Tournament LCPL 6 - Commencement and Discussion

Serene's Grace

I know you felt it too
is a Tiering Contributor
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As the official Public Relations Manager of the Belchsprouts, I am here to inform you that we are looking into purchasing players at this year's midseason auction!
To increase your chances of getting selected please fill out this questionnaire so that we can better understand you as a player and how you fit in the Belchsprout scheme!


*disclaimer we don't have actually have any funds, but we have expendable assets (like Kingler12345) we can sell to get the money, so make sure you knock our socks off to get a chance at selection!
 


hi

I am here today representing the Snivy Subterfuge

unlike most other teams we do have money left over from auction

a lot of it

we also already have a bunch of players who we can sellback if we need more money i have been informed we cannot just sell back people for money unless they're toxic but we still have a bunch of money

please let us know through this form why you should be bought by the snivy subterfuge

thanks​

 
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Shrug

Sexuall Posts
is a Community Contributoris a Tiering Contributoris a defending Smogon Snake Draft Champion
User: macle revolutionized smogon premier leagues with his decision to sponsor his own team this lcpl. While the Guerrilla Goletts are the People's Team who would never sell out, other teams have not been so virtuous.
lets take a look at some of the logos we'll see on team jerseys for the rest of the season.

The Belchsprouts: their sponsorship deal can be found in the link. There's a definite caste system at play here - Kingler12345 spends his days eating the finest curry watching anime while sending Serene's Grace into the mines to build teams and harvest the salt that powers Starmaster's very existence. This team has been fueled by more grievance than the entire GOP, though not without good reason - losing a match to a calculation impossibility and to the snivies for any reason would leave even the most level-headed manager seething with rage. Their salt-mine sponsorship will aid them in filling chats with lines and lines of anger while neglecting to build teams, test them, or arrive on time for fights.

The Crystal Onix: fleshlite.com (link changed so im not banned). The team named after either a massive dildo or a crack pipe has found an advertiser benefiting its playerbase. As lcpl's most anime-addled team, the Onix have no shortage of waifus between their players. There are many pros to imagining an ideal romantic attachment to a 12-yo 2D character with facial and bodily proportions never seen in real life - she'll always be more attractive than you, be into your autis- er, unique hobbies, and be down for sexual intercourse like 4 times a day. Two problems: 1) if she was real, it would be a crime and 2) 2D characters lack the depth of a real-life vagina. Enter fleshlight. Their premium models can sustain repeated use at a variety of tempos: angry (for when you totally would have won if not for that low roll that put you out of 3hko range on turn 3), happy (for when nineage compliments your memes), and shameful (for when dad comes in to see you're on the pokemon site again). Buy now.

The Stunting Stunkies: The Catholic Church. this group of alter boys have not made a peep all season, probably the result of Father Sken 's directive to be seen and not heard. On an unrelated note, here is a movie recommended to me by infamy: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spotlight_(film). I'm not saying there's a reason Vileman currently preaches in South America, but they had to move them somewhere.

The Waterless Wynauts: No One. This team reached out to representatives for O.J Simpson, Jared Fogle, and ISIS, all of whom declined to sponsor the team, citing the negative impact on their brands as a result of their association.

The Lit AF Litleos: Petrobras. It's been a rough year for the brazilian political system. Theyve seen a president impeached, unrest in the streets, and dysfunction throughout the country. It has been rough in particular for state oil entity Petrobras, which has had a history of spilling thick black ooze into rivers, animal habitats, etc while making the occasional cameo in corruption trials. There's no better way to redeem your image than sponsorship of a wholesome, drama-free lcpl team. A team with no history of :toxic: behavior, one with two sterling young brazilian lcers: GOAO and ggggd. Their conduct has been pristine, their relationships with fellow 12 yo boys such as Sam-testings to be envied by everyone else in the little cup community.

The Snivy Subterfuge: ImBlackAndGaySoIt'sOK.com. Have you ever wondered if you were being a (tm) Bad Ally by eating at Chick-fil-a? Have you ever been reprimanded because your Django costume from "Django Unchained" was a little too accurate? This startup by user: Jac has your solution. It's an obvious fact that everyone knows that you cannot be considered racist or homophobic if you have a black or gay acquaintance, respectively. For late-stage woke people like such as myself, this isnt a problem - I have many african-american friends with whom i discuss sports such as basketball and breakdancing and many gay friends with whom i discuss fashion and lisps. However, some people are as far as two or three or maybe as far as five miles from a real live black or gay person, which is a lot of effort to be able to call someone "nigga" or a "(BAN ME PLEASE)" on a pocket monsters website. Worry no more. Everyone is within 50 feet of a computer at all times, which is all you need to use this site. Whenever you get into a perilous situation - someone calls you a heinous slur such as "cracker", for instance - you can pull up this site's interface and have a real life black person attest that he is indeed your friend. Need a snappy comeback? Their gay staff will be there for you. ImBlackAndGaySoIt'sOK.com - never worry about saying that word at karaoke again.

I hope these sponsorship deals provide the influx of cash these other teams need to be able to compete with the Goletts in the rest of the season.
 
Infpredicts: Predraft Edition

The Belchsprouts - Levi struggles with crippling anime addiction and alcoholism while still managing to keep the Sprouts afloat. This proves untenable in the long term, and after getting off to a hot start, the Sprouts drop every game but the very last in the regular season and just barely inch into the playoffs. Unfortunately their championship hopes come to an end at the hands of the evil Merritty when he hacks the crucial final match of the series and obliterates them with luck.

Gonefroggin.com Froakies - Macle gets distracted from managing by genetically engineering a new superfrog which he believes will come to subjugate humanity and hold man responsible for his crimes against the environment. He manages to create it near the end of the season and the superfrog ghosts them into playoffs. Not even the superfrog, though, can escape the divine justice known as luck and they are eliminated.

Guerrilla Goletts - Shrug abandons Pokemon to move to LA and become a standup comedian. His Netflix special composed entirely of Jared Fogle jokes is released at midseason and becomes known as one of the greatest comedy routines of all time. Meanwhile Quote searches for a replacement but nobody wants to do it. Eventually Vubon is selected to manage the Goletts and he leads his team to a late comeback but it's too little too late and they don't make playoffs.

Lit AF Litleos - OP, it turns out, is actually a Taiwanese 6 year old pretending to be OP, which explains the terrible team name. A worldwide manhunt is started for the real OP but he is never heard from again. The 6 year old is forced at gunpoint to continue managing and posting on the OP account so the authorities can avoid being publicly humiliated.

Snivy Subterfuge - It turns out that Jac is merely a puppet leader for the man behind the throne, Merritty. Merritty, schemer that he is, develops an evil plan to hack PS and SmogTours and make his team get all the luck. Luckily Zarel has Adobe Reader installed and he manages to defeat Merritty in a hacking battle. Humiliated, Merritty travels to Antarctica where he builds a complex fortress from which he will achieve world domination. Jac moves to Iowa and starts a corn farm.

Stunting Stunkys - Sken takes advantage of his good drafting skills to take time off from Pokemon and begin a new fascist regime in Spain. He is defeated and forced to retreat to Almeria, where he must post his lineups and play his games from a cracked iPod Touch. It turns out that he bears a striking resemblance to Giuliano Gemma and conspiracy theories about the immortal actor begin to pop up.

Waterless Wynauts - Melon goes on a week long water fast in protest of the ruthless mutilation of plant genitalia practiced throughout the world. He is rushed to a hospital and they stick an IV up his ass. He tries to cry but he is too dehydrated to make tears so instead he just kinda dry sobs like the girl at the end of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. His team sends him a box of tulips. Rssp1 becomes manager while Melon is in the hospital and he forces everyone to use Rufflet, which goes well until somebody mistakes Rowlet for Rufflet and rssp1 blows their head clean off with a shotgun. He is imprisoned and a weakened Melon is forced to return to managing. The season doesn't go well.

Weeaboo Wailmers - Nineage drafts the greatest squadron of all time and easily wins LCPL. An eternal bond is formed between his teammates and they eventually publish a treatise redefining Pokemon as we know it. Nineage becomes Exalted Ruler of smogon.com and all Wailmers members become millionaires.

THE END :)
#tbt