Moving out and living on your own

[mirza]

For the past few years and the past few months especially, I think I've spent more time thinking about moving out on my own and starting new than anything else. I'm 18 years old and will be done with highschool in May. Obviously, I lack the resources to move out out of my parents' house at the moment and part-time jobs dont cut it, but I have a few questions for those of you who are on your own or have experience with friends moving out.

Actually, before I start I'd like to mention a few things. I don't mean to come off as arrogant because I consider myself a very modest person, but I want to be on my own, as in move out of my parents' house and get my own place. Whether that be an apartment, box, under a bridge, whatever. I feel that at this point in my life I'm ready to be on my own, and I just want to be my own boss. My mom seems to think I'll stick around here until I get married or some shit, and that's something I'm not even thinking about. It might not ever even happen, and quite frankly, I'm not in a hurry. I just want to live my own life, actually feel like I own my things, and just enjoy it.

In my parents' house I feel like I get little privacy, especially my shit in my room. I avoid the old man most of the time because we've simply grown apart over time. He's always spewing religious shit at me and honestly, that just makes you want to get away from it.

They both give me retarded fucking advice like "dont ever bring an American girl home, she must be Bosnian. Oh yeah, both her parents must be Muslim of course!!!" If that wasn't bad enough, I can't bring home any bitches from a part of Bosnia called Srebrenica, which is just limiting more people. "Um if you moved to the United States 10 years ago, why the fuck would you expect me not to see American people when this town has like 60K people and a couple thousand fucking Bosnians??? How many of those do you think meet these requirements??" I should ask them these questions, but I dont out of respect. I hate to say it but they can both be extremely hypocritical at times, and I don't have anything against them because they are my parents, and they were raised much differently than me. However, their opinions haven't changed a bit since arriving in the States, and at times they seem very ignorant.

Not to sound like some punk but I'm nearly a grownass man. I should be able to make my own decisions by now, but in this house I can't. I hate Bowling Green, there isn't shit to do here and IMO life's too short for me to spend much more of it here in this house and this shitty city. I'm sure some of the younger posters wont see where I'm coming from at all, as well as some of the older ones. However, I know I'm not the only one who has these feelings to be on their own, and I'm sure most of you will too.

I plan to go to college, most likely WKU (Western Kentucky University) and at this point I think I'll probably go for some kind of business or marketing major. My goal in life is to one day be successful, but honestly, I'd be content with making enough to support myself and saving a little on the side. Anyhow, these are some of my questions, and if I can remember some later, hopefully no one will get too annoyed!

Oh yeah, these questions all apply to life AFTER finishing highschool. The idea would be for me to move out after highschool (assuming I find a full-time job beforehand) and renting a place here while I attend college. After getting a bachelor's degree, I'd look for a job in some bigger city. I don't want to live my life here.

-Would it be possible for me to have a full-time job and attend a college at the same time? The obvious answer is yes, but would I be able to get the degree in the same amount of time as a "full-time college student?"

-Is getting an apartment (for example) with a friend or two a good idea? I know people can be hella unreliable especially if your friends are sloths and dont do shit. However, splitting the bills sounds tasty. It still seems risky to me.

-Is it pretty tough once you're actually on your own? I'm not too sure how the whole thing would work even though I think I can handle it.

-(For those of you on your own) When you first moved out, were you overwhelmed with the amount of time you spent being busy with school/work/whatever? Did you have much time to chill with your friends? For some reason, whenever I picture myself on my own, I'm chillin' with my friends at my place lol.

Anything you guys could mention on the topic would be highly appreciated! THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART AND THE MAIN REASON I MADE THIS THREAD.>>>>>>>For those of you on your own, could you please share your stories?

I plan to (somehow) repay my parents one day for all of the money and shit I owe them by now. I'll always have great respect for them, and it's not them, I just feel like I'm ready to be on my own and live my life.

Sorry for the grammar mistakes. :(

Discuss and share your experiences!

 

[alamaster]

-Would it be possible for me to have a full-time job and attend a college at the same time? The obvious answer is yes, but would I be able to get the degree in the same amount of time as a "full-time college student?"

Technically you would be a full-time college student either way, but yes you will most certainly need a job. If you are seeking financial aid be warned because at times they may not give you as much as you need and it does get rough. Honestly if I could have stayed at home I would have because it is so expensive to survive on your own.

EDIT: Sorry I forgot to add in that you will need a part-time job, but hey if you can do a full time job and go to school then kudos! Just try and find something that gives you 20-30 hours a week and you should be fine.

-Is getting an apartment (for example) with a friend or two a good idea? I know people can be hella unreliable especially if your friends are sloths and dont do shit. However, splitting the bills sounds tasty. It still seems risky to me.

Make sure they are people that you trust, my roommate is my best friend and I trust him to pay his share so that isn't an issue for me. If for whatever reason they do not end up being the people you thought they were, make sure you get their parents to co-sign the lease so they will be held responsible for the money.

-Is it pretty tough once you're actually on your own? I'm not too sure how the whole thing would work even though I think I can handle it.

You think you can but it can be at times very stressful. Having to worry about having no money all of the time, school, making time for friends, keeping up with the car, and working all take a serious toll on your mental state. It's tough but pretty nice too since you do get a lot of privacy. If you enjoy being independent then you will like living on your own despite the money issues and stress.

-(For those of you on your own) When you first moved out, were you overwhelmed with the amount of time you spent being busy with school/work/whatever? Did you have much time to chill with your friends? For some reason, whenever I picture myself on my own, I'm chillin' with my friends at my place lol.

When I first moved out it was to a city an hour away so I had to find a new job which was the big issue, because my city has a student population of about 30,000 in a relatively small area, so finding a job was extremely frustrating. Just budget your time wisely and you will always be able to find time for your friends.

Anything you guys could mention on the topic would be highly appreciated! THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART AND THE MAIN REASON I MADE THIS THREAD.>>>>>>>For those of you on your own, could you please share your stories?

I plan to (somehow) repay my parents one day for all of the money and shit I owe them by now. I'll always have great respect for them, and it's not them, I just feel like I'm ready to be on my own and live my life.

Well that is admirable, but I wouldn't start repaying them during your first few years on your own. Wait until you have a stable income source and are done school before you take on this as well.

Sorry for the grammar mistakes. :(

Discuss and share your experiences!

Well I hope that answered your questions to some extent, if you need to know anything else or want me to go into more detail just drop me a PM! Best of luck to you!

 

[ivar]

Go to college at a far away school. Give yourself four years to figure out how you'll cope post-grad.

 

[QuickDraw]

if your parents will help with college/ rent or stuff like a cellphone or insurance it will help immensely. i moved out when i turned 19 because after graduating and being in college/ working full time for a year i felt cramped in the house. finding reliable people to be room mates is a huge must. the first "friend" i talked with about moving out turned out to be a huge flake and terrible with money (thankfully i found this out before we moved in to the place). you will also want to have a good job locked in before you move, that way you can rest a little easier knowing you have a steady, if meager, source of income that will pay for rent and food.

a lot of times universities will have houses or apartments on campus that will be a bit cheaper for students. i was able to get my financial aid to cover about half of my rent because i am in a house with 5 other guys that is on the campus.

 

[Force Majeure]

I share an apartment with my boyfriend. We've been dating for, eh, almost three years, and since we're both in college and wanted to defray costs a little bit, we moved in together. I had sore hands from filling out all the scholarship applications, but I'm going to school for free and I have enough from my investments that I made in March to cover me for the rest of college pretty comfortably, but I still work a couple of part-time jobs (it comes to about 25 hours a week; one of them is pretty dam' part time)

-Would it be possible for me to have a full-time job and attend a college at the same time? The obvious answer is yes, but would I be able to get the degree in the same amount of time as a "full-time college student?"

Hmm. I seriously doubt it. You could if you worked eight-hour days every weekend and then just about every evening, but it wouldn't be fun. Nor would it be easy.

-Is getting an apartment (for example) with a friend or two a good idea? I know people can be hella unreliable especially if your friends are sloths and dont do shit. However, splitting the bills sounds tasty. It still seems risky to me.

There are a lot of pluses and minuses to this kinda thing.
+ You will be able to sustain yourself on a part-time job.
+ Living alone can be really isolating.
- Flaky people are all over the place. I've heard of people moving out and sticking the person who stayed with the entire rent, and the only thing you can really do then is break the lease, which means you don't get security back.

In short, you have to really know these people, and you have to know what they're like when they're angry.

-Is it pretty tough once you're actually on your own? I'm not too sure how the whole thing would work even though I think I can handle it.

It can get tough because a lot of people don't factor in the non-rent costs of living on your own. Electric, gas, and water (although most landlords cover at least one) can get expensive, and if you add internet and/or cable, it gets expensive much more quickly. Not to mention food and furnishings....

-(For those of you on your own) When you first moved out, were you overwhelmed with the amount of time you spent being busy with school/work/whatever? Did you have much time to chill with your friends? For some reason, whenever I picture myself on my own, I'm chillin' with my friends at my place lol.

I'm dual-majoring in political science and economics while working two part-time jobs. I don't really have much of a social life, but it's OK because I'm saving up money that I'll need later. Really, the most stunning realization is that you have to provide for yourself and your own future. The workload is actually easier living away from the 'rents because my father has an annoying tendency to talk about Star Trek all day and my mother is always bumming cigarettes from me and talking to me about some history book she's just read.

 

[Nate]

I'm going to answer only to the one thing I have experience with.

-Is it pretty tough once you're actually on your own? I'm not too sure how the whole thing would work even though I think I can handle it.

Moving out was the most exhilarating and liberating thing I have ever done with myself. As long as you're mildly intelligent about living within your means, no, it's not particularly tough. There will be things you'll have to do for yourself that you may have never done before or have any experience at, but you're 18! You're old enough to manage. Financially, the best choice is, if possible, to have your parents help you out until you graduate. If you're willing to give up a lot of pizza and drinking nights, though, the feeling of finally living for yourself and being off the goddamn treadmill is hard to put a price on.

I would not recommend trying to have a full-time job while attending college. You do have a full year between now and when you would attend, so you can rack up a solid amount of savings doing part-time jobs between now and then.

 

[mirza]

Financially, the best choice is, if possible, to have your parents help you out until you graduate. If you're willing to give up a lot of pizza and drinking nights, though, the feeling of finally living for yourself and being off the goddamn treadmill is hard to put a price on.

Haha I've been thinking about that quite a bit lately. Staying with my parents is no doubt the best choice financially but the freedom sounds VERY tempting.:naughty:

 

[Phadunk]

For the past few years and the past few months especially, I think I've spent more time thinking about moving out on my own and starting new than anything else. I'm 18 years old and will be done with highschool in May. Obviously, I lack the resources to move out out of my parents' house at the moment and part-time jobs dont cut it, but I have a few questions for those of you who are on your own or have experience with friends moving out.

Actually, before I start I'd like to mention a few things. I don't mean to come off as arrogant because I consider myself a very modest person, but I want to be on my own, as in move out of my parents' house and get my own place. Whether that be an apartment, box, under a bridge, whatever. I feel that at this point in my life I'm ready to be on my own, and I just want to be my own boss. My mom seems to think I'll stick around here until I get married or some shit, and that's something I'm not even thinking about. It might not ever even happen, and quite frankly, I'm not in a hurry. I just want to live my own life, actually feel like I own my things, and just enjoy it.

In my parents' house I feel like I get little privacy, especially my shit in my room. I avoid the old man most of the time because we've simply grown apart over time. He's always spewing religious shit at me and honestly, that just makes you want to get away from it.

They both give me retarded fucking advice like "dont ever bring an American girl home, she must be Bosnian. Oh yeah, both her parents must be Muslim of course!!!" If that wasn't bad enough, I can't bring home any bitches from a part of Bosnia called Srebrenica, which is just limiting more people. "Um if you moved to the United States 10 years ago, why the fuck would you expect me not to see American people when this town has like 60K people and a couple thousand fucking Bosnians??? How many of those do you think meet these requirements??" I should ask them these questions, but I dont out of respect. I hate to say it but they can both be extremely hypocritical at times, and I don't have anything against them because they are my parents, and they were raised much differently than me. However, their opinions haven't changed a bit since arriving in the States, and at times they seem very ignorant.

Not to sound like some punk but I'm nearly a grownass man. I should be able to make my own decisions by now, but in this house I can't. I hate Bowling Green, there isn't shit to do here and IMO life's too short for me to spend much more of it here in this house and this shitty city. I'm sure some of the younger posters wont see where I'm coming from at all, as well as some of the older ones. However, I know I'm not the only one who has these feelings to be on their own, and I'm sure most of you will too.

I plan to go to college, most likely WKU (Western Kentucky University) and at this point I think I'll probably go for some kind of business or marketing major. My goal in life is to one day be successful, but honestly, I'd be content with making enough to support myself and saving a little on the side. Anyhow, these are some of my questions, and if I can remember some later, hopefully no one will get too annoyed!

Oh yeah, these questions all apply to life AFTER finishing highschool. The idea would be for me to move out after highschool (assuming I find a full-time job beforehand) and renting a place here while I attend college. After getting a bachelor's degree, I'd look for a job in some bigger city. I don't want to live my life here.

-Would it be possible for me to have a full-time job and attend a college at the same time? The obvious answer is yes, but would I be able to get the degree in the same amount of time as a "full-time college student?"

Goodluck with that.. full-time job + School thing. You will be worn out hardcore, and not only lose focus, but I really doubt you'd be able to do that. (Plus countless places now don't even allow full-time anymore. especically Pre-college diploma)

-Is getting an apartment (for example) with a friend or two a good idea? I know people can be hella unreliable especially if your friends are sloths and dont do shit. However, splitting the bills sounds tasty. It still seems risky to me.

Splitting the bill and having another roommate does sound good, and honestly.. is YOUR best option in your situation. But you will definitely have to find someone reliable and that is a solid roomie.

-Is it pretty tough once you're actually on your own? I'm not too sure how the whole thing would work even though I think I can handle it.

The only thing that is "tough" are bills. But as long as you don't overwhelm yourself, and do shit you know you can't handle in payments, etc.. you'll be fine. And since you can actually look for apartments and deals, knowing your week to week paycheck, you'll be okay. Hopefully.

-(For those of you on your own) When you first moved out, were you overwhelmed with the amount of time you spent being busy with school/work/whatever? Did you have much time to chill with your friends? For some reason, whenever I picture myself on my own, I'm chillin' with my friends at my place lol.

Chilling comes and goes. But so far.. I'm not overwhelmed. I got a place with my girlfriend of 2 years, and we are doing great. Bills, time together, finances, etc. We both work and school. Myself working 40 hours a week, herself working about 22. But we knew I would carry the load work-wise.

Anything you guys could mention on the topic would be highly appreciated! THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART AND THE MAIN REASON I MADE THIS THREAD.>>>>>>>For those of you on your own, could you please share your stories?

I plan to (somehow) repay my parents one day for all of the money and shit I owe them by now. I'll always have great respect for them, and it's not them, I just feel like I'm ready to be on my own and live my life.

Sorry for the grammar mistakes. :(

Discuss and share your experiences!

My girlfriend and I got a place together a while back, and we really searched until we found something that would not only be suitable for us, but would allow us to grow financially also. Being able to pay bills, spend what we need to, and be able to save. We also made sure that the rent wasn't any more than 1 paycheck full, give or take 70-80$.

At first we were overwhelmed even knowing financially we would be sound, since we planned it all out ahead of time, but after a few months.. we realized if we kept to the plan, everything would be okay.


So far it's been great, and we have a decent amount of time together. Just like a standard married couple that works from 9-5. Eat meals together, etc.


As long as you can make your payments, nothing else really matters lol.



And yes.. eating out is scarce. But you can now fill your place with food you enjoy, so it doesn't matter.

Ages:
Me (21) Girlfriend (22)


By the way, the extra finances beyond rent do add up, as mentioned above. That really is a major point. You're 18.. stay home. Lol.

 

[Euthanasia]

-Would it be possible for me to have a full-time job and attend a college at the same time? The obvious answer is yes, but would I be able to get the degree in the same amount of time as a "full-time college student?"

A full-time college schedule at most universities is 15 credit hours per term. This typically equates to five classes per semester.This can certainly be accomplished at the same time as a full-time job, but it will be immensely stressful and, unless you are able to read/write papers at work, will adversely affect your academic performance.My wife was the valedictorian of her graduating class in high school. She had a great first semester at the university, then she began to work a full-time job during the second semester. Her GPA dipped a full point. Granted, she is a biology major, and the workload is quite substantial, but she had always been able to handle it before. Something to consider, at least.

-Is getting an apartment (for example) with a friend or two a good idea? I know people can be hella unreliable especially if your friends are sloths and dont do shit. However, splitting the bills sounds tasty. It still seems risky to me.

Having a roommate is a great way to reduce the cost directly to you. I would advise, however, that you still try to find an apartment that you can afford on your own, and then consider adding roommates. If one of your roommates happens to skip out on their bills, which happens extremely frequently, you don't want to be stuck with rent that you cannot afford. There are also a variety of other issues to consider with roommates, as even the best of friends are often unable to live together for an extended period of time.

-Is it pretty tough once you're actually on your own? I'm not too sure how the whole thing would work even though I think I can handle it.

It is much, much harder than it seems. Even if you plan your budget down to the last cent, there will always be more costs than those for which you have accounted. Your credit cards will begin to fill up due to the unexpected costs, and eventually, the strain of living in debt will add even more to the existing stress of working and being a full-time student.

-(For those of you on your own) When you first moved out, were you overwhelmed with the amount of time you spent being busy with school/work/whatever? Did you have much time to chill with your friends? For some reason, whenever I picture myself on my own, I'm chillin' with my friends at my place lol.

Since moving out, my relationship with the vast majority of my friends has diminished to near-nothingness. At this point, I regularly speak with Levi, my best friend since age 4, and my wife. That's about it. There is almost always no time left to spend with friends, and, typically, driving to those friends, buying a couple of pizzas, seeing a movie, or whatever it is that you want to do for fun, always ends up being too expensive to be worthwhile. It is extremely difficult to maintain an active social life, work full-time, attend a university full-time, and deal with any other concerns which arise. (For example, do you plan to attend graduate school? If so, you will need to save time for extracurricular volunteer work in order to bolster your resume. If your particular course of graduate study requires additional testing in order to enter graduate programs, you must also be prepared to study and pay for them.)

I will note, however, that my relationship with my parents has undergone a complete turn from where it was when I lived at home. I used to be extremely close with my mother, and my father and I could not be in the same room for more than a few minutes at a time. Now, my dad has become one of my best friends, while I tend to cringe whenever I see my mother's name on my phone. Funny how these things work out. I have a few theories on the topic, but I'll save them for later.

Another thing... although this may seem silly, you will probably gain a lot of weight if you move out. With all of these time- and money-consuming things coming into your life, it becomes so much easier to grab a burger on the way home from school than to keep the house stocked with food and actually find time to cook it. Without extreme willpower, this can get way out of hand.

All things considered, I would advise that you remain at home as long as you possibly can. It may seem horrible to put up with everything there, but for my own part, I wish I had stuck around and saved up money a while longer. My wife and I barely ever disagree, but when we do, it ALWAYS involves money. Having to be financially independent sucks. That's the bottom line.

 

[McGrrr]

I am not in a position to answer your questions, but I will offer some more general thoughts.

1. Once you move out, you will miss many of the comforts that you currently take for granted.
2. You are almost certainly less mature than you believe yourself to be (we all are).
3. Life is hard enough without you going out of your way to make it harder. Step back and look at your situation from a pragmatic point of view. Think about the long term, not just about your current "shit" life. So there is nothing to do in your city, well I have news for you; there is nothing to do *anywhere* without financial security. Now is the time to set yourself achievable life goals and work hard to attain them. You should spend far more time thinking about that than about moving out.

 

[OGsloane]

While true for many, you don't know about that until you actually try it. A friend of mine moved out, got married and is working now right after graduating high school. He's living fine too. But advice, apply for fin aid and part time job and hope for the best. If you're lucky you get extra money from fin aid like me, 4k from this quarter in the bank XD

 

[Carparama]

Make sure you understand how to be safe financially. Things can and will go wrong, and if you go into debt, it's a lot of stress. Start saving now, and be careful.

I was never taught how to save money, or how to be responsible with money (My parents were fantastic, but this is one area I would have appreciated the knowledge.) and I am paying for it now.

The rest of the advice is pretty solid. I refuse to share rent with anyone I cannot completely trust, and I will be living with my sister.

Oh, and learn to cook. That makes things a lot easier too.

 

[mirza]

I am not in a position to answer your questions, but I will offer some more general thoughts.

1. Once you move out, you will miss many of the comforts that you currently take for granted.
2. You are almost certainly less mature than you believe yourself to be (we all are).
3. Life is hard enough without you going out of your way to make it harder. Step back and look at your situation from a pragmatic point of view. Think about the long term, not just about your current "shit" life. So there is nothing to do in your city, well I have news for you; there is nothing to do *anywhere* without financial security. Now is the time to set yourself achievable life goals and work hard to attain them. You should spend far more time thinking about that than about moving out.

You bring up some good points. Maybe I came off as too much of a prick but my life is definantly not "shit" lol. In the end it just comes down to wanting independence, for me at least. The whole small town thing isn't too much of a concern either since I plan on leaving after 4 years of uni anyways.

That last sentence really hits the nail on the head. I've noticed that I have been thinking a lot less about my goals and more on moving out. Good stuff Mr. McGraw.

 

[Wishy]

You really need to look at some of the cons of living alone, trying to support yourself financially and go to college is gonna be tough. Sure you get some added freedom but make sure you really think it through before making your decision.

>_> Also, my family (except my mom/dad) used to be like yours. They thought it was weird if I dated girls who weren't Bosnian but they've finally realized it doesn't matter... But I think my grandparents still want me to marry a Bosnian girl. I don't have the religion problem though, I'm catholic raised orthodox with muslim grandparents so I have 'religious flexibility'.

 

[Ghost [old]]

I too have often though of moving out, mostly due to the conflicts I have bewteen my mother. Like, I'm 18 and can't drive- despite my willingness to pay for insurance and our family owning a second car and stuff like that. To ask to talk about stuff like that is out of the question- I get completely shut out when I attempt to calmy aproach her.

Ultimately I've decided to stick it out, due to the realization that it would be very difficult to live on my own- despite the freedom I would finally get.

I can't advise the same for you without really getting a good idea of your living conditions, but I will say this: think long and hard before moving out and entertain ALL options. I've even thought of joining the armed forces just to get a for sure start in life in that college would be paid off, and I wouldn't have to worry about living costs.