shout isnít sluggish, he isnít fast enough to get lots of kills with that thing. I might use it at some point, but the chances of that arenít particularly high.
Random the Gyarados
Oh Random, how you have surprised me so. I thought your restrictions were going to kill me, and instead you are the most powerful Pokemon in my party by far. Body Slam doesnít OHKO absolutely everything anymore though (just most things), so I may possibly replace it at some point. Dragon Rage proved invaluable in the Pokemon Tower, seeing as it was one of the only moves I could actually use to hit all those damn ghosts. Thereís nothing really much else to say, and little is likely to change in the near future. Random is just ready and roariní to go slaughter him some wimpy Pokemon!
TongueTied the Golbat
Confuse Ray (unusable)
Well, the verdict is in, and TongueTied is actually semi-useful. True he doesnít contribute much to the team aside from a few useful resistances, but he has decent bulk and attack power thanks to his evolution and the addition of Take Down to his moveset. Heís no bruiser or wall, but he gets the job done. Of course though, heís going to barely improve at all as time goes on thanks to his restrictions. Heíll get Wing Attack in a couple levels at least, giving him some STAB. I just donít get why he canít learn Fly in generation I though. I mean, freaking PIDGEY can learn it, but not a giant frigginí bat? What were you on Gamefreak?
TheRainbow the Persian
And finally heís evolved! And goddamn, just look at those claws. Well he wonít be using those any time soon since Slash is a long way off... but in the meantime, Thunderbolt has certainly proven useful. It is my only Electric Type attack after all, and really helped against those Ghost types in the Pokemon tower. Bubblebeam also showed its power against Giovanni. Without it those Rock types wouldíve demolished him. Honestly though, I donít know how powerful TheRainbow really is yet, since I havenít actually used him since he evolved. I guess Iíll just have to wait and find out next chapter now wonít I?
Chapter 5: Inconsequential
Alright, so now whatís next? Letís see, I can go to Saffron City or Fuchsia City, and if I go to Fuchsia City I got two routes to choose from. I think Iíll do Fuchsia first, since I very much doubt Iíll be ready to fight Blue once I get to him in Silph Co. if I go there now. Besides, I think it might actually still be blocked off...
Well anyway, I guess Iíll go down Bicycle Road first. Of course, thereís a big fatty in my way... I think Iíll just have to catch him!
I CAN HEAR IT IíM A POKEMON AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I mean, see? That old guy was full of shit.
Anyway, Snorlax attacked me because apparently he isnít a morning person. So now I must catch him! Man this is going to be rough without any sleep inducers...
*It uses Rest first turn*
Ooooo boy. This is going to be uber rough.
*it does this 3 times more while TheRainbow futilely bites away at him*
Oh cmon, I need a crit!
*finally gets a crit, brings it into mid yellow*
Whatever, close enough. Sure itíll never work, seeing as it just woke up, but whatever.
*It works first shot*
WELP Iím just going to go eat my own words now, Iíll be back in a few.
Anyway... *catches a Doduo here*
Alright, now letís fight a jillion and a half bikers!
Holy shit, are these people or sea urchins planted on manikins riding motorcycles? That is the spikiest head Iíve ever seen!
And this Cue ball!
Letís ignore the derpy expression for a second and focus on that codpiece. Seriously, just look at that thing. And the shoulder pads. AND THE WHIP! Did this guy just step out of some S&M version of Mad Max or something?
Holy geeze, these guys have high level Pokemon too. I mean the Weezing this one guy has is level 33! None of my team is above level 31! Iím starting to question this choice of route... I know from looking at Bulbapedia that the Pokemon in Silph Co. are weaker.
Well whatever, a challenge is nice and I do have Fly so I can just head back whenever I need healing. Letís go wipe out some more Cue Balls and Bikers!
Oh and also, I catch a Raticate because I happened to bump into one while looking for items.
Whatís this? TongueTied wants to learn Wing Attack? HELLS YEAH!
That Machoke clearly has severe brain damage, whatís it doing fighting? You horrible swine Cue Ball, making this poor thing fight!
And is it just me, or is this Primape just a collection of random sketch marks with a face, nose and limbs?
That or it just came out worse in a fight with an angry cat, which is ironic since it just did come out worse in a fight with an angry cat (TheRaibow go!)
Oh and Bud wants to evolve!
Oh, never mind, he was just trolling me.
Cue ball: ďMy Pokemon wonít evolve! Why?Ē
Yeah tell me about it. Asshole Pokemon, the-
*sends out a Machoke*
Nevermind, yours is a different reason having less to do with jerkassness and more to do with the lack of a link cable.
Ah Random wishes to learn Leer... and I canít stop him. CURSE YOU RNG GODS, CURSE YOU!
*Random gets lock-jaw upon learning leer, disabling his Bite forever*
And suddenly here we are, at the end of cycling road, route 18. Nothing here but some Bird Keepers and some guy that wants to trade a Slowbro for a Lickitung. Yeah, this route is kind of pointless.
Bird keeper: ďThis is my turf! Get out!Ē
Errr what about the two other guys here? Do they not count?
Well anyways, here we are Fuchs-
WOAH HOLY SHIT WHY IS EVERYTHING BUBBLEGUM PINK ALL OF A SUDDEN?
Errr alright then, I guess weíll explore this city that apparently had the largest bubblegum bubble ever conceived burst on it.
Oh damn, Billís grandfather lives here!
Billís Grandfather: ďHe always liked collecting things even as a child!Ē
Things like PEOPLE?! TELL ME OLD MAN I MUST SAVE THE WORLD FROM HIM!
Billís Grandfather: ď...Ē
Ok the world is doomed, hope youíre happy with that.
Safari Zone Warden: ďHif fuff hefifoo! Ha lof ha feef ee hafahi ho. Heff he fwee!Ē
Well now I know whose bubblegum it was that coated this city... you might want to kick that habbit bub.
Ah, a Good Rod you say Mr. Fishing guruís older brother? Sure, Iíll take your free shit!
*immediately catches a Poliwag and Goldeen*
Oh, and apparently half of the entire town is a zoo, which is awesome. I wish half my city was a zoo. Actually, on second thought, I take that back. The stench would be horrendous.
Lapras Sign: ďName: Lapras. A.K.A. the king of the seas.Ē
I canít be the only one who think that Lapras looks way, way more like the queen of the seas can I?
Tell me that doesnít look feminine to you.
Well thatís enough here... time for the Safari Zone! Iíll catch everything I can in here too because I think I need 50 species for the Exp. All, and Iím currently only at 42. The Exp. All will be pretty awesome, allowing me to train the whole team equally without having to use them individually. Iíll be able to use whichever Pokemon fits the situation best instead of whichever one needs training for once!
Alright, so letís see whatís in he-
*evolution music starts playing as soon as I step in*
... Evolution music? They used the evolution music for the Safari Zone? The fuck is this laziness Gamefreak? The fuck?
Anyway, ITEM COLLECTION AND POKEMON CATCHING MONTAGE GO!
Also, some conversations along the way...
Random Mohawk guy: ďI caught a Chansey! That makes this all worthwhile!Ē
You lucky bastard you... wait, why does a motherfucker with a Mohawk want a Chansey anyway?
*encounters a Parasect*
Holy shit fuck, that thing looks evil, if oddly crippled by its strange lack of legs and bizarre swelling on its mushroom. I think itís sick.
Scientist looking guy: ďTossing rocks at Pokemon might make them run, but theyíll be easier to catch.Ē
Yeah, why is that exactly? At least the bait makes sense, the rocks just confuse me. Is it implying that youíre actually hurting them and bringing their HP down or something? Honestly, to me it just seems more likely to ensure you become a Rhyhornís supper than anything else...
*halfway through the safari Zone on my 3rd trip though*
Disembodied voice of exposition: ďNo more room for Items!Ē
*encounters a Chansey while running out the clock so I can store items*
OOOOO coolness! Not like Iíll ever catch it bu-
*catches it on first toss*
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I guess one turn of bad luck must be made up for with one of good! Well this time at least anyway.
Sign: ďRequest notice: Please find the Safari Wardenís lost Gold Teeth, Theyíre around here somewhereĒ
*theyíre less than a dozen steps below the sign*
... Really? You couldnít walk down a dozen more steps and see them, laying there in playing sight? The incompetence... itís... wow. Just wow.
Well anyway, I think Iíve gotten everything here now. Hereís the haul if youíre interested:
*TM 37 Egg Bomb (useless), TM 40 Skull Bash (also useless), the Gold Teeth, TM 32 Double Team (donít I already have that?) and of course HM 03 Surf*
*Venonat, Parasect, Exeggcute, Ryhorn (after many attempts, damn running bastard), CHANSEY (fuck yeah!), and a Nidorina*
Alright, I guess Iíll give the Warden back his teeth now. Apparently it was the lack of teeth and not an extra large wad of bubblegum that made him unintelligible. The mystery of the bubblegum city remains unsolved it would seem...
So anyway, Shout gets Strength over Thrash, not really because I think itís better than Thrash but because only Random can learn it otherwise, and heís not allowed to learn it, whereas Shout has only two spaces open for meddling with and I canít really afford to get rid of the coverage offered by Submission. Just to take out my frustrations, I immediately use it to steal a Rare Candy from the Warden. Take that world!
Anyway, now I get to go through routes 15-12. Unfortunately, parts of these routes require Cut to access... so I have to haul that damn Bellsprout along. At least I think after this you donít need cut anymore...
*After several battles*
Aw cmon people, say something interesting... I have nothing to make fun of D:
Biker: ďFork over all your cash when you lose to me, kid!Ē
Ah finally some excitement. I get to beat up some low brow robbers! Wooo!
After defeat: ďI was just joking about the money!Ē
... I shouldíve known. There isnít anything interesting on this route at all is there :(
Wait whatís this?
OH GOD! That face... those eyes... GET IT AWAY FROM ME AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just want to forget this route now.
Oh this is just rich. You know what was on that road beyond the cuttable tree? An annoying trainer with a Minimize spamming Clefairy and TM 20... which contains RAGE. I swear, this is the worst troll of Gamefreakís ever.
Biker: ďCmon letís go letís go letís go!Ē
O.o what are you on?
ďWhat, what, What? What do you want?Ē
Jeeze man, you need to lay off the speed.
Man there are a lot of Bird trainers and Bikers around here. Kind of an odd combination really... I guess they both like the wide open spaces?
And they all have evolved Pokemon too. Up until now I didnít really consider these challanges nearly as hard as I had intended, but now the difficulty is definitely beginning to pick up.
Oh and here we are at the random-ass fence maze. Why is there a random fence maze? Who the hell knows, maybe aliens did it. I dare you to come up with a more coherent explanation. Címon, really, I dare yah.
Jr. Trainer (female): ďYou got those badges from gym leaders. I know!Ē
... oh wow, and I thought the mentally disabled in this game were limited to the Pokemon and Team Rocket grunts.
Another female Jr. Trainer: ďIím told Iím good for a kid!Ē
*has 5 unevolved, early game, lv 24 pokemon*
Well Iím sorry, but whoever told you that was patronizing you. Really, I am sorry.
Oh hey an item! Letís jus- fuck. I need Cut to get it and I put Bellsprout back ages ago... well Iím really close to the Route 11 entrance now so I might as well go to Vermillion instead of all the way back to Fuchsia. This means I have another Snorlax to deal with, but this time catching it isnít on the itinerary...
*Random quickly dispatches of the Snorlax and fires the body out to sea with a mighty Surf*
Cya never again yah great flabby roadblock!
Oh, now itís the fish Guruís YOUNGER brother, who also seems to exist for the sole purpose of handing out fishing rods to people. So yeah, I get a free Super Rod. Thatíll prove useful for getting those last two entries I need to get the Exp. All...
Fisherman: ďYou never know what youíll catch!Ē
Yeah, like AIDS or syphilis! Oh you were talking about fishing
and not promiscuous unprotected sex. Sorry, my bad.
And thatís it for here then eh? Well I guess whatís next up is Silph Co. where Iíll finally get to take out Team Rocket, once and for all (until the next games come out anyway)! Letís get it on!
NEXT CHAPTER! *evil grin!* Yes Iím doing the same thing I did with Leaf Green... Iím going to do Silph Co, Sabrina and Koga all in one jam packed chapter! Packed full of lovely, lovely jam. Raspberry! Mmmmm.... until then though, audios!
END OF CHAPTER SUMMARY:
Location: Pewter City
Retries: 5 (If I had had one in THIS chapter, thatíd be REALLY embarrassing.)
Bud the Ivysaur
Damn, does Razor Leaf ever make a difference. This isnít just because itís a decent grass type STAB for Bud, oh no, what really puts it over the top is that increased critical hit ratio. I swear, he crits more with Razor Leaf than he doesnít and heís not even that fast! Of course it should be pointed out that increased critical hit ratio moves practically quadrupled the chance of a critical in generation I, so itís not that unexpected. In any case, it makes him far more potent than he was before simply because he has so much more offensive power. And when I feel like it, I can still totally go with Leech Seed and Growl to slowly wear an opponent down. And he evolves in two levels too! Suffice to say, Bud has taken a level in badass since last chapter.
Screentime the Pidgeotto
Oh Screentime, I donít know how I forgot how weak Pidgeotto was. Even with some decent attacks now, Screentime is still the hardest of my Pokemon to train. Yes, even more than TongueTied because at least he has some bulk. Screentime has both the lowest offenses and defences on my team now, so that should pretty much sum it up right there. At least Fly proves really useful, in and out of battle. But even that isnít strong enough to OHKO most evolved Grass types. And he still has another 14 levels to go before evolving! Well I asked for a challenge, and man did I get one. I have no idea how heís going to take on Blueís Charizard next chapter... Iíll figure something out I suppose. Hyper Beam maybe?
Shout the Nidoking
Shout is still trucking along, doing decent as always. He did get a bit of a downgrade this chapter in Strength. Thrash has a little bit more power to it and uses up way, way less PP due to its uncontrollable nature, whereas usually everying is dead before the confusion sets in anyway. Really itís the PP thatís the issue, not the BP. Heís more than good enough to take most things down with Strength; the real issue is that it takes more than one hit to take pretty much anything down, and that means he burns through the 15 PP Strength has pretty damn quickly. Thankfully thereís a certain, very powerful TM waiting for him in Silph Co. that should allow him shoot through the rankings with ease. Earthquake, Shout is awaiting your power!
Random the Gyarados
Well Random finally has his moveset completed, and let me tell you, he has gained a lot more from doing that than heís lost. Losing Bite and Dragon Rage is nothing compared to the sheer fury that is Surf. A STAB 95 BP move coming off the highest Special Stat of any of my pokemon? You can bet it wrecks shit up! I donít think Iíve seen anything take more than two hits from Random since he got it, and I donít expect that to change much in the future. Damn, and I thought I had pulled the short end of the stick with the moves I RNGíd for him. Turns out that all he needs are two moves to dominate, and Surf was the only one I needed to RNG!
TongueTied the Golbat
Confuse Ray (unusable)
Ah TongueTied, the most inconsequential member of my team. I already have a Flying type, with a better Flying Type STAB and several Poison Types for defensive reasons. TongueTied brings nothing else to the team, and has power on par with Screentime due to his lack of a decent STAB (Wing Attack is 35BP in gen I remember, meaning itís actually weaker than Swift even with STAB). Still, in battle he manages to come out ahead of Screentime because of one little factor; he actually has bulk and half ways decent defensive typing. He can actually take a few hits, meaning Take Down recoil doesnít utterly destroy him. Still, if I were to suddenly lose him completely for some reason, Iíd never notice the loss. Poor bugger is starting to shape up to be like Wotter from Sapphire... not a horrible Pokemon, but just doesnít add anything to the team.
TheRainbow the Persian
So now Iíve actually gotten a taste of what Persian is like, and I have to say itís an awful lot like an upgraded version of Meowth. A few more crits, a bit more power, a bit more bulk and thatís really all there is to say. Ironically, as already mentioned, he actually crits less than Bud does with Razor Leaf, but he still comes a close second in that regard. However it still isnít often enough I can exactly rely on it. What I can rely on though is the welcome coverage his moveset offers me. In a team with so little variance in attacking types, Thunderbolt is particularly welcome. What TheRainbow really needs to shine though is Slash. Unfortunately though, that isnít going to happen until level 51, which is a long ways off yet. In the meantime I expect heíll still be useful, if not exactly a standout. Maybe if I got him something better than Bite to use...
Chapter 6: The Action Sack
Alright Saffron City, here we come!
Security guard: ďIím on guard duty. Gee, Iím thirsty, though!Ē
Well here you go, some delicious... wait, where is that damn tea?
*pats down bag, starts chucking things everywhere*
FUCK! Either I forgot to get it or itís in my PC. Thank lord Celadon is right here...
Yup, not in my PC box... how did I miss getting the tea?
... Strange the place to get it isnít in the Celadon mansion like in Leaf Green... I... actually donít know where to find it.
..... Apparently, you actually donít use Tea in generation I. You use fresh water, lemonade and the like. Damn, I had totally forgotten. It has been like a decade since I made it this far in a generation one game after all...
*One drink shopping spree later*
Alright Mr. Guard, take a drink and let me through already.
... damn, I havenít seen so much glubbing and gulping since I watched that Snorlax drown. This guy has to be the noisiest drinker in existence. Also, somehow after all that gulping and glubbing, he still has enough left over to share it with the other 3 gate guards. Geeze man, my Pidgeotto can guzzle one of those down and still be thirsty, how the hell is it slaking the thirst of four men all of a sudden?
And suddenly everything is a greenish-yellow that reminds me of vomit. Thanks Saffron City, I really wanted that image in my head.
Team Rocket member: ďWith Silph under control, we can exploit Pokemon around the world!Ē
Wait what? How does that work? Is Silph some sort of mega-company that owns the entire Pokemon world or something? Because last I checked, controlling the headquarters of one company by force didnít give you global domination, it gave you a single building filled with angry people.
Ah, and hereís Mr. Psychic, who of course gives away Psychic. I donít think any of my team can learn it though...
Oh, and you know the rocket grunt thatís supposed to be guarding the entrance of Silph Co.? Apparently he fell asleep... and also over, since heís no longer in front of the door. And yet, heís still turning around constantly... kinda creepy that.
Rocket Grunt: ďBeing evil makes me feel so alive!Ē
.... well I guess I was right when I said that Team Rocket was just being evil for the sake of being evil. I thought I was joking though...
And of course Sabrinaís gym is blocked off. Why doesnít SHE do something about this lot of hooligans? I highly doubt any of these ragamuffins could stand up to her... Unless sheís involved!
*DUN DUN DUN!*
Aaaaaaaanyway, before we enter Silph Co. thereís something else here I had totally forgotten about... the dojo! I might as well go in there and take care of it first.
Blackbelt: ďHooah! Youíre trespassing in our fighting dojo!Ē
... Then why did you leave the door wide open?
*Random promptly smashes him*
Wait, a lv 36 Primape? Holy shit, wheníd these guys get such high level Pokemon? Oh whatever, Iíll still demolish them. 4 members of my team resist fighting and one of the others hits them super effectively, so Iím not that worried.
Just for giggles I made them all line up in a single row when I battled them, so now they look like those doofuses outside of Saffron City gate. Thatís right guys, single file!
Alright dojo leader, letís do the kung-fu fighting! Or rather, you do that while Random smashes your ass.
*itís over quickly*
So yeah, you donít have a badge so I get a Pokemon instead! But I need to make party space to get it. Goddamn you first generation, why canít you just transport it to my PC like in future generations?
So which one do I take? I donít even freaking care!
*Picks at random, gets Hitmonlee*
So there we go, another Pokedex entry and now itís time for Silph Co.! As soon as I get my whole team together again anyway...
*Another trip to the PC later*
Alright, NOW Iím finally ready for Silph Co.! Cue Mission Impossible theme!
Aw yeah, now Iím REALLY ready!
Alright, Iím going to do what I did in Leaf Green so I donít get lost. Work my way through all the areas I can get to without using teleporters first, then get the Card Key and work through all the areas I can access using that without using teleporters, THEN I fuck around with the teleporters and get hopelessly lost. Foolproof!
Scientist, after defeat: ďCan you solve the maze in here?Ē
Of course I can I mean- hey wait a second, Silph Co. made this place to be INTENTIONALLY maze-like? Er... why? Were they expecting an attack or something? Well fat lot of good that did them...
Rocket Grunt after defeat: ďA hint? You can open doors with a Card Key!Ē
Wait what? What kind of evil organizationís grunts gives their enemies HINTS when theyíre defeated? I mean on purpose too this time, not due to unbelievable stupidity. Iím starting to wonder if itís not some sort of bizarre policy or something. Iím trying to think of a reason why you might have such a policy, but honestly... I couldnít come up with one. There just is no explanation for this.
Oh, and hereís the random juggler
Woah, holy shit he looks about 20 times more sinister in Generation 1. Suddenly he doesnít seem quite so out of place.
And... oh god, that Mr. Mime
Tell me that doesnít look like the freakiest clown youíve ever seen. I swear those shadows are really grease stains from the fried children he ate for lunch.
Rocket Grunt: ďShow Team Rocket a bit of respect!Ē
Show respect to the murdering fucktards that do more to harm their own organization than they do to help it? No, I think Iíll pass on that, thanks.
*Screentime is evolving*
:D yes, maybe he wonít be useless.
*Oh, no wait, heís just trolling you too. He actually doesnít evolve for 13 more levels*
Well anyway, Iíve decided that I actually know how to get the card key here so rather than trek through the whole place twice Iím just going to grab it, explore all the places I couldnít reach on the floors Iíve already done, then do the upper floors all at once. Save some time, avoid teleporters for longer. Maybe I wonít go insane.
*Does the little enter the teleporter twice trick, gets the Card Key and begins backtracking*
Backtracking! Everyoneís favourite part of every game ever!
Oh cool, this Silph employee cowering in a corner gave me TM36 because she thought I was Team Rocket for a second. Not sure I follow that logic, but thanks.
.... Suddenly Iím wondering if she wasnít trying to send me a message with that.
*in the middle of exploring*
Disembodied voice of exposition: ďno more room for items!Ē
OH FOR FUCKS SAKES WHY DID THEY DO THIS WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!
AHEM ok errr... Iíll brb.
*Crazy pill and item storing break*
*Later on, Bud is evolving!*
Yeah yeah, stupid troll.
*For real this time!*
*Heís actually doing it*
Iíll believe it when I se-
*Bud evolved into Venusaur!*
:O YES!!!!!!! :D Now only if Screentime would do that...
Hmmm TM09? Now whatís this again...
*Itís Take Down, which the entire damn team already knows*
Except for... well I did say I wanted to give TheRainbow something better than Bite.
*TheRainbow learned Take Down!*
Team Rocket grunt: ďI am one of the 4 Rocket Brothers!*
.... Oh not you lot again. Seriously, youíre just like all the other grunts, why do you 4 get a special title?
Rocket Grunt: ďYou dare betray team rocket?Ē
... betray? Ok Iíve already been over this, but that really deserves another mention. I donít think that word means what you think it means mister.
Oh TheRainbow wants to learn Fury Swipes? Uh no, I think that just about anything is superior to Fury Swipes. Thanks but no thanks.
Oh and whatís this? TM03? It contains... Swords Dance! Ohoho, I wonder if anyone can learn this? Letís see, Bud can! And he can probably make use of it!
Right... only one TM move and he already has Take Down, and without Take Down Swords Dance is useless. Well fudge muffins.
Oh boy, I can see Blue in the next room over... I canít get to him yet of course but I am seriously dreading that fight because Screentime needs to take on his lv 40 Charizard... and I have no freakiní clue how thatís going to work.
And why do all the scientists expect that Iíll mistake them for Silph Co. workers? Itís pretty obvious that theyíre not you know... thereís like one person in the entire building with the same overworld sprite as them that ISNíT with Rocket. Usually itís safe to assume that Iíll end up fighting them when I see them.
There are an awful lot of beds here... I thought this was an office tower. Since when did office towers have massive sleeping areas?
Speaking of which, thereís one you can actually sleep at, and somehow you sleeping restores your Pokemon to full health! The magic of sleep ladies and gentlemen, making your games easier since the dawn of RPGs!
Still going up and up and... is this what I think it is?
*You found TM 26 Earthquake*
FUCK YEAH! Shout is about to get a serious upgrade!
*Submission is forgotten in favour of Earthquake*
Oh. Hell. Yes.
*A few minutes later*
Well... that would seem to be everything then, except for the final bite with Blue. Oh boy, this is going to be rough. Well the last part of it anyway... poor Screentime is going to get wrecked again.
And yes, as I already stated during Leaf Green, he was totally waiting, in this tower full of Rocket Grunts, JUST TO FIGHT ME. Thereís a level of obsession there that is somehow both simultaneously flattering and creepy.
*He leads with Pidgeot, I lead with... Shout*
You know, maybe this wasnít the best lead. TheRainbow, come on out!
*It luckily uses Whirlwind, which fails*
Woo! Free switch in! Alright now, time for things to get shocking!
*2HKOs with ease*
So Exeggcute is up next eh? Screentime, take care of it! Fly up and away!
*2HKO but Screentime gets poisoned*
I probably should have used TongueTied there... oh well, itís not that big a deal right?
*It uses Relect while Iím in the air*
*It still KOs, Gyarados is next*
A Gyarados? Whatever shall I do!
*Thunderbolt from TheRainbow is an OHKO*
Alakazam? This is one of Randomís Solo- oh wait I was totally supposed to kill Pidgeot with him. Oh whatever, it wouldnítíve been much different anyway.
*Body Slam amazingly doesnít OHKO, but Alakazamís Confusion barely scratched Random anyway*
Ok, once again!
*Alakazam uses Recover pointlessly and is KOíd*
And here it comes... Charizard. Good god I really donít know how Screentime is going to do this. Well, here goes nothing! Take it Down! (I hope).
*it Leers while Screentime crits with Take Down... leaving it with a good 40% of its health*
Bullocks. Well again I suppose.
*It uses Slash, which crits, bringing Screentime down to 16 hp*
Ah fuck, Take Down recoil and poison are going to kill Screentime before he can finish it...
*Take Down crits again*
.... FUCK YEAH! All hail the RNG gods! And I donít even take Poison damage thanks to the way it works in Gen 1, so Screentime lives with 4HP left! Eat that sucker! You just lost your Charizard to a POISONED PIDGEOTTO THAT WAS 2 LEVELS LOWER THAN YOU.
Alright so before I move on I had better heal again. Iíd pick up my Lapras prize but I need a slot open for that... Iíll just get it later.
So then, Giovanni is up next! Or so I thought, but it turns out thereís one more Grunt to deal with... joy.
*he is promptly annihilated*
Alright, NOW we can take on Giovanni. He wonít get away this time!
*He leads with a Nidorino*
Hmmm I wonder what I can do here?
*Shout OHKOs with Earthquake*
You make me wanna SHAKE THE GROUND!
*Kangaskhan is next*
No fighting moves this time, but I think Shout can handle this. SHAKE THAT GROUND! SHAKE IT SHAKE IT!
You make me wanna DANCE AROUND! Anyway, Rhyhorn next, Bud has got this.
*This is the first time Bud has been in battle since evolution*
Iím sorry, but is that supposed to be Bud or a garden salad? Ah whatever. Garden salad, use Razor Lettuce!
*Critical hit! Itís super effective! Enemy Rhyhorn fainted!*
O-o-o-verkill! Nidoqueen next eh? Well Bud canít hit that super effectively... but Random can! Itís time to hang 10!
*Surf leaves it in the red, leaving me astounded it didnít faint. The fact itís level 41 though might have something to do with it*
Damn, thatís some bulk. And... he uses a Guard Spec. on it. Yeah, thatís going to help.
*a second Surf finishes it off*
And thatís it! Alright Random time to go in for the kill! Body Sl-
*lights go out, Giovanni vanishes and Random slams into the floor*
........ ok Iím calling bullshit on that.
President: ďBecause Iím rich I can give you anything!Ē
Oh yes yes yes please give me every TM ever and a jillion rare candies and-
President: ďHere, this should doĒ
*gives me the Master Ball*
... alright, or that. I suppose itís better than a swift kick in the rear.
Alright, hey Lapras guy!
*talks to him just to see*
God I hate how I have to com-
*Jimera recieved Lapras!*
........ well glad I didnít go to the effort of opening up a party slot. I bet I couldíve just done that with Eevee and Hitmonlee too...
*While at PC storing items*
Alright, thatís everything except for the Card Key, in you g-
Disembodied voice of exposition: ďNo room left to store items.Ē
REEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGG GG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!
*happy pills break!*
Ahhhhhh much better... now letís see... Sabrina or Koga first? Actually I have a better idea... Iíll fight all the trainers in both their gyms before I take EITHER of them on. Since Iím in Saffron already, Iíll do that gym first. I really do need the levels... both of them have lv 43 GLMPs whereas my team is almost all level 38 right now...
Wait a second.
Why is that psychic wearing an extremely long lab coat? Without any pants by the looks of it too? And what appear to be... sandals? The hell?
*A strange number of ghost types later*
Really, itís a Psychic type gym, why are there so many Channelers here with Ghastly and Haunter? Hypnos would make more sense. Anyway, got them all without much effort, but only got a few levels for my trouble... well I guess Kogaís gym is up next. Screentime, letís Fly!
So, Sabrinaís gym has the teleporter maze of annoyance, and Koga has the invisible walls of annoyance. I swear, both these people are just dicks for the sake of being dicks. No wonder the manga turned them into villains.
Bahaha, I like how the gym guru guy in here just talks about the walls and doesnít even mention Kogaís battling style. Itís like theyíre telling you flat out the gym layout is more frustrating than the battle.
Speaking of which, as soon as I clear this out I think Iíll go straight to fighting Koga, since Shoutís Earthquake should make short work of him.
Oh, hey, now I know why there were no Hypno or Drowzee in Saffron gym! They all turn a wrong turn at Celadon and ended up at Kogaís gym instead! But seriously, this place has just as many Psychic types as Poison types, if not more. What the hell is up with that?
Oh, and everyone here is a Naruto clone that wants to be a ninja, but theyíre all jugglers and tamers, which donít exactly scream ďninjaĒ to me.
Btw tamers have whips too, like every other damn trainer class in this game. Seriously, whoever made their sprites mustíve had a serious whip fetish or something. At least it makes some sense with the tamers...
Tamer: ďNinjas have a history of using animals!Ē
Uhhhhh no. No they donít. Seriously, everything ninja movies have taught you about ninjas is bullshit. No animals. Youíre just a stupid Naruto fan, go away.
Oh, he also has the first poison type Iíve seen in the gym (an Arbok) after fighting 3 other trainers. Poison gym you say? Looks more like a Psychic gym to me...
Juggler after defeat: ďMy balls dropped!Ē
.... pffffft haw hahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHA! Seriously? For real? How did that slip past the censors? My god, thatís just priceless! You couldíve said ďI dropped my ballsĒ or ďmy balls fellĒ but no, you just had to go for the low blow. I love you forever now Gamefreak. Forever and ever!
Anyway, I finished off all the trainers, so now itís time for Shout to obliterate Koga! But first...
*shoves 3 PP Ups down Shouts throat*
10 PP just isnít enough for a main attack yah know.
Alright Koga, letís see your ďtrue despairĒ. And I do mean YOUR true despair, because I wonít be the one crying after this.
*Shout leads against his Koffing*
And a one! And a two! And a 1 2 3 4!
You make me wanna pound!
*Muk comes out, 2HKOíd by Earthquake while barely scratching Shout with Sludge*
You make me wanna pound that ground!
*Second Koffing comes out, is promptly OHKOíd*
You make me wanna do the ground pound!
*Weezing comes out, is... OHKOíd(!!!) by a critical Earthquake*
You make me wanna do that ground pound all night looooooooooooong!
Well that was one of the easiest gym leader fights Iíve ever had, certainly a long shot from Ballís solo in Leaf Green. Thank lord for the lack of Levitate in generation 1!
So he hands me TM 06 Toxic and the Soul Badge, which I take with pride. So, just who is going to get Toxic you ask? Well TongueTied canít use it due to restrictions, Shout, Bud and Random have no room due to restrictions, so that leaves me with TheRainbow and Screentime. Screentime will just have to forget it to learn Mirror Move to evolve, so TheRainbow is getting it. Why is it so important someone learn Toxic? Well thatís a little thing I want to show you guys later...
*TheRainbow learns Toxic instead of Rest*
But thatís neither here nor now. No, right now I have to deal with Sabrina. This is one battle that has me worried, what with her being Sabrina and all. I got a couple plans though, so I think I should be able to pull through...
*A bit of teleporting later*
Alright, so here we are... time for you to step off your high horse Sabrina, and face the bitter taste of defeat!
WHY DOES SHE HAVE A WHIP TOO????
*She leads with Kadabra, I lead with... Screentime?*
Yeah, I figure that if Screentime takes heavy damage early on in the fight itís no loss, soooo thatís why Iím using him to take on her weaker Pokemon. So yeah, Take Down!
*Psychic almost OHKOs Screentime outright, but Take Down crits and OHKOs the Kadabra*
YOWZA that hit HARD. And that was just her Kadabra... her Alakazam... jeeze. Well Screentime managed to hang on with 4HP, so heíll stay in and kamikaze himself on whatever comes out next...
*Mr. Mime is Kamikaziíd on, loses most of its health. Apparently fainting by recoil cancels Mr. Mimeís move, since it doesnít do anything as Bud comes out*
Bud will not be able to take a Psychic, but I think heís faster so he SHOULD be able to finish it off with Razor Leaf...
*Mr. Mime is KOíd, Venomoth is up next*
Venomoth huh? Well, TongueTied should be able to manage this. Wing Attack until it stops moving!
*Wing Attack crits, putting it in the red, while TongueTied is hit by Psybeam*
But it only took out a third of his health! Man, Golbat really does have a lot more bulk than youíd expect.
*Venomoth is finished and the main event comes on out...*
Alright, my best bet for this is Random. Heís got one of my strongest physical attacks, and, unlike Shout, should be able to take a Psychic with his high Special. I just hope he can pull it off... Body Slam!
*Alakazam of course outspeeds and unleashes... Psybeam! Oh thank lord. It still takes off a third of Randomís health though. Body Slam is a 2HKO but doesnít paralyze*
Alright, now unless I get really unlucky...
*Alakazam uses Reflect, but itís too little too late, and it is crushed by Randomís massive power*
HELLS YEAH, EASIEST SABRINA TAKE DOWN EVER! That could not have gone more according to plan!
So the humiliated Sabrina hands me the Marsh Badge and TM 46, Psywave (one of the most useless Psychic type moves ever conceived). So yeah, there we go! The gym leader I had feared the most is done for, and I can relax a bit.
But not for long, because I have a long sea voyage next, as well as another Gym Leader that has me worried, not so much because of him himself but who I have to solo him with... yeah, next chapter I solo Blaine. With a Golbat. Yeah... well until next time people, audios!
END OF CHAPTER SUMMARY:
Location: Pewter City
Retries: 5 (thatís right, Sabrina canít best me!)
Bud the Venusaur
Oh. Hell. Yes. Bud was good before he evolved, but now heís just a beast. He has great defences on both ends of the spectrum and good offenses as well. Razor Leaf is particularly lethal thanks to its tremendous crit rate. Heís looking better and better all the time, and Iím looking forward to continuing to use him in the future.
Screentime the Pidgeotto
Screentime on the other hand is not doing particularly well... at all. Heís without a doubt the weakest both physically and offensively on my team, and he only got past Blueís Charizard due to gratuitous hax. And despite this, heís still a vital member of my team, because that powerful Flying Type Stab is the only advantage I have against both Bug and Grass Types. I really canít wait until he evolves though since heís really falling behind... but thatís not for another goddamn 10 levels. Iím really not looking forward to his use in the future...
Shout the Nidoking
Earthquake (3 PP Up)
This chapter Shout got the one upgrade heís been needing every since I got him, and heís become a beast instantly because of it. Earthquake is exactly what the doctor ordered; a powerful physical STAB. Not only that, but the coverage the Ground type provides is phenomenally useful to the team, giving me super effective coverage against both the Electric and Poison types that I could only hit neutrally before. The extra power against neutral foes is much appreciated as well. Heís become my physical powerhouse now, as he demonstrated by effortlessly obliterating Koga. Iím really looking forward to seeing how far he can rise.
Random the Gyarados
Random. Fucks. Shit. Up. All you need to know. Nothing has changed, and for Random, thatís a good thing. I just regret I wonít be able to use him to obliterate Blaine.
TongueTied the Golbat
Confuse Ray (unusable)
Truth be told, TongueTied has been a bit of a pleasant surprise. Sure heís not dominating like some of the others are, but heís pulling through when I need him. What impresses me the most is his bulk, which is far more substantial than youíd really think it would be. Heís still lacking in power due to his moveset, as usual, but at least heís reliable. I can count on him to take a hit or two and strike back. However, this isnít stopping me from dreading my fight with Blaine. Blaine has some pretty powerful Pokemon and TongueTiedís bulk is only decent, not great. TongueTied doesnít have any really good moves for hitting Blaine either so itís not like I can just quickly overpower him to end the fight. I think I might have to resort to X-Items for this one...
TheRainbow the Persian
TheRainbow is an interesting member of my team. He doesnít hit really hard really and he canít really take hits at all, yet I find myself using him very frequently. What it comes down to is his versatility in attacking, being able to go both physical and special with equal ease. The coverage Thunderbolt offers is also insanely useful, leading TheRainbow to become my pseudo Electric type. His speed also comes in handy for quickly dispatching fast but frail enemies like Kadabra before they can poke holes in my team. He really is reminiscent of Big Banks from the Sapphire scramble I did, except with less bulk and more attack power. His usefulness cannot be denied, but keeping him alive for very long is no small task.
Chapter 7: Wild Pokemon are EVIL
Alright, before I head down to Cinnabar, I got some surfing to do so I can pick up the crap I missed. Letís see... actually there isnít a lot to be found in generation one. Thereís a Nugget in the Safari zone, the Softboiled TM in Celadon and TM 16 Pay Day on Route 12. Usually Iíd go and get this stuff but really, I donít need any of those items. I could also go the Power Plant but Iím a little under-levelled for Zapdos so I guess Iíll just start right in and head for Cinnabar. Time for some seafaring!
*against a swimmer on the shore near Fuchsia, before even getting into the water*
The hell... Screentime just got wasted by a lv 29 Staryu because the previous Horsea used Smokescreen ONCE on him and then Screentime proceeded to miss FIVE TIMES IN A ROW. That is such bullshit I do not know how to properly express it.
Alright Random, itís time for us to take to the seas. Riding on the back of 20 foot long motherfucking sea serpent is the ONLY way to travel! Certainly a lot more badass than the oversized badger I rode in Hoenn.
Swimmer: ďI look at the sea to forget!Ē
In-battle defeat message: ďoh thatís tragicĒ
After battle: ďI look at the sea to forget!Ē
Me: ..... huh? But you said that before the fight... and what are you trying to forget? Just... what?
Oh and Screentime got Smokescreened again in the next battle and proceeded to miss with Quick attack at least five times in a row. Seriously, is something wrong with your eyes Screentime? Itís just one damn Smokescreen!
Swimmer: ďI tried diving for Pokemon, but it was a no-goĒ
Iíd say something smarmy about that being because itís hard to battle while holding your breath, but you do exactly that in generation III soooooooo...
Wait a second.
... Tentacruel has its arms crossed? The fuck? That just seems so wrong and so appropriate all at the same time.
Oho, hereís the swimmer with the three ladies swimming with him. Of course there are no female swimmers in generation one though, so instead they just throw Beauties in instead. Fully clothed and wearing high heels. Yuuuup!
Oh, but theyíre represented on the overworld by the same sprite the normal swimmers are. Those are some awfully manly girls you have there...
Beauty: ďI just love your ride, can I have it if I win?Ē
And apparently this one is into giant, menacing sea serpents. Yeah, something is a little off with these ďgirlsĒ.
Swimmer: ďWhy are you riding that Pokemon, canít you swim?Ē
Apparently not, and apparently not a single protagonist in any Pokemon game can either. Itís not like I can use the excuse that itís dangerous since there are literally dozens of people swimming between these islands and the mainland...
Oh hey a Seadra!
Raise the roof bro!
Beauty: ďI love floating with the fishes!Ē
Wow, that line came dangerously close to meaning something horrifically different.
*After many battles with Speedo clad Swimmers and one piece dress clad Beauties (also swimming)*
Ah, finally, here we are on the Seafoam Islands. As in Leaf Green, there is absolutely no one here and I am not bothering to fight or catch the wild Pokemon, soooo donít expect much commentary from me...
Oh, there are also no visible items in here either, just a couple hidden ones Iím not bothering with. Seriously, this place is so empty itís kind of freaky.
*Encounters a Seel*
Is it just me or is that thing sporting a distinguished moustache?
*encounters several Staryu... ON LAND*
*encounters a Golbat*
*after much running around, pushing boulders around and dozens upon dozens of random encounters, the current is stopped and I can venture onwards to Cinnabar*
And there we go, I probably just destroyed the local ecosystem by altering the flow of the water but at least now I can get to the next city! Remember kids, protect the environment unless itís getting in your way, then itís alright to fuck it over in whatever way necessary.
Actually, I kind of think of it as revenge against the wild Pokemon here for making this take around 30 times longer than it should have.
Jeeze, my team is starting to look pretty worn down and I still have to get to Cinnabar... well I hope I can make it without flying all the way back to Fuchsia. I do NOT want to go through those damn Islands again.
.... thereís a female Junior Trainer in the water, also fully clothed with her camping gear on. Seriously, that has got be uncomfortable. Just imagine the chaffing!
Swimmer: ďCheck out my buff physique!Ē
.... thatís buff?
Bird Keeper on a dock in the middle of the waterway: ďI flew here on my Bird Pokemon!Ē
.... Why? Why did you want to be on a dock in the middle of nowhere? *is so confused*
After defeat: ďMy birds canít Fly me back!Ē
You didnít think this through very well did you?
*Screentime faints to a critical Water Gun from a Starmie*
Oh bullshit! Well Iím too close to Cinnabar to go back to Fuchsia now. Screentime is just going to have to fall behind in levels a little bit dammit.
*A few minutes later*
Ah finally, thatís Cinnabar island there, letís go o-
*Everything is suddenly blood red*
HOLY CRAP WHAT HORRIBLE MASSACRE HAPPENED HERE? Oh wait, thatís just the default color for this area... jeeze, did they mean this to look so nasty?
Alright, so letís see... Pokemon Center first.
*They finally tell you here you can cancel evolution to learn new moves sooner*
Oh yeah, thatís totally useful to know now at the FREAKING 7th GYM. Gamefreak, thatís just a total fail.
Guy in Pokemart: ďIt never hurts to have extra items!Ē
BULLSHIT! Then I canít pick up good items! YOU ARE TRYING TO MISLEAD ME YOU ASSHOLE!
Cinnabar Sign: ďCinnabar Island: The Fiery Town of Burning DesireĒ
Oh, so thatís why itís red. The town is on fire. Why is everyone so calm?
Letís see whatís in the Pokemon lab?
*checks it out*
.... A few useless trades, the useless TM 35 Metronome and reanimation services I donít need. Well that was a waste of time. Youíd think Iíd remember that from Leaf Green...
Alright, all thatís left here is the bizarrely locked gym (why?) and the Pokemon Mansion. Before I head into the Mansion though, I think Iím going to explore route 21 and train a bit there. Just finish everything off ready for the gyms eh?
Swimmer: ďIím in the middle of a triathlon meet right now!Ē
Then how on Earth do you have time to battle me? Arenít you losing an awful lot of time doing this?
*After a couple battles, Random wants to learn Hydro Pump*
No can do, but I bet Surf is better anyway, thanks to its reliability and higher PP.
*After having TongueTied nearly faint to a frigginí Shelder*
Good lord, how am I going to do this solo against Blaine? I canít even use items on the damn thing when itís on the battlefield. Looks like Iím going to have to make ample use of heal fodder...
CUEBALL: ďWhatís wrong with me swimmingĒ
Wait what? A Cueball is swimming out here? Bwahhahaha and heís still wearing his S&M Mad Max getup! Now THATís a thought!
After battle: ďA studded inner tube? Get lost!Ē
Fisherman: ďI got a big haul, letís see what you got!Ē
*His ďhaulĒ is 6 lv 27 Magikarp*
..... This is after the 6th gym that this is happening. Yeah.
*Finally makes it to Pallet Town*
Alright, finally Iím done with that. Now, onto the Pokemon Mansion! They keep telling me it got burned out long ago but itís so damn red Iím not fully convinced itís not still burning... Well I do have Random to put out any fires.
Huh, this place looks like itís in a lot better condition here than it did in Leaf Green. I mean here the entrance is lined with pillars, not rubble. Thatís a pretty big improvement Iíd say.
Oh looky here, itís a button in a statue! What could possibly go wrong if pressed it?
Wait I already made this joke last time. Dammit!
I do wonder why on Earth they installed all these hidden switch controlled doors though. I mean, how many science labs do you know that have this sort of shit? I mean itís not even good for security purposes... I figured out this puzzle when I was freaking 10 years old! Brilliant scientists or paranoid nutjobs? You decide.
HEíS SO CUTE AND PUDGY! Awww poor Burglar canít find his way out of the scary mansion? Let me put some extra pressure on you to find your way out by fainting all your Pokemon :D Iím helpful like that.
Ah, and of course scattered all over the place are the diary pages detailing the discovery of Mew and the creation of Mewtwo. I still donít understand why theyíre spread all over the place and no more than a few lines long each though... why not keep them together? Or did some oddly neat tornado rip through the lab and place the pages neatly on tables all over the mansion?
Also, the second and third floors look a lot less pristine than the ground floor. Seems kind of odd to me, since last time I checked heavy chunks of rubble tended to fall down when a building collapsed, not pile up neatly on the higher floors.
Scientist after defeat: ďSo, youíre stuck? Try jumping off over there!Ē
*looks down 3 story drop*
... Youíre trying to get me killed arenít you?
*does it anyway*
And somehow I get away without as much as a broken ankle. Ah Gamefreak, telling kids itís ok to jump off buildings since 1997.
Journal fragment: ďDairy; Spet. 1: Mewtwo is far too powerful. We have failed to curb its vicious tendencies...Ē
Well, Iíd have to say you dun goofed Mr. Scientist! Congratulations on creating the most powerful evil force to ever walk the world, weíre all grateful for it.
Oh whatís this?
*Jimera found TM 14 Blizzard!*
Ooooooo sweet. Thatís useful, especially since in generation 1 it has the same accuracy as Take Down. Random might be getting that for against Lance he might...
Scientist: ďThis place is ideal for a lab.Ē
Wait what? You mean a crumbling, unsafe, potentially still on fire (still donít know where that redness is coming from) building filled with dangerous wild Pokemon is ideal for your lab? What the hell kind of lab are you thinking of building? Whatever it is, Iím pretty sure it wonít be OSHA compliant.
*gets to the very end of the mansion, the Secret Key is on the table*
Disembodied voice of exposition: ďNo more room for items!Ē
Iím just going to go hang myself now, donít mind me.
*I use an Escape Rope to hang myself... err actually no, to get back to the Pokemon Center and then backtrack all the way back*
Oh, and just to add insult to injury, I wouldnítíve had to backtrack through the entire mansion if I hadnít used that escape rope because thereís a switch that opens a shortcut. I. Am. Fail.
Just in case you didnít get it from my disdain at having to backtrack, the reason Iím so pissed is because this place seems to be more infested with wild Pokemon than the Seafoam Islands were. Seriously, I am starting to HATE wild Pokemon.
*Finds TM 22 Solarbeam*
Yeah, Iíll be using that exactly never. Razor Leafís instant use and almost guaranteed critical hit far outclass a two turn charge up move, no matter how powerful.
*Finally finds the Secret Key*
And THERE we go. Finally, I can get into the Cinnabar gym! However thereís an issue... you see, Blaineís main Pokemon is a level 47 Arcanine. TongueTied is a level 43 Golbat with Take Down as its best move. I need to grind.
In fact I need to grind so much that Iím worried about how long itíll take... you guys have waited long enough for an update from me already! So unfortunately, youíre going to have to wait until next chapter for me to take on Blaine. But donít worry, next chapter will more than make up for it. You thought Chapter 6 was action packed? Just wait until you read Chapter 8! Until then though, audios!
END OF CHAPTER SUMMARY:
Location: Cinnabar Island
Bud the Venusaur
Bud is easily one of my best Pokemon right now, between his great bulk and extremely powerful Razor Leaf attack. Thereís little that can stand in his way now, and thatís only going to get more apparent once he learns a new move in the next chapter...
Screentime the Pidgeotto
Screentime, conversely, is probably my single worst Pokemon right now. It canít deal damage worth a damn and canít take hits worth a damn either, be they special attacks or physical. Hell, he even hurts himself thanks to Take Down being his most powerful attacking option. He has trouble against some wild Pokemon, let alone fully evolved trainer Pokemon. Thankfully, there is a light at the end of the tunnel here. Thereís only 6 more levels until he learns Mirror Move and can FINALLY evolve. I donít expect him to be insanely useful even after that, true, but heíll be far more useful than he is now, thatís for certain.
Shout the Nidoking
Earthquake (3 PP Up)
Shout is really a force to be reckoned with, especially with 16 Earthquakeís set and ready to be launched. Very few Pokemon that donít resist it can take an Earthquake from him, and if theyíre weak to it itís goodbye for sure. Heís becoming somewhat analogous to Random now in that he only really needs his two main attacks to smash the enemy. As such, Horn Drill and Double Team rarely see any use. I do wish Strength was a little more powerful though, but Shout has enough bulk to take pretty much any attack thrown at him that isnít super-effective so itís not that big a deal.
Random the Gyarados
Damn, I still need to write commentary for this guy? You all know what Random does, and that is OHKO the crap out of EVERYTHING. I swear, I donít think he failed to OHKO a single Pokemon this chapter. Itís a shame I canít use him for Blaine, but at least his solo of Giovanni will be a breeze.
TongueTied the Golbat
Confuse Ray (unusable)
TongueTied is really not holding up particularly well. While heís not nearly as bad as Screentime is, he is seriously lacking some power, and the fact he has to rely on Take Down to deal good damage really hampers his survivability, which is something he has going for him otherwise. Heís honestly not nearly as terrible as I feared heíd be, but heís still not nearly good enough for Blaine. Itís going to take a lot of grinding before heís ready to take on what is looking to be the hardest solo Iíll have to do all game.
TheRainbow the Persian
TheRainbow is really fun to use, simply because of the versatility and unorthodox nature of his moveset. He hits fairly hard, though not nearly as hard as some of the others, so his power isnít usually an issue. His coverage is where he really shines though. Thunderbolt in particular is very useful, and allows me to take on Flying types with ease. I still havenít had a chance to showcase why Iím so excited about having Toxic on him yet. Youíll have to wait until later to find out about that little tidbit!
Chapter 8: Bug Abuse
Alright, time for grinding!
Wait youíre saying I promised action this chapter? Well too bad, GRIND TIME!
*Bud wants to learn Growth*
Oh yeah! This is what I was talking about! Now Bud can boost his Special, allowing him to REALLY wreck shit up with Razor Leaf! I can finally get rid of Growl now. Heh. Iím getting rid of Growl at level 43. Pretty sure Iíve never kept it for that long before!
*Runs into a wild level 42 Weezing*
HOLY SHIT! That thing is the same level as TheRainbow! Good lord, this thing might actually take him out...
*it doesnít manage to thanks to a crit*
Damn, I was looking at a 4HKO without that crit. I have to be careful down here it would seem...
*Runs into a wild lv 40 Muk*
Jeeze... well at least I know Iím getting good experience here.
*After several hours of grinding*
Good god, this is taking forever, and so far only TongueTied has even reached level 45. It wouldnít be so bad if everyone was as easy to train as Random and Shout are... they just OHKO everything (Bud would too if it werenít for the fact that every last Pokemon in the mansion resists Razor Leaf). Wait a second... it can be! I think itís finally time to break out the Exp. All! Of course first I have to acquire it... Thankfully I actually reached the 50 Pokemon requirement needed for it some time ago.
*A quick flight back to Fuchsia City later*
Alright, Oakís Aide handed me the Exp. All without issue and now I can get to work! Thisíll be so much easier just using Random and Shout to do all the battling...
*After a second of using the Exp. All*
Hang on a second... no, this doesnít work like I thought it did at all! Half the experience goes to the battler and the rest is divided among the others... I thought it shared it between all 6 equally! Dangit, I canít use this the way I intended... well I guess I can keep it in my inventory when Iím training Random and Shout and at least reduce the amount of time the others have to train...
*after using it for a while longer*
Ok, this isnít going to work. It takes forever to get out of the end battle screen because the game feels the need to tell you how much experience each member of the team got... ONE AT A TIME! Itís probably slowing me down more than itís speeding me up. Iím just going to have to do this the old fashioned way it would seem...
... I just realized one thing. You know how I was so excited to teach Growth to Bud, since itíd amp up his Razor leaf even higher than it was already? Yeah, well it turns out I was full of shit because critical hits ignore offensive stat boosts in generation I and Razor Leaf has a pretty much 100% critical rate. Shortly speaking, I was better off with Growl. I cannot believe I just typed that sentence.
*After hours and hours of grinding, the team is finally all at level 47*
YES IíM DO-
Oh wait I still need to get Hyper Beam from the Game Corner in Celadon. I didnít mention that before? Yeah, well I figured Iíd have a much better chance of beating Blaine with a Golbat if that Golbat was packing a 150 BP move. Especially because in Generation I you donít have to spend a turn recharging if you happen to knock out the Pokemon itís aimed at, making it an ideal finishing move. Also, heís getting Double-Edge, but thankfully I have THAT TM in my PC box already. Thatíll be taught over Take Down, since itís both slightly more powerful and much more accurate.
So letís see how many coins does Hyper Beam cost?
5500!?!??!?!? FUCKING BULLSHIT I THOUGHT I WAS DONE WITH GRINDING!
So, I gotta go from 50 coins to fucking 5500. This will be fuuuuun! I wish I had enough cash to just buy the damn coins... Hang on... do I have enough cash?
*does some quick calculations*
Well what do you know, I DO have enough coins. Itíll chew up half my money reserves though. I donít think I really want to use that much money just yet... Iíll still be needing items for later battles. Iíll just do a bit of slots and then buy the rest when I get sick of them.
*one jackpot later*
Alright, this is a little more challenging than in the remakes... the slots rotation isnít as smooth so it makes timing a little more difficult, but at the same time itís also a bit more forgiving in that there seem to be fewer options to hit, so even if I miss the jackpot Iím pretty likely to get a random smaller prize... Well, every Jackpot I hit saves me 6000 poke so Iíll keep on going.
Holy crap, the little payouts come so often theyíre actually giving me more coins than Iím losing! Now thereís something that never happens in the later generations!
*goes on a losing streak of around 100 coins immediately afterwards*
... I just had to fucking jinx myself.
*resets back to higher saved total because that was bullshit*
...Iíve only gotten myself 1/10th of the coins I need and Iím already sick of this shit.
*fucking gives up*
Too much frustration for too little reward. Here cashier, just take all my fucking cash. JUST TAKE IT OR IíLL SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR FUCKING THROAT!
*10 cathartic minutes of pounding on the A button buying coins and a few happy pills later*
Ahhhh, thatís better. Finally, I got TM 15 Hyper Beam. You better look out Blaine because, an insanely freakish and angry bat is coming right for your hair! Wait, you donít have hair... well played sir. Well played.
First things first though, letís take out his lackeys. Sure I could answer the quizzes correctly and ignore them, but I want TongueTied to go up another level before Blaine to help ensure he doesnít end up burnt to a crisp.
Burglar after defeat: ďI canít stop stealing other peopleís Pokemon!Ē
And yet they let you in a gym? Am I the only person seeing a problem here?
Super Nerd: ďYou canít win! I have studied Pokemon totally!Ē
*snerk* Yeah sure kid. Is that why you only use fire types?
Burglar: ďI just like using Fire Pokemon!Ē
At least this one is honest.
Lord, all these guys say something along the lines of ďtoo hot!Ē after every battle (except the one guy who said ďowĒ). Running out of ideas Gamefreak, or are you just lazy?
Alright, I finally made it through them all. Blaine, prepare to be truly terrified!
*Blaineís Growlithe faces off against TongueTied*
Blaine: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHAT IS THAT THING!!??!?!??!
Me: YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE!
*Swift 2HKOís his Growithe, which does nothing but use Agility*
Blaine: How... how does that thing EAT?
Me: IT EATS SOULS!
*Blaineís Ponyta is 2HKOíd by Swift after missing with Stomp*
Blaine: Is it... throbbing?
Me: YEEEEESS! It is throbbing WITH UNLIMITED POWER!
*Blaineís Rapidash takes around 1/3 health from Swift, misses with Growl*
*TongueTiedís Tongue begins to glow*
Blaine: What... whatís happening?
Me: Brace yourself! It begins now!
*Rapidash is vaporized by Hyper Beam*
Blaine: MY EYES! IT BURNS! SAVE ME ARCANINE!
Me: Nothing can save you now!
(God that thing looks derpy and smug)
*Double Edge does 1/3 health to Arcanine, Blaine uses a Super Potion the same turn????*
Me: Wait, what? How did that work?
Blaine: SCREW THE RULES I HAVE A GYM!
*Double-Edge puts it back in the same spot, Roar misses*
Me: soon... soon...
Blaine: I donít like the sound of this...
*Swift crits, Arcanine fails with Roar again.*
Me: FINISH HIM!
The Heavens themselves: FATALITY!
*Recovers the Volcanobadge and TM 38 Fire Blast from the blackened skeleton that once was Blaine*
Alright, one more down! That was a lot easier than I expected it to be, though it probably helped that Blaine seemed to choose the most useless moves available to him. Iím pretty sure Roar doesnít work for enemy trainers at all in generation 1...
*A check shows that it indeed does not work in trainer battles*
So why do so many trainer Pokemon have this?
Well only one gym left now. Letís go see whatís waiting for us in Viridian now shall we?
*One quick flight later*
Itís a bunch of gym trainers! What a shocker! Also, more arrow tiles. This is going to be fuuuuun...
Wait a second...
*Jimera0 found a Revive*
INSIDE A GYM??? Holy shit, I think this might be the only time in all of Pokemon thereís actually an item to pick up inside a gym.
COOLTRAINERS HAVE WHIPS NOW TOO????
Hmmm I just remembered something... I guess now is as good a time as any to show you guys. This random Tamer is going to help me demonstrate something... The Toxic-seed bug!
First, I use Leech Seed on an enemy, like this Rhyhorn. I COULD OHKO it with Razor Leaf, but for the purpose of this demonstration, I will refrain from doing so.
*Enemy Rhyhorn was seeded!*
Next, I switch out to TheRainbow, who will then use toxic on our beauti- err... sporting? assistant here.
Now, the Rainbow will stall with Thunderbolt to allow the glitch to show itself.
*First turn, Toxic and leech seed combine for 1/8th of health, as they each start out at 1/16th*
But as time goes on things start changing... The Toxic damage increases as expected, but so too does the Leech Seed damage! The second that turn theyíre both on the foe, it combines for ľ of the Rhyhornsí health! On top of that, TheRainbow gains health not just from the Leech Seedís damage but from the poison damage too, restoring all its health! The next turn, if Rhyhorn had enough health (were it healed for instance), the Leech Seed damage would go up again, as would the damage done by Toxic. At this point, individually they are doing 3/16ths damage of the total health of the opponent... each. So yes, by turn 3 the residual damage is 3/8ths of the opponents total HP. By turn 5, even if the opponent has been restored to full HP, the damage is guaranteed to OHKO. It doesnít have to be done in this order either; basically, if Toxic and Leech Seed are on the same pokemon, then theyíll do the same damage. Also, thanks to the way Leech Seed works, even if your opponent has next to no HP left itíll still heal as much as it wouldíve damaged had the opponent had full HP, making it very useful as a healing method. Now you can all see why I was so excited about this thing! Just imagine this monster of a bug in competitive battling...
*After a few more lackeys and a bit more bug abuse, I reach the gym leader*
*Gasp!* itís Giovanni! Who couldíve seen that coming? Well, this time heís not going to run away... no, heís going to get WASHED away! Washed away by Randomís awesome Surf! Of course, after heís done with the ride he probably wonít be getting up again. Ever. Mwahahahahaahaha!
*Random faces off Giovanniís Rhyhorn*
Oh, youíre going to have to do better than that.
*Surf OHKOís with ease*
A Dugtrio next? Damn, those things are really frightening... if youíre a newbie trainer in Diglett Cave for the first time that is!
*Dugtrio is washed away by the surge*
A Nidoqueen eh? Finally, something with some special bulk! Not that itíll mater!
*Nidoqueenís crown is washed down the drain*
And now the King stands up for his fallen Queen! Touching really, but nothing can stand before the wrath of my mighty sea serpent!
*The Kingdom is washed out to sea along with its King*
And now what could his final Pokemon be? Itís... itís... AN ACTUAL RHYDON! No cheapskating it this time like in Leaf Green, heís got the real deal here! Now the question is... how well can it stand up to Randomís Surf?
*About as well as a sandcastle would, it turns out*
Well, that was awfully anti-climactic for a final gym battle. It looks to me like Giovanni is *puts on sunglasses* ALL WASHED UP!
Anyway, time to finish Giovanni off! Oh wait, I canít yet though. I need his gym badge and shit. Ok, give me the crap then Iím dealing wi-
*The instant after he hands over the Earthbadge and TM 27 Fissure he vanishes into thin air*
Well so much for that.
But hang on... weíre not done just yet! Thereís one more thing to do before we move onto the next chapter... because just around the bend lies my hardest battle yet.... Blue, here I come!
Or I would... except I have one thing to do first. Hey Screentime, chow down on this candy I have here.
*Screentime reached level 49, Screentime Learned mirror Move*
Yeah yeah, get to the good stuff.
*Screentime evolved into Pidgeot!*
Oh, btw, I taught Mirror Move over Take Down which I then immediately re-taught via TM. Why? Well, it turns out that Blueís Charizard still has a weakness for Screentime to exploit and I need Sand-Attack to exploit that weakness...
Alright, letís head towards the Pokemon Leauge then! Or at least, letís head far enough towards it that we trigger a certain somebody to pop out and ask for a fight...
Yes, hello Blue. Letís see whoís a warm-up for who now shall we?
*Random faces off against his Pidgeot*
Oh this is going to be fun.
*Surf 2HKOs whereas Pidgeot barely scratches Randomís scales*
Youíre going to have to do better than that Blue! Wait, youíre seriously sending out Rhyhorn now? Against a Pokemon that just 2HKOíd your Pidgeot... WITH SURF? Are you insane? Well, lucky for you, another member of my team needs the Exp. more. Unfortunately for you though, that Pokemon is Shout.
*Shout OHKOís with Earthquake*
You make me wanna rock and roll!
So Exeggcute next eh? You havenít even evolved it yet? Hey, Iím not going to complain when you give my Pokemon free kills. TongueTied, youíre next!
*Wing Attack 2HKOs*
Alright, whoís next? Your Gyarados? Well thatíd be scary... if I didnít have an electric attack that is. TheRainbow, fry that overgrown Magikarp!
*gets a critical hit, obviously OHKOs*
Mmmm Gyarados fillets for everyone! Oh, but whatís this? Alakazam wants to spoil the barbeque? Random, why donít you go show it some manners?
*Relect gets put up, but Alakazam is OHKOíd when Body Slam crits anyway.*
Geeze, and youíre out-leveling me too! Anyway, his Charizard is up next so itís show time for Screentime! Put some sand on that fire for me will yah?
*Sand Attack hits... and what do you know. Charizard chose Rage. Of course, it missed.*
So, yíall see why I wanted to keep Sand-Attack on good old Screentime here? What couldíve been a rough battle suddenly just got very easy. Though, this time Iím going to just pound him to death rather than torture him for several turns. Luckily for Blue, I just donít have the patience tonight.
*Charizard uses Slash as Screentime uses Fly*
.... Wait what? I thought... crap, it has to hit first before it becomes uncontrollable! I FAILED THE BUG ABUSE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
*Flamethrower and Fly hit for about the same damage*
Oh shit oh shit oh shit!! But I outspeed at least, so baring some crazy hax Screentime should come out on top...
*Thankfully Charizard uses Leer the next time Screentime is on the ground, allowing Screentime to comfortably 3HKO it*
Well Screentime kind of dodged a bullet there.
Blue: ďJimera, you need more practice!Ē
Wait, what? I just effortlessly wiped out your team. Good lord, I swear youíre brain damaged. Did Oak perform experiments on you as a kid or something?
Well in any case, thatís enough for one chapter. Next time we cover the final leg of our journey and take on the final obstacle standing between me and the Pokemon Leauge... Victory Road, you had better look out, because here we come!
END OF CHAPTER SUMMARY:
Location: Viridian City
Pokemon: 6 (All fully evolved at last!)
Retries: 5 (and this time not adding to that number is an actual achievement!)
Bud the Venusaur
Bud continues to be a force to be reckoned with. Heís got bulk, heís got power, and heís even got healing. I did make one big, dumb mistake with him this chapter though in teaching him Growth. Yeah, so it turns out Growth is utterly useless alongside a move that gets critical hits 100% of the time. Still, losing GROWL of all things isnít a huge thing to complain about. Heíll have a much more useful move for that slot soon enough anyway...
Screentime the Pidgeot
Good. Freaking. Lord. Screentime was a massive pain to grind, with even the wild Pokemon in the Pokemon Mansion being a threat to him. But now that heís evolved... well I donít really know, as so far Iíve only used him once in his fully evolved state. The good news is that he beat Blueís Charizard 1 on 1 fairly easily despite me mucking up the Rage glitch. That Charizard out-leveled Screentime by 4 levels by the way, so the fact that it could only do as much damage with Flamethrower as I could do with Fly is very encouraging. Itís looking like Screentime finally might start pulling his weight again next chapter!
Shout the Nidoking
Earthquake (3 PP Up)
Shout actually didnít do much other than grind this chapter, though not because I couldnít use him but because I tend to train my weaker Pokemon first and he didnít have to solo anything. Still, what he did have to fight he flat out demolished. Honestly, Iím not sure if a single thing avoided being OHKOíd by his Earthquake this chapter. Iím certainly looking forward to using him more next chapter! I really do enjoy using the King!
Random the Gyarados
He OHKOíd every single last member of Giovanniís team. I really donít have to say anything do I?
TongueTied the Golbat
Well looky here, TongueTied has a moveset full of moves he can actually use again! And did he ever put them to good use. Blaine was far easier to solo than I had anticipated, though some of that might be blind luck in that he didnít really use anything damaging the entire fight. Still, TongueTied has gained a lot this chapter between Double-Edge and Hyper Beam. He might fall back into the LVP spot now that Screentime has evolved, but despite that heís actually looking stronger than ever. I thought this scramble was supposed to be a hard one?
TheRainbow the Persian
TheRainbow hasnít really changed that much since last chapter. I continue to enjoy his speed and coverage, allowing him to function well against most foes. I also have got to say that abusing the toxic-seed glitch with him was mighty satisfying. I know what to do now should a Pokemon give me trouble in the League... Oh, heís also very close to getting Slash now, and you can bet that once that happens heís going to have a massive power spike. A 100% critical rate on STAB 70 BP move? Oh, HELL yes!
Chapter 9: Nose to the Grindstone
Alright, time to enter Victory Road! Or, it would be time to enter Victory Road if I didnít have to trek through a trainerless route showing off my badges while running away from dozens of wild Pokemon. Yay?
Well I guess I shouldnít be too hard on this place since itís the progenitor of the awesome league gate system in Black and White, but still... this route is just so damn pointless.
Wait a second. One of these guards checking your badges is out simming in the middle of the water thatís in the middle of this route for some reason. And just for kicks, he requires you to show the Soul Badge. Which is the badge that lets you use Surf outside of battle. And heís unreachable unless youíre Surfing. Anyone else see the problem here?
Oh, and I think I already mentioned this, but this Victory Road is totally dickish because thereís no Pokemon Center outside of it, so if you want to heal you have to go all the way back to Viridan City. So guess what Iím going to be doing in here? If you said running from dozens upon dozens of wild Pokemon instead of fighting them as I normal do in Victory Road, congratulations! You win a cookie.
Alright, enough mucking around letís do this shit. Strength Puzzles, GO!
Oh, and I just love how there are pairs of items in here that, thanks to the strength boulder puzzles protecting them, require you to leave the cave once to get both of them. And by love I mean SEETHING ALL CONSUMING HATE!
So yeah, from one of those pairs I got TM 43 Sky Attack (yeah no thanks) and a Rare Candy. Worth it...?
She has a whip too. Why the fuck not.
Humph, the trainers here are boring. They donít say anything except like ďhey youíre good, See if you can beat me!Ē Címon people, give me some material to work with here!
Tamer: ďCmon, Iíll whip you!Ē
Aaaand thereís some material! In fact itís such good material itís a joke in and of itself! I donít even have to say anything!
God damn it.
Oh hey whatís that? There seems to be a legendary bird in my cave! Why would a bird live in a cave? Hell if I know, apparently giant legendary birds like enclosed spaces that prevent them from flying or stretching their wings properly.
And now TM 17 Submission! Well that was totally worth a bag slot when I can just buy one from the Celadon department store whenever I want!
Yeah Iíll be tossing it soon.
*in a battle against a Chansey, Screentime uses Take Down and proceeds to lose over a third of his health to recoil damage*
.... Youíd think I wouldíve seen that coming.
Disembodied Voice of Exposition: ďNo more room for Items!Ē
... Should have seen that coming too.
*trashes useless TM 17 Submission and picks up the equally useless TM47 Explosion*
Oh look, I seem to have found my way to the lair of a Legendary Bird!
LETíS KILL IT!
*TongueTied leads against... is that supposed to be Moltres?*
Geeze that thing looks like itís been through the wringer already... letís put the poor thing out of its misery.
*Double Edge does 1/3 or so damage to it, its Peck doesnít do much in return*
Alright, one more time!
*Puts it in the yellow, Fire Spin thankfully misses*
Alright, thatís enough beating on the old thing. Time for a quick painless death by vaporization!
*Hyper Beam! BZZZZAAAAP!*
Alright, enough of that distraction. Onwards!
*Many boring battles and strength boulder pushing later*
Alright, TM 05 Mega Kick! Itís... maybe possibly kind of useful? Oh wait only Shout can learn it and heís out of space. Nevermind itís utterly useless.
Oh god... what is that? Itís the light... at the end of this tunnel! Is it... God?
Oh no itís just the end of Victory Road, which is actually a reward 80 times better than seeing God so Iím happy anyway.
And outside of Victory road is the path to the Pokemon League! Which has inexplicably been strewn with statues for no apparent reason... Why? Seriously, WHY?
And suddenly BOOM! Purple everywhere! Itís like someone squirted a grape flavoured Gusher all over the complex. Ew.
Anyway guess what time it is now people! Itís time to GRIND! Wooooo arenít you all excited? Get your whetstones out because this is going to be a doozy!
Jeeze, the Pokemon on Victory Road are mostly at bizarrely low levels. I mean around 2/3s of them are unevolved level 20 somethings, with the rest being level 40 evolved forms of the unevolved ones. This... isnít really making for good grinding. Hmmmm... I think I have a plan though. Weíve already killed one legendary bird this episode, so hey, WHY DONíT WE KILL ĎEM ALL???? MURDER IS SO MUCH FUN :D!
Alright, so first up, Zapdos! Unfortunately, in Generation I you canít just fly directly to the Pokemon Center in front of Rock tunnel so I have to trek there from Cerulean and take out Bellsprout one last time to cut the tree.
I thought I was done with cutting...
I also thought I was done with Pokemaniacs, but no, thereís one in front of the power plant with woefully under-leveled Pokemon.
Yeah, this one gets disintegrated too.
Alright, start kick-ass music! Which is the exact same as the Team Rocket music despite them having nothing to do with this place, but whatever.
Ah, here are the good old Voltorb and Electrode disguised as Pokeballs. And... theyíre level 40? Wait what? But the rest of the Pokemon in here are in their 20s, except for Zapdos obviously. The level disparity here is even worse than on Victory Road!
Aha, TM 25 Thunder is here! I might have use for this yet... Also TM 33 Reflect, which I suppose I might maybe possibly use... but probably not.
*Suddenly, a Wild Raichu appears!*
Wait what? HOLY SHIT! I didnít know you ever could run into a wild one, I mean usually Pokemon that evolve via evolutionary stone donít tend to show up in the wild. Damn Generation I, you weird O.o
Aha, thereís Zapdos! MURDER TIME :D
*Shout comes in against... a yellow sea urchin with bird feet?*
Seriously, could they make that sprite any spikier?
*Shout just beats it into the ground with Strength over the course of several turns*
You make me wanna make a bad electricity pun! But I wonít because Iím better than that yeaaaaah!
*walks out door near Zapdos, comes out same door I went in*
Wait what? Did I just find a worm hole?
Well anyways, spatial anomalies aside, next up is Articuno in the Seafoam Islands! There can be only none!
*A few minutes later*
Good thing I set all this up beforehand or who knows how long this could have taken... alright Articuno, time to die!
*TheRainbow bares its claws at the freaky alien pigeon that is Articuno*
Yah know, this one almost looked good but they had to fuck up the beak and make it 5x larger than it shouldíve been. Oh well...
*3HKO with Thunderbolt*
Alright, now who wants some barbequed giant ice chicken?
*one delicious meal later*
Mmmmm tasty. Anyway, now that thatís done all there is left to do is... grind. Well at least something got done in the meantime...
Huh, actually I think Iím getting more experience here in the Seafoam Islands on average than I did at Victory road. I think Iím just going to stay and train here instead of on Victory Road... at least here nothing resists the entire movesets of TongueTied and Screentime.
Wait a second. Whatís this? TheRainbow wants to learn Slash?
Holy crap, Slash is SO FREAKING AWESOME! It OHKOs everything down here and at the cost of absolutely no recoil! Itís so wonderful! *sheds a tear*
*A lv 31 grabby uses motherfucking Guillotine*
O.O at level 31???? Holy shit man! Not that it matters since in Generation I it only works on Pokemon slower than you, but still, an OHKO on a wild Pokemon? Madness I tell you!
*Screentime wants to learn Mirror Move!*
Wait what? Again? I guess since itís fully evolved now the level it learns it at got pushed up to level 54. I think Iím actually going to teach it to Screentime over Sand-Attack, since Iíve realized that with Fly I really donít need Sand-Attack to activate the Rage Glitch anyway. Maybe I can use it to copy some better moves for him, like Slash and stuff.
Aha Bud is level 55 now! Wait for it...
*Bud is trying to learn Sleep Powder!*
Oh HELL yes. Goodbye Growth and hello useful moveslot!
*Much, much later*
FINALLY my entire team is level 55! Thatís still 10 levels lower than Blueís Charizard, but it should be sufficient. By the way, training this chapter took approximately 8 hours of play time. I am not exaggerating. Though the few times my game pack got loose and caused me to lose 30+ minutes of progress didnít help much.
But huzzah, the good news is that is OVER! Now for the grand finale; the Pokemon League! Itís finally time for the biggest show down so far! So... are you ready? Well too bad, because Iím not. Not tonight anyway, Iíve already spent all day grinding dang it. Youíre going to have to wait until next time. Until then, audios!
END OF CHAPTER SUMMARY:
Location: Indigo Plateau
Retries: 5 (One more challenge to go)
Bud the Venusaur
Well here we go! Sleep Powder finally gives him the ability to reliably Leech Seed stall should the need arise, though the chances of that at this point in the game are kind of slim, especially when he has such a powerful attack in Razor Leaf to fall back on. Heíd be extremely useful in the League, if not for some of the solos I have to do, particularly with TheRainbow. Chances are that thanks to that he wonít see much use beyond Brunoís Onix... Ah well, heís enough for me so far it doesnít matter that much.
Screentime the Pidgeot
Yes, evolution really did help Screentime out a lot, but heís still not nearly as good as most of the rest of the team. In particular his special defence leaves a lot to be desired. Still, at least he isnít completely useless now. I hope I can manage to take down Blueís Charizard one last time with him... lord knows itíll be rough unless I can lock him into Rage again. I think Iíll just have to hope to get lucky... at least now if it uses Slash in the fight Screentime can copy it. I donít see Mirror Move being much use beyond that though. Screentime should be useful against Bruno at least though.
Shout the Nidoking
Earthquake (3 PP Up)
Iíve actually be surprised by Shoutís lack of power this chapter, with Earthquake not even being able to reliably take down a Golduck 15 levels lower than him. Still, heís got the bulk and power to be useful. Indeed, I think heíll be completely life saving against Agatha, who would likely be hell to take down for my team otherwise. Thank lord Levitate doesnít exist in Generation 1!
Random the Gyarados
I actually used Bide a few times when grinding... when my other moves were completely out of PP that is. Other than that thereís not much to be said for his past performance except that he demolishes everything still. The real question is how well heíll do against the Elite Four, and my hunch is that heíll do damn well indeed. Iíll probably teach him Blizzard just before Lance so his Dragonite doesnít muck me up too bad, but weíll wait until I get there to decide on that for sure. In any case, you can expect to see some ownage out of him next chapter!
TongueTied the Golbat
Well, TongueTied has pretty much served his purpose by this point. I donít see it being very likely heíll get any use at all in the Elite Four as heís outclassed in virtually every way by his teammates. Even Screentime outclasses him since his evolution; at least Screentime has a way of doing decent damage to opponents without hurting himself or missing a turn to recharge. Who knows though, maybe heíll be surprisingly helpful! Honestly though... I doubt it.
TheRainbow the Persian
Oh my god. Slash is everything I could have hoped for and more. It does tremendous amounts of damage to anything that doesnít resist it. Itís astounding how easy it was to train him after I got it. Still, Iím somewhat nervous about the Elite Four. OHKOing everything is easy when your opponents are all 10-25 levels lower than you... itís a different story against the mighty members of the Elite Four. And TheRainbow has a LOT of work to do there too, between having to Solo Lorelei and half of Blueís team as well as any miscellaneous tasks I decide to give him. Still, I fully expect him to succeed... though I might want to pack a few X-items as insurance.
Uh oh! It would seem I've hit the image limit (yeah, thought that might happen). The last chapter and the Epilogue will be continued in this post here!
Last edited by Jimera0; Feb 13th, 2012 at 2:39:25 PM.