Completed Blisteringly-Fast Battle! Engineer vs. Glacier Knight

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Engineer said:
1v1 Singles
2 Day DQ
Infinite Chills / No Recovers
One Ability
Items Off
Switch = KO

Arena: Unown Soup

Pichu (Pika) (M)
Nature: Rash (Special Attack increased by *, Special Defense decreased by *)

Type: Electric
Electric STAB; 50% reduction in paralysis chance from other electrical attacks, perfect accuracy and 30% chance of Protect breaking Thunder during Rain. Superior senses in power plant environments.

Static: (Innate) This Pokemon’s body is surrounded by an electric field that has a 30% chance of paralyzing opponents that use contact moves on this Pokemon.
Lightningrod (LOCKED): (Innate) These Pokemon naturally attract electricity to themselves and away from partners in double battles. When struck with an Electric attack, they transfer the energy into their body, using it to increase their Special Attack by one (1) stage. A boost gained this way by an opponent's attack will be maintained at the end of each round. Self-targeted attacks do not maintain boosts. If a Pokemon has a type immunity to Electric attacks, Lightning Rod will not activate.

Stats: 20 / 40 / 15 / 35 / 35 / 60

HP: 80
Atk: ** (2)
Def: * (1)
SpA+: *** (3)
SpD-: * (1)
Spe: 60

Size Class: 1
Weight Class: 1
Base Rank Total: 10

Evolution Counter: 0 / 9
Move Counter: 0
Dream Counter: 0 / 5

Tail Whip
Thunder Wave
Sweet Kiss
Nasty Plot

Encore (#)
Endure (#)
Fake Out (#)

Hidden Power [Ice 7] (#)
Protect (#)
Grass Knot (#)

Move Count: 12

Quicksilver the Slugma (M)

Nature: Quiet (+special attack, - speed)


Fire: Fire STAB; immune to burn, emit a low glow in dark places, takes additional damage if active open flames are exposed to a water attack. Superior senses in volcanic or brushfire areas.

Magma Armor: (Innate) This Pokemon has a strong, heated armor that makes it incapable of being frozen. The armor also reduces the Base Attack Power of all incoming attacks by one (1).

Flame Body: (Innate) This Pokemon’s external temperature is kept at such a high level that any contact attack used on this Pokemon has a 30% chance of burning the opponent.

(DW LOCKED) Weak Armor: (Can be Enabled) The Pokemon can loosen its worn defensive armor so that it will break off when an opponent uses a contact attack, reducing the Pokemon's Defense and increasing their Speed by one (1) stage for each hit.


HP: 90
Atk: Rank 2
Def: Rank 2
SpA: Rank 4 (+)
SpD: Rank 2
Spe: 17 (-)
Size Class: 1
Weight Class: 3
Base Rank Total: 12

EC: 2/6
MC: 0
DC: 2/5

Rock Throw
Flame Burst
Earth Power
Body Slam
Lava Plume

Heat wave

Rock Tomb
Over Heat
Double Team

17 Moves

C'mon, c'mon; let's go, let's go! This battle's gonna be faster than a marriage to Kim Kardashian. We don't have time for flavor, let alone explanations as to why we're in a cesspool of letter-shaped Pokemon!

Engineer orders first!

Engineer Pikachu

Good morning, you bastards!
is a Contributor Alumnus
Err, okay.

Thunder Wave - ThunderShock - ThunderShock
IF (Earth Power is used) AND (Unown M is not taken) THEN (Unown M: Mirror Coat and push actions back)

Pichu- Pika
Hp: 80
En: 100
Status: none
Other: none

Slugma- Quicksilver
Hp: 90
En: 100
Status: none
Other: none​

Do you smell that? That's the smell of speed! Not really because this match has taken almost a day to finish a round, but its the thought that counts.

Pichu, being the failure that it is, flinches from a half-baked Fake Out attack summoned by a random Unown. How does a slug manage to fake anything out? The world may never know...

Pichu, irritated at being so inept as to be confused by a slug, fires the weakest attack manageable at the Slugma. Really, a Thundershock? That's your best STAB move? Slugma says "fuck that" to weak attacks and blasts the pissant Electric Pokemon with Heat Wave. The blast of hot air even Burns the bastard. Hilarity ensues.

Pichu reaffirms my theory of being the worst anything ever by using another Thundershock on Slugma. Apparently, Quicksilver is allergic to repetition and contracts a weak Paralysis (15%) from the attack. Fortunately for my sanity, Slugma doesn't seize up from its condition and sprays a Lava Plume everywhere, thoroughly dousing that electric rodent, Pika, and melting off its face. (Not really, but I wish. The whole Pikachu line can rot in hell for all I care.)

Let's see how our piss-poor combatants are doing!

Pichu- Pika
Hp: 36
En: 92
Status: Burn
Other: Horribly disfigured with little of its initial "cuteness" left

Slugma- Quicksilver
Hp: 72
En: 85
Status: Paralysis (10%)
Other: Paralysis? I'm a frickin' lava slug; it's not like I can go much slower...


Pichu flinched!

Thundershock: (4+1.5+3)=8.5~9 damage; 3-1=2 energy
roll=3462/10000, 3642</=9000, no paralysis

Thundershock: (4+1.5+3)=8.5~9 damage; 3+4-1= 6 energy
roll=9468/10000, 9468>9000, paralysis (15%)
Slugma was paralyzed! It may be unable to move!

-2 Hp Burn, -2 Hp Burn

Total Hp Loss: 44
Total Energy Cost: 8


Fake Out: (4+1.5)=5.5~6 damage; 4 energy

Heat Wave: (10+4.5+3)=17.5~18 damage; 7-1=6 energy
roll=1661/10000, 1661</=9000, hit
roll=9779/10000, 9779>9000, burn

roll=7568/10000, 7568</=8500, no paralysis
Lava Plume: (8+4.5+3)=15.5~16 damage; 6-1=5 energy
no burn roll

Total Hp Loss: 18
Total Energy Cost: 15


Glacier orders first!
Forgot to add in Magma Armor's BAP reduction last round, so Slugma has 2 more Hp... Not that it matters

Pichu- Pika
Hp: 36
En: 92
Status: Burn
Other: Horribly disfigured with little of its initial "cuteness" left

Slugma- Quicksilver
Hp: 74
En: 85
Status: Paralysis (10%)
Other: Paralysis? I'm a frickin' lava slug; it's not like I can go much slower...

Let's watch the destruction of a horrible, horrible Pokemon, everyone!

This undoubtedly final round begins with the abomination known as Pika grabbing an Unown M from the Unown Soup and using it to create a Mirror Coat to reflect Slugma's next attack.
Quicksilver decides that it really doesn't care since the Pichu will likely die soon anyways, so it continues blasting the eyesore with a scalding Heat Wave, knowing full well that the attack will be reflected back.
The damage Pichu does this way is too little, too late, though, and Quicksilver remains quite a bit ahead in the Hp race.

Knowing full well that it's completely screwed, the dying Pichu tries one last-ditch effort with a... Sweet Kiss? The horrid little creature with the melting face goes in to kiss the lava slug, but -perhaps because of the liquefying flesh falling into its eyes- it misses the basically immobile gastropod.
Its last hope foiled, the Pichu gets roasted by one final Lava Plume from its opponent. This Slugma has surely done the suffering Pichu (and the world) a favor in snuffing it out.

Glacier wins!! More Importantly, PICHU LOSES!!

Pichu- Pika
Hp: KO
En: KO
Status: Burn
Other: Immolated

Slugma- Quicksilver
Hp: 58
En: 74
Status: Paralysis (10%)
Other: Destroyer of Useless Pokemon


Mirror Coat: 18*1.5-1=26 damage, 15 energy

Sweet Kiss: 5 energy
roll=7810/10000, 7810>7500, miss

-2 Hp Burn

Total Hp Loss: 36
Total Energy Cost: 20


roll=4205/10000, 4205</=9000, no paralysis
Heat Wave: 18 damage, 6 energy
roll=5303/10000, 5303</=9000, hit

roll=1478/10000, 1478</=9000, no paralysis
Lava Plume: 16 damage, 5 energy

Total Hp Loss: 26
Total Energy Cost: 11


2 CC
Slugma: 1 EC, 2 MC, 1 DC, 1 KOC

2 CC
Pichu: 1 EC, 2 MC, 1 DC

2 UC
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