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Beedrill (Singles) [QC: 3/3] [GP: 2/2]

You skipped over a couple things I mentioned to add.

Firstly, when you write about the moves, you should talk about them in the order they're slashed. So don't start talking about knock off before you mention Drill Run.

Poison Jab is another powerful STAB move that hits several important types for super-effective damage.
Im sorry but this couldnt be more wrong. Poison only hits two types super effective. Not several. And one of those two is already hit SE by bug. Poison Jab hits Fairy for super-effective damage, that's the only important thing. It also hits some of bugs resistances neutrally, like fire and flying, which is good but it definitely doesnt hit them super effectively.

Try not to lose offensive momentum, because that's what Beedrill does best.
Maybe it's just me, but this sentence sounds weird. It seems like you're saying beedrill is best at losing offensive momentum. I understand what you're trying to say though i think, so no big deal. Im not the best with sentence structures so GP can probably fix this a lot better than I ever can but im just bringing it to atteniton, maybe you can try to make it better before GP.


Before i mentioned adding stealth rock support to team options and still think it should be implemented.
I'll go back to it for ease:
Mention rocks in team options. The chip damage is cool alongside beedrill's power and it hits talon for a solid 50% so that's always great. And with beedrill, you can sometimes abuse u-turn+volt switch shit so having rocks punishes the switches another extra bit while you gain momentum as well, it's a solid combination. Plus most rock setters are actually pretty good against talonflame. Garchomp with skin damage/rock tomb, helmet landorus-t deals with a lot of physical mons that scare beedrill and it has a slow u-turn which is amazing with beedrill, rocky helmet mamo w/ toxic while uncommon can annoy talon, helmet hippo(especially with rock tomb) takes on talon too.

I still think substitute should be added to other options, it's niche but the oo's are pretty limited and meh right now. Again, going back to what i said before:
Mention Substitute in other options. It only gets like 2.something usage but it's used more than some other things in OO right now. It can help against predicted twave/will-o. And if you're behind a sub, some mons that normally could revenge kill can't afford to cause you can probably just ko them, most importantly talon when rocks are up.

Mention that all of beedrills moves make contact when you talk about recoil damage in C&C, this is kind of important cause it means beedrill really doesnt have any counterplay against rocky helmet users.

When you talk about salamence in C&C, mention intimidate.


Once all that's done, lemme know and i'll give you a third check.
 
You skipped over a couple things I mentioned to add.

Firstly, when you write about the moves, you should talk about them in the order they're slashed. So don't start talking about knock off before you mention Drill Run.


Im sorry but this couldnt be more wrong. Poison only hits two types super effective. Not several. And one of those two is already hit SE by bug. Poison Jab hits Fairy for super-effective damage, that's the only important thing. It also hits some of bugs resistances neutrally, like fire and flying, which is good but it definitely doesnt hit them super effectively.


Maybe it's just me, but this sentence sounds weird. It seems like you're saying beedrill is best at losing offensive momentum. I understand what you're trying to say though i think, so no big deal. Im not the best with sentence structures so GP can probably fix this a lot better than I ever can but im just bringing it to atteniton, maybe you can try to make it better before GP.


Before i mentioned adding stealth rock support to team options and still think it should be implemented.
I'll go back to it for ease:


I still think substitute should be added to other options, it's niche but the oo's are pretty limited and meh right now. Again, going back to what i said before:


Mention that all of beedrills moves make contact when you talk about recoil damage in C&C, this is kind of important cause it means beedrill really doesnt have any counterplay against rocky helmet users.

When you talk about salamence in C&C, mention intimidate.


Once all that's done, lemme know and i'll give you a third check.
All done. I mentioned how Poison Jab nets some OHKOs on important Fairies like Sylveon.

That sentence structure was a little weird, indeed. Fixed.

Elaboration was done on Salamence and recoil damage. Should I reorder my sentences in Salamence's section?

Substitute is really not a good move for Beedrill imo, but whatever. If it's an option it's an option. Added to OO.

I think we're good.
 
YUS *PLAYS TRIUMPHANT FANFARE IN CAPS*

So glad I finally got this done. Grammar-Prose and then we gud, if my memory serves me.

EDIT: I just realized I have absolutely no clue as to how to get a GP check.
 
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Previously ridiculed as a garbage Pokemon, Beedrill's Mega Evolution turns it into a beast! While still relatively uncommon in Battle Spot, Mega Beedrill is an offensive powerhouse. Its strength lies in its obscene Attack and Speed stat,(AC) which allows it to that can outspeed many common threats, and its great ability Adaptability, which doubles the power of its STAB moves. It also has a very strong U-turn, turning it into a powerful scout. Unfortunately, it can't reliably switch into a lot of things,(RC) because of its low bulk and bad defensive typing. Entry hazards, Stealth Rocks in particular, give it a huge problem, as they limit the number of times it can switch in. The big problem is that Mega Beedrill can't stand up to a lot of its defensive checks without a lot of team support, so keep that in mind when building around it.

[SET]

name: Glass Cannon
move 1: U-turn
move 2: Poison Jab
move 3: Protect / Swords Dance
move 4: Drill Run / Knock Off
ability: Swarm
item: Beedrillite
nature: Jolly
evs: 228 Atk / 36 Def / 244 Spe

[SET COMMENTS]

Moves
========

U-turn is Beedrill's main STAB move. It hits like a truck and allows Beedrill to swap switch out of almost anything that threatens it. Poison Jab is another powerful STAB move that hits several (I would use "most" here but it's kind of subjective) Fairies for super-effective damage. Protect allows Beedrill to safely Mega Evolve so it can get boost its Speed safely boosted. It can also scout for moves that threaten it. However, it can be dropped for Swords Dance to turn Beedrill into an amazing wallbreaker. Drill Run deals with Steel-(AH)types that can wall Beedrill, such as Heatran or and Klefki. Knock Off hits Ghost types for super-(RH)effective damage and cripples Pokemon that rely on their item, such as Chansey and Porygon2.

Set Details
========

36 Def EVs allow it to take a hit from important priority hits, like such as Adamant Mega Kangaskhan's Sucker Punch or and Choice Band Azumarill's Aqua Jet. 244 Spe EVs and a Jolly Nature allow it to outspeed Adamant Choice Scarf Landorus-T, Mega Gengar, and the like. The rest of its EVs are put into Attack so that it hits as hard as possible.

Usage Tips
========

Mega Beedrill can be used as a scout lead; Protect can scout the opponent's move and allow Beedrill to Mega Evolve safely unless the extra Speed isn't necessary, then in which case you should U-turn out or KO it. Exercise caution when you know the opponent will have a priority move; if you know it'll KO you, hard switch into something that can absorb that hit. Maintaining offensive momentum is imperative, as that's what Beedrill does best. Don't swap into switch in Beedrill on a hit that it doesn't resist; instead wait for a free switch or Volt Switch/ or U-turn into it safely.

Team Options
========

Powerful wallbreakers such as Choice Specs Hydreigon or Belly Drum Azumarill can aid Mega Beedrill in its sweep, getting rid of important checks like Mega Slowbro or and Ferrothorn. Anything that can make use of a Lum Berry is a great teammate because Beedrill has a hard time dealing with paralysis, burn, and sleep. One good user of Lum Berry is Garchomp. Garchomp can deal with some of Beedrill's checks, like such as Talonflame. Anything with Volt Switch forms a great core with Beedrill. Rotom-W in particular stands out,(RC) because of how physically bulky it is. They can both swap out of their checks repeatedly. Magnezone is also a good partner, because of how it can trap Steel types and crush them. Not only that, but it can stand up to Sheer Cold Suicune, a common threat in the metagame. Beedrill can run Drill Run to deal with Heatran, so that it doesn't pose an issue to Magnezone. Both of these Pokemon deal with Talonflame, an important check to Beedrill. While Though Beedrill is hyper-offensive in nature, pairing it with a defensive Pokemon that can cover its weaknesses might be beneficial; Suicune is a good example, as it can deal with Fire-(AH) and Ice-types. Hazard support helps Beedrill wear down some of its checks. Notable users include Landorus-T and Hippowdon.

[STRATEGY COMMENTS]

Other Options
========

Fell Stinger could get boosts, but it’s extremely hard to net kills with it. Protect or Swords Dance could be dropped for an all-out attacking set, but only if you plan to bring it in exclusively against slower threats or opponents that are paralyzed or asleep. Substitute lowers Beedrill's health, but it can be used to predict a status move. It also makes it hard to revenge-(RH)kill Beedrill. X-Scissor hits a tad bit harder than U-turn, but then you lose offensive momentum by not being able to swap out. An Adamant nature is sometimes used to gain extra base Attack, but Beedrill needs that Speed to deal with some of its checks, such as Mega Gengar, Adamant Choice Scarf Landorus-T, and +1 Mega Gyarados or +1 Mega Tyranitar.

Checks and Counters
========

**Priority Users/Scarf Users**: These Pokemon can easily swap switch into Beedrill and revenge kill it. Talonflame in particular stands out, because Brave Bird rips it in half.

**Physically Defensive Pokemon**: Beedrill can’t OHKO everything, so anything that can survive a hit from it can easily check it; such as Hippowdon or Ferrothorn.

**Blaziken**: Blaziken can collect Speed boosts and become faster than Beedrill and hit it with a powerful Fire-type move.

**Salamence**: Salamence can set up a Dragon Dance and demolish Beedrill with a powerful Double-Edge or Return. Aside from this, it has Intimidate, becoming a huge thorn in Beedrill's side.

**Recoil Damage**: All of Beedrill's moves make contact, so recoil can really wear Beedrill down, limiting how many times it can make contact. Common sources of recoil are Garchomp, Rocky Helmet Suicune, and Ferrothorn.

**Entry Hazards**: These can limit how many times it can swap switch, putting a huge damper on it because of how often it uses U-turn.[/quote]
tagging GatoDelFuego Snobalt and P Squared to look at this because theyre the most swaggalicious on the GP team
 
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Previously ridiculed as a garbage Pokemon (ehh... I find this to sound like a reference to a generational shift; though I don't like it, I'll get a second opinion on this), Beedrill's Mega Evolution turns it into a beast! While still relatively uncommon in Battle Spot, Mega Beedrill is an offensive powerhouse. Its strength lies in its obscene Attack and Speed stat,(AC) which allow it to that can outspeed many common threats, and its great ability Adaptability, which doubles the power of its STAB moves. It also has a very strong U-turn, turning it into a powerful scout. Unfortunately, it can't reliably switch into a lot of things,(RC) because of its low bulk and bad defensive typing. Entry hazards, particularly Stealth Rocks in particular, give it a huge problem, as they limit the number of times it can switch in. The big problem is that Mega Beedrill can't stand up to a lot of its defensive checks without a lot of team support, so keep that in mind when building around it.

[SET]

name: Glass Cannon (not digging the set name, but that's just me)
move 1: U-turn
move 2: Poison Jab
move 3: Protect / Swords Dance
move 4: Drill Run / Knock Off
ability: Swarm
item: Beedrillite
ability: Swarm
nature: Jolly
evs: 228 Atk / 36 Def / 244 Spe

[SET COMMENTS]

Moves
========

U-turn is Mega Beedrill's main STAB move. It hits like a truck and allows Beedrill to swap switch out of almost anything that threatens it. Poison Jab is another powerful STAB move that hits several (I would use "most" here but it's kind of subjective) Fairies for super-(RH) effective damage. Protect allows Beedrill to safely Mega Evolve so that it can get boost its Speed safely boosted. It can also and scout for moves that threaten it. However, it can be dropped for Swords Dance to turn Mega Beedrill into an amazing wallbreaker. Drill Run deals with Steel-(AH)types that can wall Mega Beedrill, such as Heatran or and Klefki. Knock Off hits Ghost types for super-(RH)effective damage and cripples Pokemon that rely on their item, such as Chansey and Porygon2.

Set Details
========

36 Defense EVs allow it Mega Beedrill to take a hit from important priority hits moves, like such as Adamant Mega Kangaskhan's Sucker Punch or and Choice Band Azumarill's Aqua Jet. 244 Speed EVs and a Jolly Nature nature allow it to outspeed Adamant Choice Scarf Landorus-T, Mega Gengar, and the like. The rest of its remaining EVs are put into Attack so that it hits as hard as possible.

Usage Tips
========

Mega Beedrill can be used as a scout lead; Protect can scout the opponent's foe's move and allow Beedrill to Mega Evolve safely unless the extra Speed isn't necessary, then in which case you should U-turn out or KO it the foe. Exercise caution when you know the opponent will have foe has a priority move; if you know it'll KO you Mega Beedrill, hard switch into something a teammate that can absorb that hit. Maintaining offensive momentum is imperative, as that's what Mega Beedrill does best. Don't swap into switch in Beedrill on a hit that it doesn't resist; instead, (AC) wait for a free switch or Volt Switch/ or U-turn into it safely.

Team Options
========

Powerful wallbreakers such as Choice Specs Hydreigon or and Belly Drum Azumarill can aid Mega Beedrill in its sweep, getting rid of important checks like such as Mega Slowbro or and Ferrothorn. Anything Pokemon that can make use of a Lum Berry is a great teammate because Mega Beedrill has a hard time dealing with paralysis, burn, and sleep. One good user of Lum Berry is Garchomp, which. Garchomp can deal with some of Beedrill's checks, like such as Talonflame. Anything with Volt Switch forms a great core with Mega Beedrill. Rotom-W in particular stands out,(RC) because of how physically bulky it is. They can both swap switch out of their checks repeatedly. Magnezone is also a good partner, (RC) because of how it can trap Steel-(AH)types and crush them. Not only that, but it can as well as stand up to Sheer Cold Suicune, a common threat in the metagame. In return, Mega Beedrill can run Drill Run to deal with Heatran, (RC) so that it doesn't pose an issue to Magnezone. Both of these Pokemon deal with Talonflame, an important check to Mega Beedrill. While Though Beedrill is hyper-(RH)offensive in nature, pairing it with a defensive Pokemon that can cover its weaknesses might be beneficial; Suicune is a good example, as it can deal with Fire-(AH) and Ice-types. Hazard Entry hazard support from the likes of Landorus-T and Hippowdon helps Beedrill wear down some of its checks. Notable users include Landorus-T and Hippowdon.

[STRATEGY COMMENTS]

Other Options
========

Fell Stinger could get can give Mega Beedrill an Attack boosts, but it'(no curly apostrophes)s extremely hard to net kills KOs with it. Protect or Swords Dance could be dropped for to create an all-out attacking set, but only do this if you plan to bring it Mega Beedrill in exclusively against slower threats or opponents foes that are paralyzed or asleep. Substitute lowers Mega Beedrill's health HP, but it can be used to take advantage of a predicted a status move. It also and makes it hard to revenge-(RH)kill Mega Beedrill. X-Scissor hits a tad bit (pick one) harder than U-turn, but then you Mega Beedrill loses offensive momentum by not being able to swap switch out. An Adamant nature is sometimes used to gain extra base Attack, but Beedrill needs that Speed to deal with some of its checks, such as Mega Gengar, Adamant Choice Scarf Landorus-T, and +1 Mega Gyarados or +1 and Mega Tyranitar.

Checks and Counters
========

**Priority and Choice Users/Scarf Users**: These Pokemon can easily swap switch into Mega Beedrill and revenge kill it. Talonflame in particular stands out, (RC) because Brave Bird rips it in half Mega Beedrill to shreds.

**Physically Defensive Pokemon**: Mega Beedrill can'(no curly apostrophes)t OHKO everything, so anything Pokemon that can survive a hit from it can easily check it;, (change to comma) such as Hippowdon or Ferrothorn.

**Blaziken**: Blaziken can collect Speed boosts and to become faster than Mega Beedrill and hit it with a powerful Fire-type move.

**Salamence**: Salamence can set up a Dragon Dance and demolish Mega Beedrill with a powerful Double-Edge or Return. Aside from this, it has Intimidate, becoming which is a huge thorn in Mega Beedrill's side.

**Recoil Damage**: All of Mega Beedrill's moves make contact, so recoil can really wear Beedrill it down, limiting how many times it can make contact. Common sources of recoil are Garchomp, Rocky Helmet Suicune, and Ferrothorn.

**Entry Hazards**: These can limit how many times it Mega Beedrill can swap switch, putting a huge damper on it because of how often it uses U-turn.
Very nice changes overall, Ununhexium; you got pretty much all of them right. A few important things to note, though.
  1. When the Pokemon in the analysis has a Mega Evolution, ALWAYS refer to it as Mega (Pokemon) unless referring specifically to the base forme. An example where you'd do this is when the writer says that base Beedrill needs to use Protect to Mega Evolve safely.
  2. Opponent = opposing player, while foe = opposing Pokemon.
  3. In most cases, try to refrain from calling Pokemon "things" (i.e. something, everything, anything).
  4. When there are two really short sentences in succession that are about the same subject, such as the last two ones in Team Options, consolidate them. Don't let the flow of the paragraph be broken unless it needs to be.
  5. If describing synergy between teammates, such as how Magnezone helps Mega Beedrill and how Mega Beedrill helps Magnezone, try to connect the two ideas with "in return."
Yes, I know you're a conservative, but don't be afraid to be liberal with the changes!

GP 1/2
XMjBx4g.gif
 
On the set name, how about "(Offensive) Pivot"?

Working on these changes right about now.

EDIT: Finished Ununhexium and Snobalt's changes.
 
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remove add (Capitalize / Fix) (comments); (AC=add comma; RC=remove comma; SC=semicolon)
GP 2/2
[OVERVIEW]

Previously ridiculed as a garbage Pokemon, Beedrill's Mega Evolution turns it into a beast! While still relatively uncommon in Battle Spot, Mega Beedrill is an offensive powerhouse. Its strength lies in its obscene Attack and Speed, which allow it to outspeed many common threats, and Adaptability, which doubles the power of its STAB moves. It also has a very strong U-turn, turning it into a powerful scout. Unfortunately, it can't reliably switch into a lot of things threats because of its low bulk and bad defensive typing. Entry hazards, particularly Stealth Rock, give it a huge problem, as they limit the number of times it can switch in. The big problem is that Mega Beedrill can't stand up to a lot of its defensive checks without a lot of team support, so keep that in mind when building around it.

[SET]

name: Offensive Pivot
move 1: U-turn
move 2: Poison Jab
move 3: Protect / Swords Dance
move 4: Drill Run / Knock Off
item: Beedrillite
ability: Swarm
nature: Jolly
evs: 228 Atk / 36 Def / 244 Spe

[SET COMMENTS]

Moves
========

U-turn is Mega Beedrill's main STAB move. It hits like a truck and allows Mega Beedrill to switch out of almost anything that threatens it. Poison Jab is another powerful STAB move that hits several Fairies for super effective damage. Protect allows Mega Beedrill to Mega Evolve safely so it can boost its Speed safely and scout for moves that threaten it. However, it can be dropped for Swords Dance to turn Mega Beedrill into an amazing wallbreaker. Drill Run deals with Steel-types that can wall Mega Beedrill, such as Heatran and Klefki. Alternatively, (AC) Knock Off hits Ghost types for super effective damage and cripples Pokemon that rely on their item, such as Chansey and Porygon2.

Set Details
========

36 Defense EVs allow Mega Beedrill to take a hit from important priority moves, such as Adamant Mega Kangaskhan's Sucker Punch and Choice Band Azumarill's Aqua Jet. 244 Speed EVs and a Jolly nature allow it to outspeed Adamant Choice Scarf Landorus-T, Mega Gengar, and the like. The remaining EVs are put into Attack so that it hits as hard as possible.

Usage Tips
========

Mega Beedrill can be used as a scouting lead; Protect can scout the foe's move and allow Beedrill to Mega Evolve safely unless the extra Speed isn't necessary, in which case you it should U-turn out or KO the foe. Exercise caution when you know the foe has a priority move; if you know it'll KO Mega Beedrill, hard switch into a teammate that can absorb that hit. Maintaining offensive momentum is imperative, as that's what Mega Beedrill does best. Don't switch Mega Beedrill in on a hit that it doesn't resist; instead, wait for a free switch or Volt Switch or U-turn into it safely.

Team Options
========

Powerful wallbreakers such as Choice Specs Hydreigon and Belly Drum Azumarill can aid Mega Beedrill in its sweep, getting rid of important checks such as Mega Slowbro and Ferrothorn. Any Pokemon that can make use of a Lum Berry is a great teammate because Beedrill has a hard time dealing with paralysis, burn, and sleep. One good user of Lum Berry is Garchomp, which can deal with some of Beedrill's checks, such as Talonflame. Anything with Volt Switch forms a great core with Beedrill. Rotom-W in particular stands out because of how physically bulky it is. They can both switch out of their checks repeatedly. Magnezone is also a good partner because it can trap Steel-types and crush them, as well as stand up to Sheer Cold Suicune, a common threat in the metagame. In return, Mega Beedrill can run Drill Run to deal with Heatran so that it doesn't pose an issue to Magnezone. Both of these Pokemon deal with Talonflame, an important check to Beedrill. Though Beedrill is hyper offensive (remove hyphen) in nature, pairing it with a defensive Pokemon that can cover its weaknesses might be beneficial; Suicune is a good example, as it can deal with Fire- and Ice-types. Entry hazard support from the likes of Landorus-T and Hippowdon helps Beedrill wear down some of its checks.

[STRATEGY COMMENTS]

Other Options
========

Fell Stinger can give Mega Beedrill an Attack boost, but it's extremely hard to net KOs with it. Protect or Swords Dance could be dropped to create an all-out attacking set, but only do this if you plan to bring Mega Beedrill in exclusively against slower threats or foes that are paralyzed or asleep. Substitute lowers Mega Beedrill's HP, but it can be used to take advantage of a predicted status move and make it hard to revenge kill Mega Beedrill. X-Scissor hits a bit harder than U-turn, but then Mega Beedrill loses offensive momentum by not being able to switch out while dealing damage. An Adamant nature is sometimes used to gain extra Attack, but Beedrill needs that Speed to deal with some of its checks, such as Mega Gengar, Adamant Choice Scarf Landorus-T, and +1 Mega Gyarados and Mega Tyranitar.

Checks and Counters (add spaces after each item)
========

**Priority and Choice Scarf Users**: These Pokemon can easily switch into Mega Beedrill and revenge kill it. Talonflame in particular stands out because Brave Bird rips Mega Beedrill to shreds.

**Physically Defensive Pokemon**: Mega Beedrill can't OHKO everything, so any Pokemon that can survive a hit from it can easily check it, such as Hippowdon or Ferrothorn.

**Blaziken**: Blaziken can collect Speed boosts to become faster than Mega Beedrill and hit it with a powerful Fire-type move.

**Mega Salamence**: Mega Salamence can set up a Dragon Dance and demolish Mega Beedrill with a powerful Double-Edge or Return. Aside from this, it has Intimidate, which is a huge thorn in Mega Beedrill's side.

**Recoil Damage**: All of Mega Beedrill's moves make contact, so recoil can really wear it down, limiting how many the number of times it can make contact. Common sources of recoil are Garchomp, Rocky Helmet Suicune, and Ferrothorn.

**Entry Hazards**: These Entry hazards can limit how many the number of times Mega Beedrill can switch, putting a huge damper on it because of how often it uses U-turn.
 
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