While Broken Phobias was transfixed on this old photo, he began to realize that at this point in his life he had never experienced loss. Whenever he peered back and tried to imagine what life was like, he simply could not. Broken Phobias’ conscious mind attempts to take him back to the days when life was easy. It places him in a false sense of authenticity which makes him ask himself how am he is still sensible with everything he has lost within his life?
As Broken Phobias’ attempts to recollect his life before all the loss, he finds it strenuous to comprehend how he felt at each point of loss in his life. He cannot be sad for everyone he has lost, nor can he make himself cry; he can only miss those he has lost. He feels not a sliver of remorse for them. In fact the only death he can recall crying at was for Peef Rimgar, a man whom he had never even met. He simply cannot understand why he did not cry when Megazard passed away or just recently when Twix passed away. He cannot fathom what it feels like to grieve someone's death.
Broken Phobias, in the picture, was too young and naive to believe that death meant I was not going to see someone again in that life. As of now he is the only remaining member of that photograph who is still alive. He is not sure how he feels about this. Part of him wants to say “Wow! That is pretty cool!”; another part of him wants to be upset, but it is just how things worked out so he cannot be. He begins to compare it to dropping an ice cream cone he just paid for. It is a shame, but it is nothing to cry over. He wonders if there something wrong with him?
Broken Phobias has experienced so much loss within a short lifetime and shed so little tear. His psyche is completely fine as far as he knows, so why can’t he mourn? He has strolled through his life, and he plans on continuing to do so. It is not that he doesn’t want to cry and start lamenting, it is just that he wonders why he cannot. Maybe it is more efficient because he does not waste his time being sad for people who no longer exist.
Honestly, Broken Phobias was happy that he did not feel that aching pain of losing someone or something he loved. As he marveled at the photograph, he realized that death is trivial. It comes and takes someone away, and it happens quite frequently; on average two people die each second. Death is just something that happens; you get over it. Crying over a death, something so recurrent, is a very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very grievous misuse of your time.