college sucks

Hey skiddle, I feel your pain... at least from the engineer in college standpoint. It is a rough major and it makes me constantly question if I really want to do this for the rest of my life. The main thing you have to do first is like everyone said, confront your parents about all of this. Then, you don't necessarily have to change your major, but try to take courses that interest you. For example, I am an engineer but my minor is in Geology. I enjoy my Geology classes more than my engineering classes, but I still want the engineering degree because it does open doors. Remember, your major in college doesn't determine your future, it just determines the options you have in the future. I have a friend who graduated with a Physics degree that works at a big investment business that has nothing to do with Physics! And don't forget, there is also graduate school, where you really can do research and explore beyond your field. It's not uncommon for engineers to go on to medical school or law school, etc. The biggest perk about an engineering degree is that it makes you skilled and marketable, but its not a contract that says you have to be an engineer. Something to think about.

As for the girls thing, don't have sex with dirty girls like your friends... thats terrible. Continue to look for the good relationship.

Also, how do you get by on so little food? Don't you have a dining plan? Food is like the number one priority in college IMO.
 
What I feel about this thread is that I think you're being way too rash and you should honestly try to talk things out rather than telling them to essentially fuck off and that you don't need them.

Honestly, your parents just want you to succeed. They're probably checking up on you like that because they know of your attitude from Highschool that you have described to us. In their eyes, you probably don't look too "responsible" at the moment, and this combined with the generic "oh my god my kid is in college I must check up on him" attitude probably just makes you feel like you're being controlled.

Talk things out. They're still your parents, and I'm sure if you show a lot of resolve and show that you can be responsible they're more than willing to hear you out. I don't think telling them to screw off through an Internet Forum shows maturity at all. You're an "adult" now - try to reason things out, show them that maybe there is future in your career, and maybe they won't be too offended that you don't want to be an engineer (...and if they're offended then they really need to stop trying to live vicariously through because that's just absolute bullshit). But in the end, I'm sure they'll understand - just tell them what *you* want to do and why, and in the end they should give you their support (hopefully).
 
I can honestly tell you that from the sounds of your last post, you sound like you have no idea what you're doing. the most important thing right now would be to man up and talk to your parents. if you think you can go from being completely independent to living life on the wing at 20 and having a great old time i can tell you that that is a childish fantasy

ps your entire family has serious communication issues!!
 
College is stupid. You have stupid radical I-don't-even-know-what-wing professors who would rather try to brainwash their students into believing some way-off-the-beaten-path viewpoint than actually teaching their subject, and an administration who doesn't actually care about anyone's education so long as they get your money when they're supposed to (For example, at my school, there was a class a few years back in which every single student failed. The teacher was not disciplined, even though he clearly did a piss-poor job, and no one's grade was changed). And on top of that, you've got a society who has somehow convinced themselves that a little piece of paper you get from sitting through said brainwashing somehow makes a person "smart," when in reality it can all be summed up by two letters. They don't call it a B.S. degree for nothing.

So what if it shows that you're motivated and willing to throw away a lot of money and four plus years of your life for a supposed higher education, odds are what you learn will have little to no relevance in whatever career you end up choosing. If I am going to continue on to law school (very doubtful at this point), I really do not care that my Theories of Punishment teacher seems to think that Communism is the end-all-be-all of economic structures and Capitalism is the devil, when she has taught absolutely nothing regarding actual theories of punishment. I can probably repeat back most everything she's said, but that doesn't mean I believe it, and it's sure as hell not relevant to any career path I'll ever follow.

So yeah, long story short, college is a whole bunch of irrelevant bullshit and a huge waste of time. I'm doing it, but only because the school is paying for nearly everything relating to my education, and because a bunch of people seem to think a degree means I'm somehow socially superior. However, I'm 5 quarters away from finishing and not once have I found it to be "hard." Though I'm not taking a bunch of advanced math and engineering classes like the OP.


DM said:
As for women... dude, just fuck the drunk girls. I'm dead serious. I went to a shitty nerd college where I didn't have that opportunity, and I missed out on a huge part of what college is all about, and I wish I had had the chance to hook up all the time, but now I'm past my sexual prime. Just make sure you use protection, that should be a given. Trust me when I say that about 75% of college girls don't want lasting relationships, that comes in the mid- to late-20s when they actually start thinking about the future. Enjoy your youth now while you still can.
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Don't listen to this. I was in a long-term committed relationship before I even began college, and I'm still with the same girl. Unnecessary drama and stress is not what you need right now, and that's all his suggestion is going to bring you. I've lived with my now-fiance for a year and a half, and really only set foot on campus for class. I've pretty much managed to avoid the entire party scene (honestly, never interested me, and I don't feel like I've missed much), which is probably the reason half the people who do so badly in college do so badly. It really helps to not be hung over in class, so you can pay extra-special attention to all the bullshit on a stick your professors will try to spoon-feed you.
 
They weren't even supposed to read this. I just had to vent somewhere... not tell my parents stuff over the internet.

I was going to tell them the whole story a couple of weeks ago but every time I called I couldn't bear to tell them because the conversation would always drift to money and marks and stuff. You all probably have no idea how hard it is to tell your parents that they just blew 7000$ dollars on absolutely nothing... unless you've crashed their car.

Anyways, this most certainly wasn't the way I wanted them to find out. They're probably super angry right now so obviously it isn't the time to talk. I'll call when I'm ready.

And geez some of you aren't very understanding at all... I don't hate my parents... this all happened because I didn't want to disappoint them. It's my fault.
 
It's not your fault. Although if you post things you don't want to your parents to see on a forum your parents read, you're also a bit of a moron. Get a private xanga or something.

They did NOT waste $7000. Just because you're taking a year off doesn't mean your credits reset to 0. Jeez. You can come back, pick up school again, use your old required courses as electives, and go on your way. You'll lose a few thousand bucks but it's normal. I'm peeved I lost $2000 through my school's inability to communicate new programs to us. Just roll with the punches and think of it as experience. You never know when something you learned in some course will inspire you in something else. Especially when it comes to concept art.
 
You all probably have no idea how hard it is to tell your parents that they just blew 7000$ dollars on absolutely nothing... unless you've crashed their car.
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i have except it's not a complete waste. just mostly a waste! stop martyring yourself, but needing time before you call them is fine. as long as you see how ridiculous the situation is lol

if they love you and believe in you they will understand. If they don't, then they need some time to think in the same way you need time to think before you call them.
 
Hi Rob
Dad here
Well I would to like say that I cannot live your life for you or do anything to help you face reality. Life is hard and you can only make it easier by facing up to your own mistakes. I have not forced you to do anything. I have always done my best to try and help you succeed. I will always be here for you and will support you. I assume that you have not done well in college and I am okay with that. I only asked how you are doing, good, bad or okay. I did not think that was too much to ask. So the big question now is: what now? I will support you financially if you are doing something to get ahead either physically of spiritually. I will still offer schooling if you are willing to do something with it. If you are not going to school then what are you planning? Have you saved up some money to set your self up? Do you have a job? Do you want to come home for Christmas? Do you plan on getting a job? Do you have any requests for a change of venue? Both Mom and I want you to be HAPPY and successful but do not pretend that we are forcing you to fail or that any of your problems are our fault. Be real with yourself and remember who you are and that there is a God that loves you far more than anything that I have ever done good or said. He loves you. I told you that you would be challenged and that your faith would be shaken. Hard times are times to really see what you are made of. They are also when we really need God. I love you and will do my best to help you. It is up to you. If you have a request pass it by me and I will let you know. If you want to to be grown up you have to take responsibility for what course your life takes. Being a man means facing a man's world, paying your own bills and making your own mistakes, not making excuses for our problems. Do not blame others for how your life is. Happiness is a choice just like sin or hate or love is a choice. You choose how to feel or act or be. I know I can not pass all these things on to you but I hope that some how you will learn these valuable truths. Growing up I told you I could not make you believe in God or just because you went to church or your parents believed that you would be saved or believe. These are things that you must face and I hope and pray that you will also believe and know that you are loved and were created to love. I am not sure what more I can say but that I and your Mom love you and will always love you and be here for you. Have a good sleep and day doing what you choose.


Love Mom and Dad
 
as seemingly ludicrous as it is that your family is using a pokemon forum to communicate instead of actually talking i'd just like to comment that this is kind of touching and that skiddle's dad made some pretty good points!
 
That is nice Tangerine, but I would rather talk in person to my son if he would only answer hi phone/text/email.

a concerned Dad
 
Since his profile says he's 18, am I correct in assuming that this is his first year in college? I'm sure he's just "experimenting" with his new-found freedoms in the sense of not wanting to talk to you and stuff like that. Not sure what the "best" way to communicate with him would be given the circumstances, but I'm pretty sure watching his posts on a pokemon forum isn't it. Maybe stop paying for his cell phone, since he clearly "doesn't need it" :P

Even if a family doesn't agree on something, there's no harm in communication.
 
Yes and yes. Just don't believe the "starving" tales. He's had plenty of grocery money. And spending money. And free grub from relatives in town. And somehow he still manages to have booze every weekend.
 
If he'd rather have booze than food, that's his own damn problem. Sounds like he needs to learn how to manage his money a bit better if he wants to try "living on his own."
 
seds said:
Yes and yes. Just don't believe the "starving" tales. He's had plenty of grocery money. And spending money. And free grub from relatives in town. And somehow he still manages to have booze every weekend.
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well maybe he didnt want you to read his diary [this thread]

=[

you know, i wish i had parents like skiddle's looool skiddle's are really nice
 
Although this thread scares me a little bit, and I am keenly aware nobody here is asking for my advice, I would recommend taking a gap year.

The simple yet ugly fact is that without a college degree, you are probably not going to be happy with your lifestyle. There are exceptions, of course, but this holds true for the vast majority. The other simple and ugly fact is that you're burning out, which also happens to a ridiculous amount of people. I can't think of anything more productive than to take a year off from school. Most colleges have no problem with that these days (mine included), and it sounds perfect for you. First and foremost, you'll get to try and experience that living on your own that you want. It may or may not be as glamorous as it appears, but it will certainly be extremely informative. You can try for yourself to get jobs, and see what jobs you can get without a degree. With whatever job you find, see what lifestyle you can support. Your college will almost certainly be okay with this, let you take a year off to get your head straight with little to no financial penalty, and in all likelihood you'll return a year later. If you enjoy the free life as much as you think you will, theres no obligation to return; you're costing your parents nothing. If you find the challenges of an unstructured life are more daunting than you previously thought, you can return to school with newfound motivation to achieve a better lifestyle.

As of my own experience: I'm about three months into my year off now. I'm living in beijing, working as a private English tutor. This pays pretty damn well ($20/hr), and combined with low cost of living expenses, I don't need to work an excessive number of hours to maintain a comfortable lifestyle. I rent out a small flat for roughly $400 a month, and as long as I eat at non-Western restaurants I can get full and healthy meals for as little as a dollar or two. I make enough money to support myself. That said, I already see the limitations on my current living. I'm working for myself, there's no chance for promotion to a better paying job or anything of the like. If I want to earn more money, I'll have to work more hours. I can never improve on my hourly rate. Furthermore, as more and more foreigners come to Beijing, my services will continually decrease in value. Right now, my position is a skilled job in high demand, but that will change; my situation is entirely unsustainable. Three months ago, I needed a break, and my first few weeks in China were filled with partying. Now, I'm more motivated than ever to improve myself, break through those glass ceilings, become entirely fluent in Chinese, and get a useful degree. My nights have largely gone from drunken revelry to poring over a Chinese edition of "The Warren Buffett Way."

In addition, at the moment, I'm working in a skilled position. Not everybody can do what I do, so it pays fairly well. For you, you will in all likelihood be working in an unskilled position without a degree. It will pay shit, and your living expenses will be higher than mine as well. Living the free life in a shit job in a shit house for a while is probably going to shock you back to harsh reality: you really, really, want a college degree.

Unrelated postscript: I don't see why you can't both simultaneously look for a serious relationship and have fun one-night stands, so long as you're not looking for the serious relationship to stem from a one-night stand.
 
No, that was kind of my point. I don't really see why skiddle doesn't catch on and give up...I know I would be implementing some radical viewchange somewhere if my entire family exposed my "starving" on a public forum.
 
Well then. This is turn-around.
skiddle stop being a little douchebag and answer your parents' calls. Although I must admit this is far more entertaining.
 
I wish I could rate this thread...

But seriously, take some time off and see where your at. I took 2 years off between High School and College, and while that doesnt work for alot of people (you know the "Im taking a year off and then going back but here I am at 24 with no college").

There are other career paths you can choose that dont require a great deal of education (Government type stuff mostly..)

But yeah..this shit is like Jerry Springer Smogon style.

Actually, lets go with Maury - Smogon Style.
 
If i've learnt one thing, its that no matter what happens to you, what kind of trouble you get in, and what you do with your life; your parents (if they are decent enough human beings) will always be there to love and support you.

Your dad sounds mighty caring, and you should count yourself lucky to have him. As for getting a $200-300 allowance per week? that is fantastic!
I was earning close to that per week while doing my undergraduate degree in Biomedical Science, but that was just it, i was working close to 15 hours a week and it took alot out of me. My parents couldn't afford to fiscally support me, not with the house repayments and the up-front costs associated with high school for my 2 sisters!

this year, i've had to move out of home and am now renting a house with a nursing student.
The only reason i can afford to undertake my medical degree is because im on a $23k/annum scholarship, with 32 contact hours per week and 30 hours expected private study on top of that, i have little time to do much else!

If theres one thing i've learnt this year, it is the importance of prioritising. I take it that since this is your first year out of high school, a lot of things will be new to you in terms of both college and your life.
Make a list. What is most important to you- partying it up and getting smashed every weekend, or using the money that your parents have given you wisely and for the intended purpose (ie- food, accomodation, clothing).
If you need extra money, why would your parents have a problem with you working part time? An extra 10 hours a week working at the local restaurant (instead of vegging out in front of the tv/wii/smogon) could mean up to $200 more in your pocket. Your parents SURELY would not mind you gaining the experience in terms of teamwork, professionalism, cash handling, etc that comes hand in hand with working in a part-time situation.

You've been at College for what, a semester now? (i don't know how the US semesters work, as im an Australian). Hell, i didn't like it until halfway through my second year! But trust me when i say you'll make some fantastic friends, have some fantastic memories, and will get a fantastic education.

Count yourself lucky that your parents have supported you to the extent that they are now, many people in this world do not have that luxury.
 
Umm he's only getting $200-300 a month Duke, not a week. Which apparently doesn't matter because he has relatives near him who can spot him some grub.

Skiddle, just call your parents, and go spend time with them this upcoming Thanksgiving. They obviously really care and are just concerned about your well being.
 
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