Hello guys this my second RMT. I wanted to share this team since it is probably my favorite team so far(but I guess "favorite" teams comprise the bulk of RMTs) but also because even though I am quite confident in my ability to create good synergy and effective strategies, sometimes I overlook threats(mostly because I choose to ignore them) and I am not very good with EV spreads. Now lets see the team in a nutshell: Team Building This is going to sound very mundane but I came up with the idea for this team at work. I was just spacing out(I am good at my job so I can do this things XD) thinking I wanted to build a team that was annoying but functional. Now when one thinks "annoying" first thing that pops to mind is our first and foremost paraflincher: Jirachi. As I was thinking of more unorthodox annoying Pokemon to pair up with Jirachi I came to a Pokemon with perfect synergy with Jirachi. And the beauty of it is that it is not just the fact that each other resist the other weakness, but this gem can spread paralysis in the most annoying way: parashuffling. And so we have Dragonite . This was the core strategy that I built upon. Now next thing I decided upon was the fact that in order to abuse their synergy I needed to be able to constantly switch between the two, but then Dragonite's Multiscale would be broken and losing 25% of my HP on switching is of course a huge problem. So a spinner was needed and I considered Forretress. His main pull was the fact that he could take physical hits better than the other two, spin hazards and sets spikes or rocks. So I had him be my spinner originally. But then came the second breakthrough. A lot of people have made annoying paraflinch teams. Millions of them. They are fun to use as they create rage, but they're only mildly successful at best since they rely on subpar Pokemon to "annoy" rather than a concrete strategy. And then I decided to abuse paralysis in another way, turning to a beast known only as Haxorus. Haxorus is a total beast but it is held back a little by mediocre speed, however on a team specializing on spreading paralysis this is not a factor. If the strategy works then you should always have the edge on speed. Now I had a new goal and so Forretress became less appealing. I let him go to introduce a much more reliable hazard setter, Ferrothorn, since hazards of my own became more important to aid Haxorus on a sweep. Plus he has access to Thunder Wave, further strengthening my foundation. I still needed a spinner though,and I opted for Starmie. I will elaborate why on the in-depth individual description since it is a bit less obvious why. At this point I was looking around guides and searching for holes in my team frantically. I had not even tested the team but I wanted to thoroughly test it out in my mind(such was my boredom). I had various ways to deal with situations, some less obvious than others. All in all, I wanted good special attack, I also wanted a spinblocker. I thought of Gengar logically. However Gengar did not bring enough juice. And plus, he is quite fast already. So I summoned from the Lost Dimension of UU a power forgotten since the early days of BW... Chandelure. In-Depth Lets take a look at the roles of the players Fate Sealer(Jirachi)@ Leftovers Serene Grace Careful Nature EVs: HP/252 SpDef/220 Spd/36 Stealth Rock Iron Head Body Slam Wish Alright then here it is opening the show! The star that inspired the whole thing, the single most annoying(and cute, yes FORGET YOU KELDEO) Pokemon in OU. He is a pretty solid Pokemon that we have all faced at least once. If by any chance you have not let me tell you, this guy is a terror to face. After you are paralyzed he will ram his head on you so hard you will not move ever again! Or at least for that turn. Most turns. He is the undeniable King of Hax and his name Fate Sealer goes great with him for this. However he is NOT a sweeper, this team relies on his Wish support, resistances and of course Stealth Rock. Body Slam was chosen over Thunder Wave for one simple reason, Ground Types. His bulk is nothing to scoff at as he even resists Earthquakes from some prominent Phys attackers(e.g. Terrakion, Garchomp), as long as they do not have a boosting nature(though why the hell are you letting him take them in the first place sheesh) He is a great check for Keldeo, Latios and most Special attackers that don't carry fire. Now, he is a supporter first but he hits decently enough to let him take care of paralyzed opponents that can't OHKO him. Sacred Guard(Dragonite)@ Leftovers Multiscale Careful Nature EVs: HP/252 Atk/4 SpDef/252 Thunder Wave Roost Substitute Dragon Tail Dragonite! Oh how he has rejoiced in the power of his Multiscale. This nifty ability has made him a powerful dragon with impressive tanking abilities, so long as u keep SR off the field. He can take ice attacks ONLY if he is at full health, and even then something like a Blizzard or Icicle Smash will obliterate him. Cloyster, Kyurem and Mamoswine will sock him, the last two however can be stopped by a Sub and you can keep them away by swatting them with Dragon Tail damaging them and giving you a turn. most special attackers will only tickle him, and if you set up and manage to roost it can be hard to get him down from his cloud. Now this set is not a very common one so a lot of players don't know what to do of it(which is part of his its charm) however you can't rely on this. Para, subroost then phaze. As a side strategy you can phaze around after u have rocks up. I have not just won battles like this, but after paralyzing and phazing away half the team and making them take repeated SR and/or spikes damage it is pretty much gg. Doom Bringer(Haxorus)@ Choice Band Mold Breaker Adamant Nature EVs: HP/36 Atk/252 Spd/220 Dual Chop Outrage Earthquake Superpower Aaaaah Haxorus. Seeing him makes anyone gasp, at the sheer power and at the manly coolness that emanates from him.Plus his shiny sprite is BLACK! I like black. Anyhow Haxorus is the reason this team became viable and he pretty much set me in the right path, the path of destruction. Annoying people with parahax is all well and good but it is just that, an annoyance. But with Haxorus in play being paralyzed is no longer just an annoyance. It's scary. Haxorus overwhelming power means that even steel types that resist his Dragon STAB are dented. About the only thing that can stop his rampage is Skarmory as he is not hit heavily by anything bar Superpower, and only so much, so he can Roost away the damage. Because of Mold breaker Levitate users can't escape his Earthquakes(in your face Gengar) and Sturdy users can't survive his hits either (umad Magnezone?). Dual Chop's accuracy is a little shaky but the ability to break subs is worth it. Also, it hits harder than Dragon Claw and doesn't lock u into Outrage. That being said, if you need to punch a hole in a team in order to let the rest of the team thrive, Outrage away. An Outrage from Haxorus is quite horrifying to behold and will reduce to dust anything that does not resist it. I mean 648 Atk is nothing to scoff at when the attack is over 120 power(thank YOUUUU STAB) But you all know this. Otherwise he is pretty straightforward. Since by the time u take him out all faster threats and troublesome steel types should be out, you just use the appropriate attack to obliterate the opponent.On a side note, Haxorus is not really slow, so he can still pull of sweeps if most faster threats are eliminated. Shield of Thorns(Ferrothorn)@ Leftovers Iron Barbs Impish Nature EVs: HP/252 Def/88 SpDef/168 Power Whip Spikes Leech Seed Thunder Wave Ferrothorn has a set of resistances that along with his movepool make him ideal to provide this team with Spikes support. He is pretty simple to use so instead I will explain my choice in moves. A lot of people for example like Gyro Ball, however Gyro Ball and T. Wave do not mix. I mean, seriously people we are trying to make them slow. This is also the reason he is Impish instead of relaxed. Truly he won't be out-speeding almost anything but, hey why make it less probable? Leech Seed is a general annoyance and Power Whip provides u an attack so as not to be Taunt bait. Ferro also deals with Rain teams very well, and Tentacruel will have a hard time getting past him to spin away(unless he burns with Scald) not to mention if he does spins he will lose HP too. Some people like Rocky Helmet over Leftovers, it is viable I guess since Leech Seed recovery makes up for it a wee bit. But to be honest he is usually the sleep fodder, first one to be sacked kind of deal. If he sets a layer of spikes and cripples a pair of pokes, he did a great job. Soul Cleaner(Starmie)@ Leftovers Natural Cure Timid Nature EVs: HP/4 SpAtk/252 Spd/252 Hydro Pump Thunderbolt Ice Beam Rapid Spin Starmie is hands down the best offensive spinner. However, other bulkier Pokemon could probably do a great job specially on this team where we aim to abuse paralysis so slower spinners could get an edge too. However, Starmie is here not just to spin but as a plan B. Starmie nails Pokemon like Landorus, Terrakion and other speedy threats that are harder to paralyze. Really only scarf users are an issue here. Starmie is the only fast Pokemon here and it is a good thing too, hence the name Soul Cleaner. Not just cleaning hazards, but the whole field, Pokemon and all. Options for her include a Modest Nature if you think her speed will be enough(I used to run this in keep of the whole paraabuse theme) and changing Leftovers for Life Orb. However, Life Orb will reduce your life span and you really want to get the hazards away to let Chandelure and Dragonite switch freely. Also, losing 10% of your life to spin hazards is ridiculous >_>. IF you think it's worth it Starmie too has access to Thunder Wave which has some potential use. When I first made the team I actually let her have it, but I rarely ever had the luxury to T.wave with her. Then again, it is viable. Shadow Guard(Chandelure)@ Leftovers Flash Fire Modest Nature EVs: HP/252 SpAtk/252 Def/4 Substitute Shadow Ball Fire Blast Hidden Power Fighting From the shadows of UU this ghost rises to engulf my opponents with his Ghostly Flames.Flash Fire is handy to have since I carry two steel types(Ferro being 4x weak) although the other 3 also resist so not of the utmost importance. I actually can not wait for Shadow Guard to come out as it'll make an interesting option for this team, trapping Skarm and others. However that is not so yet. Fire Blast is insanely strong if you get a Flash Fire boost. He can battle Heatran on even grounds, beating him unless he has Earth Power(rare on today's metagame). He also destroys Steel types in general. Rocks hurt him so taking them off is the healthiest way to use him. Best thing about sub+3moves is the fact most people see Chandy and think Choice.I can't blame them since that is the safest bet, and I considered it myself. But because I considered it is that I opted for this, he forces a lot of switches and is quite handy behind a sub, earning u at least a turn. Options might include HP Ground to OHKO SpDef Heatran without Air Balloon, or HP Rock to nail Volcarona who is a bitch to this team. Troublesome Strategies and Specific Threats Rain Teams: Rain is always a factor. Every team HAS to be prepared for rainy days or you will be destroyed. This team carries 4 Pokemon that work well in Rain: Dragonite, Jirachi, Starmie and Ferrothorn. Ferrothorn specially is a great asset when fighting rain teams, Chandelure can take care of opposing Ferrothorns or Scizors but otherwise sack him. Starmie has Thunderbolt to destroy watertypes and Hydro Pump is All-Mighty under the rain, specially if you opt for LO instead of Leftovers. Dragonite is another common threat under the rain that Starmie destroys. Tentacruel dies to either Ferro or Starmie. I usually do not have any trouble with rain teams. Even the odd Latios falls, as Ferro resists all his common moves. I am actually more scared of him outside of rain since he tends to carry HP Fire. Sun Teams: Ugh Sun is problematic. Dragonite works ok on the sun but Ferro, Starmie and Jirachi not so much. Chandelure is the hero here. Ferro will be sacked eventually. Ninetales isn't much of a threat really u can kill it easily most of the time, I mean honestly she is horrible she is just there to set up Sun and the only troublesome move she can carry is Hypnosis. Heatran, as I mentioned earlier, should fall to Chandelure unless it carries Earth Power which is not popular but not unheard of. Volcarona though, she is a bitch. And I mean it. Best bet is to paralyze her with Dragonite then procceed to erase her with Haxorus. Otherwise she will destroy your team after a few Quiver Dances. This holds true out of rain too. Venusaur, oh dear what to say of him. He is to Sun teams like tires to cars. Just let Ferro be put to sleep then para him. As soon as he is paralyzed he is dead meat as his stats aren't really spectacular. Trick Room: This is a complicated match up. Trick Room is, after all, a different approach to the same general strategy(making fast Pokemon slower). Thus making them slower is besides the point. However, since they're slower than u already u can go ahead and make them slower. Hax is always a good thing to have, even if you can't count on it. Since I don't run a Taunt user I am left with trying to kill them before they can set it. Dragonite is good here since he will always set a sub, T-wave and just stall out trick room and phaze. Haxorus can still work as he can put a huge dent on a lot of Trick Room setters. Dusclops and Bronzong are the only true issues, but Chandelure should outspeed and destroy both. Ferrothorn is Handy, but Conkeldurr will set up on his ass(though if you predict right you can leech seed him) NEVER paralyze Conkeldurr. I mean seriously do not paralyze any Guts Pokemon. This should be common sense but I wanted to stress it. Reuniclus, Slowbro well they both die to Chandelure and even Haxorus. Hail Teams Hail is the dark horse weather. However it is dangerous towards two of my best men, Haxorus and Dragonite. However if you set up rocks you already have a great advantage and Jirachi is great against Hail. Mamoswine is the only troublesome beast as it can destroy Jirachi and the latter is the only one that can paralyze him with Body Slam.So against Mamoswine well, Starmie all the way. Kyurem-B can be a menacing thing but he is usually walled by steel types. Sand Teams I love Sand. But in this case I hate it. Ok now that I am in the right mindset, Tyranitar's mix set can be a troublesome thing as BAM Fire Blast on Ferro and BAM Ice Beam on Dragonite and Haxorus and BAM Crunch on Starmie and Chandelure. Haxorus can obliterate him with Superpower, Jirachi can play him with Iron Head. Hippowdon is easier to take down, just use Starmie. sand teams are mostly comprised of ground, steels and rocks. Rock and Steel types should not be a problem,Ground types however are always a bad thing against this team. Seriously all Ground types can be problematic. But you can play around them with the one and only Starmie. Otherwise you will have to be gutsy and clever with the rest, Ferrothorn has some usage and on the slower ones even Chandelure can leave a dent because most have horrible SpDef. Gastrodon however is a bitch if you don't have Ferrothorn around and if he is a bad thing for you well, run Energy Ball on Chandelure. Otherwise your best bet is hazard damage and a quick Haxorus assault. Volt Turn Since this team relies on switching a lot, Volturn is a tacky way to stop it. If he keeps Volturning, don't switch. Clerics: Ok so clerics are not popular but they're the single worst thing that can happen to you besides Pokemon with Natural Cure, Taunt or Substitutes. They heal all the team, and all your efforts of paralyzing their team are done so what I do is I para a couple, but don't go overboard. He should have a chance to get hiscleric and heal and if he does then work to eliminate him. This is why I want Shadow Tag since Celebi will die to Chandelure. Celebi is kinda bad, u can Ice Beam him or try Shadow Ball/Fire Blast from Chandelure. The pink blobs, Chansey and Blissey, are just as troublesome but Ferrothorn can outstall them and Power Whip will punish both. To top it all, all the clerics I listed have Natural Cure. So have fun with those. Alakazam He is a perfect example off Pokemon that will fall to this strategy. A paralyzed Alakazam is death fodder and Haxorus can overcome Sash versions with Dual Chop. Lati@s I put them together because you will deal with them the same way. Paralyze them at all costs and they're dead. Breloom Be wary of this fungi. Spore is a nasty move, and his Technician boosted attacks are no joke. Whats the more Toxic Heal variants cant be paralyzed. However, SubPunch variants are slower than Haxorus and he will destroy him with Dual Chop. Techniloom on the other hand, well let him put one to sleep then throw Chandelure, he is your safest bet. Cloyster Jirachi or Ferrothorn should be able to take any attack of his, even after Shell Smash. Jirachi can attempt to paralyze him, if he succeeds its a win for Jirachi. Ferrothorn can opt to paralyze him or Power Whip him. Power Whip won't OHKO White Herb variants. Garchomp Ferrothorn, or if scarfed Jirachi should paralyze him. Best thing that can happen he locks into Outrage before you lose Jirachi and you can switch and attempt to paralyze him with your body slam. Espeon He is an annoyance. Eliminate him at all costs. Chandelure, Haxorus, Jirachi are all good for this. Last Words: This team is played like a chess match. You are playing to get an advantage all the time, in this case making them slow. Accurate prediction and play is needed in the opening of the match but in the end game you should have a sizable advantage.It is a gambit team, do not be scared to lose a Pokemon here or there for the greater good. If the clerics and Natural Curers are removed, just focus on paralyzing everything.If you see a Pokemon you know will be hard to deal with, try not to lose your safest counter but otherwise be reckless, switch and predict away. I cannot stress how important it is to play with the end game in mind, I have lots of matches with this team in which it looks like they'll 6-0 me but it is all an illusion. The synergy is important because again, you will be switching a lot. This team plays a lot like a stall team in that sense,you have to bide your time let the opponent make a mistake. Last piece of useful advise with this team is a simple one, punch a hole. Solid players with solid teams are always hard to bring down. I can see a lot of "ifs" when I see an opposing team. Poke around until you find the best "if" and punch a hole in his team. Then absolutely abuse the Pokemon that he can't counter anymore and voila, magic victory.Thanks for reading it and I am open to suggestions, I will however debate them so be prepared to defend your suggestion. Its nothing personal I just think that debating an option lets me filter the ones I want to test out. Once again, thanks for reading and nowwww SHOOT!