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VERY ATROCIOUS RUTHLESS KILLAZ

Discussion in 'Smogon's Greatest Hits' started by Sarenji, Apr 6, 2009.

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  1. Sarenji

    Sarenji leaf-faced
    is a Battle Server Admin Alumnusis a Programmer Alumnusis a Forum Moderator Alumnusis a Researcher Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnus

    Joined:
    May 16, 2005
    Messages:
    362
    It all started one Sunday evening when kelley graced #smogon with his presence.

    * kelley has joined #smogon
    * kelley is now known as kelley[just_gone_done_working_
    * kelley[just_gone_done_working_ is now known as kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]

    Apparently he felt the need to inform us of his manly pecs. The chat, oblivious, continues. Four minutes later, kelley cannot take it anymore, and spams this message:

    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> FUCK SMOGON THEY SUCK FUCK CHAOS HE DRINKS HIS OWN PISS AND HAS SEX WITH 6 YEAR OLD LITTLE BOYS FUCK HAZERIDER HE EATS POOP AND WEARS DIAPERS SINCE HE CANT USE A TOILET FUCK MEKKAH HE LIKES TO LICK PORTA POTTY SEATS AND EAT THE TOILET PAPER IN PORTA POTTIES FUCK SMOGON IM GONNA MAKE MY OWN SHODDY SERVER AND POKEMON SITE THAT WILL BE WAY BETTER WITH MORE PEOPLE YOU ASKED FOR IT FOR PISSING ME AND MY CLAN OFF

    * Misty sets mode: +b *!*@cpe-74-73-251-136.nyc.res.rr.com
    * kelley[justgonedoneworkingout] was kicked by Misty (Misty)

    Furious at Misty’s injustice, kelley assaults Hazerider in PM instead.

    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> fuck you
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> CLAN VARK > SMOGON
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> WE WILL KILL YOU IN ANY BATTLE WE ARE THE BEST AND WE ARE GONNA MAKE A NEW SITE
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> WHATS THE MATTER TOO SCARED TO TALK BACK, I BET SO
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> THATS RIGHT NOW YOU LEARNED NEVER TO MESS WITH ANY VERY ATROCIOUS RUTHLESS KILLAZ EVER AGAIN DIAPER WEARING FREAK HOPE IT WAS WORTH IT
    <Hazerider> okay

    Hazerider did a /whois and found our friend kelley was an operator in channel #VARK. Shiv decides to join! He is greeted by this topic.

    * Topic is 'VERY ATROCIOUS RUTHLESS KILLAZ - www.clanvark.com under construction it will be the new best pokemon page ever far better then smogon so if you want a real po kemon website and message board and chat and shoddy battle server then look no farther than CLAN VARK'

    I did a whois.net search just now, and the clanvark.com domain is not even registered. Talk about under construction.

    * kelley[justgonedoneworkingout] changes topic to '-=[VARK]=- VERY ATROCIOUS RUTHLESS KILLAZ - www.clanvark.com under construction but will be best pokemon website out there far better than smogon'

    Oh, so that’s what VARK is. However, Shiv disagrees with this title. Despite not being an op, he feels the need to speak his problems.

    * Shiv changes topic to 'my balls hurt'

    Looks like kelley hadn’t set +t! kelley changed it back and soon revealed his missions for VARK.

    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> VARK's #1 mission is to provide a great competitive and high level pokemon community and environment to all trainers
    <Vincent> what will vark do about shiv's problem though
    <Vincent> I think it needs to be addressed first
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> but VARK's #2 mission is to take down smogon and their morons and this mission is just as important as mission #1

    I too had felt the injustice of Smogon and had to join.

    * Now talking in #VARK
    <Shiv> Sarenji welcome to VARK.
    <Shiv> I am the founder of clan VARK.
    <Shiv> if you wish to join my clan, please PM me.

    Meanwhile, kelley, no mean Pokémon trainer himself, decided to start listing profiles of VARK members.

    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> CLAN LEADA: kelley - Best trainer in the clan, Favorite Pokemon: Arceus, Favorite Type: Steel, Badge: Killer Badge
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> CLAN ASSISTANT LEADA: charizard843 - 2nd best trainer, Favorite Pokemon: Charizard, Favorite Type: Fire, Badge: Smoke Badge
    * obi has joined #VARK

    <Shiv> CLAN LEADA: Shiv - Champion.

    Shiv’s cruel imitation of kelley’s profiles goes unnoticed, but then kelley is ignoring the entire chat anyway.

    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> CLAN GENERAL: mikey93, 3rd in command, Favorite Pokemon: Darkrai, Favorite Type: Dark, Badge: Krai Badge
    <Shiv> CLAN DUNCE: kelley - biggest idiot in the clan, Favorite Pokemon: Arceus, Favorite Type: Steel, Badge: I-Suck-Ass Badge
    * kelley[justgonedoneworkingout] sets mode: +b *!*@I.KIL.YOU
    * Shiv was kicked by kelley[justgonedoneworkingout] (dumg ass)

    Shiv the dumg ass is vanquished. It turns out he was only an imposter, and not actually the clan leader!

    <obi> Hey kelley
    <obi> It looks like you're being overwhelmed by these idiots
    <obi> need some help moderating the channel?

    obi offers his help for future incidents, but kelley is still posting profiles.

    <obi> kelley
    <obi> Are you there?
    <obi> You seem like you need help stopping these guys

    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> CLAN GIRL: sweetiepie, best girl in da clan. She is very hot and my current GF, She will kill any smogon in pokemon. Favorite Pokemon: Jigglypuff, Favorite Type: Water, Badge: Hearthrob Badge

    kelley shows the profile his girlfriend, sweetiepie. She is, in fact, a member of his clan, and plays Pokémon! However, upon hearing of kelley’s girlfriend, obi is furious.

    <obi> what!?
    <obi> Hold on just a second mister
    <obi> She's MY girlfriend
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> excuse me
    <obi> Don't tell her I said this
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> EXCUSE ME
    <obi> But she's only moderately attractive
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> sweetiepie knows ONE MAN
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> and thats me
    <obi> Yeah
    <obi> Me
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> FUCK YOU
    <obi> No
    <obi> She knwos me
    <obi> Biblically
    * kelley[justgonedoneworkingout] sets mode: +b *!*@71-218-12-203.hlrn.qwest.net
    * obi was kicked by kelley[justgonedoneworkingout] (talkin bad bout my gf FUCK OFF )

    And obi bites the dust along with Shiv. Someone relays a message: the REAL location of VARK.

    <Neptune> For the real VARK, go to #therealVARK

    In #therealVARK, kelley joins and spams:

    * kelley[justgonedoneworkingout] (~serv@cpe-74-73-251-136.nyc.res.rr.com) has joined #therealVARK
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> GET THE FUCK OUT
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> FAKERS
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> NO ONE WILL BELIEVE THIS
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> AJDSFKASF
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> ASF
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> ASDF
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> AS
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> ASD
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> FASD
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> FSDA
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> F
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> ASDF
    <@Shiv> sorry
    <@Shiv> this is the true vark
    * kelley[justgonedoneworkingout] (~serv@cpe-74-73-251-136.nyc.res.rr.com) has left #therealVARK

    Back in #VARK:

    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> OK
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> BACK TO MY ROSTER

    However, Vineon refuses to hear the roster.

    <Vincent> ok time to pikadestruct
    <Vincent> o^_^o
    <Vincent> o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o
    <Vincent> o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o
    <Vincent> o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o

    For a fairly accurate portrayal of this attack (as well as the sheer amount of spamming in the channel), go no farther than my crappy geocities site.

    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> CLAN SLAVE: mewtwo_rules_2000, he just joined therefore must do clan training chores to get in, Favorite Pokemon: Shaymin, Favorite Type: Steel, Badge: Psy Badge
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> stop
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> STOP
    <Vincent> o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> I COMMAND YOU TO STOP
    <Vincent> ok sorry

    Vineon complies, but, like a heroin addict, must get his fix.

    <Vincent> o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o oo^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o oo^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o
    <Vincent> o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o oo^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o oo^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o^_^o o

    But kelley no longer seems to mind Vineon’s spam, perhaps affected by its cute looks. Shiv and Neptune invited kelley back into #therealVARK, and:

    * kelley[justgonedoneworkingout] has joined #therealVARK
    <@Shiv> ok
    <@Shiv> i think we have a problem
    <@Shiv> since we both have clans called VARK
    <@Shiv> i propose we merge our clans.
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> i unban you both but no talking trash

    He unbans them, but ignores Shiv’s offer!

    <@Shiv> what do you think of my offer kelley
    <@Shiv> seperate we are just men
    <@Shiv> fighting against each other to be the true leaders of VARK
    <@Shiv> together however, our numbers are huge
    <@Shiv> we shall destroy all that stands between us and complete dominance
    <@Shiv> and smogon? we will crush them.
    <@Shiv> what do you think kelley.

    No answer. Back in #VARK, kelley is still going on about his clan.

    * obi has joined #VARK
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> IN ORDER TO JOIN YOU MUST COMPLETE TRAINING CHORES WHICH IS RAISE 6 LEVEL 100 FULLY EV TRAINED POKEMON
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> AND THEY CANT BE THE SAME POKEMON
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> 6 DIFFERENT POKEMON
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> AND NO BAD POKEMON LIKE LUVDISK

    Luvdisc is so bad even kelley thinks so.

    <obi> If sweetiepie is your girlfriend...
    <obi> What is her name?
    <obi> Exactly
    <obi> Her name is Sarah
    * Shiv has joined #VARK
    <obi> And she's MY girlfriend

    The upstart obi is determined to upset kelley! But kelley decides to go on about profiles.

    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> MIKEY93 TRAINED 6 LEVEL 100S EV TRAINED TOO WITH ELECTRIVIRE, ARCEUS, DARKRAI, HITMONLEE, RHYPERIOR, ADN UMBREON
    <obi> >=(
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> ANOTHER TRAINING CHORE
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> YOU MUST RAISE 3 SHINIES AND EV TRAIN THEM
    <Shiv> kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]
    <Shiv> look at my offer
    <Shiv> do you agree with it.
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> OBI I TOLD YOU DONT TALK TRASH ABOUT MY GIRL FRIEND

    If kelley were a Pokémon, he’d be Regigigas.

    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> SHE IS HOTTER THEN YOUR FAKE GF
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> AND BETTER AT POKEMON
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> AND HER NAME IS BETH NOT SARAH

    obi defly wiggles out “her” first name.

    <obi> Her name is Sarah Beth Rodriguez
    <Sarenji> I KNOW A GIRL CALLED BETH
    <Sarenji> WHAT IS HER LAST NAME

    obi and I attempt to get her last name. Note that it’s clear I’m not Beth. This is important later.

    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> NO
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> HER NAME IS BETH GABLER

    Ah, here it is.

    <obi> Yes
    <obi> That's my girlfriend
    <Sarenji> OH MY GOD
    <Sarenji> I KNOW A BETH GABLER TOO
    <Shiv> I WILL ASK ONE LAST TIME
    <Shiv> DO YOU ACCEPT MY OFFER?

    obi, Shiv, and my voice was three of many in the channel, and kelley finally had enough.

    * kelley[justgonedoneworkingout] sets mode: +m
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> QUIET
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> TOO MUCH TALKING
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> EVERYONE EVERYONE SHUT UP
    * Vincent is now known as sorryman
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> OK
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> ONE AT A TIME
    * kelley[justgonedoneworkingout] sets mode: -m
    * sorryman is now known as Vincent

    <obi> OK
    <obi> me first

    But, in ignorance of obi, Shiv pastes his offer. kelley is intrigued!

    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> SHIV OBI HAS THE FLOOR RIGHT NOW NOT YOU
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> BUT SHIV I MIGHT MERGE WITH YOU IF YOU WANT
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> WAIT FOR THE WEBSITE TO GO UP IN A FEW DAYS
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> BUT ANY ANTI-SMOGON IS GOOD IN MY BOOKS TO JOIN VARK AS LONG AS YOU COMPLETE TRAINING
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> BUT SINCE YOU WANT TO MERGE I WONT MAKE YOU DO TRAINING
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> YOU WILL BE 2ND IN COMMAND AS MY CLAN CO LEADA
    <Shiv> kelley. I accept.
    <Shiv> It is truly an honour.
    <Shiv> Can I have ops so I can help you in running this channel?
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> OK WHEN WEBSITE GOES UP WE WILL GET ALL THE OFFICIAL HOOPLA DONE
    <Shiv> I agree.

    And then, finally responding to Shiv’s request...

    * kelley[justgonedoneworkingout] sets mode: +o Shiv

    Thus marked the end of kelley’s channel.

    * ChanServ sets mode: +nr
    * ChanServ sets mode: +q Shiv
    * Shiv changes topic to 'THIS IS MY CHANNEL NOW'
    * kelley[justgonedoneworkingout] was kicked by Shiv (get out)
    * kelley[justgonedoneworkingout] has joined #VARK
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> HEY
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> GIVE ME BACK MY @
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> NOW
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> OR ELSE
    <@Shiv> kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]
    <@Shiv> i will make you a deal
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> FUCKER
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> NOW
    * obi is now known as kellley
    <@Shiv> i will make you my clan CO-LEADA
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES
    <@Shiv> do you accept
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> HEY
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> NO ONE TELLS ME HOW TO RUN MY CLAN
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> I SAID ID MAKE YOU CO LEADA
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> NOT ME
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> I AM MAIN LEADA
    <kellley> I'm the real kellley
    <kellley> +o please
    <kellley> that kelley stole my identity
    <kellley> And my girlfriend
    <@Shiv> but now I OWN THIS CLAN
    <@Shiv> do you wish to be co-leada
    <@Shiv> i will make you co-leada
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> NO U DONT
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> U DONT OWN WEBSITE DAT IS UNDER CONSTRUC
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> YOU CAN DO ONE OF 2 THINGS
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> GIVE ME BACK MY @ AND CONTINUE TO BE CO LEADA
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> OR BE BANNED FROM VARK FOREVER

    Truly an ultimatum.

    <kellley> Guys stop
    <kellley> This is serious
    <kellley> I'm being attacked by IDENTITY THIEVES!

    Speaking of identity thieves...

    * Sarenji is now known as BethGabler
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> YOUR CALL
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> FUCK YOU SARENJI

    kelley, how could you? I’m your girlfriend! You shouldn’t treat me this way.

    <BethGabler> i am not sarenji
    <BethGabler> i am Beth Gabler
    <BethGabler> your girlfriend
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> BETH WOULD KICK YOUR ASS

    The chat is getting heated, as with Shiv’s annoyance.

    * Shiv sets mode: +v kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]
    * Shiv sets mode: +m
    <@Shiv> PEOPLE
    <@Shiv> LET US TALK
    <@Shiv> THEN YOU CAN TALK
    <@Shiv> kelley.
    <+kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> FUCK
    <@Shiv> I can give you the second in command spot
    <@Shiv> do you agree?
    <+kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> TELL BETHGABLER TO GET OUT
    <+kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> BETH IS CURRENTLY AT HER JOB RIGHT NOW
    <+kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> NOT ON IRC
    * kellley is now known as The_Real_Kellley
    <@Shiv> OH!
    <@Shiv> My girlfriend, beth is here!

    I was so offended by kelley’s allegations that I had to defend myself. But then, this was why I was cheating on him with Shiv.

    * BethGabler is now known as IHaveIRCAtWork
    <+kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> ME 2ND IN COMMAND?
    <+kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> IN MY OWN CLAN?
    <+kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> NO
    <@Shiv> here beth!
    * Shiv sets mode: +o IHaveIRCAtWork
    * IHaveIRCAtWork is now known as BethGabler
    <+kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> NO SHE DOESNT SHE WORKS AT BRAUMS

    How dare he doubt the loyalty of his girlfriend?

    <@BethGabler> i got on just for you, kelley
    <@BethGabler> i snuck onto the computer
    <@BethGabler> just
    <@BethGabler> for
    <@BethGabler> you

    Meanwhile Shiv presents another offer.

    <@Shiv> OK kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]
    <@Shiv> we can be JOINT first in command.
    <@Shiv> do you AGREE?
    <+kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> SHE WORKS AT BRAUMS
    <+kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> SHE CANT USE COMP
    <+kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> WHATEVER
    <+kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> SHIV
    <@BethGabler> THE MANAGER TOLD ME I COULD USE IT FOR A MOMENT
    <@BethGabler> HOW DARE YOU
    <+kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> NO ONE TELLS ME HOW TO RUN VARK BUT ME
    <+kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> DO YOU THINK THAT CURRENT VARK MEMBERSE WILL VIEW YOU AS LEADER
    <+kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> OR ME
    <@Shiv> LET US ASK THEM.
    <@Shiv> THEY WILL DECIDE
    <@Shiv> ONE BY ONE
    <@Shiv> BETH, PICK YOUR LEADER.

    This was a bit sudden. I was overwhelmed by this and other chats, and obi had just told me on MSN to voice him. So I did.

    <@BethGabler> i choose
    * BethGabler sets mode: +v The_Real_Kellley

    * Shiv sets mode: -o BethGabler
    <+kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> BETHGABLER IS A FAKE
    * Shiv sets mode: -m
    <+kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> THE REAL BETH GABLER WILL CHOOSE ME
    * Shiv sets mode: +o Vincent
    <@Vincent> I liked it best when kelley was elader
    <@Shiv> I LIKE VINCENT
    <+kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> SO DO I VINCENT
    <+kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> VINCENT KNOWZ WHAT HE IS TALKIN BOUT! MY MAN!

    My man, Vineon.

    * Shiv sets mode: +o The_Real_Kellley
    <@The_Real_Kellley> OK
    <@The_Real_Kellley> Shiv and I
    <@The_Real_Kellley> joint leadership
    <@Shiv> yes
    <@Shiv> kelley
    <@Shiv> we are joint leaders
    <@Shiv> peacefully co-operating
    <+kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> JOINT LEADERS I AM FINE WITH
    <@The_Real_Kellley> OK
    <@The_Real_Kellley> kelly has agreed

    Shiv enforces communism in this channel.

    * Shiv sets mode: +ooo Misty BethGabler Neptune
    * Shiv sets mode: +ooo Rory sweetpie Tornado_Sam
    * Shiv sets mode: +o TTS

    <@The_Real_Kellley> Shiv and I are joint leaders
    <@BethGabler> kelley, please
    <@BethGabler> i don't understand
    <@BethGabler> i thought you loved me
    * Shiv sets mode: -v kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]
    <@Shiv> The question is, WHAT DO WE DO WITH THIS FAKE KELLEY
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> SHE WORKS AT BRAUMS MORON
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> STOP
    <@Shiv> The_Real_Kellley, please ban the fake kelley
    * Mewtwo_Rules_2000 has joined #VARK

    Mewtwo_Rules_2000 is actually Neptune. He joins just in time before...

    * The_Real_Kellley sets mode: +b kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]!*@*
    * kelley[justgonedoneworkingout] was kicked by The_Real_Kellley (User terminated!)

    kelley, convinced Mewtwo_Rules_2000 is the real thing, PMs him.

    [00:08:44] <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> HEY MAN THOSE PEOPLPE ARE TRYING TO TAKE OVER VARK
    [00:08:49] <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> STOP THEM
    [00:09:01] <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> IF U DO I WILL PROMOTE YOU TO CLAN GENERAL AND MAKE YOU NOT DO ANY MORE TRAINING

    <@Shiv> oh man
    <@Shiv> this is awesome
    <@Shiv> he reminds me of team rocket
    <@Shiv> HEY!
    <@Shiv> THAT KID!
    <@Shiv> STOP HIM!


    [00:09:22] <Mewtwo_Rules_2000> WHAT THE HELL
    [00:09:38] <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> I KNOW WHATS GOING ON
    [00:09:52] <Mewtwo_Rules_2000> HOW CAN I STOP THEM
    [00:10:14] <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> TELL THEM TO GIVE ME BACK MY CHANNEL
    [00:10:18] <Mewtwo_Rules_2000> OK
    [00:10:46] <Mewtwo_Rules_2000> I SAID IT
    [00:10:52] <Mewtwo_Rules_2000> THEY ARE LAUGHING AT ME
    [00:12:00] <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> #CLANVARK
    [00:12:01] <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> NEW CHAN
    [00:12:04] <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> GO

    I had PMed him as well, desperate to prove I was his girlfriend.

    <BethGabler> its really me, beth. how can i give the channel back????
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> GO TO #CLANVARK
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> ITS THE NEW CHAN
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> ARE YOU OFF WORK?

    Wait, how did he believe me?

    * Now talking in #CLANVARK
    * Topic is '#CLANVARK REAL VARK #VARK IS FAKE '-=[VARK]=- VERY ATROCIOUS RUTHLESS KILLAZ - www.clanvark.com under construction it will be the new best pokemon page ever far better then smogon so if you want a real po kemon website and message board and chat and shoddy battle server then look no farther than CLAN VARK'

    A little too many VARKs here, I think.

    <BethGabler> hi kelley <3
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> BETH ARE YOU OFF WORK
    <BethGabler> for a moment
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> FOR HOW LONG
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> LONG ENOUGH TO FIGHT FOR VARK?
    <BethGabler> i hope so... i want to help you in any way i can
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> OK THANKS SO MUCH SEXY THATS WHY I LOVE YOU :) :) MUAH MUAH

    rofl

    <Mewtwo_Rules_2000> I AM AVAILABLE ALL TODAY TO DESTROY SMOGON
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> GOOD MEWTWO RULES
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> IF YOU HAVENT ALREADY GO TO #SMOGON AND MESS WITH THEIR USERS UNTIL YOU GET BANNED
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> TRY TO TYPE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE IN THEIR CHANNEL TO MESSS IT UP
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> FOR STARTERS

    Back in #VARK, the final act begins.

    * Rory sets mode: +f [1t]:100

    For the IRC-deprived, this means you can only type one line per 100 second, unless you are an operator. Thanks to Shiv, we all were. Except for kelley, that is.

    -betamax.dejatoons.net:@#VARK- Shiv invited kelley[justgonedoneworkingout] into the channel.
    * kelley[justgonedoneworkingout] has joined #VARK
    <@Shiv> kelley.
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> FUCKERS
    * kelley[justgonedoneworkingout] was kicked by betamax.dejatoons.net (Flooding (Limit is 1 lines per 100 seconds))
    * kelley[justgonedoneworkingout] has joined #VARK

    Strike one. (For the IRC-deprived, he tried to say something, and was kicked before he could speak, thanks to the line limit.)

    <@Shiv> kelley.
    <@Shiv> i can make you an offer
    <@Shiv> do you want this channel back?
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> YES
    <@Shiv> I will do it
    <@Shiv> but you have to do one thing for me
    <@Shiv> do you agree?
    <@Shiv> it is one small test
    <@Shiv> to see if you are strong enough
    <@Shiv> to be the clan leader
    <@Shiv> forever
    * kelley[justgonedoneworkingout] was kicked by betamax.dejatoons.net (Flooding (Limit is 1 lines per 100 seconds))
    * kelley[justgonedoneworkingout] has joined #VARK

    Strike 2.

    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> WHAT
    * kelley[justgonedoneworkingout] was kicked by betamax.dejatoons.net (Flooding (Limit is 1 lines per 100 seconds))
    * kelley[justgonedoneworkingout] has joined #VARK

    Strike 3.

    <@Shiv> OK KELLEY.
    <@Shiv> http://pastebin.com/f2ec7ad64
    <@Shiv> IF YOU PASTE THAT LINE
    <@Shiv> IWILL GIVE YOU THE CHANNEL BACK
    <@Shiv> IF YOU WANT THIS CHANNEL
    <@Shiv> I NEED YOU TO PROVE YOU ARE WORTHY.

    Because of an earlier spammer, the contents of that pastebin, if pasted, will ban you forever from DejaToons. Will kelley fall for this deceitful act? Will kelley prevail?

    * kelley[justgonedoneworkingout] has quit IRC (User has been banned from DejaToons (Botnet))
    <@Rory> HAHAHAH
    <@Shiv> good riddance.
    <@Vincent> sigh
    <@Neptune> ahahahahahahaha
    <@BethGabler> lol
    <tauros_hunter> lol
    * tauros_hunter was kicked by batcave.dejatoons.net (Flooding (Limit is 1 lines per 100 seconds))

    tauros_hunter (obi) was kicked laughing.

    Also, a random gem!

    <@Vincent> [19:04:34] <Vincent> I tried to help you
    <@Vincent> [19:04:38] <Vincent> but they hacked my computer
    <@Vincent> [19:04:48] <Vincent> they are getting to you soon man
    <@Vincent> [19:05:02] <Vincent> fuck man my files are being deleted as we speak
    <@Vincent> [19:05:09] <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> I KNOW
    <@Vincent> [19:05:10] <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> HELP
    <@Vincent> [19:05:12] <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> HELP
    <@Vincent> its not even sport to mess with this kind of stuîdity



    There was a lot of stuff, so I had to trim it down and remove some good parts (sorry jumpluff!). This used to be 23 pages, but now it’s “only” 14. Also yeah I’m not really that good of a troll! It was mostly Shiv and obi.
  2. Shiv

    Shiv mostly harmless
    is a Site Staff Alumnusis a Smogon IRC AOp Alumnusis a Forum Moderator Alumnusis a Battle Server Moderator Alumnusis a Past WCoP Winner

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    that was a lot of fun!
  3. Tangerine

    Tangerine Where the Lights Are
    is a Smogon IRC SOPis a Team Rater Alumnusis a Forum Moderator Alumnusis a Smogon Media Contributor Alumnusis a Tiering Contributor Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnus

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    <obi> No
    <obi> She knwos me
    <obi> Biblically

    Quite possibly the best usage of that phrase I've seen in a while.
  4. SgtWoodsy

    SgtWoodsy

    Joined:
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    I approve of these here shenanigans.
  5. Diana

    Diana This isn't even my final form
    is a Pokemon Researcheris a Contributor Alumnus

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    When I saw this topic I clicked, not expecting too much. Boy, was I wrong. This was pure amazing.

    It kind of reminds me that glowstick thread.. Which is a great thing.

    Mandatory edit for Pikadestruct, that was the best part xD
  6. Thorns

    Thorns

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    ahahaha you glined him

    has this kid been in contact with ggfan

    also rofl pikadestruct
  7. Not Scicky

    Not Scicky

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    You guys've got this boiled down to an art
  8. Sir_Lu

    Sir_Lu

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    Wow haha.
  9. Da Letter El

    Da Letter El Officially internet famous
    is a Forum Moderator
    Moderator

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    Hahaha, awesome read.
  10. Myriad

    Myriad

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    Haha, really enjoyed reading this. Good job.
  11. Niraj

    Niraj

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    <BethGabler> hi kelley <3
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> BETH ARE YOU OFF WORK
    <BethGabler> for a moment
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> FOR HOW LONG
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> LONG ENOUGH TO FIGHT FOR VARK?
    <BethGabler> i hope so... i want to help you in any way i can
    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> OK THANKS SO MUCH SEXY THATS WHY I LOVE YOU :) :) MUAH MUAH



    Hahahaha, this was just unreal. Whole thing was well worth the read.
  12. gec

    gec i've been crawling through the falling
    is a Forum Moderator Alumnus

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    * kelley[justgonedoneworkingout] sets mode: +o Shiv

    what an idiot

    Great read, especially the BethGabler parts lol
  13. Blue Kirby

    Blue Kirby Never back down.
    is a Tutor Alumnusis a Site Staff Alumnusis a Battle Server Admin Alumnusis a Programmer Alumnusis a Smogon IRC SOp Alumnusis a Smogon Media Contributor Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnusis an Administrator Alumnusis a Past SPL + WCoP Winner

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    Damn why do I always miss these?
  14. Diploman

    Diploman

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    This read was awesome!
    GIVE ME BACK MY @

    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> HEY
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> GIVE ME BACK MY @
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> NOW
    <kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> OR ELSE
    <@Shiv> kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]
    <@Shiv> i will make you a deal
  15. Mekkah

    Mekkah
    is a Super Moderatoris a Tutor Alumnusis a Site Staff Alumnusis a CAP Contributor Alumnusis a Smogon Media Contributor Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnusis an Administrator Alumnus
    Super Moderator

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    hahahaha
  16. Toothache

    Toothache Let the music play!
    is a Forum Moderator Alumnus

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    leagandary lime :-)
  17. junior

    junior heard ur boyf was away this weekend, wanna meet at my place
    is a Contributor Alumnusis a Battle Server Moderator Alumnusis a Past WCoP Winner

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    lol oh man, this just made my day.
  18. twash

    twash
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    Oh my god this was freaking hilarious, great read sarenji :)
  19. Raverist

    Raverist

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    Fucking brilliant.
  20. keelhauled

    keelhauled

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    God that shit's awesome.
  21. Veedrock

    Veedrock

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    Best warstory ever.

    Think I found my topic nomination for 09
  22. CaptKirby

    CaptKirby

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    <@kelley[justgonedoneworkingout]> TRY TO TYPE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE IN THEIR CHANNEL TO MESSS IT UP

    This is clearly the best line. This is the least potent attack I could imagine.
  23. DM

    DM Ce soir, on va danser.
    is a Site Staff Alumnusis a Super Moderator Alumnusis a Smogon IRC SOp Alumnus

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    Sarenji threads never fail to disappoint
  24. cookie

    cookie Administrator
    is a Super Moderatoris a Smogon Media Contributoris a Contributor to Smogon
    Soc. Forums Leader

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    you guys are awesome
  25. Matthew

    Matthew I love weather; Sun for days
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    PikaDistruct was amazing.
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