(WarStory) My first warstory: ShinyWeavile vs Acetrainershaun

[Shinyweavile]

This is my first warstory, so don't accuse me of crappy writing....
My team:

Battle between ShinyWeavile and acetrainershaun started!

Tier: OU Gen 4
Rule: Unrated
Rule: Sleep Clause

Vs

acetrainershaun sent out Ninjask!
ShinyWeavile sent out Weavile!
Weavile is exerting its Pressure!
ShinyWeavile: gulp....
ShinyWeavile: this stupid thing again......

Ninjask, one of the few pokes that outspeeds weavile....
SHould I fake out, or should I just go for the KO before it gets a speed boost?

Start of turn 1
The foe's Ninjask used X-Scissor!
It's super effective!
Weavile lost 258 HP! (91% of its health)

Weavile used Ice Punch!
It's super effective!
ShinyWeavile: shooooottttt
The foe's Ninjask lost 100% of its health!
The foe's Ninjask fainted!

acetrainershaun: Ouch lol
ShinyWeavile: no way im letting u get a baton pass in
ShinyWeavile: or a speed boost

There we go. I realized that, right after he got his speed boost, he would just Baton Pass his way out. But no sash? What's he holding?
acetrainershaun sent out Dragonite
ShinyWeavile: extremespeed?

Start of turn 2
acetrainershaun called Dragonite back!
acetrainershaun sent out Metagross!

Vs

Weavile used Ice Punch!
It's not very effective...
A critical hit!
The foe's Metagross lost 31% of its health!

ShinyWeavile: or not....
ShinyWeavile: lol
acetrainershaun: Forgot you might have ice shard lol

wow..... well, now i know hi D-nite carries extremespeed, and i got some free damage on his metagross.
Start of turn 3
Weavile used Low Kick!
ShinyWeavile: hahahahahah
The foe's Metagross lost 34% of its health!

The foe's Metagross used Earthquake!
Weavile lost 23 HP! (8% of its health)
Weavile fainted!

ShinyWeavile: i dont
acetrainershaun: Phew lol
ShinyWeavile: leaviles never carry ice punch AND ice shard
ShinyWeavile: lead*
ShinyWeavile sent out Heatran!

acetrainershaun: Ahh.

I kinda expected that, but whatever. Something tells me that I will destroy him now.

Vs

Start of turn 4
Heatran used Magma Storm!
It's super effective!
A critical hit!
The foe's Metagross lost 34% of its health!
The foe's Metagross fainted!

ShinyWeavile: no way u outspeed me
ShinyWeavile: wow
acetrainershaun sent out Staraptor!

The foe's Staraptor intimidates Heatran!
Heatran's Attack fell!
ShinyWeavile: this is turning out better than i thought.....
ShinyWeavile: nvm

Woosh.... I hate staraptor. It has the almost completely unresisted combo of Brave Bird and Close Combat. Wait, I think it might actually be completely unresisted.....

Vs

Start of turn 5
The foe's Staraptor used Close Combat!
It's super effective!
Heatran lost 254 HP! (78% of its health)
The foe's Staraptor's Defense fell!
The foe's Staraptor's Sp. Def. fell!

Heatran used Magma Storm!
ShinyWeavile: shooooootttttt
The foe's Staraptor lost 100% of its health!
The foe's Staraptor fainted!

ShinyWeavile: woah
acetrainershaun: Uh oh lol
ShinyWeavile: something feels wrong here.....
acetrainershaun sent out Gyarados!

The foe's Gyarados intimidates Heatran!
Heatran's Attack fell!
ShinyWeavile: why hasnt magma storm missed?

Wow..... Totally forgot about the extra HP evs..... Now.... should i stay in? Heatran is modest and he isn't scarfed, so there is no way i outspeed.......

Vs

Start of turn 6
ShinyWeavile called Heatran back!
ShinyWeavile sent out Flygon!

The foe's Gyarados used Dragon Dance!
The foe's Gyarados's Attack rose!
The foe's Gyarados's Speed rose!

You may think that was stupid..... well, you may be right.......

Vs

Start of turn 7
The foe's Gyarados used Dragon Dance!
The foe's Gyarados's Attack rose!
The foe's Gyarados's Speed rose!

Flygon used Outrage!
The foe's Gyarados lost 100% of its health!
The foe's Gyarados fainted!

acetrainershaun sent out Scizor!

ShinyWeavile: u obviously have never seen a flygon use outrage

Lol, CB STAB outrage is almost as good as CB technician STAB Bullet Punch.... Minus the priority, ofcourse

Vs

Start of turn 8
Flygon used Outrage!
It's not very effective...
A critical hit!
The foe's Scizor lost 92% of its health!

The foe's Scizor used Swords Dance!
The foe's Scizor's Attack sharply rose!

Flygon calmed down!
Flygon became confused!
ShinyWeavile: lol
ShinyWeavile: a crit will hurt anything
acetrainershaun: Nope lol I was kinda expecting Stone edge.

I don't carry stone edge.... for good reason, too. Fire punch allows me to have perfect coverage along with my 2 STAB moves. actually, fire punch and outrage hit neutral on everything except heatran, who is destroyed by EQ.
Start of turn 9
The foe's Scizor used Bullet Punch!
ShinyWeavile: nope
Flygon lost 214 HP! (70% of its health)
The foe's Scizor fainted!

Flygon is confused!
Flygon used Outrage!
But there was no target...

acetrainershaun sent out Dragonite!

ShinyWeavile: i dont use stone edge

Now he has in D-nite..... what do i do? I don't think flygon outspeeds, and even if it does, D-nite has Extremespeed to finish me off.....

Vs

Start of turn 10
The foe's Dragonite used ExtremeSpeed!
ShinyWeavile: i hate it
Flygon lost 88 HP! (29% of its health)
Flygon fainted!

ShinyWeavile sent out Skarmory!

ShinyWeavile: hehehehehe

I can hope to stall for a while..... but Skarm won't last for long if it Ddances up.....

Vs

Start of turn 11
The foe's Dragonite used Dragon Dance!
The foe's Dragonite's Attack rose!
The foe's Dragonite's Speed rose!

Skarmory used Stealth Rock!
Pointed stones float in the air around acetrainershaun's team!

Meh, couldn't resist. Now, i feel so stupid for not realizing he was on his last pokemon, and that this would be pointless......


Start of turn 12
The foe's Dragonite used Dragon Dance!
The foe's Dragonite's Attack rose!
The foe's Dragonite's Speed rose!

Skarmory used Whirlwind!
But it failed!

acetrainershaun: :D This my last poke
ShinyWeavile: oh crap.....

I felt VERY stupid when i realized i had just wasted 2 turns..... Something tells me that it's over for me.....
Start of turn 13
The foe's Dragonite used Dragon Dance!
The foe's Dragonite's Attack rose!
The foe's Dragonite's Speed rose!

Skarmory used Brave Bird!
The foe's Dragonite lost 40% of its health!
Skarmory is hit with recoil!

The foe's Dragonite restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
ShinyWeavile: i feel so stupid now.....
Skarmory restored a little HP using its Leftovers!

By now it's at +3 atk and +3 speed. Nothing on my team will evr be able to outspeed something like that, let alone survive something from it.
Start of turn 14
The foe's Dragonite used ThunderPunch!
It's super effective!
Skarmory lost 300 HP! (89% of its health)

Skarmory used Brave Bird!
ShinyWeavile: NOOOOOOOOO
The foe's Dragonite lost 35% of its health!
Skarmory is hit with recoil!
Skarmory fainted!

The foe's Dragonite restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
ShinyWeavile sent out Milotic!

yeah, it's over for me..... The only thing i can do is Ice beam in vain.

Vs

Start of turn 15
The foe's Dragonite used ThunderPunch!
It's super effective!
ShinyWeavile: i might lose thios....
Milotic lost 390 HP! (99% of its health)

Milotic used Ice Beam!
It's super effective!
ShinyWeavile: nvm
The foe's Dragonite lost 36% of its health!
The foe's Dragonite fainted!

ShinyWeavile won the battle!

Woah. I don't have any comments to say here, except that I am never replacing milotic. It survived a +3 Super Effective thunder punch, and it KO'd with ice beam in return....wow....


So.... Milotic is awesome.... obviously.... How did this thing get stuck in UU?

Awesome points in this battle:
1. Milotic surviving a +3 super effective Thunder Punch.... and it turns out D-nite was adamant.
2. Weavile ripping that ninjask to pieces.... in one hit..... why no sash?


Stupid things:
1. Me wasting 2 turns setting up rocks and trying to use whirlwind.... If i hadn't done that, I might've KO'd D-nite before it KO'd me.
2. Using ice punch on D-nite..... and having him switch into meta to take the hit.
3. Acetrainershaun not going for one more Ddance.


Anyway, rate this however you feel like. I'll add sprites later.

 

[ARandomDude]

I scrolled through, no lines of commentary were more than 1 line long.

 

[Athenodoros]

A more helpful responce: pick a better battle to warstory. If you start to destroy an opponent because he refuses to switch and then he beats you because you let him get up to +3/+3 for no reason and then you just survive and KO back then it isn't really a good battle to story. Pick something full of strategy, mind games and with little hax. Check the warstory archive.

 

[tomtom5858]

I agree with the above people.

 

[Shinyweavile]

hmmm.... you guys are right.....

 

[Comet]

This is my first warstory, so don't accuse me of crappy writing....

Saw this, and decided to only skim this warstory.

The commentary didn't help at all, and I couldn't tell what was going on without sprites. The battle had no good prediction from what I saw, and the format was really, really bland.

 

[His Eminence Lord Poppington II]

It being your first warstory does not excuse yourself from crappy writing. It was bad overall anyway, even ignoring the crappy writing.

 

[Heathcliff Huxtable]

I think your formatting could use some work. In the future, try displaying a horizontal preview of both teams at the top of your post. You should also consider showing the sprites of each Pokemon matchup throughout the battle and providing more insightful commentary after each turn.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

Don't include the chat if all it contains is "lol" .

 

[OdeDischarge]

It needs work I'll admit, always remember that visual representation is what makes or breaks any War Story. Being able to understand and visualize what each player is thinking is the key to a good story.

You've got potential, just keep working on it!

 

[BKC]

Yeah, the battle wasn't really all that great, no sprites and lacking commentary made it hard to follow as well. Sorry. Maybe next time try to get a better battle with more thought in it and it could go better?