Marriage

[PazzaK]

I started thinking about this whilst i was looking at alot of the romance themed threads on cong, in particular kristy's one on Proposition 8, and it got me wondering.
In this day and age, with "55 hour marriage's", what pupose does marriage actually serve? its been devalued so much through the ridiculous divorce rates, that declaring everlasting love for someone and making a massive commitment is basically worthless. I am not at all against marriage, but i think that people these days do not take it seriously at all. In fact, with all things considered, it would be cheaper and easier for most people not marry at all.

Also, i appreciate that sometimes things and indeed people change over years and a divorce is sometimes nessecary, and this is understandable. Im just bringing what i think is an issue to the people of smogon for their opinions.

Discuss :]
Please?

 

[Luduan]

I think that marriage, to a large extent, is an outdated socioeconomic (and religious) arrangement that serves little legitimate purpose in today's society. I don't think it is people's devaluement of marriage as much as it is marriage's visceral incompatibility with modern ideas of sexuality and relationships that is the problem.

 

[wildfire393]

I laugh so hard when someone tries to use the "Sanctity of Marriage" defense of banning gay marriage. The divorce rate is OVER 50%. How sacrosanct...

The real problem is, society teaches us that if we think we love someone, we marry them (disney movies, most movies, etc). The problem is, this leads to most people only THINKING they love someone when they marry them. And then they discover that they are really incompatible, and end up divorcing.
It's more than just that though. Christianity places a heavy emphasis on saving sex until marriage. Just about everyone wants to have sex. If you're told you must do A before having sex, doing A suddenly seems like a really good idea, even if A is getting married to someone you don't actually know that well.
In addition, society places a heavy emphasis on marriage. If someone is in their thirties and unmarried, they are often considered unsuccessful failures.

I'm not at the age where my friends are actually getting married yet, but I have seen LOTS of my friends get "engaged", usually to someone they have not been dating for very long (under a year consecutively). And every single one of these engagements has ended. Badly. If these people were in their twenties and living on their own, I'm fairly certain that these would have been divorces, not just failed engagements. People need to stop rushing towards marriage - it's the rest of your life, or at least it should be. Take your time in deciding it.
This may sound hypocritical, considering that I am engaged, but there are several factors at play here:
1) I was dating the person I got engaged to for over two years before proposing.
2) At the time I proposed, I had literally almost died (bad car accident), which made me consider what things were really important to me. If someone is really there for you in a situation like this, it goes a long way towards showing that you definitely belong together.
3) As part of the engagement, we determined that we would not actually be getting married for at least four years, more likely five or six.

 

[User 12783]

Well actually, most people know it from the day they set their eyes on someone else (love at first sight). I know I love this girl that I'm best friends with, I just know it in my heart, otherwise I wouldn't be dreaming, thinking, living, and breathing only for her. You have to work slowly towards a marriage, otherwise you'll just end up with more trouble than you asked. Dating should last a while before a proposal.

 

[Raj]

Honestly, marriage means nothing. It's not as if marriage does anything; it's a made-up concept of ours. Animals don't exchange rings (except for penguins, who propose wih shiny pebbles) and we're just animals, too. You can still love and stick to one person without becoming legally binded to that one person.

 

[Bam]

Marriage obviously doesn't mean "nothing", otherwise homosexuals would not be fighting for it so ardently. To them it means tax breaks, acceptance by the social act of being married (have you met anybody that doesn't want to get married one day - it's their dream too), and the chance to raise a family (although I strongly disagree with homosexual adoption or artificial insemination but that's for another topic).

Not only does marriage provide "status", but it provides security. I recently read an article about how many couples that were going to get divorced before the financial crisis are now going to stay together simply because it makes life easier, cheaper, and simpler for them. I think it's ironic that such a problem is (potentially) fixing these marriages for good. It also gives you a life partner, somebody you can grow old with, talk to about anything, satisfy natural sexual desires with, produce children, have fun, and live the "good life". Although all of these can arguably be attained without the act of marriage, it could be debated that it's harder and the "one time commitment" of marriage helps seal the deal.

 

[Shinryu]

The only real benefit of marriage these days imo is the "perks" that come with it, such as being able to file taxes jointly (which in turn can give bigger breaks), legal matters if a spouse were to die, etc.

 

[HotPocket]

I believe that marriage serves a huge purpose, that covers many different things. I don't believe that marriage is a stupid religious institution or anything.

Basically, we are in the want and spend era, correct? At least thats what I would call it. As soon as something gets old or something takes too much work, we want to get rid of it seeing little in keeping it or wanting to get something new. I believe that the same idea can be spread to marriage. We can eventually lead this to the fact that the more we divorce, the less humane we become. We lose a little bit of ourselves by giving into the whole idea of everything is a possession and the "capitalist's dream"

This does not mean, however, that I believe that getting a divorce is wrong. If two people don't love each other I see no reason at all for them to be together.

Sure, we may in fact get to the stage were we live in a socialist enviroment and children are cared for, not by the mother, but by the community. I believe then that marriage will become useless.

 

[Raj]

Marriage is a concept, just like money without it there'd be something else, domestic partnership for example.

 

[HotPocket]

Marriage is a concept, just like money without it there'd be something else, domestic partnership for example.

I don't mind if you don't use the term "marriage" all I am saying is that "divorcing" is showing the decay of society.

Or, I suppose, you could look it at the opposite way and society is evolving from marriages arranged by parents or the feeling like they are stuck. And they are realizing their freedom.

Also, the 50% divorce rate is not entirely true. The divorce rate they have is the divorce rate of total marriages. Not the divorce rate of a singular person. Many people that divorce once will marry and divorce again. That is just the life-style they lead. Take my aunt, for instance, she is on her 5th husband.

 

[Iamslow]

Marriage always sounded really nice to me when I was younger, but not so much anymore.

I just don't think I'll be able to handle a relationship for a long time.

 

[Chill Murray]

I always assumed marriage was a social contract between two people to live together for the rest of their lives. Raising children is a big part of this but it isn't necessary.