Drifblim (UU Lead)

Status: Posted. I have a full-length set written out, which is hidden at the bottom.


http://www.smogon.com/dp/pokemon/drifblim

[SET]
name: Hindenburg (UU Lead)
move 1: Shadow Ball
move 2: Hidden Power Fighting
move 3: Explosion
move 4: Hypnosis
item: Focus Sash
ability: Unburden
nature: Mild
ivs: 2 HP / 2 Def / 30 SpA / 2 SpD / 30 Spe
evs: 108 Atk / 252 SpA / 148 Spe

[SET COMMENTS]

<p>Drifblim makes a great lead: its objective is to take two of the opponent's Pokemon out of the match (provided Hypnosis hits) and scout the opponent's team by forcing switches. The strategy behind this set is to play aggressively and attack or put something to sleep while surviving a normally fatal hit. Losing Focus Sash activates Unburden and lets Drifblim reach a Speed stat of 464, outspeeding Timid Choice Scarf Rotom, who is almost certainly the fastest Pokemon you will face in UU. Many common leads can unwittingly activate Drifblim's Focus Sash by dealing 100% damage, at which point Drifblim can attack freely, put something to sleep, and Explode when it's in danger of fainting.</p>

<p>This set has the surprise factor on its side, as most people expect Drifblim to create bulky Substitutes and Baton Pass them. Drifblim fares very well against many common leads in the UU metagame, although Hypnosis is a high-risk, high-reward move. However, Drifblim will often get two chances to use Hypnosis if it needs to, thanks to Focus Sash and its ability, Unburden.</p>

[ADDITIONAL COMMENTS]

<p>Drifblim's defensive IVs are as low as possible to increase the chance of Focus Sash being broken, while still allowing it to retain a 70 Base Power Hidden Power Fighting. Below are examples of common leads that will activate Unburden.</p>

<ul class=”damage_calculation”>
<li>252 Atk Adamant Arcanine Flare Blitz vs. Drifblim: 128.9% - 151.7%</li>
<li>252 SpA Timid Life Orb Moltres Fire Blast vs. Drifblim: 123.3% - 145.1%</li>
<li>Any Rhyperior Stone Edge vs. Drifblim: 100+%</li>
<li>48 SpA Hasty Electrode Thunder vs. Drifblim: 113.6% - 134%</li>
<li>252 SpA Modest Mesprit Ice Beam vs. Drifblim: 97.6% - 115%%</li>
<li>252 Atk Brave Life Orb Cloyster Rock Blast vs. Drifblim: 213.6% - 252.4%</li>
<li>252 Atk Adamant Kabutops Stone Edge vs. Drifblim: 221.4% - 260.7%</li>
<li>252 Atk Adamant Pinsir Stone Edge vs. Drifblim: 156.8% - 184.5%</li>
</ul>

<p>As far as team options go, they are relatively nonspecific for this set. However, there are a few key situations in which Drifblim will need some assistance. Leads such as Ambipom, Kabutops, and Cloyster pose threats due to their ability to either 2HKO Drifblim without activating Unburden or finish Drifblim off with a priority attack after activating Unburden. This leaves Drifblim with a mere 60% chance to beat these leads (factoring in Hypnosis's accuracy), or 0% if Ambipom Taunts while Drifblim uses Hypnosis. Although 60% might not sound bad, bear in mind that Drifblim will have accomplished absolutely nothing if Hypnosis misses, effectively making the match six-on-five from the beginning. Therefore, it is wise to have the appropriate Pokemon backing Drifblim up in order to take care of these threats. Rock- and Steel-types, though they need to be wary of Low Kick, handle Ambipom well, as does Pursuit Spiritomb. Toxicroak, Milotic, and Hitmontop can all take on Cloyster and Kabutops, but switching back to Drifblim may be necessary to avoid Cloyster's Explosion. Rapid Spin also makes for great support, as should a particular lead, such as Kabutops, force Drifblim to switch out, Drifblim will be able to switch back in later without losing its Focus Sash in the process.</p>

<p>Should this strategy work properly, the opponent will probably attempt to finish off Drifblim with a priority attack. Something that can abuse switch-ins such as Azumarill, Spiritomb, and Donphan would be a nice partner for Drifblim. Venusaur is a great example of a teammate that can scare off the aforementioned Pokemon while possibly sneaking in a Swords Dance or putting something to sleep in the process. Sweepers like Leafeon, Feraligatr, and Toxicroak can also use this opportunity to set up if they can avoid Spiritomb's Will-O-Wisp.</p>





FULL SET HERE (written months ago, needs updating)

I dunno about Hypnosis because it's obviously extremely unreliable, so maybe something like Baton Pass could go there to escape Spiritomb's Pursuit? Memento could work if you want something to set up late game (but that defeats the purpose of Explosion) Even Thunder Wave or WoW can work to status shit like Ambipom, Tomb, Kabutops, etc. Just some ideas because Hypnosis suckssssssssss

I'm not really feeling this set because it isn't very effective out of the lead position. It really doesn't beat the opposing leads in today's metagame. One ghost pulls this exceptionally better: Mismagius. It has the power to beat some Mesprit and has access to Taunt to shut down Stealth Rock from slower leads. This lead only attacks (only doesn't really hurt), hopes to grab a boost. The problem is, it lacks the berry to hurt stuff after the boost, making it difficult to hurt stuff. Smart players will always switch out.

Edit:

I forgot to mention that Explosion isn't really the main attraction of this set. The only thing you hope to lure is Chansey, but Chansey cannot do anything to it anyways. The common switch ins to this set are Registeel and Spiritomb -- both don't mind Explosion. Hypnosis seems like a solid move though, but we all know Platinum nerfed it, making it extremely unreliable. The lack of Speed is sadning as well, since it cannot induce common Stealth Rock users like mesprit and Uxie.

I agree with Franky. I've used both Mismagius and Drifblim as leads, and Missy simply does the job better. She's faster, hits harder with Shadow Ball and HP Fighting, and can still come in later to mess with your opponent. Unfortunately, Drifblim cannot do the same. It lacks the power and speed that Mismagius enjoys, and it doesn't have Taunt or Will-o-Wisp to mess up enemy Pokemon. Still, Drifblim does have advantages. Drifblim has both Explosion and Destiny Bond as suicide moves, whereas Missy only has Destiny Bond. Additionally, I have seen the rise of more Anti-Lead Pinsirs, which rock Mismagius with Earthquake (due to Mold Breaker) or X-Scissor. Drifblim is part Flying, so it resists X-Scissor and still avoids Earthquake. Finally, Drifblim can learn Defog which sweeps away Spikes and Toxic Spikes (but not Stealth Rock), as well as Reflect and Light Screen, which allows it to clear the way for other teammates. Unfortunately, leading is a role which Drifblim is not well suited for, so this set isn't very effective anymore.

I was actually about to post a set like this but didn't have time to finalize the outline (don't worry; I don't have "dibs" on it or anything haha). here it is though in case you want to see:


the main difference is the evs and I think the ones I have are much more useful than the ones in the old analysis. also, I think destiny bond should be deslashed with explosion - explosion is so useful to take out random pokemon who you cannot take out with another attack (thinking of milotic, venusaur, etc) if sleep clause is up.

I actually think hypnosis is one of the best parts of the set; since you have a sash, you usually get two turns to try to hit (three if you use it on the switch to something if their lead can't touch you, which is admittedly pretty rare) which is an 84% chance to hit at least once. if you manage to get a hypnosis in, offensive teams have a pretty hard time switching into your other attacks; this set isn't the best against offense but it usually gives you lots of scouting information and at least one pokemon dead with the possibility of a second damaged / slept as well.

against defensive teams, hypnosis usually takes out their main counter (especially things you don't want to explode against, such as registeel/spiritomb), which means you're free to boom on something else or whale away with shadow ball / hp fighting. when I used this set it wasn't unusual to do tons of scouting against defensive teams in addition to sleeping a pokemon and maybe even exploding on a second - trade a suicide lead for two disabled stall pokemon and lots of information. definitely worth it.

@whistle: pwned. Just kidding, thanks for posting that, I appreciate it. I'll use your spread and add your comments to the OP.

@the rest: Thanks for your comments. I obviously agree that Hypnosis is shaky at best, but like whistle said, it actually does make for a great addition to the set since you're not screwed if it misses and it's not as if it's the focus of the set like Butterfree or something.

Still not feeling the set since it really only aims to sleep induce stuff. This set is the similar vein as having Hypnosis Milotic: sleep inducing your common switch-ins (Venusaur). The fact is, Hypnosis sucks and its extremely unreliable. But still, I trust whistle's judgment on the set; probably hit Hypnosis consistently in his testing experience. If this were to be approved, I'd like to see mentions of Alakazam as a potential partner. If luring in Spiritomb and Registeel is the main attraction of this set, Alakazam can set up either Substitute or Calm Mind and begin to sweep easier. The best this set can do is lure early in the game, so you might as well add partners that benefit from this.

As far as leads go, I found Mismagius a better choice; however, Explosion, Hypnosis, and Unburden do their part in differentiating Drifblim, and Mismagius could probably be a decent teammate, seeing as they have similar, if not identical, counters. Also was able to lure in Chansey and Explode on one occasion after it was revealed that the set lacked Substitute. More aware opponents will probably expect Explosion, though, but I thought I'd note that.

QC Approved 1/2

whistle edit cause I can: seconding the idea that you should mention teammates who have counters that Drifblim lures. and QC Approved 2/2; moving to UU.

Thanks guys, I'll get to work on this tonight. Feel free to post with any suggestions for comment material.

Bump. Finished writing the set, comments/grammar checks?

Ever since my last post on this thread, I have decided that Drifblim does have effectiveness as a lead, and I have made some comments based on my experiences. I have used my own lead Drifblim, and two attacks that I found to be useful were Thunderbolt and Sucker Punch. I would suggest putting these as options in Additional Comments. Thunderbolt severely hurts leads such as Kabutops, Omastar, and LO Anti-Lead Cloysters, all of which Drifblim usually have problems with. Personally, the only lead that I've found HP Fighting useful against has been Ambipom. Sucker Punch is a good priority move which Drifblim can use well, thanks to its decent Attack, and allows it to surprise priority users that try to revenge-kill Drifblim. Again, my suggestion is putting these moves in Additional Comments. However, if you decide that you like these ideas and want to test them, I would recommend slashing Thunderbolt over HP Fighting.
I also have a couple more comments, which I will say when I have time later today.

EDIT: Here are my comments as promised. First, putting in Brave Cloyster's Rock Blast in the calcs isn't a good way to show how Drifblim gets its Focus Sash broken by a lead's move, as Rock Blast hits multiple times, which will break through Focus Sash and kill Drifblim. Also, TrickScarf leads are horrible matchups against Drifblim, as it renders Unburden useless and forces Drifblim to switch out (unless Hypnosis misses, and even then opponents will probably switch in a Pokemon that can take Hypnosis). Finally, Spiritomb is also a good counter to Drifblim, with the Pure Attacker Lead 2HKOing with Shadow Sneak, which doesn't seem pretty considering Hypnosis' 60% accuracy. I hope my comments helped!

Flashrider57 said:

Thunderbolt severely hurts leads such as Kabutops, Omastar, and LO Anti-Lead Cloysters, all of which Drifblim usually have problems with.

Click to expand...

You still lose to 72 HP Kabutops leads, Cloysters (which you mentioned losing to below >.> ), and you still want to sleep Omastar. I don't see a whole lot of merit in it. HP Fight works against non-lead pokemon too, giving perfect coverage.

Sucker Punch is a good priority move which Drifblim can use well, thanks to its decent Attack, and allows it to surprise priority users that try to revenge-kill Drifblim.

Click to expand...

Putting this over what? Drifblim will be doing minuscule damage with Sucker Punch for the most part as far as i can tell.

EDIT: Here are my comments as promised. First, putting in Brave Cloyster's Rock Blast in the calcs isn't a good way to show how Drifblim gets its Focus Sash broken by a lead's move, as Rock Blast hits multiple times, which will break through Focus Sash and kill Drifblim. Also, TrickScarf leads are horrible matchups against Drifblim, as it renders Unburden useless and forces Drifblim to switch out (unless Hypnosis misses, and even then opponents will probably switch in a Pokemon that can take Hypnosis).

Click to expand...

Did Shoddy Battle's glitch get fixed? I thought it left it with 1 HP. And I kinda have mixed feelings about TrickScarf leads. Its not like Drifblim can't do anything with a scarf.

Finally, Spiritomb is also a good counter to Drifblim, with the Pure Attacker Lead 2HKOing with Shadow Sneak, which doesn't seem pretty considering Hypnosis' 60% accuracy.

Click to expand...

True, I should mention it.

I hope my comments helped!

Click to expand...

Thanks :)

For Thunderbolt and Sucker Punch, I was mainly suggesting that you put them in additional options, as they are moves that Drifblim can use. You can ignore Sucker Punch, if you want, but I will state the advantages that Thunderbolt has:
Thunderbolt inflicts more damage on Kabutops and Cloyster, two leads that you have mentioned having trouble with, than HP Fighting. Kabutops will take a ton of damage, it usually carries Lum Berry, making Hypnosis useless, and will set up Stealth Rock anyway. As for Cloyster, the LO version is almost always OHKOed by Thunderbolt(98.9% - 116.7%), and the Utility version takes 72.4% - 85.5% from it. Additionally, it discourages them from staying in, allowing you to Hypnosis an enemy on the switch. Thunderbolt also has some uses against other Pokemon as well. This may just be me, but I have noticed that many Milotics have switched in against Lead Drifblims, hoping to end Drifblim's life prematurely. If Drifblim has already put another Pokemon to sleep, it's in trouble, as Shadow Ball+Explosion never kills it, even if you don't factor in Lefties healing. With Thunderbolt+Explosion, though, Drifblim always kills off Milotic. Since Milotic is a great defensive Pokemon, having it gone paves the way for other Pokemon, such as DD Feraligatr, to sweep the opponent. Against Pokemon that are neutral to Fighting and Electric, Thunderbolt almost always wins. Finally, it allows you to put the IVs for Speed and Special Attack back at 31. I will agree that putting Thunderbolt over HP Fighting is trouble against Pokemon like sweepers such as Rhyperior and Aggron, but many people save these monsters for later in the battle. Also, the lack of HP Fighting means that Drifblim doesn't have a SE move against Registeel, but Registeel pretty much walls Drifblim anyway, because HP Fighting doesn't 4HKO it, even if you factor out Lefties healing. Still, I hope that I explained myself well, so it's easier to see the merits of Thunderbolt on Drifblim.

Okay well there are some flaws there, but I will give it a mention since it does have some merit.

Bumping for GP checks.

Grammar-Prose Check 1/2:
additions in bold
removals in red
comments in green

name: Hindenburg (UU Lead)
move 1: Shadow Ball
move 2: Hidden Power Fighting
move 3: Explosion
move 4: Hypnosis
item: Focus Sash
ability: Unburden
nature: Mild
ivs: 2 HP / 31 Atk / 2 Def / 30 SpA / 2 SpD / 30 Spe
evs: 108 Atk / 252 SpA / 148 Spe

<p>Drifblim makes a great lead, (remove comma) whose objective is to take two of the opponent's Pokemon out of the match (provided Hypnosis hits), (remove comma) and scout the opponent's team by forcing switches. The strategy behind this set is to play aggressively and attack or put something to sleep while surviving a normally fatal hit. Losing Focus Sash activates Unburden and lets Drifblim reach a Speed stat of 464, outspeeding Timid Choice Scarf Rotom, which is almost certainly the fastest Pokemon you will face in UU. As shown by the damage calculations below, Many common leads have the ability to unknowingly unwittingly activate Drifblim's Focus Sash by dealing 100% damage. At this point Drifblim you can attack freely, put something to sleep, and Explode when it's in danger you're in danger of fainting.</p>

<p>This set has the surprise factor on its side, as most people expect Drifblim to create bulky Substitutes and Baton Pass them. Drifblim fares fairs ["fares" and "fairs" are homonyms, but "fares" is the correct term here] very well against many common leads in the UU metagame, although Hypnosis is always a high-risk, high-reward move. However, The good news is that Drifblim will often get two chances to use Hypnosis if it needs to, thanks to its Focus Sash and its ability, Unburden.</p>

[ADDITIONAL COMMENTS]

<p>Drifblim's defensive IVs are as low as possible to increase the chance of Focus Sash being broken, while still allowing it to retain Hidden Power Fighting 70 so that Focus Sash can be broken as easily as possible while allowing it to retain Hidden Power Fighting 70. Below are examples of common leads that will activate Unburden.</p>

[damage calcs aren't supposed to have caps, meaning that even if the damage percentage is over 100, you should still write in the exact number. also, a more specific EV spread should be cited; instead of just saying "252", specify. 252 EVs in which stat?]
<ul class="damage_calculation"> [use normal quotes, not curly quotes]
<li>252 Adamant Arcanine Flare Blitz: 100%</li>
<li>252 Modest Moltres Fire Blast: 100%</li>
<li>Any Rhyperior Stone Edge: 100%</li>
<li>48 Hasty Electrode Thunder: 100%</li>
<li>252 Modest Mesprit Ice Beam: 100%</li>
<li>252 Brave Cloyster Rock Blast: 100%</li>
<li>252 Kabutops Stone Edge: 100%</li>
<li>252 Pinsir Stone Edge: 100%</li>
</ul>

<p>As far as Team Options go, they are relatively nonspecific for this set, as it is a lead. However, there are a few key situations in which Drifblim will need some assistance to perform its job better. Leads like Ambipom, Kabutops, and Cloyster pose threats due to their ability to either 2HKO Drifblim without activating Unburden or activating Unburden but finishing Drifblim it off with a priority attack. This leaves Drifblim with a mere just a 60% chance to beat these leads (factoring in Hypnosis's accuracy), or 0% if Ambipom Taunts while Drifblim uses you Hypnosis. Although 60% might not sound bad, bear in mind that Drifblim will have accomplished absolutely nothing if Hypnosis misses, effectively making the match six-on-five from the beginning. Therefore, the appropriate Pokemon should back Drifblim up to take care of these threats. Rock- and Steel-types handle Ambipom well, as does Pursuit Spiritomb, although Rock- and Steel-types the former needs to be wary weary [this is another homonym issue, "wary" is the correct word choice here. "weary" means tired] of Low Kick [correct grammar?]. Toxicroak, Milotic, and Hitmontop can all take on Cloyster and Kabutops, but prediction in the form of a switch back to Drifblim may be necessary to avoid Cloyster's Explosion. Rapid Spin also makes for great support, as it allows Drifblim to switch out freely if it does not like the looks of the opposing lead (especially Kabutops especially). It can then switch back in later in the match without losing its Focus Sash in the process.</p>

<p>Should this strategy work properly, the opponent will probably likely attempt to finish off Drifblim with a priority attack. Something that can abuse switch-ins like Azumarill, Spiritomb, and Donphan would be a nice partner for followup act to Drifblim. Venusaur is a great example of a teammate that can scare off the aforementioned Pokemon and possibly sneak in a Swords Dance or put something to sleep in the process. Sweepers like Leafeon, Feraligatr, and Toxicroak can also use this opportunity to set up if they can defend themselves against Spiritomb's Will-O-Wisp Will-o-Wisp.</p>

Click to expand...

Nice analysis. Looks like an interesting set, I'll have to try it out. Anyway, this was relatively well-written, but I found a few recurring issues I'd like to address below. I also omitted some unnecessary words and phrases and tried to make the analysis a bit more concise. Once my changes are implemented, I'll stamp this; for now, I'm withholding my stamp.

1) You have a tendency to misuse the pronoun you. For example:

or 0% if Ambipom Taunts while you use Hypnosis

Click to expand...

or 0% if Ambipom Taunts while Drifblim uses Hypnosis

Click to expand...

Here, the second example is correct. You, the Drifblim user, are not using Hypnosis. Drifblim is using Hypnosis. Another example:

At this point, you can attack freely, put something to sleep, and Explode when you're in danger of fainting.

Click to expand...

At this point, Drifblim can attack freely, put something to sleep, and Explode when it's in danger of fainting.

Click to expand...

Once again, the second example is correct. You cannot attack freely, and you are not in danger of fainting. Drifblim can attack freely, and poor Drifblim is in danger of fainting.

2) Watch out for homonyms (homonym: two words that sound the same but are spelled differently and have completely different meanings)! You mixed up a few. For example, you said fairs instead of fares (fairs is not a legitimate verb) and weary instead of wary (weary means tired or exhausted; you meant wary, which means alert or careful).

3) Less importantly, it's Will-O-Wisp, not Will-o-Wisp or Will-o-wisp.

@Above point 1 - don't agree. You may be the Drifblim user and not the one actually using Hypnosis, but what is meant is clear and there are plenty of similar expressions, such as "Roger Federer hit a brilliant winner yesterday". Roger Federer didn't actually hit the ball. His racquet did. To be even more pedantic we can say Roger Federer's racquet didn't actually hit the ball, because the atoms of the ball didn't actually come into contact with the racquet (all operated on by long-range inter-atomic forces), etc.

Anyway here's my take:

Bold for replace, insert, etc
Red for delete
Blue for problematic / comments

name: Hindenburg (UU Lead)
move 1: Shadow Ball
move 2: Hidden Power Fighting
move 3: Explosion
move 4: Hypnosis
item: Focus Sash
ability: Unburden
nature: Mild
ivs: 2 HP / 31 Atk / 2 Def / 30 SpA / 2 SpD / 30 Spe
evs: 108 Atk / 252 SpA / 148 Spe

<p>Drifblim makes a great lead (punctuation) whose objective is to take two of the opponent's Pokemon out of the match (provided Hypnosis hits) (punctuation) and scout the opponent's team by forcing switches. The strategy behind this set is to play aggressively and attack or put something to sleep while surviving a normally fatal hit. Losing Focus Sash activates Unburden and lets Drifblim reach a Speed stat of 464, outspeeding Timid Choice Scarf Rotom, which is generally the fastest Pokemon you will face in UU. As shown by the damage calculations below, many common leads can unwittingly activate Drifblim's Focus Sash by dealing 100% damage. At this point you can attack freely, put something to sleep, and Explode when you're in danger of fainting.</p>

<p>This set has the surprise factor on its side, as most people expect Drifblim to create bulky Substitutes and Baton Pass them. Drifblim fares very well against many common leads in the UU metagame, although Hypnosis is always (either delete "always", or use "as always" instead a high-risk, high-reward move. The good news is that Drifblim will often get two chances to use Hypnosis if it needs to, thanks to Focus Sash and Unburden.</p>

[ADDITIONAL COMMENTS]

<p>Drifblim's defensive IVs are as low as possible so that Focus Sash can be activated as easily as possible while retaining a base power 70 Hidden Power Fighting. Below are examples of common leads that will activate Unburden.</p>

<ul class=”damage_calculation”>
<li>252 Adamant Arcanine Flare Blitz: 100%</li>
<li>252 Modest Moltres Fire Blast: 100%</li>
<li>Any Rhyperior Stone Edge: 100%</li>
<li>48 Hasty Electrode Thunder: 100%</li>
<li>252 Modest Mesprit Ice Beam: 100%</li>
<li>252 Brave Cloyster Rock Blast: 100%</li>
<li>252 Kabutops Stone Edge: 100%</li>
<li>252 Pinsir Stone Edge: 100%</li>
</ul>

<p>As far as Team Options go, they are relatively unimportant for this set (punctuation) as it is a lead. However, there are a few key situations in which Drifblim will need some assistance to perform its job better. Leads like Ambipom, Kabutops, and Cloyster can either 2HKO Drifblim without activating Unburden (Lead Cloyster isn't likely to be faster than Drifblim, though) or activate Unburden but finish it off with a priority attack. This leaves Drifblim with just a 60% chance to beat these leads (Hypnosis' accuracy), or 0% if Ambipom Taunts its Hypnosis. Although 60% might not sound bad, bear in mind that Drifblim will have accomplished absolutely nothing if Hypnosis misses, effectively making the match six-on-five from the beginning. Therefore, it is wise to have the appropriate Pokemon should back Drifblim up to take care of these threats. Rock- and Steel-types handle Ambipom well, as does Pursuit Spiritomb, although the former two need to be wary of Low Kick [correct grammar?]. Toxicroak, Milotic, and Hitmontop can all take on Cloyster and Kabutops, but it may be necessary to predict Cloyster's Explosion and switch back to Drifblim. Rapid Spin also makes for great support, as it allows Drifblim to switch out freely if it does not like the looks of the opposing lead (especially Kabutops). It can then switch back in later in the match with an intact Focus Sash.</p>

<p>Should this strategy work properly, the opponent will likely attempt to finish off Drifblim with a priority attack. Something that can abuse switch-ins like Azumarill, Spiritomb, and Donphan would be a nice follow-up act to Drifblim. Venusaur is a great example of a teammate that can scare off the aforementioned Pokemon and possibly sneak in a Swords Dance or put something to sleep in the process (if the strategy works properly, won't Sleep Clause be activated?). Sweepers like Leafeon, Feraligatr, and Toxicroak can also use this opportunity to set up if they can defend themselves against Spiritomb's Will-O-Wisp.</p>

Click to expand...

PS: I strongly suspect the correct word is "unwittingly", not "unknowingly". Doing something unknowingly means doing something without actually knowing it, while doing something unwittingly means doing something accidentally. If Kabutops Stone Edges Drifblim, it ought to know what it is doing - it just wasn't aware at the time that it would trigger Unburden in the process.

Made those changes, thanks guys.

Banedon said:

@Above point 1 - don't agree. You may be the Drifblim user and not the one actually using Hypnosis, but what is meant is clear and there are plenty of similar expressions, such as "Roger Federer hit a brilliant winner yesterday". Roger Federer didn't actually hit the ball. His racquet did. To be even more pedantic we can say Roger Federer's racquet didn't actually hit the ball, because the atoms of the ball didn't actually come into contact with the racquet (all operated on by long-range inter-atomic forces), etc.

Click to expand...

This is wrong. Sure, you can abstract it further and further, but the point is that this website's convention is that "you" always refers to the battler. If you mean to refer to the Pokemon you cannot use the pronoun "you". It's that simple.

Also, it is against the rules to GP onto another person's GP check. If you have comments and critique about the writeup, wait until the author has implemented the previous person's check before making your own. Also, please know that our GP members know the conventions very well. Just because you disagree with them doesn't mean you should confuse the author by changing them in your own grammar checks.

For clarity's sake, I agreed with Banedon's assessment of "unwittingly", but that's the only time I let his edit override Draco Zephyr's. The changes I used took from his edit were all word choice that DZ did not cover.

removals in red
additions in blue
comment in bold

just a few prose issues, grammar is spot on. shouldn't there be [SET] and [SET COMMENTS] tags in here?
anyhow, great writeup diesel.
GP CHECK 2/2

Made changes. Should be ready for upload.

if this is done, diesel, i suggest you change the prefix to "done", as it makes it easier for the mods to notice your thread.

uploaded