No Weather No Homo

SAZ's No Weather No Homo team
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Wi-Fi Battle Team​

1.0
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Okay, I decided to build it around Virizion because he is somewhat a boss. I mean look at this guy he gets 108 speed and hits a decent Special Attack as well.

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With A Grass/Fighting I thought I needed a fire absorber thus Heatran came into the equation as Virizion covers his water and ground weakness and Heatran soaks up the fire this metagame likes to piss on us.

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Well I've got Grass and Fire so I guess Water is the way to go. I chose this pussy looking version of Gyarados as it is supposed to be bulkier/less weak to Electric and stuff. Also it gives me a shuffler and some more status to through around with Scald.

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Hmm now what. I guess I need to pick this piece of metal dick Bronzdong because he fucking resists everything. Heatran covers his fire weakness and gives me a lead to use. Sets up rocks and gives me another Gliscor counter.

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Here is something amazing to add to the table. Dudeskull's brother is here with his awesome Defenses and burning ability. Takes the Close Combats that are aimed to cactus rape Heatran and Bronzdong and in general takes other hits well. Also it's weaknesses to Ghost and Dark it makes it good bait for Virizion.

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Well if it isn't fucking Chuck Norris in a nutshell? Scares the shit out of Blissey and other fat normal type (BAN ME PLEASE)s. TBH he didn't really fit in as well as some other members but he has four fucking arms he must be some kind fucking discus champion or something. So that makes up from him not fitting well with the team IMO.

2.0
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Ok well Milotank wasn't cutting the mustard for me. In fact she was doing shit. Not taking any hits and just dying to stuff. Also whenever Milotic came out Scizor did as well resulting in a buttfucking if Heatran was dead. Virizion was doing fine as expected along with Heatran, Bronzdong and Machamp. Also nobody ever expects Focus Punch Machamp.

Fagsire was a good replacement for Milotic giving me an electric immunity along with this shits on Scizor and other (BAN ME PLEASE)s that likes to setup on stuff or has already setup on stuff.

3.0
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Dudeskull wasn't pulling his weight so fuck him I got the improved robotic flying dildo Golurk to help me out in tough situations. Although he is just a shittier version of the Iron Giant another electric immunity makes up for it and another thing, it kill the shit out of Scizor and Blissey was nice as well.

The Team

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Bronzong @ Leftovers
Trait: Levitate
EVs: 252 HP / 84 Atk / 80 Def / 92 SDef
Sassy Nature (+SDef, -Spd)
- Earthquake
- Gyro Ball
- Stealth Rock
- Hidden Power [Ice]

My lead 9 times out of 10. Sets up rocks or Hidden Powers their Dagrons. I mean this guy doesn't get much more standard than this I mean if the other guy has Taunt use a fucking attacking move and you're set. Since this so fucking standard/generic you should know it takes 49ish% from Fire Blast/Punch from a TTar lead. Also it takes 70-80% if they are spec/band'd so if I know they are locked I'll swap to Heatran and try my luck ruining their switch with Magma Storm.

Possible replacements for Bronzdong
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Scizor@ Choice Band
Trait: Technician
EVs: 248 HP / 252 Atk / 8 Spd[/SIZE]
Adamant Nature (+ Atk, - Sp.Atk)
- Bullet Punch
- U-Turn
- Pursuit
- Super Power
Scizor can cover those two by having Bullet Punch, which is a priority move and thus outspeed those monsters. STAB + Technician is brutal. The thing is, that would increase your weakness to fire... Maybe you could change Bronzong for this guy and rearrange Heatran's moves a little bit so that it becomes more of a supporter.

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Skarmory (F) @ Leftovers
Trait: Sturdy
EVs: 252 HP / 252 Def
Bold Nature (+Def, -Atk)
- Toxic
- Stealth Rock
- Sky Drop
- Roost
Gives me SR and instead of attacking, Toxic + Sky Drop is kind of rape. I just need to be incredibly pussy of Taunt users.

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Scolipede (F) @ Focus Sash
Trait: Poison Point
EVs: 252 HP / 2 SDef / 252 Spd
Hardy Nature
- Spikes
- Toxic Spikes
- Megahorn
- Earthquake

This guy could be useful as a lead but it means I'm giving up SR for Spikes/Toxic Spikes. He also will then give me a way to absorb Toxic Spikes which kind of gimps my team.

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Heatran (F) @ Air Balloon
Trait: Flash Fire
EVs: 252 SAtk / 252 Spd
Modest Nature (+SAtk, -Atk)
- Earth Power
- Magma Storm
- Dragon Pulse
- Hidden Power [Ice]

A max offensive Heatran here (less the Life Orb/Specs). Due to me not using Life Orb/Specs it shows how not all my sets are generic as fuck. I use Magma Storm for the lolz factor I mean that 70% accuracy only pisses me off when I miss and even then I don't really care because if I lose from missing with Magma Storm I can blame losing on hax rather than getting school'd. Earth Power lets me counter other non Air Balloon Heatran and Magnazone. HP Ice is my Dragon counter. Either I switch in on the Outrage and they get locked in for an easy kill or they use EQ and miss and then I get a free attack. Dragon Pulse is there for Haxorus as HP Ice doesn't hit hard enough.

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Quagsire (F) @ Leftovers
Trait: Unaware
EVs: 252 HP / 4 Def / 252 SDef
Careful Nature (+SDef, -SAtk)
- Curse
- Recover
- Earthquake/Return
- Waterfall

Well this guy is fucking original, oh wait he isn't. My second wall after Bronzdong. Fagsire comes in on shit that likes to setup on it eg Scizor. Curse + Recover don't need explaining. Waterfall/Earthquake is there for dual STAB but I am thinking of using Return so Rotem doesn't completely fuck my shit up. When Latios/other Draco Meteor (BAN ME PLEASE)s come in I swap back to Bronzdong or Heatran so I don't die.

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Virizion @ Life Orb
Trait: Justified
EVs: 252 SAtk / 252 Spd
Timid Nature (+Spd, -Atk)
- Focus Blast
- Giga Drain
- Calm Mind
- Hidden Power [Ice]

Well I got Heatran and Fagsire so I guess having Virizion completes the FGW core. Now this guy is a (BAN ME PLEASE), I'm like 90% sure +1 Hidden Power kills just about every Dagron on the face of the planet. at +2 it kills every Dragonite even with Multiscale which is some hardcore shit. I mean this set doesn't get more generic than this but people still don't know how to stop it. Giga Drain with Life Orb is there for recovery and Focus Blast is there to kill shit that resists Giga Drain.

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Golurk @ Choice Band
Trait: Iron Fist
EVs: 252 HP / 252 Atk / 4 Spd
Adamant Nature (+Atk, -SAtk)
- Hammer Arm
- Earthquake
- Shadow Punch
- Stone Edge

Finally something that isn't on every other team I play against. This guy is interesting, he is kind of there as filler right now but he seems to be doing ok. I mean that Hammer Arm coming off 570 attack is far from bad. I mean he blocks Rapid Spin, Close Combat, Focus Blast and shit that Bronzdong/Heatran don't like. On another note that was just pointed out to me, besides being a phantom, robotic, flying dildo, the Shadow Punch is like a punch to Redonkulous' ovaries which is just fucking fantastic.

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Machamp (M) @ Flame Orb
Trait: Guts
EVs: 248 HP / 252 Atk / 8 Spd
Adamant Nature (+Atk, -SAtk)
- Substitute
- Focus Punch
- Payback
- Ice Punch

Since every person on the face off the Earth thinks that Machamp must run No Guard they run like fucking girls when I send in Machamp against their Normal/Dark type pokemon. The switch means I get to Sub and get burnt. Without any recovery at all I get kind of raped by the burn damage and for some reason 4 arms isn't a good enough reason for him to get Drain Punch but nevermind. Once Machamp goes in he doesn't come out for any reason because he is too fragile/damaged after taking 2 ticks of burn, sub and possibly Spikes and SR.

Replacement for Machamp
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Terrakion @ Choice Band
Trait: Justified
EVs: 252 Atk / 4 SDef / 252 Spd
Jolly Nature (+Spd, -SAtk)
- Close Combat
- Stone Edge
- X-Scissor
- Quick Attack

Threats
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This (BAN ME PLEASE) hits me with EQ even though I have Levitate, how is that even fucking fair. I mean it's like he negates my ability or something.

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Although I have 4 Ice moves he is still a problem sometimes. I mean sure I can take him down but it may require me to lose something in the process.

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Outspeeds my shit because he is sitting on the fucking Flying Nimbus from Dragon Ball or something crazy. Then the (BAN ME PLEASE) has the indecency to Kamehameha me with Thunderbolts and Focus Blasts and just when I am about to FINISH HIM he fucking uses Sash + Thunderwave to gimp my team further I mean what a (BAN ME PLEASE).

Code:
Virizion @ Life Orb
Trait: Justified
EVs: 252 SAtk / 252 Spd
Timid Nature (+Spd, -Atk)
- Focus Blast
- Giga Drain
- Calm Mind
- Hidden Power [Ice]

Heatran (F) @ Air Balloon
Trait: Flash Fire
EVs: 252 SAtk / 252 Spd
Modest Nature (+SAtk, -Atk)
- Earth Power
- Magma Storm
- Dragon Pulse
- Hidden Power [Ice]

Quagsire (F) @ Leftovers
Trait: Unaware
EVs: 252 HP / 4 Def / 252 SDef
Careful Nature (+SDef, -SAtk)
- Curse
- Recover
- Earthquake
- Waterfall

Golurk @ Choice Band
Trait: Iron Fist
EVs: 208 HP / 252 Atk / 48 Spd
Adamant Nature (+Atk, -SAtk)
- Hammer Arm
- Earthquake
- Shadow Punch
- Stone Edge

Bronzong @ Leftovers
Trait: Levitate
EVs: 252 HP / 84 Atk / 80 Def / 92 SDef
Sassy Nature (+SDef, -Spd)
- Earthquake
- Gyro Ball
- Stealth Rock
- Hidden Power [Ice]

Machamp (M) @ Flame Orb
Trait: Guts
EVs: 248 HP / 252 Atk / 8 Spd
Adamant Nature (+Atk, -SAtk)
- Substitute
- Focus Punch
- Payback
- Ice Punch
 
Hello there, Baller_King_SAZ,
you seem to have a very neat and well structured team with almost no resistances, which is a great accomplishment in nowadays' metagame. You say you have problems facing Dragonites and Haxorus. I suggest you use this guy here:

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Scizor @ Choice Band
Trait: Technician
EVs: 248 HP / 252 Atk / 8 Spd
Adamant Nature (+ Atk, - Sp.Atk)

- Bullet Punch
- U-Turn
- Pursuit
- Super Power


Scizor can cover those two by having Bullet Punch, which is a priority move and thus outspeed those monsters. STAB + Technician is brutal. The thing is, that would increase your weakness to fire... Maybe you could change Bronzong for this guy and rearrange Heatran's moves a little bit so that it becomes more of a supporter.

About your Thundurus problem.... well, the only solution I find is Quagsire. You have to keep it till the end and save if for him. Other than that, I think your team is pretty solid. The only thing, though, would be Focu Blast > Sacred Sword on your Virizion.

Hope it helped (:
 
Yo my dude, why you need return yo? Fuck earthquake, run that swagger. Even thought they get that attack boost u aint even paying attention to that shit with your unaware yo. They u jst be setting it up with them curses and then u are out with ur sweeping. use that curse, recover, swagger, waterfall. Use scizor to replace that golurk and use starmie over that machamp soz u got your self a late game sweeper. Good luck with your team.
 
Why don't you just go with No Guard Machamp? Dynamic Punch over Focus Punch and Thunder Punch over Substitute
 
Hello there, Baller_King_SAZ,
you seem to have a very neat and well structured team with almost no resistances, which is a great accomplishment in nowadays' metagame. You say you have problems facing Dragonites and Haxorus. I suggest you use this guy here:

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Scizor @ Choice Band
Trait: Technician
EVs: 248 HP / 252 Atk / 8 Spd
Adamant Nature (+ Atk, - Sp.Atk)

- Bullet Punch
- U-Turn
- Pursuit
- Super Power


Scizor can cover those two by having Bullet Punch, which is a priority move and thus outspeed those monsters. STAB + Technician is brutal. The thing is, that would increase your weakness to fire... Maybe you could change Bronzong for this guy and rearrange Heatran's moves a little bit so that it becomes more of a supporter.

About your Thundurus problem.... well, the only solution I find is Quagsire. You have to keep it till the end and save if for him. Other than that, I think your team is pretty solid. The only thing, though, would be Focu Blast > Sacred Sword on your Virizion.

Hope it helped (:
I was trying to avoid using Scizor but then again I'm trying to find a Bronzdong replacement. I'll try Scizor over him. As for Virizion although I said above I don't even care about miss chance I don't really want to let Virizion die from missing so I'll keep Sacred Sword.

Why don't you just go with No Guard Machamp? Dynamic Punch over Focus Punch and Thunder Punch over Substitute
Because Focus Punch off 550ish attack (Guts bonus) kills a lot more things than Dynamic Punch can. Then again Machamp seems to be dying quite a lot from burn damage so I'll consider changing it.
 
Because Focus Punch off 550ish attack (Guts bonus) kills a lot more things than Dynamic Punch can. Then again Machamp seems to be dying quite a lot from burn damage so I'll consider changing it.

It may have the Guts bonus, but DynamicPunch doesn't need for you to be burnt and to lost 25% of your health.
 
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This (BAN ME PLEASE) hits me with EQ even though I have Levitate, how is that even fucking fair. I mean it's like he negates my ability or something.
That may be because of Mold Breaker, which means he ignores other people's abilities. It negates everything from Wonder Guard to Levitate.

Also, a Rock Polish, LO Golurk will have a better chance of sweeping because +2 speed is just so <3
 
That may be because of Mold Breaker, which means he ignores other people's abilities. It negates everything from Wonder Guard to Levitate.

Also, a Rock Polish, LO Golurk will have a better chance of sweeping because +2 speed is just so <3

I was kind of joking about Haxfag but for the Rock Polish + LO might be a good.
 
Hi cool team. I don't like Sacred Sword on your Virizion. A +1 Focus Blast does more damage to Blissey than that Timid Sacred Sword will do. Focus Blast however hits everything else way harder meaning Bronzong and Jirachi and Skarmory will have a much harder time countering this set. Focus Blast does have shit accuracy but it's just much better fighting STAB. You lack a good way to deal with drizzle outside of Virizion who takes way to much from rain boosted Hydro Pumps from Politoed, and once Virizion is down, Politoed alone has a good shot at running through your team. I also don't like the look of that Machamp. That set is going to be dying way too fast to be effective. It takes 6% from Stealth Rock. 25% from a substitute. 12% from burn damage. That's 43% on one turn. If sandstorm is up, which it will often, you'll have taken 49% damage from one turn. Not to mention you can't use your STAB unless you get a sub up which you won't always be able to do.

To deal with these issues I'm going to suggest Gastrodon over Quagsire, and Scarf Terrakion over Machamp. Gastrodon does really well against drizzle with Storm Drain giving it a water immunity. If you watch out for the odd HP Grass on Politoed Gastrodon should help a lot here. Scarf Terrakion would help a lot over Machamp just to deal with dragon dancers such as Haxorus and Salamence should Heatran's balloon have popped. It also revenges Thundurus if they manage to break Gastrodon and your team needed a little more speed.

Gastrodon @ Leftovers | Storm Drain
Calm | 252 HP / 4 Def / 252 SDef
Scald / Ice Beam / Toxic / Recover

Terrakion @ Choice Scarf
Jolly | 4 HP / 252 Atk / 252 Spe
Close Combat / Stone Edge / X-Scissor / Earthquake

I don't have much else to say. Your team was was quite solid before, but with the changes I suggested I think it will become even better. gl.

Ok I'll swap in Focus Blast and consider Terrakion, the big thing is I can't afford to get rid of Quagsire because right now he is the only thing stopping things that setup on me.
 
Great team, hilarious RMT. Since your team is generally slow, Trick Room might not be a bad choice for Bronzong, but that's your decision.
 
Also, you may want to consider Conkeldurp over Machamp if you are not using his ability. He is bulkier and Hits higher attack. Also, Band Golurk is rather predictable and gets you stuck in some tight situations. Consider Sub + Leftovers or even Life Orb if you really want to damage.
Also, Latios can destroy your team pretty easily. Consider a more defensive Heatran (maybe with toxic).
 
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