So now that the regular season is mostly wrapped up, I feel pretty confident in understanding the types of players you'll see in and around SPL. As a relatively new tournament-community transfer, I still have a bunch of ties to the PS / Subforum communities, which has led to a bunch of questions about how to get drafted and what SPL is like. For their sake, I've written up a short guide on a few types of players you are likely to see in SPL:
The Martin Luther King JR (this one is me btw)
It's a Wednesday, you're tired from school, have a shit load of homework to do and no motivation to do it. The weather outside is shitty, nobody feels like hanging out, and you're looking for a way to procrastinate your obligations. "Pokemon seems like a good idea," you think to yourself as you log onto Skype to check whats going on in your team chat to goof off for a few hours.
Lucky you, though, you're about the receive a poorly constructed attempt at a motivational speech that the great doctor himself would probably be proud of. The
MLK JR knows no appropriate timing - your team doesn't even have a game today, btw - but he's there doing his damn well best to get everyone FIRED UP for the week. Nevermind his 1-2 record, or the fact that the most notable leadership position he's held before IRL was sitting in the front row of his Pre-Calc class, this man will move heaven and earth to get you to build a solid balance squad for Sunday night.
While the
MLK JR can be a little... over-the-top, he means well, and really wants to see your team succeed, just has no idea when or how to help that.
The Super Sub
Well, you're managing a team in playoff contention and it's Sunday night at 8 PM EST and it turns out your enigmatic ADV player has decided to go missing again. Luckily, his opponent is an irate German / French / other EST + a billion nationality player, so it's looking real grim that he's going to wait up any longer to let you get the game in. The backup isn't available, so it's time to turn to
The Super Sub.
"Hey, buddy, could you play ADV this week?" you ask with 2 minutes till game-time, with it not crossing your mind that he's had nothing resembling adequate preparation.
The Super Sub looks tentatively at his November 2015 join date, wondering how the fuck he got drafted in the first place, before giving a fakely-enthusiastic "sure thing chief" back to the manager. A few minutes later, he's up against some STour + OST + SPL + WCOP champ in a tier where he only vaguely knows the mechanics using a sample team where he changed one mon with a dex set. Better than nothing, right?
The Super Sub is almost always a good guy - he's just happy to be there, but he gets put in some shit situations. He's almost always put in the unenviable spot of playing a vastly unfamiliar tier, a fact that the entire SmogTours chat is more than happy to forget as they type out "LOL" or "HES SO SHIT" as our boy makes the wrong play.
The Super Sub's best plan of action is likely to continue doing his best and working when needed, as a key post-season shoutout about his work "behind the scenes" will increase his value in the next draft by at least 1-2k.
The Vincent Chase
Forget about trying to schedule with this guy if you have even the slightest bit of conflict. Contrary to popular belief, some Elite-Pokemon-Online players actually have a schedule so busy it'd make Obama feel lazy. You'll know you're playing with a
Vincent Chase when you post on their wall asking for a time to meet up and receive a litany of issues before even coming close to picking just a day.
You might be thinking "well, what if I just list out huge swaths of time, and let them pick?" Fat chance, bro.
Vinny is liable to become ultra-busy at the drop of a hat, part and parcel of having a movie star's level of a social life. Your conversation with this guy will often go like this:
You: hey man, i'm free monday-friday btwn 4PM - 11PM EST, let me know if you can play during those times
Them: friday.
You: Okay sounds good, any particular time so I don't have to be on the computer all day?
Them: *doesn't respond until Sunday night*
You: *on Friday to a SmogTours chat seemingly obsessed with playing nonstop Monotype Random Battles* hey does anyone know where
Vincent Chase is?
Scheduling this game is only half the battle though - you'll NEVER be able to call activity on this dude, because he's got PokeLawyers backing him up every step of the way. The best you can hope for is that he'll be so distracted from his wild life that he brings a sub-par team to your game played 2 days and 10 hours passed when you had scheduled as you struggle to stay away because you have to get to bed for work in 4 hours.
The Luis Suarez
You've never seen anything like this! Faced with an almost impossible matchup, your teammate is playing out of his mind to keep himself in the game. He's missed Fire Blasts, Hydro Pumps, he's gotten full para'd and his Latios counter is fast asleep but he's not giving up yet. He's doubling, tripling like someone threatened him with death should he get one 50/50 wrong, and even though you can't see it, he knows that second spike he made seven-plays-in-a-row for is going to be vital for his wincon.
It's 6-5, and you've gotta win to stay alive for playoff contention. SmogTours is going nuts as this man plays like nobody has seen before, and all of a sudden, he wins. All the pressure, all the luck against him, all the matchup and it still didn't matter -
Luis Suarez came through when it most mattered. You breath a sigh of relief and head into the SmogTours lobby to revel in the victory with the rest of the community.
It doesn't take long though:
Luis Suarez: Fuck you fucking (BAN ME PLEASE)s, this game is actually too easy, not even a challenge for me
TournamentGuy69: Relax Suarez all I'm saying is you actually misplayed bla bla bla
Luis Suarez: You're a fucking piece of shit dude, you are garbage at this game and you've never had any success etc.
This goes on for hours.
Luis Suarez doesn't get tired of arguing, ever, while his opponents tag one another in like a WWE match. For your part, it's a bit tricky - you figure keeping quiet might be best, because it's circular arguing always, but you can't help but jump in - he might be abrasive, he might attack other people, but you'll be damned if you don't let the entire community know that
Luis Suarez is the best to ever do it. So long as he keeps winning, you'll gladly defend this man before anyone.
The Guy Who Views SPL As A Transformative Experience
You'll see a lot of this guy if you start breaking into the Tour scene prior to SPL season. He's the one telling you after you win Round 5 of OST "yeah, well played, but that's nothing compared to the type of opponent's you'll face if you get drafted". At the time, especially if you're new, it seems like helpful advice - you might even start thinking "wow I'll have to step up my game to compete with the best of the best".
But it won't take long to realize there's something a little wrong with his perception here. You finally make it to SPL and give your all in the games you do play, ending with a pretty good record. Later in the season, when things are wrapped up, you miss a week as your sister had her first child, and you come back to find that your team has won and you're moving onto playoffs. Happy that you didn't cause them to drop a game, you enter the chat ready to talk a little bit about non-Mons life:
You: Yeah, it was a really incredible day, my whole family was so excited
TGWVSAATE: Dude i know exactly what you're saying, we felt the same way after MoP won a tiebreaker so that we clinched 4th in week 8 in SPL 3
Little things like that will start to add up, and you'll sort of wonder what exactly is going on in this dudes head.
IBM's Supercomputer Watson Disguised As A Slightly-Below-Average Ladder Player
This guy is unbelievable! You've never SEEN someone as good as him at calling-plays after they've already happened! This man knows deep down that he without a doubt would have went to Gyara on a Raikou in order to not let Heatran get up rocks - it was so simple to make that play on Turn 18, when it's Turn 19. Actually - that's another thing - why are all the teams he is seeing so shitty? He knows he could, and has, built better than that in the past, so it doesn't make a lot of sense.
Sporting a 1350 ELO, 72 GXE and 1430 games played on the UU ladder, this guy is
pretty confident he knows what he's talking about. Never shy to voice his opinion in the lobby chat, he's convinced that the only reason he wasn't drafted was because SPL really is just a popularity contest. If it wasn't, surely ShakeItUp or BKC or Vinc or one of the other managers would have noticed his multiple 1st place finishes in the Other Metagames Next Best Thing thread. Sigh - whatever - next time, when they're looking for an RU player at mids, he'll be sure to apply, afterall who could turn down someone apparently gifted with the ability to read the future if its already taken place?
