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cardiac cats
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So let me tell you a story. Back when Cyclohm came out, I had grown tired of laddering on a dead ladder. Pokemon was boring, dry, and uninspired. Everyone was using offensive teams, and I was no exception. So I made one final team, a quirky stall team that got ripped apart by any decent player, but was useful against random people who challenged me with ubers.

Then, Colossoil came out. I tried to adapt my team to the new metagame, with no dice. The ladder was starting to pick up, so I really tried to make a team. They all sucked. Nevertheless, I kept trying. However, every team I made was uninspired and was absolutely crushed. So I went back to the drawing board once again. This team is the end result. Some of you have seen it, some of you haven't. Consider this a retirement though, since everyone who counts knows it.

Shout-out to Gen. Empoleon, he helped me with the original version of the team (which I then bastardized into this). He also named this.

At a glance:

The team:


Ability: Hyper Cutter
EVs: 252 HP/36 Atk/220 Spd
Jolly nature (+Spd, -SAtk)
~ Stealth Rock
~ U-turn
~ Earthquake
~ Taunt

No Roost? No room. Earthquake is useful as a check to Metagross, Heatran, Lucario, and Cyclohm (sorta). Stealth Rock and Taunt are why this is on my team though, since I need to stop residual damage from going up early in the match, to keep the rest of my team as healthy as possible. U-turn is so that after I Taunt and set up SR, I can get out and go to another member of the team (usually Skarmory). I usually don't like outright sacrificing Gliscor, since it's pretty integral to my strategy of spike-stacking and preventing the opponent's set up. When it goes down, I have a lot harder time playing around things like Blissey or Skarmory, since it can just set up on me easy. The Speed EVs are to outspeed +Speed base 90's and everything that sits one point above. (It also ties neutral natured Mismagius but who uses Mismagius, let alone neutral natured ones? I digress.)


Ability: Keen Eye
EVs: 252 HP/4 Def/252 SDef
Careful nature (+SDef, -SAtk)
~Brave Bird

Oh hey look it's the completely unexpected Skarmory! It serves multiple purposes on my team: set up Spikes bit by bit, phaze out threats like Gyarados and Salamence locked into Outrage, and check Tyranitar and Colossoil. I couldn't stand how much damage it was taking from the likes of Vaporeon and Blissey though, and I wanted it to take random special attacks better, so it's special defensive. Now, Blissey's Flamethrower is barely a 3hko, and Vaporeon's Surf can't 2hko really. The only thing I'm debating on Skarm is whether or not I should drop Brave Bird for Taunt and boost it's speed a bit. I'm leaning towards no, I like being able to do something while Taunted (though I will usually switch out).


Ability: Water Absorb
EVs: 188 HP/252 Def/68 SAtk
Bold nature (+Def, -Atk)
~ Wish
~ Surf
~ Hidden Power [Electric]
~ Protect

Fun fact: I used to run Ice Beam over Protect. I was then rampaged by a Gyarados early in my testing, and I found I couldn't heal myself easily at all. So, I put Protect back. Anyway, standard Vaporeon because I am really Heatran, Mixape, and Gyarados weak without it. It also heals my team, which is really useful to Heatran in particular, since it just sits there and keeps subbing as much as possible. I'm considering changing Vaporeon to a spinner, but it's an outside possibility since the only thing that can spin and Wish is Fidgit, and that opens up a whole other can of worms.


Ability: Limber
EVs: 16 HP/240 Atk/252 Spd
Jolly nature (+Spd, -SAtk)
~ Will-o-wisp
~ Superpower
~ ShadowStrike
~ Substitute

Shitsunoh? On tennisace's team? No, this isn't madness (nor sparta). Consider this an olive branch to Mag, Kitsunoh is absolutely invaluable on this team. It spinblocks, it cripples physical attackers, and it beats down annoying Pokemon, forcing them to switch with defense drops. The defense drops also allow me to bluff Pursuit on Tyranitar (which would be useful but more on that later). There isn't much else to say about this, I just Sub and let it rip!


Ability: Flash Fire
EVs: 4 HP/252 Spd/252 SAtk
Timid nature (+Spd, -Atk)
~ Fire Blast
~ Earth Power
~ Substitute
~ Roar

My team needed firepower (pun intended), so I added Heatran. It allows me to rack up damage since even resisted Fire Blasts hurt a ton. Sub allows me to come in on opposing Skarmory, Jirachi, or Foretress, and see the opponent's next Pokemon. Roar, in conjunction with Substitute and Spikes/SR, allows me to rack up some damage on things like Blissey and Vaporeon, while they break my Sub. Eventually, they're in KO range for the next member of my team.


Ability: Sand Stream
EVs: 164 Atk/248 Spd/96 SAtk
Hasty nature (+Spd, -Def)
~ Crunch
~ Stone Edge
~ Flamethrower
~ Earthquake

The janitor of the team, Tyranitar cleans up the little messes that are left at the end of the battle. However, I usually bring it out mid-game first to revenge kill, then clean up later. It easily revenge kills Latias, Starmie, Gengar, Kitsunoh, weakened Skarmory, ect. The list goes on and on. It's integral to make up for some of the lost power, which is where the Spikes and SR come in.

Anyway, that's the team. The only threat I've been unable to play around is Stratagem, which absolutely annihilates every member of my team (especially when Vaporeon is weakened). Then again, Stratagem annihilates a lot of things!
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