Part Ten
Lysandre! Toi coquin, sale canaille au cœur noir! Un plan désespéré, une rencontre légendaire et une course ridiculement longue dans l'antre ennemi!
Upon taking a few steps into Lysandre Labs, I find - the man himself! Well, that was easy. He states that the world will end today, and asks if I'd like a ticket to join him and his chosen few, or to perish alongside the rest of mankind. Honestly, I'd like the ticket please.
But he instead decides to battle me, and sends out Mienfoo, which is quickly 2HKO'd by Tri Attack. Next out is Gyarados, which comfortably takes 25% from Tri Attack and slams me with a super-effective Iron Head! Ack. Another of those will KO. I check my bag - fortunately I have an X Defend. Applying that allows me to narrowly survive the second hit and then heal, allowing me a little breathing room to hit it with Tri Attack again. C'mon, I need a status infliction here. Literally ANY of them will do.
No such luck. Gyarados hits with Iron Head again, bringing me to just over 50%. Luckily the Leftovers Floette has equipped are helping, a very little bit. I get in another Tri Attack but it'll take another three hits to KO; I daren't risk using Light of Ruin because Iron Head is doing so much damage. After healing again and getting one more hit in, I'm at ~10% while Gyarados is at 25%. I take a deep breath and hope the last hit will KO - it does! Thank god. Not looking forward to facing that brute again.
Thankfully, Lysandre's third Pokemon is Murkrow, which proves incredibly easy to KO with Light of Ruin once I've healed again. Last of all comes Pyroar, which hits me with Fire Blast but fails to KO so I 2HKO it with Tri Attack.
Chastened, Lysandre leaves, telling me that I'll need to beat everyone at his other HQ before I can stop him. I'll do that, then.
I'm left to explore the spin tile/warp maze, but there's a grunt before I've hardly taken a step. Argh, she's got a Swalot, and I should have healed...! Okay. Breathe. Need to remember to heal before proceeding again.
Taking the spin tile takes me to a room with an admin. She recognises me from the Power Plant... oh, was I supposed to recognise you? Because I don't. You did and said nothing of note that distinguished you from any of the other Flare members. Soz. She's added a Druddigon to her roster, though, which is nice but makes her easy pickings for my lil fairy.
Turns out Sina and Dexio are here in their incredibly lame disguises. They give me some Revives, which unfortunately won't be much use.
In one of the back rooms are two more forgettable Flare scientists. I trounce them both, but run completely out of PP (well, for Nature Power and Light of Ruin - nothing I've fought down here is weak to Petal Dance), forcing me to use up the Ethers in my bag. Gonna need more of those for the Elite Four, I think. Once I do, Floette levels up and tries to learn Solar Beam - eh, nah. It's even less useful. But the scientists let slip that the stones on Route 10 are key to Team Flare's plan. Cool. The final scientist, who presumably has the elevator key I need to obtain, is in the final room. She says she recognises me from Frost Cavern... goddammit, these people all look and act the same. Anyway, I blast her team to death and she forks over the key, allowing me to take the elevator to the lower level.
I emerge in a gloomy hallway and find Lysandre in front of a cell containing... hey, it's the giant man we ran into earlier. How did they catch him? We'll never know. He starts to relay the story of the long-ago war, and how a certain Fairy Pokemon lost its life in that war before being brought back by the machine that would later become the ultimate weapon. For all my criticisms of these games, this part is very nicely done.
Lysandre tells us that the man is AZ, a king from long ago, and invites me to join him in his quarters. Pre-annihilation nookie, is it? But when I get there, it's nothing so enjoyable. He makes us fight yet another tedious scientist (though, for a refreshing change of pace, this one is a man) who promptly slaughters me with his Crobat's Cross Poison. Erp.
Okay. Let's try that again. After blacking out, I return to the basement and the scene replays as if nothing happened. This time, fully healed and fresh, I'm able to get the lead on him and knock Crobat out before it can kill me, then one-shot his Malamar. The Team Flare scientist shows me that there's a red and blue button behind him: one will activate the weapon, one will not. Well, I've seen the Matrix, so I know how to play this. Blue. It was the right one, but they activate the weapon anyway. Well, that was pointless. I watch on a screen as the scene plays out: the weapon bursts from the centre of Geosenge Town, knocking over a couple of the houses there (but, y'know, not any of the important ones you can actually enter or anything). The scientist excitedly proclaims it a victory for science... um, sure.
Better head over to Geosenge, then. I grab my Delibird and quickly fly across the region. Sure enough, Geosenge is absolutely trashed, and the ultimate weapon towers above it most unattractively. The way south to Route 10 is blocked, and one of the grunts standing guard tells me that the weapon can only be powered by Pokemon life force. Jesus, that's... actually really dark. Nice.
Knowing that the hideout is to the northwest of the town, I head up the path and... oh, look who decided to show up. Serena appears and says that we'll stop Lysandre together. And then lets me go in alone. Y'know, it would have been cool to have her accompany you like one of the stat trainers from DPP, but I guess that would have been
too cool.
Anyway, Lysandre's waiting for me in the main area. He and Serena have a protracted ethical debate before he challenges me to battle, having magically evolved his Mienfoo in the few minutes since we last fought. Right, I know how this is going to go... not going to get caught out again. I apply my last X Defend and an X Sp Attack for good measure and then heal up before taking Mienshao down. As expected, Gyarados comes out next - but thanks to my boosts, Iron Head does only a third of my health, while Tri Attack is enough to 2HKO.
Murkrow too has evolved, into Honchkrow, but it doesn't do it much good - Tri Attack is a quick and dirty KO on both it and Pyroar. Take that, ya big ginge.
Serena and I head down into the lower level, in which Lysandre has apparently imprisoned the legendary Pokemon. It's quite lame that we didn't see it get found/captured, I suppose at this point we're just taking "the evil team gets the legendary" as read. Oh, NOW Serena joins up with me... so we can do some tag battles against more anonymous Flare losers. Bit of a comedown after facing Lysandre, but mmkay. And she doesn't even heal me after each battle like Cheryl would do. Honestly...
After a couple of fights, Shauna shows up. Serena asks what she's doing here, and Shauna says that she knows she'll only slow us down, to which Serena... doesn't contradict her. Rude. But accurate. Anyway. She then just stands there like a lemon while we proceed. Cool, so glad you could stop by and help, Shauna. We make it to the bottom level and Shauna attempts to justify her presence by opening the door. Truly, I am sure no other character could have accomplished such a thing.
Inside the chamber, the legendary Pokemon waits in the form of a vast white tree... and looking oddly like a Cursola. Huh. That's funny.
Before we can approach however - yes, you guessed it, more tedious grunts to fight! Shauna and Serena run off, causing some to chase them, but there's still four to beat. Yawwwwwwwwwwn. One of them very nearly KOs me when his Golbat gets a critical hit, but the fact that I'm allowed to heal between them makes it unimportant. Now if they'd rushed me and not given me time to heal... could have been a different story. But nah, you're allowed to fight them at your leisure. Really amps up the end-of-the-world tension, that.
Once they're gone, they all flee, calling for Lysandre. Y'know what... lemme just quickly teach Floette Calm Mind instead of Petal Dance. Just for insurance.
In a truly spectacular display of light and colour, Xerneas awakens, transforming from its dormant state into its radiant Active Form before attacking me.
Much as with Reshiram and Zekrom in Black and White, you're required to catch Xerneas here, which... I think is kind of stupid, honestly. Zekrom and Reshiram had a plot-related reason to go with the player, but Xerneas doesn't know me from Adam. Yes, I'm trying to save it, but there's no reason I can see it wouldn't just want to return to the wild. I just find it quite forced.
Nothing on you personally, Xerneas. You and Yveltal are still top-tier legendaries IMO.
Anyway. Gripes aside. Since I'm forced to catch it, I don't bother attacking. I have the Master Ball, but as I said in a prior update nothing in this game really justifies its use. Relying on Xerneas' pleasingly high catch rate, I throw balls, and my fourth makes a successful capture. Cool!
Lysandre enters the room, clad in a truly ridiculous outfit with a Cyclops visor and three bizarre cybernetic attachments. The way they buzz and flutter just makes him look like he has enormous flies around his head. What's even sillier is that he doesn't explain it at all; Shauna calls him out on looking ridiculous but he just brushes it off.
So, annoyingly, the game forces you to use Xerneas against Lysandre, as it gets placed in position one without so much as a by-your-leave. Well, fine. I may as well kill Mienshao since Floette would do so easily anyway. Once that's done, Lysandre switches to Honchkrow so I send out Floette again. I'm reasonably confident Floette can survive anything Honchkrow throws at it, so use Calm Mind as it strikes me with Steel Wing. Painful, but survivable. It goes down to a beefed-up Tri Attack, and Lysandre opts for Pyroar, who similarly quickly falls. Ah, of course, because he's mega evolving Gyarados he's saving it for last... duh. Sure enough, Gyarados' Mega Stone activates and it becomes the terrifying Mega Gyarados... for about a minute, because Light of Ruin utterly annihilates it. I figured it would anyway, but I wanted to make absolutely sure.
Anyway, defeated, Lysandre throws a tantrum and refuses to listen to reason. Classic. He threatens to imbue us all with eternal life by using the ultimate weapon, but Serena tells us all to run out of there. Hey, I want eternal life...! Spoilsport.
Apparently, if you squint really hard you can see the Paldea region in this picture!
The ultimate weapon fires and appears to blow up, leaving a giant, smoking crater. Tierno, Trevor, Sina, and Dexio join us as we gather in front of it. It transpires that with Lysandre defeated, Team Flare has dispersed without a word and his control over the Holo Caster has been halted. Nice and neat.
Everyone leaves, but AZ suddenly appears and sorrowfully talks about the man who created the weapon, and the Pokemon he used to be friends with, remorsefully asking what he has to do to meet it again. Hey, I've got it right here. You want it back? ...never mind.
To borrow a phrase from someone I can't remember right now: well, that was dumb.
Current team
Floette @ Leftovers - level 66
