So in between runs of Triples loveliness I amassed a streak of 1,269 in singles:
Don't mind the omega ruby milk chocolate truffle and the alpha sapphire dark chocolate truffle, they'll be consumed when the time is right.
Team, as a reminder:
Kangaskhan (F) @ Kangaskhanite ** Melbourne: Return/Power-Up Punch/Sucker Punch/Earthquake, Adamant, Scrappy -> Parental Bond, 252Atk/4SpD/252Spe
Suicune @ Leftovers ** Holy Water: Scald/Icy Wind/Calm Mind/Rest, Bold, Pressure, 196HP/252Def/60Spe
Gliscor (F) @ Toxic Orb ** pH Balance: Earthquake/Toxic/Substitute/Protect, Careful, Poison Heal, 236HP/4Atk/12Def/252SpD/4Spe
But a funny thing happened when I was driving to Best Buy on Sunday September 14 (coincidentally to purchase that TV you see in the above pic):
Battle 1,268: #RP7W-WWWW-WWWA-GBCH
I was met with some random Hex Maniac who led with Drifblim. Not a threat by any means—Drifblim4 can only threaten me with TB paralysis (the move itself does like 22%) or long Hypnosis-induced sleep (during which I can't be paralyzed) along with Aftermath. I can't Mega Evolve because I want to keep Scrappy in effect. Can only get to +1 but that doesn't really matter, certainty not against a Medicham that's OHKOed by even +0 Return.
What does matter is Medicham using HJK on Kanga right after I Mega Evolve and select Return.
Bewildered (but not nearly enough to lose control of my car!), I realized I'd been tricked into thinking this was a regular Hex Maniac. In actuality, I had never been threatened by or tipped off about a Hex Maniac that could use Set 3 pokes, believe it or not. Never had any reason to distinguish them from each other like Veterans or Ace Trainers, with this team or Suizorus, as Haxorus and Kanga's opening gambits against Hex Maniacs are virtually undisturbed.
Anyway, I knew it was the 145 speed Jolly Medicham that outspeeds Kanga pre-ME (142). Kanga always outspeeds and OHKOs lead Medicham4, which is why I didn't Sucker Punch, a move that would have won me this battle guaranteed as at +1 it does 102% min:
+1 252+ Atk Parental Bond Mega Kangaskhan Sucker Punch vs. 0 HP / 0 Def Medicham: 138-163 (102.2 - 120.7%) -- guaranteed OHKO
(138, 139, 141, 142, 145, 147, 148, 150, 151, 153, 154, 156, 157, 159, 160, 163)
Sad, but whatever. Sad in that if I had any doubt it was Medicham4, I should have used Sucker Punch, but I'm weirdly principled in that I'm not going to use a move I don't need to. Using Sucker Punch on Medicham4 implies that I need Sucker Punch to kill it, and I "don't want the game thinking I don't totally have it owned with Return". Like, using Sucker Punch is a sign of weakness, basically. Cute principles, huh?
Anyway, my first instinct was to switchstall Medicham out of Ice Punch PP, and after realizing that going to Suicune and having it miss Icy Wind was likely a losing proposition:
252 Atk Pure Power Medicham High Jump Kick vs. 200 HP / 252+ Def Suicune: 91-108 (45.5 - 54%) -- 91% chance to 2HKO after sandstorm damage
(91, 91, 93, 94, 96, 96, 97, 99, 99, 100, 102, 103, 103, 105, 106, 108)
So I went to Gliscor first. As it turns out, the freeze it immediately incurred on Suicune proved to be crucial, as I wanted to be able to use Icy Wind immediately, not having to use Scald first. Perhaps this meant that I should have chanced Icy Wind upfront, since Suicune was going to have to take five Ice Punches anyway if my strategy was to switchstall (which would result in a freeze 41% of the time since Suicune would have to take five of them after Pressure and Gliscor Protects), but missing Icy Wind would have all but guaranteed a loss.
After the Turn 5 freeze, I switchstalled, throwing Protect in there after every Gliscor switch in. On turn 17, I switched my frozen Suicune into Medicham's final Ice Punch (and get back to 163HP with Lefties), meaning that on Turn 20 Gliscor would have the option of staying in after switching in and Protecting. Medicham used HJK on Turn 18, and again on Turn 19 as I protected, halving Cham's HP while Gliscor's went up to 95. The second HJK was interesting for a number of reasons:
1) ZH is stronger
2) Cune may have to switch into an HJK if Cham is opting to use HJK "for no reason"
3) Cham is now in kill range of EQ + Scald
My point was going to be that switching in Cune would have been very risky, and that Double Protecting could possibly kill Cham for me, but actually, calcing it now, this is ultra sad:
4 Atk Gliscor Earthquake vs. 0 HP / 0 Def Medicham: 69-82 (51.1 - 60.7%) -- guaranteed 2HKO
(69, 70, 70, 72, 72, 73, 75, 75, 76, 76, 78, 78, 79, 79, 81, 82)
This oversight is a direct consequence of...I don't even know, lol. Probably "not enough fucks given", because by this time I was parked and had access to the Showdown calculator on my phone, but I just felt there was no way Gliscor did 50% to Medicham here with EQ. I also strongly felt that Cham would use HJK again, and knew that I wouldn't die even if the Protect coinflip didn't go my way. So of my five options, I knew I couldn't switch to Suicune, and Subbing or using Toxic were even worse ideas. I knew I couldn't *lose* if Protect failed cause I'd just use it again then switch Suicune into a likely ZH, but that's still bad form. So it used ZH as Protect failed on Turn 20 (my Double Protect success rate is like 20%), and Cham used ZH to take Gliscor to 17HP, which went back up to 61HP after I Protected worry-free (well, immediate–worry-free, since there's a chance I actually lose for the first time lol). Switched Cune into ZH, was at 117 HP after Lefties.
So of course it CHed Cune with HJK (its penultimate one, not that it mattered too much). In hindsight the CH only 35% mattered because I needed to CH or Burn with my freeze-thawing Scald to change how the rest of the battle played out. After Protecting on Turn 24 I EQed, taking a...Bullet Punch. Weird because it had ZH and HJK PP left, and this would give me a bit of a chance to beat poke 3 if I could just get a Toxic in. Poke 3 turned out to be Slowbro, which could either be:
3 | Slowbro | Bold | Leftovers | Psychic | Surf | Slack Off | Amnesia | HP/Def
4 | Slowbro | Quiet | Leftovers | Psychic | Surf | Blizzard | Trick Room | HP/Def
Essentially identical for my purposes. I really didn't want to be naked and have it use Trick Room if it happened to be Slowbro4, so I used Sub. Probably a mistake here too, since I'm in KO range of Blizzard if it IS Slowbro 4, and I'm in dire need of HP and have a drawback-free Protect at my disposal. I do Sub on this Turn 26 , and it uses Surf, meaning it's probably Slowbro3 but I can't be too sure. I use the only move I can in Protect, hoping it doesn't TR...and it uses Surf again. More confident that it's Slowbro3, I'm a tad more hopeful, but I'm also fully aware of how much Sub/Protect PP I have. I Protect on Turn 31 as it Surfs, and am back at 75 HP, and I close my DS to think of whether I'll have any Sub/Protect PP left when I'm done stalling. I have four Protect PP left and 13 Subs, so...maybe, but this is looking bad. I reopen my DS, and pick Protect by mistake because it was pretty bright and I couldn't see the last move I chose. Obviously that little misclick shouldn't be rewarded, and it fails, and my streak is washed away by a final Surf.
At the time, I didn't know how big the Turn 20 "not EQing" mistake was, or realize that it didn't matter that much that Medicham CHed Cune with HJK (it did have 25% luck on its side to be both Pure Power and Medicham3, of course). I wanted to know if I would have won despite all this horseshit if I hadn't misclicked. Here's my notes.
so if i hadnt misclicked, i have four protect pp left and 13 sub pp
32. sub #4/surf #7
33. protect #13/surf #8 (74 hp)
34. sub #5/surf #9
35. protect #14/surf #10 (73 hp)
36. sub #5/surf #11
37. protect #14/surf #12 (72 hp)
38. sub #6/surf #13
39. protect #15/surf #14 (71 hp)
40. sub #7/surf #15
41. protect #16/surf #15 (0pp, 70hp)
i prob still die because even if i hit with toxic slowbro leaves me with 38-47 hp and the next psychic prob kills. if i had ONE more protect pp i would probably have won without the misclick lol
0 SpA Slowbro Psychic vs. 236 HP / 252+ SpD Gliscor: 45-54 (25 - 30%) -- possible 5HKO after Poison Heal
(45, 45, 46, 46, 48, 48, 48, 49, 49, 49, 51, 51, 51, 52, 52, 54)
One more Protect PP. As in, why did you Double Protect on Medicham on Turn 20 lol. I would still have needed at least 2 more Protect PP to get past Slowbro with Toxic because of Leftovers, so I guess I don't feel too bad about it.
-----
So bad hax and questionable play abound, the saddest part still being "just use Sucker Punch". Anyway, in my opinion, my reluctance to share the date of my loss with you all would ordinarily have been irresponsible for would-be chasers of the Singles crown, and an abuse of the exceptional
* by my streak's number. I too would take considerable issue with this...if I hadn't made it back up to exactly 800 in less than a week. Some of you may disagree with this line of thinking, and I don't blame you. I actually almost posted my true feelings when I got back to 800 (with proof pics of 1,267 and 800*), which would have been something along the lines of "ok i lost at 1,268 last week but i'm back at 800,
StarKO or
VaporeonIce or whoever, if you're around there and want to take a shot at 1,268 you're welcome to but my loss really ticked me off and i can assure you that 1,267 may as well be a moving target." I can't be any more candid than that—if I had actually posted, it would have supremely motivated me out of pride to get to 1,267 even faster than I did. I hope you all can see and understand that!
At the end of the day, I can't prove that I didn't lose a bunch of times at 300 and 700 and 450 or whatever (or can't prove it, as I didn't take a timestamped picture of when I got to 800). I'm pretty sure I have two separate pictures of "Battle 1,001! Are you ready?" but those doesn't really prove anything (I could still have lost at 300 a bunch of times).
I like to think I would have posted about the ridiculous hax I would have encountered at the Battle 300s and 700s and 450s that I would be covering up by "pretending" I really am essentially over 2600-0 with this team. I really do. I probably *would have* if the battles had been sufficiently outlandish, feeling that you all would understand my plight in trying to get back to 1,268. There was simply no such plight, though, because this team is broken. I mean, who loses at 1,268 and just runs it back up to 800 in a week then stops to entertain a triples team he'd been theorymonning since around battle 500, the point where he realized that "lol, the maison is easy and this team is broken"? Someone with a broken team, that's who.
Anyway, kind of like my comment about recognition, perhaps I am assuming that more of you guys would care about the prospect of a bunch of covered up losses en route to surpassing a record that wasn't as "ongoing" as my silence would have had you believe than actually do care. When I got back to 800, I actually let out a chuckle irl. That chuckle was half miffed cockiness ("look how fast I made it back to 800, this is like fifth place already, fuck you Anastasia, that was a shitty fluke") and half incredulity ("sheesh, I genuinely can't believe how easy it was for this team to just waltz back up to 800, it's almost embarrassing how broken this team is").
So the final tally by my name should read 1,267 and an asterisk at 1,268, if you don't feel I've abused that privilege, lol.
